Signed ________________________________
The Journal of Marcia Overstrand
Entry #1
Something awful has happened. I know at I have always wanted to become ExtraOrdinary Wizard, but I never, never wanted it to be like is. But it is true: I am now the ExtraOrdinary Wizard, and my wonderful teacher and friend, Alther, is dead. Shot. And the dear Queen too and her baby girl as good as an orphan, for who knows where her father is?
Tonight I left the Princess out in the snow and waited until I knew at a certain someone (I dare not reveal who here, as even if I Seal is journal, it may till fall into the wrong hands) had taken her to safety. It is not the ideal home for a Princess, but it is the only home at I can ink of.
Entry #3
Guards are everywhere. The Castle has been taken over. The Wizard Tower must stand firm. They will not dare touch us.
Entry #6
It is so sad, have just heard that the poor Heaps’ seventh son died very soon after he was born. No one know why. I do hope everything else is all right.
Entry #15
Morning
This place is a mess. I don’t see why Alther couldn’t have managed a few housekeeping Spells. Oh, how could I ay at? Poor Alther. Anyway, today I have Removed the stains on the carpet. I put the stains on an old pair of socks and threw them down the rubbish chute—e rubbish chute is surprisingly useful.
Midnight
Very quiet up here tonight. All I can hear is the wind howling past the windows and—oh, what was at? I am getting jumpy. Oh, I do miss Alther.
Entry #366
Alther finally Appeared while I was having breakfast. It was wonderful to see him again. The Supreme Custodian and his guards still search for e Princess, but they have no idea where she is. So far our plan is working.
But the Palace is ransacked, servants terrorized and drafted into the Custodian Guard. And Alther says the awful rumors of an army of children are true.
Alther seemed tired and a little confused. Suggested he stay here for a few days. I hall be glad of his company. Talked into the night. Alther convinced at his old master, DomDaniel, is behind everything. Surely not?
On a lighter note, I told him about Alice Nettles’s new job at the Port. Alther worried about whether he would be able to find her. He kept muttering, “A ghost may only tread once more where, Living, he has trod before.” But I don’t see what he is worried about—Alther went all over the place. People used to moan to me about it all e time.
Entry #377
Alther made it to the Port and back! He found Alice in e Blue Anchor Tavern—which of course he could easily get into. Alice has just become Chief Customs Officer. Only trouble was Alther got Returned from her official residence. Said being Returned was horrible, felt like being sucked down the rubbish chute, which I told him was plain silly. No one goes down rubbish chutes. Couldn’t believe at Alther had never been to e Chief Customs Officer’s official residence, but he aid they gave very boring parties and he couldn’t be bothered. But Alice will figure it out.
Entry #687
Alther went to check on e Princess again today. He says he is doing very well and is a lovely child. Doesn’t look much like her adoptive brothers though. Hmm, hadn’t ought of at.
Entry #1,257
Alther has been going on about is Apprentice business. But I don’t have to get an Apprentice. The truth is, I haven’t been anyone with an ounce of talent—let alone anyone I could imagine spending all at time with. Alther says people are starting to talk, calling me fussy. Like I care.
Entry #3,001
Alther believes there is a spy in the Ramblings but can find nothing out. Nothing. The trouble is, the Supreme Custodian has begun holding his meetings in e Ladies’ Washroom and Alther, try as he might to get in, is always Returned—of course. Bother and double bother.
Entry #3,650
Terrible news. An Assassin has been instructed. I must speak to Silas. I dread is day and what may come of it.
Entry #3,873
Woke late a er ano er Dungeon Number One nightmare. Have pounding headache. Must get up and check at Septimus has brushed his tee and combed his hair. He is very disorganized at e moment. But after years in that awful Young Army, who can blame him?
Entry #3,992
Another interesting day with Septimus. Who would have thought at a on of Silas Heap’s could be of quick to learn? We moved on to Hidden Seeks today, and Septimus found them all. Had yet another note from Sarah (apparently attached to a bag of apples at was destroyed by the duty Wizard) asking him to come to tea. Does he not realize at Septimus has important work to do?
She sent me this letter:
* * *
The Palace
The Small Sitting Room
Dear Marcia,
I hope you will, for once, allow Septimus to come to tea this Sunday. I can still count on the fingers of one hand the times I have seen him since we all returned from Zelda’s. He is looking very pale. Is he eating properly? I am sending some app les for him.
Please tell him that his mother is so looking forward to seeing him.
Sarah Heap
Entry #3,993
I let Septimus go to tea with his parents against my beer judgment, and what time did the child get back? Nearly midnight. These Heaps have no sense of responsibility.
Entry 4,438
Oh no no no no NO. I can’t bear it….
* * *
Dear Marcia,
I know that one day you will find this note because when I don’t come back I know you will look everywhere in the Library and through all the Alchemie things that are there. I’ve never seen Marcellus’s book in the Library, but I bet you know where it is. It is probably on that Sealed shelf. I hope you find it soon after I have gone so that you do not worry about me too much and so that you can tell everyone where I am. I am going to put it in the Almanac section of Marcellus’s book. He is writing it for our Time—I mean your Time. It is not my Time anymore. I will put it in the day that I went so you will know where to look for it.
I want to say thank you, as I really liked being your Apprentice and I wish I still was, but I am Apprenticed to Marcellus Pye now. You must not worry, as it is not so bad, but I miss you all and if you can by any chance come get me (but I don’t know how you can), I would be SO happy.
I have to go now. Marcellus is coming.
I came here through a Glass. Jenna will tell you.
Love, Septimus xxx
* * *
Entry 4,449
That dragon is a total health hazard and a disgrace. Have just ReNewed yet another window broken by all the disgusting stuff it coughs up. Why does it have to eat bricks? Those windows are not easy to ReNew anymore, after all is time. Had a delegation of Wizards yesterday complaining at the wretched beast traps them in the piles of poop and then tries to eat their cloaks. Enough is enough. To top it all off, got is pathetic note from old bossyboots down the road:
* * *
The Hermetic Chamber
The Manuscriptorium
13 Wizard Way
To: Marcia Overstrand, ExtraOrdinary Wizard
Re: Invoice number 44692
The above invoice remains unpaid. To refresh your memory, Marcia, this is for the damages caused at the Manuscriptorium by your dragon. You owe for three broken windows, a desk, four chairs, six lamps and the cleaning bill from the specialty cleaners we had to call in.
Your payment is three months overdue, but I trust I can expect it directly.
Sincerely,
(Miss) Jillie Djinn
CHS MTHAB MSSLA BSDC FESAA DFC*
(Diploma of Fish Counting: Distinction)
* * *
ALTHER MELLA
ALTHER MELLA was the ExtraOrdinary Wizard during a long period of peace in the Castle. Everyone liked Alther—and respected him too. He enjoyed the company of all kinds of people in the Castle and the Port and was also known to be a powerful Wizard. He had many Apprentices,
the last two being Silas Heap and Marcia Overstrand. People were surprised when Alther took on Marcia. None of his previous Apprentices had been known as great students of Magyk—but Marcia was different. Some people even went as far as to say that Alther Mella had grown up at last.
A small shadow on Alther’s reputation was the way in which he became ExtraOrdinary Wizard. Most of the inhabitants of the Castle had gathered in the Wizard Tower courtyard to watch the fight between the highly unpopular ExtraOrdinary Wizard DomDaniel and his much-loved Apprentice, Alther Mella. The fight took place on the golden Pyramid at the very top of the Wizard Tower, and it appeared that Alther pushed DomDaniel to his death. But things are not always as they seem.
It is worth noting here that Alther’s protests that he did not push DomDaniel—that DomDaniel actually jumped—must indeed be true. Alther became ExtraOrdinary Wizard by a rare process of Transformation. ExtraOrdinary Wizards are created by a direct transfer of the Akhu Amulet from the previous incumbent—as happened with Marcia. This can also be taken by force, as DomDaniel did for his second—mercifully brief—period of office, and as, indeed, Alther did from DomDaniel. But Alther was also totally Transformed. During his horror-struck run down through the Wizard Tower, Alther’s green Apprentice robes were Transformed to the purple robes of an ExtraOrdinary Wizard, and his very battered silver Apprentice belt Transmuted into the gold and platinum of the ExtraOrdinary Wizard. This is a rare occurrence and happens only at times of great importance. Incidentally, Marcia’s belt was actually Transmuted, but she had to get her own robes from the Wardrobe Wizard on the tenth floor.
Now Alther wears only ghostly ExtraOrdinary robes, complete with the bloodstain on his chest where he was shot. He has long white hair, which is neatly tied back into a ponytail, and a well-trimmed white beard. This is because Alther had dressed up for his visit to the Queen and so is preserved forever in a way quite un typical of his usual everyday appearance.
Alther does not particularly like being a ghost. Who does? But, as he tells Marcia, it is better than the alternative. The one thing that Alther does enjoy about his ghostly state is his ability to fly. He loves the fact that he has lost his crippling fear of heights and is free to soar like a bird. His favorite occupation is skimming low along the river on a still night at full moon. At times like that Alther feels everything is right with the world.
Recently Alther has not done much flying. He has been taking care of Alice Nettles in her own Resting Time—the year and a day after entry into ghosthood. They have taken up residence in the Pavilion that Princess Jenna set up for them on the Palace Landing Stage, but Alther is looking forward to the time when he can take Alice by the hand and fly along the river with her by moonlight.
Alther Mella’s Guide to Being Dead
TEN HANDY RULES FOR NEW GHOSTS
GHOSTWRITTEN BY SILAS HEAP
OKAY, SO THE WORST HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. You are dead. It’s a big shock. In fact, some of you may not even realize you are dead. But you are. You have—as we so foolishly used to say—fallen off your perch, kicked the bucket and gone to a better place. Don’t worry if you feel weird—it happens to us all eventually. It’s a tough time, but you are not alone. With the help of my former Apprentice Silas Heap, I have put together this little pamphlet for all you new ghosts. We try and deliver it when and where needed and hope it may be of some use.
RULE ONE: Resting Time
This lasts for a year and a day. You will find that you are confined to the very spot where you died. This can be the most difficult time of all for some, as this very place may have bad memories for you. However, try to see it as a way of understanding what has happened to you. Do not use your time here as a way of getting back at those who are still Living in that place, however much you may feel they deserve it. As a ghost you should be above all that. For much of your Resting Time, particularly in the early days, you may be confused about where you are and why you are there. But, as the year and a day progresses, things will become clearer, and by the end of your Resting Time you will feel quite transformed.
RULE TWO: Move On
After your Resting Time you are free to leave the place where you entered ghosthood. Be brave and take that first step. Some ghosts never do, and this is a mistake. It can lead to a miserable and haunted time for all.
RULE THREE: Tread Once More
Be aware of this cardinal rule of ghosthood:
A ghost may only tread once more
Where, Living, he has trod before.
Most ghosts do not worry about this; they are happy to stick to familiar places. However, it does mean that you cannot use your ghosthood as an opportunity to go to all those wonderful lands you meant to visit when you were Living. My advice is to do the things you want to do before you die.
But I can pass on a useful tip—for all you sailors out there, you can still travel in your boat. Of course you cannot disembark, but you can see the world. Make sure someone keeps your boat in good order. If she sinks, you will be Returned. This also applies to horses (obviously not the sinking part), but unfortunately horses do not last forever. I have heard of some ghosts who have been ReUnited with the ghosts of their horses, but this is a complicated process. See our supplementary pamphlet Advanced Ghosthood displayed in the window of the Manuscriptorium and in the Hole in the Wall Tavern.
RULE FOUR: Returned
If you step outside your “trod before” zone, you will be Returned to the nearest place where you have trod before. Being Returned is a foul experience; the best way I can describe it is like being sucked into a screaming whirlwind. Unless you are very cautious, you will probably experience it once or twice.
RULE FIVE: Pass Through
This is an experience you will be bound to have. Being Passed Through is not as bad as being Returned, but it is no fun. This happens when a Living person—or a part of a Living person—Passes Through you. It may just be the wave of a hand or a complete body Passing Through. Either way it is not pleasant and makes you feel quite hollow for some minutes afterward. Best avoided by carefully watching where you are going. You cannot blame the Living for doing this, although some do seem to be particularly careless. But remember they cannot see you unless you Appear to them. See Rule Six.
RULE SIX: Appearing
Your first Appearance to the Living as a ghost is a big moment. Many choose never to Appear at all, and for all of us it is an important decision.
Some questions you may wish to ask yourself before you Appear:
Who do I wish to Appear to?
Is he or she expecting me?
Is he or she in a situation where it is safe/not embarrassing for me to Appear?
Generally it is best to conduct your Appearance in the same way you would have conducted a visit when Living—make sure you will be welcome and do not stay too long. Remember, the Living may be upset at seeing you, particularly if you were close to them.
You yourself may also find the experience unsettling. Many ghosts say that it was at their first Appearance that they truly realized that they were indeed a ghost—especially if they saw themselves in a looking glass.
Think carefully before you Appear.
RULE SEVEN: Flight
One of the perks of being a ghost. Enjoy it. The air above where you once trod is available to you at any height. I recommend low-level flying.
RULE EIGHT: Causing
Under some circumstances you may be able to Cause something in the Living world to move. This is not easy. Instructions can be found in our Advanced pamphlet. Causing is mentioned here for your information only.
RULE NINE: EATING
You can’t. It’s a shame, but you get used to it.
RULE TEN: GHOST ETIQUETTE
Be polite to all ghosts.
Be patient to older ghosts, known as Ancients. They can be very faint and confused—remember, you will be an Ancient one day.
Do not scare the Living for the fun of it.
Do not Pass Through oth
er ghosts.
TOP TIPS FOR A HAPPY GHOSTHOOD:
Be sociable: visit the Hole in the Wall Tavern.
Remember you are responsible for the atmosphere wherever you are—be positive.
And no, things were not always better in the Good Old Days.
Once you are familiar with these rules, you may wish to read our new pamphlet, Advanced Rules of Ghosthood, on display in the window of the Manuscriptorium and inside the Hole in the Wall Tavern. Subjects include:
New Forms: How, why and when
Reuniting with those who die later: Pitfalls and pleasures
Reuniting with those who died earlier: Pleasures and pitfalls
Pets: Can a hamster be a successful ghost?
Discomposing: How to get through walls the easy way
Ghosts to avoid
Haunting for pleasure
On being Gathered (recommended reading for ex-ExtraOrdinary Wizards)
And much, much more!
SEPTIMUS HEAP
SEPTIMUS HEAP spent the first ten years of his life as a boy with no name. All he had was a number: 412. Known as Boy 412, Septimus was one of the Expendables in the Supreme Custodian’s Young Army. Septimus stayed alive by following orders and keeping quiet, and he survived the dangerous night exercises in the Forest because—unknown to him—many of the trees were looking out for him at the request of his shape-shifter grandfather, Benjamin Heap.
The day that Septimus nearly froze to death in front of the Wizard Tower was the day that changed his life. It threw his lot in with the Heaps and with Marcia Overstrand and began his voyage of discovery. He learned many things in those next few months: that people could be kind, that Wizards were not so bad, that cabbage sandwiches tasted good and that even Princesses were quite nice really. He also learned to his surprise that he was good at Magyk—the very Magyk that the Young Army had taught him to despise. Not only was he good at it, he was so good that the ExtraOrdinary Wizard actually wanted him to become her Apprentice—which was, he thought, just ridiculous.