“I worried you might misunderstand,” Henry said, with a playful backward glance. “But I didn’t worry that much.”
As she followed him to the greenhouse she kept a hand on his note—the bookmark that she had found in his Whitman—which she had brought in the pocket of her cape. She had in fact read it several times on her way over, just to prove to herself that Henry Schoonmaker had asked her to visit, at an hour not suitable to young ladies.
Inside it smelled of dirt and hothouse flowers. It was just as wondrous as it had been on that night a week and a half ago. They walked under giant leaves, past beds of rare blossoms, and at the far end of the building Henry led her through a little door into a small room. The ceiling was glass here as well, though it was low and frosted, and there was a bed covered by a hand-sewn quilt.
“It was the gardener’s room,” Henry explained. “But then he took up with one of Isabelle’s seamstresses, and now they’re married, so he lives in the house. He lets me use it sometimes.”
Diana wondered for a minute what he meant by sometimes and also what he meant by use. But then the beauty of the room took over and commanded her senses. The air was fresh from all the verdure, and the room was lit with simple yellow lamps. There were no candles or incense or champagne, which were always present in seduction scenes in the serials. “It’s lovely here,” she told him. It felt both very civilized and remote at once.
“I didn’t think you’d come, to be honest. I mean, given that the only good thing about me is my greenhouse,” Henry teased her, and Diana was reminded of how different he’d seemed when she had furiously uttered that phrase. “I thought you’d want to come, but—”
“But you didn’t think I’d find a way? I’m a crafty girl, Henry.” She gave him a wink, and he smiled in return. Neither of them could seem to stop smiling. She pushed the hood of her cape back now and waited for him to take it off. He did, after a minute, unbuttoning it at the neck first and then lower down, until she was standing there in the simple dotted navy batiste dress that she had chosen so that, if she were caught, she wouldn’t look like she was going anywhere.
“I’m glad you are.” He gazed at her appreciatively until she began to blush. He put his fingers to the neckline of the dress, where the little white buttons began. She felt her blood rush to that tender spot.
“I didn’t want to be nicely dressed in case of—”
Henry stopped her with a long kiss on the mouth. His arms reached around her and brought her close, so that her body was pressed against his. She was exquisitely aware of the pressure of his palm against her back. The kiss was moist and it had its own rhythm and it lasted and lasted. She feared the flutters it was giving her might be too much for her untried little heart. When he pulled back, she saw that Henry was grinning, but there was a new softness to the curl in his lips.
He took the top button between his fingers and twisted it. Diana felt her chest rise and fall, and then he pushed the button out of its loop. He unbuttoned the next one and the next, all the way down her torso. The bodice of her dress fell around her waist revealing the sheer, ruched chemise below. She pressed her lips together in the hope that that would calm her restless breathing. Henry kept his eyes on her as he pushed the dress off her waist. It fell to her ankles, and she was left standing, in the middle of a greenhouse, in nothing but her underclothes.
She tilted back her head and let a sparkle cross her dewy, dark eyes. “So you lured me here to ruin me?” Her voice seemed to have grown husky in a matter of seconds.
Henry kissed her neck, on the opposite side from where he had yesterday, and then loosened his grip on her. “No, I promise I won’t do that,” he said. Diana tried not to look disappointed as he fell back on the bed and folded his arms behind his head to make a pillow. He was wearing a pale yellow button-down shirt, and he looked long and slender against the bed. “I lured you here so that you could ask me all those questions you tried to ask me the first time we met. Any question at all, and I swear to answer honestly.”
Henry gave her one of those winks that made her heart slow and warm again, and she felt relieved, just a little bit, that she wouldn’t have to do that thing she was always thinking about. Not yet, anyway. “Anything?” she asked, sitting down on the bed next to him.
“Anything you want.” He reached over to the bedside table, pulled a cigarette from the small gold case there, and lit it.
She took Henry’s cigarette from him, dragged on it, and then handed it back. Her eyes wandered up to the ceiling as she exhaled, and glittered when they fell back on him. “All right…if it’s really anything…then tell me what you think of me.”
Henry chuckled and took a thoughtful drag. “I think that you are the most naturally lovely girl I have ever seen. When you get that mischievous look about you, I want to know exactly what is going through your head, and then I want to plot something devious with you. I like the funny little way you walk and the way you seem always to be too big for the room you are in.” Diana took a deep breath of warm, earthy air to slow her breathing. “To put it succinctly, Miss Diana”—he took her hand and kissed it—“you are more alive than anyone I know.”
Diana bit her lower lip and felt the blood rising to her cheeks. “I like this game,” she whispered.
“I could go on complimenting you all night, but you’d get bored of it quickly. Ask me another one.”
“Have you really broken as many hearts as they say?” Diana was conscious of the strap of her chemise slipping down her white shoulder, but she didn’t do anything to stop it.
“I have broken hearts, but not nearly as many as they say.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Yes,” Henry said firmly, looking almost pained. “Once.”
“Who was she?”
“Now here is where you must promise not to repeat what I am about to tell you.”
Diana took in an excited breath, and then lay down, so that she was on her side facing Henry, her head propped against her fist. “I promise.”
“She was a daughter of New York like you, and her maiden name was Paulette Riggs, but when I knew her she was already Lady Deerfield.”
“Paulette Riggs! She’s nearly thirty,” Diana couldn’t help but exclaim. “And married to a lord.”
“I know.” Henry laughed wistfully. He lifted his hand and maneuvered it deftly under her chemise to the rise of Diana’s thigh. “But I was eighteen and she was the most worldly thing I had ever seen. She spent that season in Newport, because her father was ill that year, and Lord Deerfield went off on so many hunting trips that I suppose she got lonely.”
“How did it end?”
“Badly.” Henry sighed, and let his fingertips press into the flesh of her leg. “She just tired of me after a while, and I of course kept on writing her letters and trying to arrange meetings like a real ass.”
“Do you ever miss her?” Diana was a little frightened to know that this woman, who she remembered as having very white skin and very red lips and carrying herself like royalty, had once been Henry’s lover. But of course she still wanted to know everything about it.
“Not anymore. Seems like a long time ago, now. She had a way of looking at me, with those moody eyes…sort of like you, actually. But no. I stopped missing her a good while ago now.”
“And she was the only one you have ever been in love with?”
Henry nodded, and drew his hand back and forth along Diana’s thigh.
“How many have you…loved?” Diana fixed her eyes on him, even through her embarrassment. He seemed to be smiling faintly at her lack of vocabulary.
Henry paused, whether to count or to reconsider his promise to answer anything she wasn’t sure. “Five,” he said at last.
“Were they all married to English lords?”
“No! Nor were they all well-brought-up girls like you. But I had good times with each of them.”
“And who was the last girl to be loved by Henry Schoonmaker?”
Henry shi
fted, bringing himself up to rest on his elbows and bringing his hand away from her thigh. He met Diana’s face, and he worked his lips in agitation.
“You said anything!” she exclaimed, and wondered whose name could give him such pause.
He would not meet Diana’s eyes as he pronounced a name she knew quite well. “Penelope Hayes.”
“No…” Diana wasn’t sure whether to admonish him or giggle. “She must have been angry about…” Diana trailed off, realizing that she wasn’t ready to bring up Elizabeth just yet. Henry rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh of agreement. “No wonder she’s been acting so bizarre lately. And you…you…her.”
Henry grabbed onto Diana’s thigh again, this time with a firm grip. She was very close to Henry now, and she could feel the slightest movements of his body.
“She’s one to…well, she’s more savage than I thought she was at first.”
“Oh.” Diana could feel the conversation growing heavier, and she didn’t mind. She wished she had a way to tell him that she liked being serious with him, too. “Well,” she said, “I guess I know all about you now.”
“But I don’t want to be like that anymore.” Henry paused and fidgeted with the buttons of his shirt. His voice had grown low and self-reproaching. “Careless, I mean, with people’s hearts. I don’t want you to think that this was all some kind of game. You told me not to treat you like a toy once. I don’t want you to think that I’ve been playing with you.”
“That’s why you asked me here?” She pushed herself up farther with her elbow, and kept her shining eyes on him. “To clear that up?”
“Yes. Well, that and…When I marry your sister, I can’t go on…” Henry looked down, and moved his hand along to where her hip sloped into the small of her waist.
Diana nodded. “You have to marry her, don’t you?”
“Yes…. Well, it’s that…”
“I understand.” Diana had been thinking of her sister’s reasons for marrying, and suspected that there must be some similar force driving Henry. “And I don’t want to know why.” There was a sadness gripping at her, but she felt the need to be the one who said what she was sure they were both thinking.
“This will have to be the only time we are together.”
He raised his eyes to hers again after a moment and nodded. He reached up and put his hand on the back of her head, bringing her face closer to his. She examined his dark prettiness with intense eyes, so that she could commit it to memory and have it always. Outside, a gust picked up, blowing the trees noisily against the roof—a storm must be coming—but still he held her gaze. Then he kissed her with a hungry intensity that made her want to weep.
“Now, if I promise to leave you as pure and perfect as you are now, will you stay the night with me?”
Diana nodded and gave him a reckless smile, which he returned.
“Excellent, because there is a question or two I want to ask about you.”
And with that, she let down what was left of her guard and gave herself over to Henry’s knowing gaze and unfailing charm.
Forty
The most important thing for any bride, even if she is gifted with all the loveliness that good family and impeccable upbringing guarantee, is rest. She must be always resting, or nerves will get the better of her, and then on her wedding day she will look like a girl who has already known too much of the world.
––L. A. M. BRECKINRIDGE, THE LAWS OF BEING IN WELL-MANNERED CIRCLES
THAT NIGHT ELIZABETH DREAMED SHE WAS IN a faraway part of the country with Will, where there were hills between houses and no one had a favorite Paris dressmaker. Then she dreamed that she was done up in white, with an elaborate and ridiculous point de gaze collar, and Penelope was laughing at her sadistically and throwing poisoned rice in her direction. But mostly she stared at the ceiling and wished that she were not so constantly awake. She had barely slept on Monday night, and now it looked like Tuesday night wasn’t going to give her any rest either.
There wasn’t even much to think about, because her options were so few and unattractive. She had been raised to please others—please them with her looks, her comportment, and her deeds—but now she could do nothing but be selfish. If she pleased her mother, she would be exposed as a wanton who had betrayed her class. And if she pleased Penelope—who had revealed herself to be the most duplicitous sort of friend, anyway—then she would be cast out from the only home and way of life she had ever known. And if she pleased herself…well, it was too late for that.
When she had finally had enough of staring at the ceiling, she pushed herself up and went to her closet. She took out her white kimono and tied it around her small body. The whole day had been spent at the dressmaker’s. There was the wedding gown to be made, and the dress for the reception afterward, and so many little things for her trousseau. She had stood up straight and erect all day and listened to herself talked about as though she wasn’t in the room.
The worst of it was, she had been alone. She had often imagined herself as a bride when she was young, and in all kinds of settings. As a bride in a simple wedding, with gerbera daisies in her hands; as a bride in a lavish event that got written up in the papers, where she would wear a long train decorated with tiny silk roses that flowed behind her all down the church steps. But she had always imagined that the part about the dress would be fun. In reality, she had spent the whole day playing mannequin for a small fleet of seamstresses petrified of her disapproval. She was left feeling nothing but sore and isolated, and was driven home by Mr. Faber instead of Will, who once upon a time would have been waiting for her with the carriage when she finished such an errand. Of course Penelope hadn’t been there. But Diana—there was no reason for Diana not to have come and help her determine whether she looked beautiful or ridiculous—but she had shrugged off the task as well, preferring instead to remain in her room, reading and moping about who knew what.
Elizabeth walked across her bedroom, growing almost angry as she thought about Diana’s absence. After all, Elizabeth was sacrificing her own happiness for the sake of her family. She was renouncing her own wishes, so that the Holland women would not fall. And Diana could not even be bothered to take her nose out of her book for one day.
Elizabeth threw open her door and marched down the hall. She raised her fist to knock on Diana’s door, but then admonished herself. It wasn’t Diana’s fault that her older sister had fallen in love with the wrong person, and continued to love him even when she knew it would only lead to trouble. It wasn’t her fault that their family was so badly off financially. Elizabeth rested her hand against the door and took a breath. Then she knocked in a gentle, sisterly way.
“Di?” she called. She looked down the hall to where their mother slept, and hoped that she wouldn’t come to see what the matter was. Since yesterday morning, Elizabeth had felt a great distance open up between her mother and herself. She had nothing left to say to the old woman. “Di?” Elizabeth called again. When she didn’t answer a second time, Elizabeth pushed into the room.
It took her a few moments to realize that the room was empty. Of Diana, anyway. There were dresses thrown across the bed and floor, and shoes turned at all varieties of angles. Lillie Langtry gave her a hazy look and crossed her paws.
Elizabeth began distractedly looking through the closet and behind the chairs. She checked the high windows onto the balcony—they were jammed closed but unlocked. She was about to go downstairs to see if Diana had gone there to search for a book or a glass of milk, when she noticed a hatbox protruding from under the bed. The gold lid was askew, and Elizabeth saw from across the room a dark brown bowler. It was just like any bowler, but it brought her back instantly to a day two weeks ago when her world began to disintegrate.
She remained transfixed by the hat as she walked across the room. Lillie Langtry gave a little meow, and trotted along beside Elizabeth before walking in a quick circle around the box and flopping down next to it. When Elizabeth picked up the h
at the first thing she noticed was the gold embroidery on the pale blue ribbon that ran around the inside of the brim: HWS.
She sat down heavily on the chenille bedspread, looking into the hatbox as she did. There were two scraps of paper lying there, against the charcoal velvet. She had to force herself to pick them up and read each of the notes that Henry had written to her sister. They were signed simply HS, but she had no doubt to whom the initials referred. She couldn’t be sure when he had sent Diana the missive telling her to keep his hat, or the one that indicated he couldn’t stop thinking about her. But his intentions were clear, and Diana’s absence from her room at that hour spoke well enough for hers.
A cold shock was settling into the muscles of Elizabeth’s face. She lay back and brought her knees to her chest, and twirled the bowler on her finger distractedly. Lillie Langtry stood, stretched, walked around Elizabeth, and then settled on the pillow beside her head. Elizabeth put down the hat and sighed. She might have laughed if she had been the kind of girl to find humor in perversity, but this horrible evidence of her sister’s corruption was not in the least funny to her.
Elizabeth’s mind was seized by a cool fury, as she realized something else: that her predicament with Penelope was at least half Henry’s fault. Whatever his involvement with Penelope, it had surely inspired some of her vengeful actions. Now he was no doubt out somewhere in the city seducing naïve little Diana. And after all of that, on a day not so far in the future, he still expected Elizabeth to be his wife.
She got up from the bed as though she had some purpose, but there was nothing to do but gather the clothes strewn about Diana’s room. The angry, desperate feeling grew inside her with every passing moment as she put away all the many dresses that her younger sister had considered wearing to her misbegotten tryst.
Forty One
For my True Bride.
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” DIANA SAID, GLOWING with joy as she turned the lapis-encrusted cross with the inscription on the back. She ran her fingers along the letters, longing for a way to be his real bride instead. But she already knew that could not be. Since they had left the greenhouse, every moment with Henry felt imbued with its own rare luster. The sounds of the city on its way to work were just outside their carriage, but they might as well have been coming from across the river.