Once I was upright again, Jesse’s hands let me go. It took me a second to figure out what was happening. Jesse and I were no longer slow dancing, even though the slow song poured out of the speakers. That he’d hip-checked me, and it popped me a few steps to the side. Off-balance, I tried to steady myself, but Jesse spread his legs and thrust his crotch at me, grinding himself on my bare leg to a nonexistent beat. Hard, almost like I was a soccer player on an opposing team and he was trying to steal the ball from me. I wish I had been ready for it, I wish Jesse had given me a heads-up, because if he had, there’s no way I would have fallen.
There were gasps from the people watching us as I hit the floor, I definitely heard them. And then laughter. Shocked, I stared up at Jesse, but he was all smiles, giving me a come-hither look and crooking his finger, beckoning me to stand back up. He opened his mouth and said something, but I couldn’t hear it because of the screams of everyone rushing close to watch us. I turned and saw Morgan. Even she was clapping. And Victoria too, with a bemused look on her face.
So I did it. I did what Jesse wanted, what the entire gym wanted, the only thing I really could do in the situation. I hopped back up to my feet and grinded on him as hard as he’d grinded on me. I did the running man in a circle around him while everyone clapped to the beat. I forced him to turn around and spanked his butt over and over again while he bit down on his finger and made groaning sounds.
That’s when Bundy raced over and got between us. Jesse held up his hands in mock shock, pretending not to understand what she was upset about. The crowd booed. Then Bundy looked at me. Glared at me.
“Three years later and you’re still hell-bent on embarrassing yourself.”
My mouth plopped open. It was a sucker punch, as mean as or maybe even meaner than the way she came at me right before I quit Mock Congress. Even though I was older now, practically a senior, I shrank and shriveled inside like I was still a freshman. And just like she had then, Bundy turned on her heel and walked away from me before I could defend myself.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one to walk away from me.
I looked for Jesse to see if he’d heard, but he was already strutting back toward his friends, who either had their hands up for high fives or shook their heads with amused disbelief.
Left alone, I smoothed my dress. It was even dirtier now, the lace smudged muddy, having picked up the dirt from the gym floor on the spots that were still damp. I walked over to the food table, hoping they might have club soda or something, but of course they didn’t. High school dances were club soda–free zones.
“Keeley!”
Elise and Morgan waved me over to our table.
I got myself a can of soda and headed toward them, trying to hold on to the good feelings I’d had earlier in the night.
“This is honestly the craziest courtship I’ve ever seen,” Elise said as she scrolled through pictures on her phone she’d taken of Jesse and me. “I don’t even know how to advise you.”
Morgan rested her chin on her hand. “But it’s so perfectly them, don’t you think?”
“Oh, totally! Whatever you’re doing, Keeley, keep doing it. It’s clearly working!” Elise held up a photo of me and Jesse dancing and beaming million-dollar smiles.
“Keeley, what’s wrong?” Morgan asked. Even though she said it quietly, Elise looked up from her phone.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, and I rolled my wrist to be extra convincing. “Just Bundy being a beeyotch. Whatever.”
Morgan twisted her head around until she saw Bundy, and then curled her lip. “Ugh. Forget it.” It was the second time in two weeks that my best friend had said those words.
• • •
Wes didn’t know Morgan had him on speaker when he asked her not to bring me to his friend’s party because I was obnoxious and not funny and none of his friends wanted to hook up with me anyway.
Morgan and I looked at each other, and then at the phone on her bed. Morgan dove for it, but she wasn’t quick enough.
“Not even Beeker,” Wes said. Which was probably another insult, though I didn’t know Beeker, so I couldn’t say for sure. “Come on. Can’t you tell her you and Elise are doing something else this time?”
The way he asked it, whiny, I knew he’d asked her not to bring me before.
Morgan finally turned the speaker off and put the phone up to her ear.
I sat down on the floor and for whatever reason, started folding random clothes that Morgan had strewn around her room. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised Wes would say such shitty things about me, especially considering what had happened a few days before, but I still was.
After that, I only heard half the conversation.
“Screw you, Wes, she’s my best friend.” And then, “I told you she didn’t mean it. She was just kidding around.” There was a long pause. “No.” And then a longer one. “Yeah, well, if you can’t take a joke”—at this point, she looked at me and made a stupid face, like Wes was being annoying—“then, yeah, I guess we are breaking up.” She hung up her phone and threw it across the room.
“You and Elise can go without me,” I said after a few minutes of stunned silence. “I don’t care. You’re not going to hurt my feelings.” That wasn’t even a lie. I couldn’t be any more hurt than I already was.
“Forget it,” Morgan said. Then she hugged me very, very tightly, as if she wanted to make sure that this was really happening, that her dumping Wes wasn’t just a bad dream.
• • •
Even though it hadn’t worked the first time, I tried again to do exactly what Morgan said. Forget it. I sat quietly in the gym for the next few songs, while Elise sent texts and Morgan danced in her seat.
And then, lo and behold, “Cupid Shuffle” came on.
A rush of people headed to the dance floor, boys as well as girls. Maybe because the song lyrics were instructions? I’m not sure. The three of us went out too. Of course I looked for Jesse, but didn’t see him.
I went through the motions, twisting and turning, but I kept scanning the gym. Where had Jesse gone? Maybe back to the locker room? I knew he wouldn’t miss this opportunity to put on a show in front of everyone.
About halfway through the song, I figured I should go look for him.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have a sense of dread. I already knew that the night had slipped away from me somehow.
I walked quickly down the hallway, past the girls’ bathroom, past the guidance offices and the library, “Cupid Shuffle” melting away underneath the rain the farther I got from the gym. My feet were still bare, the bottoms black, and I moved silently. No one would hear me coming. I rounded the corner and peered down at the science wing.
And there, at the end of the hallway, was Jesse Ford.
With Victoria Dunkle.
She sat on top of the hall monitor desk where Mrs. Treasman handed out demotions. Victoria’s legs were crossed and angled to the side. She wore a lemon-yellow halter dress, a plain cotton one, nothing special. Jesse had both hands on the corners of the desk and he leaned in to her, whispering something. She tipped her head back and giggled.
I whipped back around the corner and steadied myself against a set of lockers, listening. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. It was Jesse talking, mostly. Victoria, all she did was giggle.
I almost, almost laughed. But then I looked down at my dirty dress and everything got blurry.
I quickly wiped my face.
I did not cry at school. Ever.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Morgan’s hand, I thought. I hoped. I remembered her warning earlier in the morning. You don’t want to make Jesse laugh tonight. You want him to kiss you. God, I screwed that up.
Or maybe it was Jesse?
I didn’t want him to see me crying. But maybe it would be a good thing if he did. He’d know that I really did like him.
But how could he not know that already?
I looked up. Levi Hamrick, in wet
jeans, running sneakers, and a black rain slicker. “Keeley.”
I had never heard my name spoken so gently.
Then the lights flickered out.
7
* * *
Saturday, May 14
EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM ALERT: Intermittent power outages due to high winds are being reported across Aberdeen County and Waterford City Metro. Residents are being advised to avoid unnecessary travel.
* * *
We stood in the dark for a few seconds. Then the emergency lights flicked on and woke everything up.
“Don’t sneak up on people like that!” I hissed.
Levi made a sour face and drew his hand away from me quickly, as if I were suddenly hot to the touch. “I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you,” he said, an edge to his voice, the same way he’d spoken to me at the Key Club sandbagging when he’d caught me joking around with Jesse. Like an annoyed older brother. Or a dad. “I found you crying in the middle of the hallway.”
“Oh my God, shhh! ” I glanced to where the science wing began and prayed Jesse and Victoria hadn’t heard that. Levi hadn’t come to Spring Formal, or rather, I didn’t remember seeing him, not that I would look. “What are you doing here?”
“The power outages. Now, just stay where you are a second,” Levi said sternly, holding his palm to me as if he were directing traffic. He looked up at the emergency lights, counting the beams of weak spotlight after weak spotlight. They were mounted over every other classroom door and barely made a dent in the darkness, a total joke compared to the bright pops of lightning outside. Some didn’t even turn on.
Levi was only a couple of inches taller than me, still a good size for a guy but not nearly as tall as Jesse. He unzipped his rain slicker and underneath was a white polo shirt, two points jutting down like arrows. His hair was buzzed to peach fuzz. He’d worn it that way as long as I could remember. I had no idea what Levi looked like with hair, if it was curly or wavy or straight. His eyes were plain brown like mine, or so I thought.
It wouldn’t be until a few weeks later that I’d notice the yellow flecks.
While Levi was preoccupied, I began walking backward the way I’d come, hoping to disappear to the gym without anyone noticing. But Jesse and Victoria rounded the corner.
“Oh,” Jesse said, his eyes meeting mine. He didn’t say it surprised. Or apologetic. It came out straightforward and plain, like the fifteenth letter of the alphabet.
I said “Hey!” as cheerily as I could. Which, looking back, I bet didn’t sound cheery. But I tried.
“Hi, Keeley,” Victoria said sheepishly. Had Jesse told her what I’d said to him? Had they both been laughing at me?
Levi groaned and shook his head. “Everyone needs to get back to the gym now,” he announced. “The hallways are off-limits.”
Jesse looked at me and rolled his eyes toward Levi before walking back to the gym.
Maybe Jesse thought he’d caught me with Levi?
If he did think that, would it make him jealous?
I quickly decided no. Because of what Jesse already thought about Levi, and also knowing all the mean things I’d said about Levi that day we were sandbagging the river.
He has such a hard-on for rules, I bet he jerks off to the school handbook.
That one had really landed. Jesse was shocked to hear a girl make a jerk-off joke. Wasn’t that the start of everything? The moment when Jesse really noticed me? It sure felt that way. And we’d had so much fun over the last week, drawing lines in the sand and daring each other to jump over them.
Had Jesse ever planned to kiss me tonight? Or was that a joke too?
I convinced myself that the reason I had never been loved by a boy was because I hadn’t met a boy who got me. Jesse was supposed to be that person. I was so sure he was. Except Jesse was with the beautiful girl who I bet never once took a purposefully ugly picture of herself or did a stupid dance.
I used to think Morgan and Elise had some secret special knowledge of how to get boys to like them. And I felt lucky that they were there to help me get it right. But it suddenly seemed far simpler. I just had to do the opposite of my natural impulses. Because something was obviously wrong with me if I thought licking a car window was an acceptable way to flirt with anyone. Or making masturbation jokes. Or admitting my love for someone I’d really only known for a week.
As we reached the doorway to the gym, I saw flashing bright red and blue lights through the streamers. Four police cars were parked outside the gym doors and more were pulling into the parking lot. But I wasn’t nervous or scared. I felt sick to my stomach over what had happened with me and Jesse.
Principal Bundy pushed through the streamers. She was already frowning, but when she laid eyes on me, it doubled. “What are you kids doing? The hallways are off-limits.”
Levi, flummoxed, tried to explain. “I know. I was going after them to bring them back.”
I seized the opportunity and hurried over to the café table where my friends were. People lit the room with their cell phone screens, waving them around like they were sparklers.
Morgan elbowed me. “Where’d you disappear to? Did you and Jesse . . .” I wanted to make a joke but couldn’t. So I shook my head. “Don’t worry,” she said. “The night is young!”
My phone buzzed. It was a text from my mom. I knew by the length. She always wrote the longest texts.
Kee, so sorry I missed pictures. Annie sent me some and you looked beautiful. Are you having fun? If so, DO NOT WASTE YOUR GOOD TIME WRITING BACK TO YOUR POOR OLD MOTHER. But please text when you get to Morgan’s house tonight so I know you made it safe. Be careful out there! The roads are really bad. Looks like this “storm of the century” is living up to the hype.
Jesse was now sitting two tables over from ours, tossing kernels of popcorn into the air and catching them in his mouth. He caught every single one. There were a couple of senior girls with him, keeping count. But not Victoria.
More red and blue lights danced off the walls as additional cop cars pulled up to the gym. Levi pushed open the door and let in his father. Really, the only difference between them was that Sheriff Hamrick was in a uniform and Levi was not. Levi held the door open for the other officers as they filed in too, and each one regarded Levi in some knowing way—a pat on the shoulder, a nod of the head. Those officers brought in emergency lights, battery-powered I guess, and placed them in the center circle of the basketball court, pointed up to the ceiling. Other officers positioned themselves at every doorway, preventing students from either wandering the hallways or going outside.
Principal Bundy set down her phone and headed directly over to Sheriff Hamrick. A heated discussion ensued.
“What do you think’s happening?” Morgan asked.
Even though Levi had told me, I said nothing.
“I bet another tree fell somewhere,” Elise said. “Probably took out the power lines.” She leaned forward giddily. “You guys, maybe we’ll have to spend the night here! Like a huge coed sleepover!”
I smiled, but really, the idea made my head hurt, the thought of Jesse and Victoria sneaking off again together, or maybe spooning together on a shared gym mat. What would Elise and Morgan say then?
A few minutes later, the electricity came back on. We squinted at the sudden brightness. The DJ’s music blasted out of the speakers after an ear-deafening pop. The students cheered and Morgan gasped and put a hand on my back, like maybe we’d have another song to dance to, but Principal Bundy quickly shut that down by giving the DJ the kill sign. She walked to the center of the gym floor, cupped her hands around her mouth, and called out, “Because of safety concerns, we’ve decided to end tonight’s Spring Formal early.” The whole room erupted, boos and hisses and whines, which Bundy tried to quell by holding up her hands. “For those students who drove themselves here tonight, we are going to have a caravan of officers leading you out through the flooded roads.” Levi appeared by her side and lifted a clipboard high over his head. “The
rest of you, please see Levi Hamrick, add your names to this call list, and we will get in touch with your parents and provide you rides home in one of our school buses.”
Everyone began to murmur. No one was concerned about the danger or the weather. They were annoyed that Spring Formal was officially over. They didn’t want the night to end.
Morgan reacted to something over my shoulder. “Shhh. Here he comes.” And then I felt something under the table. It was Morgan, slipping me a piece of gum. She winked.
I didn’t know how to play it. I couldn’t tell them the truth, especially when I wasn’t sure what the truth was. Even my possible misunderstanding of everything was too humiliating. So I put the gum in my mouth, picked up my phone, and stared at it.
Jesse leaned over our table. “Party at Zito’s house. You guys know where he lives, right?”
Without being too obvious, I watched his eyes scan our table. Morgan and Elise both nodded, looking excited to go. Zito was a senior and we were being invited over. I’d heard there were two trailers on his property. One for his family, and one just for him. Finally, Jesse’s attention landed on me. His gaze did not linger on me any longer than it had on anyone else.
I was trying to come up with an excuse for Morgan and Elise as to why I needed to go home, while Jesse went around the rest of the gym and invited other people to Zito’s house, but in the time it took for the caravan to be ready, we lost electricity in the gym twice more. After that, it seemed like everyone was resigned to calling it a night. I was so glad of that.
Principal Bundy made an announcement for everyone to get into their cars. Elise tried to get Levi to allow her to ride home with us, but he told her rules were rules and she’d have to go on the bus. I put on my rain boots again, found my coat in the bathroom where I’d left it. The rain was still coming down in sheets. It was far less fun and exciting to step back outside than it had been on our way inside. Not just for me. For everyone.