of mankind; but that themiddle station had the fewest disasters, and was not exposed to so manyvicissitudes as the higher or lower part of mankind; nay, they were notsubjected to so many distempers and uneasinesses, either of body ormind, as those were, who by vicious living, luxury, and extravagances,on one hand, or by hard labour, want of necessaries, and mean orinsufficient diet, on the other hand, bring distempers upon themselvesby the natural consequences of their way of living; that the middlestation of life was calculated for all kind of virtues and all kind ofenjoyments; that peace and plenty were the handmaids of a middlefortune; that temperance, moderation, quietness, health, society, allagreeable diversions, and all desirable pleasures, were the blessingsattending the middle station of life; that this way men went silentlyand smoothly through the world, and comfortably out of it, notembarrassed with the labours of the hands or of the head, not sold tothe life of slavery for daily bread, or harassed with perplexedcircumstances, which rob the soul of peace, and the body of rest; notenraged with the passion of envy, or secret burning lust of ambition forgreat things; but in easy circumstances sliding gently through theworld, and sensibly tasting the sweets of living, without the bitter,feeling that they are happy, and learning by every day's experience toknow it more sensibly.
After this, he pressed me earnestly, and in the most affectionatemanner, not to play the young man, not to precipitate myself intomiseries which nature and the station of life I was born in seemed tohave provided against; that I was under no necessity of seeking mybread; that he would do well for me, and endeavour to enter me fairlyinto the station of life which he had been just recommending to me; andthat if I was not very easy and happy in the world, it must be my merefate or fault that must hinder it, and that he should have nothing toanswer for, having thus discharged his duty in warning me againstmeasures which he knew would be to my hurt: in a word, that as he woulddo very kind things for me if I would stay and settle at home as hedirected, so he would not have so much hand in my misfortunes, as togive me any encouragement to go away: and to close all, he told me I hadmy elder brother for an example, to whom he had used the same earnestpersuasions to keep him from going into the Low Country wars, but couldnot prevail, his young desires prompting him to run into the army, wherehe was killed; and though he said he would not cease to pray for me, yethe would venture to say to me, that if I did take this foolish step, Godwould not bless me, and I would have leisure hereafter to reflect uponhaving neglected his counsel when there might be none to assist inmy recovery.
I observed in this last part of his discourse, which was trulyprophetic, though I suppose my father did not know it to be so himself;I say, I observed the tears run down his face very plentifully, andespecially when he spoke of my brother who was killed; and that when hespoke of my having leisure to repent, and none to assist me, he was somoved, that he broke off the discourse, and told me, his heart was sofull he could say no more to me.
I was sincerely affected with this discourse, as indeed who could beotherwise? and I resolved not to think of going abroad any more, but tosettle at home according to my father's desire. But, alas! a few dayswore it all off; and in short, to prevent any of my father's fartherimportunities, in a few weeks after I resolved to run quite away fromhim. However, I did not act so hastily neither as my first heat ofresolution prompted, but I took my mother, at a time when I thought hera little pleasanter than ordinary, and told her, that my thoughts wereso entirely bent upon seeing the world, that I should never settle toany thing with resolution enough to go through with it, and my fatherhad better give me his consent than force me to go without it; that Iwas now eighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to atrade, or clerk to an attorney; that I was sure, if I did, I shouldnever serve out my time, and I should certainly run away from my masterbefore my time was out, and go to sea; and if she would speak to myfather to let me go one voyage abroad, if I came home again, and did notlike it, I would go no more, and I would promise by a double diligenceto recover that time I had lost.
This put my mother into a great passion: she told me, she knew it wouldbe to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject; that heknew too well what was my interest to give his consent to any such thingso much for my hurt; and that she wondered how I could think of any suchthing after such a discourse as I had had with my father, and such kindand tender expressions as she knew my father had used to me; and that,in short, if I would ruin myself, there was no help for me; but I mightdepend I should never have their consent to it: that for her part shewould not have so much hand in my destruction; and I should never haveit to say, that my mother was willing when my father was not.
Though my mother refused to move it to my father, yet, as I have heardafterwards, she reported all the discourse to him, and that my father,after shewing a great concern at it, said to her with a sigh, "That boymight be happy if he would stay at home; but if he goes abroad, he willbe the most miserable wretch that was ever born; I can give noconsent to it."
It was not till almost a year after this that I broke loose, though, inthe meantime, I continued obstinately deaf to all proposals of settlingto business, and frequently expostulating with my father and motherabout their being so positively determined against what they knew myinclinations prompted me to. But being one day at Hull, where I wentcasually, and without any purpose of making an elopement that time; butI say, being there, and one of my companions being going by sea toLondon, in his father's ship, and prompting me to go with them, with thecommon allurement of seafaring men, viz. that it should cost me nothingfor my passage, I consulted neither father or mother any more, not somuch as sent them word of it; but leaving them to hear of it as theymight, without asking God's blessing, or my father's, without anyconsideration of circumstances or consequences, and in an ill hour, Godknows, on the first of September, 1651, I went on board a ship bound forLondon. Never any young adventurer's misfortunes, I believe, begansooner, or continued longer than mine. The ship was no sooner gotten outof the Humber, but the wind began to blow, and the waves to rise in amost frightful manner; and, as I had never been at sea before, I wasmost inexpressibly sick in body, and terrified in mind. I began nowseriously to reflect upon what I had done, and how justly I wasovertaken by the judgment of Heaven for my wicked leaving my father'shouse, and abandoning my duty; all the good counsel of my parents, myfather's tears and my mother's entreaties, came now fresh into my mind;and my conscience, which was not yet come to the pitch of hardness towhich it has been since, reproached me with the contempt of advice, andthe breach of my duty to God and my father.
All this while the storm increased, and the sea, which I had never beenupon before, went very high, though nothing like what I have seen manytimes since; no, nor like what I saw a few days after: but it was enoughto affect me then, who was but a young sailor, and had never known anything of the matter. I expected every wave would have swallowed us up,and that every time the ship fell down, as I thought, in the trough orhollow of the sea, we should never rise more; and in this agony of mindI made many vows and resolutions, that if it would please God here tospare my life this one voyage, if ever I got once my foot upon dry landagain I would go directly home to my father, and never set it into aship again while I lived; that I would take his advice, and never runmyself into such miseries as these any more. Now I saw plainly thegoodness of his observations about the middle station of life, how easy,how comfortably he had lived all his days, and never had been exposed totempests at sea, or troubles on shore; and I resolved that I would, likea true repenting prodigal, go home to my father.
These wise and sober thoughts continued all the while the stormcontinued, and indeed some time after; but the next day the wind wasabated, and the sea calmer, and I began to be a little inured to it:however, I was very grave for all that day, being also a little sea-sickstill; but towards night the weather cleared up, the wind was quiteover, and a charming fine evening followed; the sun went down perfectlyclear, and rose so the next morning; and having little or no w
ind, and asmooth sea, the sun shining upon it, the sight was, as I thought, themost delightful that ever I saw.
I had slept well in the night, and was now no more sea-sick, but verycheerful, looking with wonder upon the sea that was so rough andterrible the day before, and could be so calm and so pleasant in solittle time after. And now, lest my good resolutions should continue, mycompanion, who had indeed enticed me away, comes to me: "Well, Bob,"says he, (clapping me upon the shoulder) "how do you do after it? Iwarrant you were frighted, wa'n't you, last night, when it blew but acapful of wind?"--"A capful do you call it?" said I; "it was a terriblestorm."--"A storm you fool you," replied he, "do you call that a storm?why it was nothing at all; give us but a good ship and sea-room, and wethink nothing of such a squall of wind as that; but you're but afresh-water sailor, Bob. Come, let us