soul. What was she doing? “You love her and…” even with my eyes closed, I could see her smile. “…you will grow to love me even more than you already do. I know it. When you see how wonderful I make the world. Then you’ll understand.”
“Then we can be together. We can be together forever, my love!” Don’t call me that, Deirda. “We can walk though the forest again. We can see the lost creatures and races returned. With the swords as one, she is a Goddess now. A true Goddess. She will balance the world. Give everyone room. There will be peace. There will be love. Hate. Greed. Worry. Those are things of the past now. She will make them go away and we shall all live in harmony.” Ah, my sister. If only you could see what I do. She could do most of those things, aye. Was it worth the cost? No freedom?
“We will be wed. We will be happy. Our children will come into a world that is peaceful and safe and full of love. You’ll see.”
No I won’t, dear sister. I’m dying now. Not even she can hold me to this place.
“No. You’re wrong again.” That voice was so very, very soft. It was inside me still, in my everything. I could see her now. Standing there in all her naked glory. She had always been a beauty and now, she did look like a living Goddess. Her hair was a true flame now, growing ever outward from her. Her ember eyes burning as bright as stars. As hot as twin suns! Yet I could see into them easily. How? They filled me with longing. And fear. A deep fear. A fear of and for myself. She stood firmly between me and that great white wall. “You will not die now, my Andorian. Not now.” Those warm fingers again in my… our… no mine! In my mind. I’m so lost now. What is she doing? What?
What!?
What are you doing in my head? What are you…changing?
“She won’t let you die my past, present and future love. She promised.” And then I could feel it. I could hear Deirda’s small gasp. A happy laugh. “Thank you! Oh thank you!” She broke out in more little sobs. Happy sobs. “Thank you, Goddess.”
“Call me sister.” The words were so kind. Who knew such kindness could be so evil?
“Thank you, sister!”
No. I am going to die. I have failed. And if I do live, you will regret it. I know you can hear me!
The white wall vanished.
Damn me. I couldn’t even die right.
I felt those fingers moving again. Felt my worries begin to fade. No! Those are mine! Those are me! As hard as I clung onto them, they slipped through my fingers. All my worries…
Worries?
“No, they are worries of the past. Things you no longer need. Your burden is gone. You’re finally free. Your world will be so much brighter when you awaken.” No. I’m dying. I have too. I must. I lost. I would rather be dead than live without my freedom. What are you doing to me? I want to feel sorrow for those deaths.
I want.
Now, it was just black. The only thing in all that blackness were those ember eyes, searching through me head. Picking. Deciding. I could feel her at work. Moving this, changing that.
“Good night, my Andorian. Sleep well. When you awaken, you will be as fresh and new as the world around you. Not only will you have the love of the one true Goddess, a love no other man may know, you will have the love of the only woman that could love you as much as one human can love another.”
“She’s right.” No my sister. You are…
…what was I thinking?
“I’ll be with you forever. I’ll never leave you. No longer will we worry about fighting. Wars. Nations. Food. Money. It will be heaven.”
I was not dying now. I knew it. I could feel it and I was more afraid than ever.
“And we will take care of you forever.” Those gentle ember eyes began to fade finally. Those gentle fingers dug through my mind softly, like combing through a knot in someone’s hair, removing the tangles. “Forever and ever and the three of us will be very happy together. My sister. My Andorian.”
Hold on…hold onto…myself…
“We’ll take care of you like no one else. I love you so much. You’ll live on forever now with both of us always at your side. Then you’ll see she was right. My love, you’ll see.”
I felt her warm kiss. Both of them. And I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream. I wanted to end myself. But I couldn’t. I could not do it despite all my efforts. The only thing I could do, was lay there. Helpless. As my mind began to shut off, going from death to sleep, I realized something.
I did love her.
I opened my mouth slightly to taste her. Her kiss turned even more passionate. She was pure. She was love. And I would be happy for the rest of my days. I’m so happy that…
…no! No that’s not me! I’m not…
What are you doing to me?
“I told you…brother and sister are always stronger as one. Together, you are far more powerful than when alone. Daystar and Nightstar, you and Deirda. As one you will be happy and full of love forever. And I, your new sister, I will be with you always.”
I…want…
“You should be thankful. Not many beings in all the worlds can say they are the love of a Goddess.” Her voice was so comforting. “When you wake up, you will still be you. You will be you, yet you will be new.”
So that’s it then. In a way, I am dying. I lost and am dead. Dead yet, I will wake up. I wonder what it will be like? To have my two true loves–
Wait! Selene? Selene, Selene… Selene?
Who is that? Why is her name so familiar. I can almost see her. Almost. Like a dream you desperately grasp at as you’re waking. I tried to hold her. Tried to remember. Was she a dream? Is this? What’s happening to me?
“Something wonderful, my love.” Was that the Goddess or my wife. No…sister not wife. She’s my….
No matter. I just wonder what this world will be like. When I wake up. When this dream is over.
What will it be like, when I wake up from this little dream within a dream…
When I wake up and have the women I love at my side forever.
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