Strong arms holding her, peace, a feeling of supreme contentment.
The memory came out of nowhere, colliding with his words and bringing bewilderment in its wake. “I see nothing to fear in you. In spite of what Sebastian said, I’m no Lilith who bewitches a man. I’m not even as comely as Carolyn. And if I do not please you, you will not bother me.”
“No?” He smiled. “Don’t be too sure. I can be more lewd than your Sebastian ever dreamed, and I indulge my passions as I see fit.” He looked down at his lower body. “And I clearly do find you pleasing.”
Her gaze followed his to that part of him at which she had avoided glancing. Her eyes widened as she saw the hard, bold arousal springing from the nest of dark hair.
Scorching heat flew back to her cheeks. Her chest tightened until she could scarcely draw a breath.
“You see?” He strolled over to stand in front of her. “Lustful heathen that I am, it takes little to please me. But I find much about you that draws me.” He reached out and touched her hair. “Soft and glossy and of a fine length. Unbound it comes down past your waist.” He draped a strand over the blanket that covered the curve of her breast. “When you were naked last night, it veiled you. But veils are meant to be pushed aside.”
The soft weight of her hair felt heavy against her breasts, and she realized with astonishment that her nipples were hardening, peaking, pushing against the wool of the blanket.
“And your mouth pleases me.” His voice was soft, thick, and she stared up at his face, mesmerized. Plum-rich color now darkened his cheeks, and his nostrils were flaring slightly. “It has a certain look to it.…” His index finger traced the full curve of her lower lip. “Open.”
She didn’t obey him. She felt frozen—no, that was too cold a term for what she was feeling, for the heat moving through her. She was … beguiled. She could do nothing but stare up at him, waiting for the next word, the next touch.
His finger slipped between her closed lips to touch her tongue. “Wonderful mouth,” he murmured. “It looks as if it were created to accept … anything.” He gently, rhythmically stroked her cheeks with the thumb and forefinger of his other hand, forming a coaxing circle about her mouth. “Will it?”
His finger was callused, hard, faintly salty against her tongue. His words were bewildering and seemed to come from far away. Aware only of those dark, glittering eyes holding her own and the textures of that intruding finger, she wasn’t certain of the moment when her mouth closed around him, holding him captive.
He jerked as if she had struck him, and a shudder went through him. “Aye,” he said thickly. “It most certainly will.” He looked down at her, his chest rising and falling with his labored breathing. “But at the moment I could have wished you hadn’t done it.” He slid his finger from her mouth and took a step back. “I’m sure the memory is going to bother me exceedingly while we’re on the road today.”
Reality returned the instant he was no longer touching her. “Why did you—”
“Because I wanted to,” he interrupted. The mocking smile was back. “I always do what I want to do.”
That wasn’t true, she thought. No one could have such an air of disciplined power and be that recklessly self-indulgent.
“But I’ll be damned if I prove your Sebastian right after all those painful hours of knightly restraint I went through. I can wait.” He started to dress with movements that were jerky. “Though not long. And, dammit, not at all if you insist on wriggling naked on my lap.”
She drew a shaky breath. “I was not myself. And it is not courteous of you to remind me of it.”
His mocking smile faded. “You’re right. I wasn’t fair. God knows, it’s bad enough to be accountable for our actions when we’re in control of our senses.”
His reaction surprised her. She had judged him to be far more self-willed and arrogant than Sebastian, and yet he had admitted to fault, which Sebastian would never have done.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked impatiently.
“Sebastian believes that people are accountable for their sins every moment, whether waking or sleeping.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” He turned to face her. “Which doesn’t make it true.”
“But sometimes when someone says something over and over, it seems like the truth.” She moistened her lips. “Everything fades together, and it gets harder to remember which is the truth and which is a lie.”
His expression became arrested. “I know.”
He did know. She had thought them so different, but there was no doubt in her mind that he knew exactly what she meant. She abruptly remembered the scars on his back. Had there been a Sebastian in his life? she wondered.
He turned away and put on his doublet. “And when that happens, you just fight harder.”
She nodded. How odd it was to sit here and watch a man clothe himself. Odd and yet just as strangely familiar.
“I’m no Sebastian Landfield.” He didn’t look at her as he sat down on the bed and pulled on his left boot. “You will not find me a gentle man, but I will be fair with you. I realize you do not wish to be caught in this coil any more than I do. Submit to my will, cause me no problems, and you will lead a comfortable, untroubled life for the next year.”
“And afterward?”
“Afterward you will not be my concern.” He pulled on his other boot. “You will be free to do as you wish.”
“Free?” she asked, startled.
“I will give you a small allowance until you marry again. I would advise you to leave Scotland. The danger will be less if you’re out of James’s reach. Perhaps France would be a good choice.”
It suddenly dawned on her that he was talking as if she were menaced. But that realization made little impact compared to what he’d said earlier. “I will truly be free to do as I wish?”
“Did I not say it?”
“You’ll never send me back to Sebastian?”
He stood up. “Whatever happens, you will never have to see Landfield again.”
She doubted if that was true; Sebastian would not relinquish her easily. But just Robert’s avowal that he would never give her up to him was like a heavy stone removed from around her neck.
“You promise?” She waved an impatient hand. “Oh, not about Sebastian. I can deal with him. But you’ll set me free? Truly?”
His face softened as he saw the eagerness in her expression. “By the Saints, do I perceive something besides distrust? Be good, obey me, and cause me no worry this next year, and you’ll be free to do as you wish.”
It seemed too much to believe. Excitement soared through her. If he was willing to give her so much for peace of mind, perhaps she could win something even more precious from this distasteful marriage. “What you wish is not impossible,” she said cautiously. “But you do realize I could cause you a great deal of trouble if I chose? Sebastian found me most unsettling.”
His gaze narrowed on her face. “What are you trying to say?”
She paused, then said in a rush, “A house. I want a house.”
“Indeed?”
“Only a small house, but it must be built of good, strong stone.”
“Like Sebastian’s cottage?”
“I will see that it bears little resemblance to anything that belongs to him, but it must be of stone.” She added, “And it will have to have enough ground for a garden. Every home should have a garden.”
“And you refuse to promise your cooperation without this piece of property?” he asked silkily. “I have no liking for greed, Kate.”
“It’s not greed to demand compensation for services given.” She glared at him. “I’m not asking for a palace, only a house. Something of my own.”
He studied her expression. “This means a good deal to you. Why?”
“I’ve not been so sheltered that I haven’t found that property is everything in this world,” she said evasively.
“But that isn’t why you want this house, is it??
??
She did not want to answer him. This desire was secret and innately her own. She did not wish to share it. “It’s not your concern.”
“It is if I’m being forced to give it to you.”
He would not let it pass, she realized with frustration. “I want a place of my own,” she said baldly. “A special place that’s mine alone, a place that no one can take away from me. There, I’ve said it. Are you satisfied?”
“For the time being.”
“And you’ll give it to me?”
His thoughtful gaze was still on her face, as if he were waiting for something. He nodded. “I’ll give you your house.”
“A stone house?”
He nodded again.
Relief and joy streamed through her. She smiled brilliantly. “I … thank you.”
“You can smile. I was wondering.” He smiled faintly himself. “I had every intention of providing you with a residence, you know. It would not have been suitable to do anything else.”
Her smile vanished. “Then you should have told me so at once.”
“But then I would have lost the opportunity to see you with your wall of thorns down. It was most interesting.”
“I do not like to be considered interesting.” She added sharply, “And I do not like to be probed and prodded. You would not like it, if I did it to you.”
“No, I wouldn’t, but that’s one of the sweet prerogatives of power.” He opened the door. “Get dressed and be downstairs in fifteen minutes. At this rate we’ll be lucky if we get on the road before dark.”
She felt feather light, sun bright, as she tossed the blanket aside when the door closed behind him. Now that he was gone, she could permit her exhilaration to spring free. No one was here to see or take this happiness away. She felt as she had during those magical childhood moments when she and Carolyn had been able to forget everything but the joy of being alive, when every day was a new adventure. Complete freedom was not hers yet, but it beckoned on the horizon, and life with Robert MacDarren could not be as terrible as living with Sebastian Landfield.
True, it appeared he might make demands on her person that the vicar would never have thought about, but she could bear that for a year. She felt that strange heat move through her again as she recalled the instant when his finger had stroked her lip.
It was not lust, she quickly assured herself. She was not shameless. She had been caught by surprise, and her response had been—She was not what Sebastian called her. She would not think about it and let it spoil this moment.
It was the earl’s right as her husband to couple with her, but the next time he touched her, she was sure she would show the proper restraint when enduring his fondling. He did not appear to be a cruel man, and if time proved her wrong, she could always run away from him as she had from Sebastian.
She experienced a flicker of uneasiness as she remembered how relentless Robert had been when tracking her down. He did not possess Sebastian’s fanaticism, but his quiet determination might make him even more difficult to elude.
Well, she would not worry about that now. For the first time in years she felt eager and hopeful and … and young. She would enjoy it while it lasted.
“It’s about time.” Gavin nibbled at a slice of beef as Robert came into the common room. “You’ve missed breakfast. Would you care for dinner?”
“No.” He glanced at the apple and beef on Gavin’s plate before turning to Carolyn, who was serving Gavin. “But take up some of that fruit to my wife.”
“At once, my lord.” She hesitated. “She is better this morning?”
“Much better.”
Carolyn smiled in relief and hurried from the room.
Robert pulled on his leather riding gloves and turned back to Gavin. “What kind of night did you have? Did your wound bother you?”
Gavin shook his head as he finished the beef on his plate. “I slept well.” He grinned. “And you certainly gave me plenty of time to rest. I was wondering if you were going to stir before evening.”
“So was I. The girl was exhausted.”
“And of course you had to pamper the child.”
“Why the devil do you keep calling her a child?” As he saw Gavin’s smile of satisfaction, Robert tempered the violence in his tone. “And I didn’t pamper her. Every commander knows that to push a soldier when he’s exhausted is to court trouble.”
“Hmm.” Gavin popped a slice of apple into his mouth. “And here I was, sitting here imagining you in the toils of Cupid. Oh, I know she was exhausted last night, but you had all morning to consummate the happy nuptials.” He snapped his fingers. “But that’s right. You have no use for mudlarks. How could I forget?”
“You forget nothing you wish to remember.”
“But she did clean up well, didn’t she?” He smiled mischievously. “You weren’t even tempted to linger awhile?”
Robert had a fleeting memory of Kate staring up at him, her eyes wide, uncertain, that pouty mouth closing around his finger. Dammit, he was hardening again. He turned abruptly toward the door. “Let’s go to the stable. I want to take a look at that mare.”
Gavin didn’t move. “The mare’s fine. And you didn’t answer me. Weren’t you tempted to—”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Gavin.”
“I think you were tempted. Poor Robert. It’s very difficult, isn’t it?”
“I’m sure you’re going to elaborate on that.”
“Aye, I feel it’s my duty.” He took the last slice of apple and chewed it thoughtfully. “You want to bed her, but you can’t because she’s your wife. It’s very amusing.”
“I’m glad you find it so. I assure you, if I choose to bed her, I will do so.”
“Ah, the wind’s shifted.” Gavin laughed in delight. “I thought I saw the signs last night. But I still don’t think you will. In fact, I’ll wager you won’t. Two pounds. Taken?”
“Why are you so sure?”
“Because in many ways she’s still a child in need, and you’ve been trained to care for those who need you, not steal from them. Everyone at Craighdhu knows that.”
“But she doesn’t belong to Craighdhu,” Robert reminded him softly.
“But she belongs to you.”
“For a year.”
“All the more reason not to steal something that will bring pleasure to the next man who takes her in marriage.”
The next man who lay in bed with her, who plunged between her thighs and sampled that tightness he had just denied himself. Robert’s expression carefully hid the rage that tore through him at the thought. “But I’m so good at stealing.”
“Only from the Spanish, not from big-eyed children.”
His lips tightened in annoyance. “I told you, she’s not a child. I assure you, there’s no one more wary or barbed than—” He broke off as he saw Kate coming down the stairs.
She was dressed in the same brown wool cape she had worn previously, but her hair was now in a neat single braid. She moved with a springy step, color bloomed in her cheeks, and her eyes flashed with life. He had never seen a woman more boldly alive, and yet there was still a touch of that fragile eagerness he had seen in her when he had told her he would give her a home of her own.
Gavin gave a low whistle. “Never mind. Let’s forget it.”
Robert didn’t take his eyes from Kate. “Never mind what?”
“The wager. You’re staring at her as you did that very first galleon we took from the Spanish.” He took a step forward as Kate reached the bottom of the stairs. “Good morning, my lady. Do you remember me?”
“Of course I do.”
She was smiling at Gavin with an openness she had never displayed toward Robert. Her attitude had always reflected wariness or distrust toward him. Why did it annoy him? Everyone always smiled at Gavin.
“How could she forget you?” Robert abruptly turned on his heel and strode toward the door. “It’s time we got on the road. Bring her along to the stable.”
/> Kate’s smile faded as she watched Robert leave the inn. “What did I do?”
“He’s annoyed with me, not you. As usual, my tongue ran away with me.” Gavin changed the subject. “Did you have time to eat? You came down so quickly.”
“I had a bite or two while I said good-bye to Carolyn. I was too excited to eat.”
“Well, it’s not every day a lass is wed.”
“Wed?” She shook her head. “He’s going to give me a house, a place of my own.”
He chuckled. “And a house is better than a bridegroom?”
She looked at him uncertainly. “Are we truly wed? It all seems most strange.”
“Aye, handfast is as legal as standing before a man of God in Scotland.”
“But we’re not in Scotland.”
“Robert is a Scot. That makes it binding right enough.”
She felt a rush of relief. “Then it is all right.”
He nodded. “And the only way Robert could best Her Majesty. He was not at all pleased with her.”
“Why would he want to best—”
“I’ll tell you once we’re on the road.” Gavin took her elbow and guided her toward the door. “Robert wants us at the stable, and I’ve caused him enough irritation for one morning. It’s always best to dole out impudence in small doses so that he doesn’t choke on it.” He added ruefully, “Or choke me.”
She found herself smiling again. How strange that she was so easy in Gavin’s presence. She had no desire to withdraw into herself as was her custom. Perhaps it was that his sunny demeanor reminded her of Carolyn’s, and she suspected it masked the same kindness. “You don’t appear to be overfearful of him.”
“That’s because I belong to Craighdhu. A certain amount of liberty is always given to the denizens of Craighdhu.”
“No, it’s more than that.” She had noticed a bonding, an easy familiarity that was not that of lord and minion. “You’ve known each other a long time?”
He glanced at her appraisingly. “You have sharp eyes and know how to use them.” He nodded. “We grew up together.”
“Like brothers?”
“At first.” He frowned. “But later it changed.…”