“You and Cheyenne going to be seeing each other?” she asks, her voice small.
“No, I just told her I’d give her a turn on the bike, Tom Cat.”
She shrugs, and that fuckin’ hurts more than she’ll ever know.
“It’s fine, you can do whatever you want. If you want to see her, that’s cool with me. I don’t care.”
Jesus. Could she fuckin’ rip my heart out anymore?
“That what’s wrong with you lately?” I ask.
“No,” she says, softly. “I’m fine.”
She’s lying. Fuck. I want to reach out and shake her, tell her that I fuckin’ want her, but there ain’t no point. If she wanted to tell me she had feelings, she would have done it by now.
“You want me to pick you up?”
She nods. “Yeah, if you’re not busy with Cheyenne.”
“Tom Cat, I’m never goin’ to leave you alone for anyone.”
She forces that fake smile again. “Later then, Danny.”
“Later, babe.”
Then she’s gone.
Fuck.
Why do I get the feeling I’m losing her?
CHAPTER 7
PRESENT - SPIKE
“Hey friend!”
I roll my eyes as I hear Addison’s voice. I just stepped into the bar and there she is, dark hair waving about as she bounds over to me like an excited puppy. I swear to god, this girl would get under anyone’s skin - she’s kind of addictive. I don’t smile at her, though on the inside I do. She stops in front of me, flashing me a beaming smile as she looks up, swiping a piece of stray hair from her face.
“You know you’re somewhat like an annoying dog, precious?”
I don’t call anyone precious, yet it seems to fit her well. She chuckles, and hooks her arm through mine.
“In a happy mood again I see?”
“Aren’t I always?”
“You here to see Ciara?”
I stiffen and she stops, turning to look up at me. Devious little shit. She wanted that reaction.
“Hit a nerve?” she smirks.
I lean in close, gripping her shoulders. “Remember what I said about dancin’ with wolves girl?”
“Yeah, I know, they bite and all that bullshit.”
Fuckin’ smart ass.
“Don’t put your friend in my world, precious. You know it ain’t for her.”
“What I know,” she says, spinning and waving down the bar attendant, “is that you aren’t being very nice to her, and if you don’t want her in your world, you’re going the wrong way about it. Don’t you know us women love a challenge?”
I grunt. “Fuckin’ know it all right. Where’s your old man? I’m surprised he let you out.”
She laughs loudly, throwing her head back. “Yeah, well, he doesn’t own me you know?”
“Does fuckin’ so.”
She spins around, glaring at me. “What is with you over-possessive bikers?”
“What is with you stubborn ass women?”
She narrows her eyes and turns again, ordering two beers. When she’s got them in her hands, she nods towards the booth.
Well fuck, I’m not escaping her anytime soon. Funny, ‘cause part of me kind of doesn’t want to. Fuck, I’m turning into a pussy.
We sit down, and she slides a beer across the table at me. I grip it, take a big sip, and then put it down, staring right into her eyes.
“What’s with you tryin’ to push Ciara onto me?”
“What’s with you being such a fucking jerk-off about it?”
I feel my lips twitch. “You need to let it go, yeah?”
“Why? Because you’re being a jerk due to the fact that you care about her, or because you don’t care about her?”
Fuckin’ women.
“My answer to that doesn’t change the fact that she’s no good for me.”
“Why, because of what happened with Cheyenne?”
I flinch. She continues.
“Because I imagine you don’t plan on spending the rest of your life alone. If you do, that’s a sad and long life you’re going to have.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Your point, precious?”
“My point is that she cares about you, a lot. She’s a good person, and she could be good for you, if you stopped treating her like an ass.”
“That’s the problem,” I growl. “She’s too good for me.”
Addison raises her brows, and I curse inwardly. Well fuck, I just openly admitted to Addison, and a little to myself, that I don’t hate Ciara and that it goes far deeper than I am willing to let on.
“Who says she’s too good for you? You, or her? Because I can guarantee it doesn’t matter to her what you are.”
“Well it should!” I snap.
“You don’t have to make the same mistakes again, Spike. You can be good to her.”
“No, I fuckin’ can’t. Now fuckin’ drop it Addison, or I’ll get up and walk out.”
She sighs deeply, but puts up her hands. “Fine, we’ll drop it.”
“Good.”
We’re both silent a moment, before her face brightens again and she leans forward. “You wanna do Karaoke with me?”
I raise my brows. “You fuckin’ serious?”
“Oh yeah, come on, it will be fun.”
“I’m a biker,” I point out. “We don’t fuckin’ sing.”
She huffs and crosses her arms. “Do you ever smile?”
“Not much.”
“Well, I’ll make you smile.”
I raise one brow at her, and she flashes me yet another grin before taking a big sip of her beer. Then her eyes move to the corner of the room, and she brightens. She lifts her hand, waving and calling out, “Ciara!” Well fuck. I thought Ciara wasn’t on tonight. Mother. Fucker.
“Hey Addi.”
I hear Ciara’s voice behind me, and my entire body stiffens. I can’t sit here and be an absolute ass, I have to turn. So, I slowly do.
When my eyes settle on her, I want to hiss in anger. I fuckin’ hate the outfits these girls dress in. More, I hate it on her because she can fuckin’ rock it, and half the bar notices. Her long blonde hair is cascading down around her shoulders, and her yellow eyes fuckin’ pull at my heartstrings. She places a hand on her flat, smooth belly and smiles over at Addison.
“I thought you weren’t working?” Addi says.
“I wasn’t meant to be, but Jenny called in sick.”
“Aw, that sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“Spike, are you going to say hello?” Addison says, smirking at me.
I shoot her a truly disgusted glare, and then I look up at Ciara. “Hey.”
“Hey Danny.”
Fuck it. She knows it gets to me when she calls me Danny. She’s the only person in the world who would still call me that, and it burns every time she does.
“Well, I’m going to get another beer,” I say, standing.
“I’ll get it for you,” Ciara says, turning and walking towards the bar.
I flop back down onto my ass and watch her leave. That skirt really is too fuckin’ short. Jesus. It puts me into a place I haven’t been for a long time. It makes me want to smash every fucker that looks her way. I turn to Addison again, and she’s smiling over at me.
“She has a nice ass, right?”
“Shut the fuck up Addison.”
She bursts out laughing.
Fuck.
This is going to be a long night.
~*~*~*~*~
PRESENT - CIARA
His eyes are on me. Everywhere I go, they are on me. I can feel them burning into my back when I’m not facing him, and when I am they’re all over me, piercing into me, saying so much, showing so much. I want him. I’m sick of denying everything that’s raging between us. I hurt him. I know I did, but I’m beyond trying to figure out how I can fix him. I’m so tired of fighting.
I grip another round of drinks and walk them over to a table of young men. I can hear Addi’s booming l
augh across the bar, and I can’t help but smile. I’m glad to see her and Spike getting along. I’ve even seen him crack a smile once or twice. He needs someone like her in his life, someone to just tell him how it is and take no shit.
“Hey there princess.”
I spin around to see Muff leaning against the counter, grinning over at me. I smile, unable to stop myself.
“Hey Muff,” I say, walking around the side of the bar and pulling out a beer. I toss it to him, and he catches it.
“Busy night?”
“You know, the usual.”
“Saw your boy starin’ at you. Still hasn’t given in I see?”
I chuckle softly. “He’s not my boy, and no, he’s as stubborn as they come.”
“You’re tellin’ me.”
“What brings you to this fine bar tonight, anyway? I haven’t seen you for a few days?”
He cracks open the beer and takes a long swig before putting it down onto the counter. “I came here to see a fine bar bitch...”
I roll my eyes at him. “Most girls would be offended by that statement, but coming from you, Muff, I think I’m flattered.”
He throws his head back and laughs, causing Spike to turn in his chair and stare over at us. His eyes narrow, and I give him a quick glance, before turning back to Muff.
“You wanna know a secret, princess?” Muff says, leaning close.
“I do.”
“Come closer.”
I giggle. “That’s kind of creepy. You’re not going to kiss me are you?”
He gives me a lazy half-smile. “Would it be so bad if I did?”
“No, of course not.”
I lean in and he tilts his head so his mouth is near my ear. “Prez told me to back down.”
“Back down?”
“He told me to stay ‘the fuck’ away from you.”
Spike said that? This surprises me. Maybe it’s just the lifestyle he doesn’t want me in, or maybe it’s for his own benefit. Either way, it sends shivers up my spine. Good shivers.
“He did?”
“Oh, he did. Told me if he ever sees my lips on you again, he’ll cut my dick off and feed it to me.”
I raise my brows and Muff pulls back, grinning. “So go on, princess. You play him. Make it burn.”
“You’re a bad man, Muff.”
He chuckles and lifts his beer. “Thrills me bein’ bad. I’m goin’ to play some pool. Check you later, little lady.”
“Later Muff.”
When he’s gone, I can’t help but swing my eyes to Spike. He’s not sitting any longer, and Addi is walking over to me, a massive grin on her face. I smile back at her, wondering where Spike has disappeared to. She stops at the bar, leaning over it and placing her head in her hands.
“So, how’s your night?”
I grin at her, cheeky shit. “I’m sure it’s as thrilling as yours.”
She winks at me, brushing a piece of long, dark hair from her eyes. “Oh, mine is totally thrilling. Spike’s a hoot when he’s drunk.”
“Where’d he go?”
“No idea. Outside for a smoke? He’s trying to ditch me. He’ll never learn. I am totally not going anywhere.”
I laugh. “You’re like the creepy stalker friend.”
“That’s me, baby. Anyway, I do have to go.”
I pout at her. “That sucks. I was going to have a drink with you after my shift.”
“Aw, well how about you come around tomorrow? We’ll have some drinks at Cade’s place.”
“Sounds good.”
She leans over the bar and gives me a quick hug, before turning and skipping out of the bar. That girl has far too much energy. I couldn’t keep up with her if I tried.
When she disappears out of the door, I turn and check the alcohol stock levels. We need a few more bottles so I yell out to Joe that I’m going to grab some.
I walk out back and down the hall, but I stop dead in my tracks when I see Spike standing and staring into the function room. He’s just standing there, his eyes fixed on something, his body rigid. I walk over slowly, curiosity burning. I step up quietly and peer in the room. My body freezes.
There’s a couple against the wall, kissing and touching. A man, with broad shoulders and long dark hair, is kissing a tiny blonde girl. His hand is cupping her breast, and her fingers are gliding up and down his backside. My eyes widen, and part of me feels so completely wrong standing here watching them. My fascination, however, is with Spike. He’s breathing deeply, and is so transfixed he doesn’t even realize I’m beside him yet. I know Spike likes to watch, but seeing the way his body is coming alive has mine doing the same thing. It’s erotic, watching him grow hot and hard. I feel tingles break out along my skin, and my pussy begins to throb. God, why am I finding this as much of a turn on as he is? Could it just be because he’s here?
“Jesus,” I mutter, when the man slides his fingers down the girl’s pants and she throws her head back, groaning.
Spike jerks and turns his gaze to me, but I keep my eyes on the couple. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but damn, it’s doing things to my body that I’ve never felt before. I’m coming alive. My body is shuddering, my pussy becoming wet and ready, and my nipples are so hard they ache. Slowly, I turn my eyes to Spike, who’s watching me with a look I can’t quite put my finger on. Is that awe? Perhaps it’s even shock. Spike probably never thought something like this would arouse me. Heck, I never thought something like this would arouse me, but here I am, wishing he would take me up against this wall and fuck me so hard I stop breathing.
“You’re not turned off?” he says, his voice raspy and husky.
“Surprisingly, no. Quite the opposite actually,” I breathe.
“You changed.”
It’s a simple statement, but it’s completely true. Once upon a time, I would have found this completely wrong. Now, I can’t turn myself away.
“I guess I did.”
He makes a hissing sound when the man drops to his knees, lifting the girl’s foot and placing it on his shoulder. Then his face is in her pussy, tongue sliding over her clit. Shit. I need to walk away. Like, now. All this sexual tension makes me need to pee. Odd, I know but my lower half is in uproar right now.
“I need to relieve myself,” I whisper, turning away.
Spike turns to me, his expression completely shocked. It takes me a moment to realize what I said sounds very...well...wrong.
“No,” I laugh nervously. “I meant I need to pee.”
“Right,” he says, shaking the shock from his body.
As I go to turn, reality hits me hard. Spike and I just spoke without argument, and better, we found common ground. For a moment, just for a small moment, we weren’t tearing each other’s heads off. Deciding to risk it, I turn back to Spike and meet his heated gaze.
“Hey Spike?”
His eyes scan my face before he rasps, “Yeah?”
“Do you want to have a drink with me?”
His brows shoot up, and that shock returns to his face. For a moment he looks like he might not answer. I know he’s already had a fair bit to drink, and maybe that’s why it’s different, but he surprises me by saying, “Yeah, Tom Cat. That’ll be sweet.”
I nod at him, and then turn and walk to the toilets. Once I’m in, I lean against the door and take a deep, shaky breath. This could be it for us; this moment could be the one that changes everything. I can’t stuff it up. If anything, I want the chance to slowly recreate our friendship. We both deserve that much.
I quickly relieve myself, and give my face a wash before heading back out to the bar. Spike’s sitting at it, so I walk over and open a beer, handing it to him. He grins at me. It’s not a full grin, but it’s so god damned beautiful it takes my breath away.
“I’m just about finished,” I say. “Do you mind hanging for a few?”
Spike shakes his head. “Nah, all good.”
For a moment, that awkward silence just hangs around. I don’t really know what to tal
k about. What can I say that won’t start an argument? I can’t speak about my sister, I can’t speak about the club and I can’t speak about the past. Dammit, why do things always have to be so complicated? Why can’t we just have that easygoing, fun, light friendship we used to have? Maybe I’m trying too hard. Perhaps the trick is to just stop trying.
“How long you plannin’ on stayin’ here?”
I’m shocked by Spike’s question, and even more shocked he spoke first.
“Here, as in this town?”
He nods, sipping his beer and letting those gorgeous eyes scan my face, looking for a reaction.
“Until I have enough money to go to college.”
He tilts his head to the side, still studying me closely. “Never knew you wanted to study, Tom Cat.”
God I love it when he calls me that. It sends warmth right through my body.
“I do, I was always planning on going but...”
“But Cheyenne died and you ran off, making your parents cut your trust fund.”
I swallow and nod. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Ain’t a bad thing to have to work for what you want. Makes it that much better in the end.”
I nod, picking up a glass and drying it. “You’re right about that.”
“Do you still talk to them?”
I shake my head, swallowing again. “No, I haven’t for months.”
“Is that ‘cause of me?”
“It’s not just you, Spike, it’s everything. It’s how they treated me long before you came into the picture.”
“They never did treat you the same as her, did they?”
I meet his gaze, and for a moment I see pure compassion in those brown depths. Did Spike see all the times my parents favored her over me?
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t as smart as Cheyenne. I didn’t have the looks. I didn’t have the personality. She was their angel, I was the accident.”