CHAPTER XXIII. A CHARACTERISTIC LETTER
It may save the reader some time, and relieve him from the weary taskof twice listening to the same story, if we steal some passages from aletter which, about this time, Jack Massingbred addressed to his formercorrespondent. He wrote from the inn at Oughterard, and, although stillunder the influence of the excitement of the late contest, expressedhimself with much of his constitutional calm and frankness. We shall notrecapitulate his narrative of the election, but proceed at once to whatfollowed on that description.
"I see, Harry, the dubious projection of your nether lip, I appreciatethe slow nod of your head, and I fancy I can hear the little half-sighof deprecation with which you hear all this. Worse again, I don't seekto defend myself. I think my case a bad one; but still I feel there issomething to be said in mitigation. You need not trouble yourself todraw up an indictment: I plead guilty--entirely guilty--to all youcan say. I _have_ broken with 'the gentlemen' to cast my lot with the_canaille_. Why have n't we a good wholesome word of our own for ahome-made article? I _have_ deserted the ranks where, whatever fortunebefell, it was honor to fight; I have given up association withthe well-bred and the well-mannered, to rub shoulders with thecoarse-minded, the rough-hearted, and the vulgar. There is not areproach you can make me on this score that I have n't already addressedto myself. I feel all the indignity of my situation,--I experienceall the insult of their companionship; but, as the lady detected inpossession of her lover's picture pleaded in her defence that it was notlike him, so I hope to arrest judgment against me by the honest avowalthat I detest and despise my party. I don't talk to _you_ about theirprinciples--still less do I say anything of my own--but merely adverthere to the miserable compromise a gentleman is driven to make withevery sentiment of his nature who once enlists under their flag. AsTravers told us one evening--you were of the party, and must rememberit--he was speaking of the Peninsular campaign, in which he served asa volunteer--'So long as you were fighting,' said he, 'it was all verywell; the fellows were stout-hearted and full of spirit, and you feltthat you couldn't ask for better comrades; but when the struggle wasover--when it came to associating, living with them, hearing theirsentiments, sharing their opinions, hopes, fears, wishes, and soon--then it became downright degradation!' Not, as he remarked, thatthey were one jot more vicious or more corrupt than their betters,but that every vice and every corruption amongst them seemed doublyoffensive by the contact with their coarse natures. Now, my friends, theLiberals, are somewhat in the same category. They do their work rightwell on the field of battle; they fight, swear, slander, and perjurethemselves just like gentlemen; or rather better of the two. They evencome down handsomely with their cash,--the last best evidence any mancan tender of his honesty in a cause; but then, Harry, the struggleover, it is sorry work to become their companion and their friend!Oh! if you had but seen the dinners I have eaten, and the women I havehanded down to them!--if you could have but heard the sentiments I havecheered,--ay, and even uttered,--only listened to the projects we havediscussed, and the plans matured as we sat over our whiskey-punch,--you'd say, 'Jack must have the ambition of the Evil One himself in hisheart, since he pays this price for the mere glimpse of the goal beforehim!'
"Throughout the whole of your last letter I can detect a sense ofapprehension lest, 'with all my tact,' as you phrase it, these peopleare not really duping we,--using me for a present purpose, with theforegone resolve to get rid of me when it be accomplished. To be surethey are, Harry. I never doubted it for a moment. The only question is,which of us shall trip up the other! They desire to show the world thatthe operation of the Relief Bill will not be of that exclusive characterits opponents proclaimed,--that a Catholic constituency would choose aProtestant,--even prefer one,--as Mr. O'Connell said. The opportunitywas a good one to display this sentiment, and so they took me! Now, _my_notion is, that every great measure can have only one real importance,by throwing weight into the scale of one or other of the two greatParliamentary parties. Do what you will,--agitate, write, speak,pamphleteer, and libel,--but all resolves itself to some question ofa harm to one side and good to the other, the country the while beingwonderfully little the better or the worse for all the legislation.We used to have a Constitution in England: we have now only got aParliament, and to be anything in the nation a man must make himselffelt there! This, 'if I have the stuff in me,' as old Sherry said, Imean to do--_et nous verrons!_
"The fatigues of this new life are very great. I 'm up before it is wellday, writing and revising newspaper articles, answering letters, andreplying to 'queries.' I have my whole mornings taken up in audiences ofmy constituents, swallowing pledges, and recording promises; andlater on I go to dinner, 'with what appetite I may,' to some one of myfaithful supporters,--some corn-chandler who spouts 'foreign politics,'or a grocer who ought to be Colonial Secretary! But still I 'm thankfulfor all this bustle and occupation: it averts reflection, it raises abarrier against thought, and muffles the clapper of that small hand-bellin the human heart men call their conscience! They say few men wouldhave courage for either a battle or a wedding if it were not for the dinof the trumpets and the joy-bells; and I'm convinced that noise--merenoise--has no small share in determining the actions of mankind!
"And now, Harry, for a confession. I 'm heartily sorry for the whole ofthis business, and were it to be done again, nothing would tempt me toplay the same part in it. I was leading the jolliest life imaginable atCro' Martin. I had made the place and the people my own. It was a kindof existence that suited me,--sufficient of occupation, and enough ofleisure. There were oddities to laugh at, eccentricities to quiz, an oldlawyer to sharpen one's wits upon, and a governess--such a governess--toflirt with! Don't mistake me, Harry; it was not one of thosehand-pressing, downcast-gazing, low-speaking cases in which you are sucha proficient. It was far more like the approaches one might be supposedto make to a young tigress in a cage,--a creature with whom a mistakewould be your ruin, and whom you always caressed with a sense ofimpending peril.
"I told you how ably she aided me in this contest,--how she labored toobtain information--secret information--for me as to every voter in theborough. What prompted her to this course I cannot fathom. She does notappear to bear any grudge against the Martins,--she had been but a fewweeks amongst them,--and is, all things considered, well treated andwell received. As little was it any special favor towards myself.Indeed, on that head she will not permit me to fall into any error. Icannot suppose that with her foreign education and foreign habits shecares a jot for the small schemes and intriguings of home politics,--sowhat can it possibly mean? Help me to the solution of this riddle, andI 'll be more deeply your debtor than I can well say. Brought up as shehas been,--and as I have told you in my last letter,--nothing would bemore natural than her adoption of every prejudice of the class by whomshe has been so singularly distinguished; and in this light I havealways viewed her. Under the calm reserve of a most polished manner youcan still detect a shrinking horror of all the vulgar association ofthe rank she came from. Her quiet deference, haughtier by far than thedomination of those above her; the humility that no flatteries everbreached; a self-possession that never seemed so strong as whenresisting the blandishments of praise,--these are strange gifts in ayoung girl with beauty enough to turn half the heads of half the foolswe know of, and more than enough to make crazy that of him who writesthis.
"I tried twenty things to resist this tendency on my part. I laughed atmyself for the absurdity it would lead to. I ridiculed to my own heartall the extravagance of such a project. I even wrote a paragraph for the'Times' announcing the marriage of Jack Massingbred with Kate Henderson,the only daughter of Paul Henderson, the Land Steward, and pasted itabove my chimney to shock and outrage me. I did more. I made love toMiss Martin--as an alterative, as the doctors would call it--but I fellat a stone wall, got laughed at, and cured of my passion; and, lastly, Iclimbed that lofty tree of my family, and sat high among the branchesof defunct barons and baronets, to get
a bird's-eye view of the smallmushrooms that grow on the earth beneath, but hang me, Harry, if theagarics did n't seem better company, and I was glad to get down amongstthem again, meaning thereby to sit beside that one dear specimen of theclass I allude to!
"I see that you are curious to know how all these late events havemodified my relations with my father, and really I cannot answer yourinquiry. It is more than likely that my obtaining a seat in Parliamentwill embarrass rather than serve him with his party, since he will beexpected to control a vote over which he can exert no influence.
"As yet, nothing has occurred to draw us any closer, and my onlycommunications to him have been certain recommendatory letters, whichmy constituents here have somewhat peremptorily demanded at my hands.I gave them freely, for, after all, application is an easier task thanrefusing, and besides, Harry, it is very difficult to persuade yourelection friends that you cannot be a patriot and a patron at the sametime, and that, in the luxurious pastime of badgering a government, aman surrenders some of the pretensions to place. I gave them, therefore,all the letters they asked for; and if the Chief Secretary but answerone half of my appeals, Galway--or at least that small portion of itcalled Oughter-ard--will have no cause of complaint on the score of itsclaims to office.
"You are, I perceive, astonished that I continue to remain here. So amI, Harry. The place is detestable in almost every way. I am beset withentreaties, persecuted with vulgar attentions, bored to death by theinsolent familiarity of people I cannot--do all that I will--growintimate with; and yet I stay on, pretexting this, that, and t' other tomyself, and shrinking even to my own heart to avow the real reason of mydelay!
"I want once again, if only for a few moments, to see her. I want totry if by any ingenuity I could discover the mystery of her conduct withregard to myself; and I want also, if there should be the need to doso, to justify to her eyes many things which I have been forced bycircumstances to do in this contest.
"I have not the slightest suspicion as to how she views all that hasoccurred here. Two notes which I addressed to her, very respectful,businesslike epistles, have not been answered, though I entreated for afew words to acknowledge their receipt. The Martins, since the election,seem to have quarantined the whole town and neighborhood. They suffernone of their people to enter here. They have sent eight miles furtheroff to market, and even changed the post-town for their letters. Theirpolicy is, so far, shortsighted, as it has called into an exaggeratedimportance all that small fry--like the Nelligans--who have hithertobeen crushed under the greater wealth of the rich proprietor. But I amagain drifting into that tiresome tideway of politics which I have swornto myself to avoid, if only for a few days; in pursuance of which wiseresolve I shall betake myself to the mountains, under the pretext ofshooting. A gun is an idler's passport, and a game-bag and a shot-pouchare sufficient to throw a dignity over vagabondism. You will thereforedivine that I am not bent on snipe slaughter, but simply a good excuseto be alone!
"I mean to go to-morrow, and shall first turn my steps towards thecoast, which, so far as I have seen, is singularly bold and picturesque.If nothing occurs to alter my determination, I 'll leave this unclosedtill I can tell you that I have come back here, which in all probabilitywill be by the end of the week.
"Once more here, my dear Harry, I sit down to add a few lines to thisalready over-lengthy epistle. Wishing to give you some notion of thescenery, I set out with all the appliances of a sketcher, and havereally contrived to jot down some spots which, for general wildnessand grandeur, it would be difficult to surpass within the bounds ofour country. Nor is it alone the forms that are so striking, althoughI could show you outlines here perfectly Alpine in their fantasticextravagance; but the colors are finer than anything I have seen northof the Alps,--heaths and lichens grouped over rugged masses of rock,with shades of purple and gold such as no diadem ever equalled. Thesunsets, too, were gorgeous! You remember how struck we both were at themoment when the dome and aisle of St. Peter's burst into light, andfrom the darkness of midnight every column and every statue becameilluminated in a second; but a thousand times beyond this in grandeurof effect was the moment of the sun's decline below the horizon. Theinstant before, the great sullen sea was rolling and heaving with itsleaden blue surface, slightly traced here and there with foam, but nosooner had the sun touched the horizon, than a flood of purple gloryspread over the whole ocean, so that it became like a sea of molten goldand amber. The dark cliffs and rugged crags, the wave-beaten rocks, andthe rude wild islands, darksome and dismal but a moment back, werenow all glittering and glowing, every pinnacle and every peak in deepcarbuncle red. How suggestive to him who would describe anenchanted land or region of magic splendor! and what a hint for yourscene-painter, who, with all his devices of Bengal and blue light,with every trick that chemistry and optics could aid in, never fanciedanything so splendid or so gorgeous.
"I have half filled a sketch-book for you, and more than half filled mygame-bag with mosses and ferns, and such-like gear, which, knowing yourweakness, I have gathered, but, not understanding their virtues, may,for aught I know, be the commonest things in creation. I can only vouchfor their being very beautiful, and very unlike anything else I eversaw before; fragments of marble, too, and specimens of Irish jasperand onyx, are amidst my rubbish, or my treasures, whichever you shallpronounce them to be.
"I got through--don't fancy that the phrase denotes weariness or_ennui_--I got through four days in these pursuits, and then I tookboat, and for three more I paddled about the coast, dipping in amongstthe cliffs and creeks and caves of this wonderful coast, gatheringshells and seaweed, and shooting curlews and eating lobsters, and, infact, to all intents and purposes, suffering a 'sea change' over myselfand my spirit as unearthlike as well may be imagined; and at last Ibethought me of my new openiug career, and all that I ought to be doingin preparation of St. Stephen's, and so I turned my steps landward andtowards 'my borough.' I like to say 'my borough;' it sounds feudal andinsolent and old Torylike; it smacks of the day when people receivedtheir representative thankfully, as an alms, and your great proprietorcreated his nominee as the consul ennobled his horse!
"Revolving very high thoughts, reciting Edmund Burke's grandestperorations, and picturing very vividly before me the stunning triumphsof my own eloquence in the House, I plodded along, this time at leastwonderfully indifferent to the scenery, and totally oblivious of whereI was, when suddenly I perceived the great trees of Cro' Martin demesneshadowing the road I travelled, and saw that I was actually within amile or so of the Castle! You, Harry, have contrived, some way or other,to have had a very rose-colored existence. I never heard that you hadbeen jilted by a mistress, 'cut' by a once friend, or coldly received bythe rich relative from whom you derived all your expectations. I am noteven aware that the horse you backed ever went wrong, or that the billyou endorsed for another ever came back protested. In fact, you are whatthe world loves best, cherishes most, and lavishes all its blandishmentson,--a devilish lucky fellow! Lucky in a capital fortune, abundance ofgood gifts, good looks, and an iron constitution,--one of those naturesthat can defy duns, blue-devils, and dyspepsia! Being, therefore, allthis, well received everywhere, good company where pheasants are to beshot, Burgundy to be drunk, or young ladies to be married,--for you area good shot, a good wine-taster, and a good _parti_,--with such gifts, Isay, it will be very difficult to evoke your sympathy on the score of amisfortune which no effort of your imagination could compass. In fact,to ask you to feel what I did, as I found myself walking along _outside_of those grounds _within_ which, but a few days back, I was thecherished visitor, and in sight of that smoke which denoted a hearthbeside which I was never to sit again, and from which I was banishedwith something not very unlike disgrace! No sophistry I could summon wassufficient to assuage the poignancy of this sentiment. I feel certainthat I could stand any amount of open public abuse, any known or unknownquantity of what is genteelly called 'slanging,' but I own to youthat the bare thought of how my name might at that
moment be mentionedbeneath that roof, or even the very reserve that saved it from mention,caused me unutterable bitterness, and it was in a state of deephumiliation of spirit that I took the very first path that led acrossthe fields and away from Cro' Martin.
"They tell me that a light heart makes easy work of a day's journey.Take my word for it, that to get over the ground without a thought ofthe road, there's nothing like a regular knock-down affliction. I walkedeight hours, and at a good pace, too, without so much as a few minutes'halt, so overwhelmed was I with sensations that would not admit of myremembering anything else. My first moment of consciousness--for reallyit was such--came on as I found myself breasting a steep stony ascent,on the brow of which stood the bleak residence of my friend Mr.Magennis, of Barnagheela. I have already told you of my visit tohis house, so that I need not inflict you with any new detail of thelocality, but I confess, little as it promised to cheer or rally thespirits, I was well pleased to find myself so near a roof under which Imight take refuge. I knocked vigorously at the door, but none answeredmy summons. I repeated my demand for admittance still more loudly, andat last went round to the back of the house, which I found as rigidlybarred as the front. While still hesitating what course to take, Ispied Joan Landy--you remember the girl I spoke of in a formerletter--ascending the hill at a brisk pace. In a moment I was besideher. Poor thing, she seemed overjoyed at our meeting, and warmlywelcomed me to her house. 'Tom is away,' said she, 'in Dublin, they tellme, but he 'll be back in a day or two, and there 's nobody he 'd be soglad to see as yourself when he comes.' In the world, Harry,--that is,in your world and mine,--such a proposition as Joan's would have itsshare of embarrassments. Construe it how one might, there would be atleast some awkwardness in accepting such hospitality. So I certainlyfelt it, and, as we walked along, rather turned the conversation towardsherself, and whither she had been.
"'I 'm not more than half an hour out of the house,' said she, 'for Ionly went down the boreen to show the short cut by Kell Mills to a younglady that was here.'
"'A visitor, Mrs. Joan?'
"'Yes. But to be sure you know her yourself, for you came with her theday she walked part of the way back with me from Cro' Martin.'
"'Miss Henderson?'
"'Maybe that's her name. She only told me to call her Kate.'
"'Was she here alone?--did she come on foot?--which way is she gone?'cried I, hurrying question after question. Perhaps the tone of my lastwas most urgent, for it was to that she replied, by pointing to aglen between two furze-clad hills, and saying, 'That's the road she 'staking, till she crosses the ford at Coomavaragh.'
"'And she is alone?'
"'That she is; sorra a one with her, and she has five good miles beforeher.'
"I never waited for more. If I did say good-bye to poor Joan, I reallyforget; but I dashed down the mountain at speed, and hurried onward inthe direction she had pointed out. In an instant all my fatigue of theday was forgotten, and as I went along I remembered nothing, thought ofnothing, but the object of my pursuit.
"You who have so often bantered me on the score of my languor--that'elegant lassitude,' as you used to call it, which no zeal ever warmed,nor any ardor ever could excite--would have been somewhat astonishedhad you seen the reckless, headlong pace at which I went,--vaultingover gates, clearing fences, and dashing through swamps, without ever amoment's hesitation. Picture to yourself, then, my splashed and heatedcondition as, after a two-miles' chase in this fashion, I at lengthovertook her, just as she was in search of a safe spot to ford theriver. Startled by the noise behind her, she turned suddenly round, andin an instant we stood face to face. I 'd have given much to have seensome show of confusion, even embarrassment in her looks, but there wasnot the slightest. No, Harry, had we met in a drawing-room, her mannercould not have been more composed, as she said,--'Good-morning, Mr.Massingbred. Have you had much sport?' 'My chase was after _you_, MissHenderson,' said I, hurriedly. 'I just reached Barnagheela as MistressJoan returned, and having learned which road you took, followed you inall haste.'
"'Indeed!' exclaimed she, and in a voice wherein there were blended avast variety of meanings.
"'Yes,' I resumed, 'for an opportunity of meeting you alone--of speakingwith you even for a few moments--I have delayed my departure this weekback. I wrote to you twice.'
"'Yes; I got your letters.'
"'But did not deign to answer them.'
"' I did not write to you, because, situated as _I_ was, and regarded as_you_ were at Cro' Martin, there would have been a species of treasonin maintaining anything like correspondence, just as I feel there issomewhat akin to it in our intercourse at this moment.'
"'And have the events occurring lately changed _your_ feeling withregard to me?' asked I, half reproachfully.
"'I don't exactly know to what former condition you refer, Mr.Massingbred,' said she, calmly. 'If to the counsels which you weregracious enough to receive at hands humble and inexperienced asmine, they were given, as you remember, when you were the chosenrepresentative of the family at Cro' Martin, and continued only so longas you remained such.'
"'Then I have deceived myself, Miss Henderson,' broke I in. 'I hadfancied that there was a personal good-will in the aid you tendered me.I even flattered myself that I owed my success entirely and solely toyour efforts.'
"'You are jesting, Mr. Massingbred,' said she, with a saucy smile; 'noone better than yourself knows how to rely upon his own abilities.'
"'At least, confess that it was you who first suggested to me that theywere worth cultivating; that it was _you_ who pointed out a road tome in life, and even promised me your friendship as the price of myworthily adopting it!'
"'I remember the conversation you allude to. It was on this very road itoccurred.'
"'Well, and have I done anything as yet to forfeit the reward you spokeof?'
"'All this is beside the real question, Mr. Massingbred,' said she,hurriedly. 'What you are really curious to learn is, why it is that I,being such as I am, should have displayed so much zeal in a cause whichcould not but have been opposed to the interests of those who are mypatrons. That you have not divined the reason is a proof to me that Icould not make you understand it. I don't want to talk riddles,--enoughthat I say it was a caprice.'
"'And yet you talked seriously, persuasively to me, of my future roadin life; you made me think that you saw in me the qualities that winsuccess.'
"'You have a wonderful memory for trifles, sir, since you can recall soreadily what I said to you.'
"'But it was not a trifle to me,' said I.
"'Perhaps not, Mr. Massingbred, since it referred to yourself. I don'tmean this for impertinence!'
"'I am glad that you say so!' cried I, eagerly. 'I am but too happyto catch at anything which may tend to convince me that you would notwillingly hurt my feelings.'
"For several minutes neither of us uttered a word; at last I said,'Should I be asking too much, if I begged Miss Henderson to tell mewhether she is dissatisfied with anything I may have done in thiscontest? There may be matters in which I have been misrepresented;others of which I could make some explanation.'
"'Are you quite satisfied with it yourself, sir?' said she, interruptingme.
"'No,' said I; 'so little am I so, that were it all to do over again, I'd not embark in it. The whole affair, from beginning to end, is a falseposition.'
"'Ignoble associates--low companionships--very underbred acquaintances,'said she, in a tone of scorn that seemed far more directed at _me_ thanthe others. I believe I showed how I felt it. I know that my cheek wason fire for some seconds after.
"'The Martins, I take it, are outrageous with me?' said I, at last.
"'They never speak of you!' was the reply.
"'Not my Lady?'
"'No!'
"'Nor even Repton?'
"'Not once.'
"'That, at least, is more dignified; and if any accident should bring ustogether in county business--'
"'Which is not likely.' r />
"'How so?' asked I.
"'They are going away soon.'
"'Going away--to leave Cro' Martin--and for any time?'
"'My Lady speaks of the Continent, and that, of course, implies a longabsence.'
"'And has this miserable election squabble led to this resolve? Is theneighborhood to be deprived of its chief ornament--the people of theirbest friend--just for the sake of a petty party triumph?'
"'It is fortunate Mr. Massingbred's constituents cannot hear him,' saidshe, laughing.
"'But be serious, and tell me how far am I the cause of all this.'
"'The whole cause of it,--at least, so far as present events canreveal.'
"'How they must abhor me!' said I, half involuntarily.
"'_Avec les circonstances attenuantes_,' said she, smiling again.
"'How so?--what do you mean?'
"'Why, that my Lady is thankful at heart for a good excuse to getaway,--such a pretext as Mr. Martin himself cannot oppose. Repton,the Grand Vizier, counsels economy, and, like all untravelled people,fancies France and Italy cheap to live in; and Miss Mary is, perhaps,not sorry with the prospect of the uncontrolled management of the wholeestate.'
"'And is she to live here alone?'
"'Yes; she is to be sole mistress of Cro' Martin, and without even agoverness, since Miss Henderson is to accompany her Ladyship as privatesecretary, minister of the household, and, in fact, any other capacityyou may please in flattery to assign her. And now, Mr. Massingbred,that I have, not over-discreetly, perhaps, adventured to talk of familyarrangements to a stranger, will you frankly ac-knowledge that yourpride, or self-love, or any other quality of the same nature, is rathergratified than otherwise at all the disturbance you have caused here?Don't you really feel pleased to think that you have revolutionized alittle neighborhood, broken up a society, severed the ties that boundproprietor and peasant, and, in fact, made a very pretty chaos, out ofwhich may come anything or everything?'
"'When you address such a question as this to me, you don't expect ananswer. Indeed, the query itself is its own reply,' said I.
"'Well said, sir, and with consummate temper, too. Certainly, Mr.Massingbred, you possess one great element of success in public life.'
"'Which is--'
"'To bear with equanimity and cool forbearance the impertinences ofthose you feel to be your inferiors.'
"'But it is not in this light I regard Miss Henderson, be assured,' saidI, with earnestness; 'and if I have not replied to her taunts, it is notbecause I have not felt them.'
"I thought I detected a very faint flush on her cheek as I said this,and certainly her features assumed a more serious expression thanbefore.
"'Will you let me speak to you of what is far nearer my heart?' said I,in a low voice,--'far nearer than all this strife and war of politics?And will you deign to believe that what I say is prompted by whatever Iknow in myself of good or hopeful?'
"'Say on,--that is, if I ought to hear it,' said she, coldly.
"Deterred a second or two by her manner, I rallied quickly, and with anardor of which I cannot convey an impression, much less explain,--oneof those moments of rhapsody, _you 'd_ call it,--poured forth a warmdeclaration of love. Aye, Harry, sincere, devoted love!--a passionwhich, in mastering all the common promptings of mere worldly advantageand self-interest, had really inspired me with noble thoughts and highaspirations.
"A judge never listened to a pleading with more dignified patience thanshe did to my appeal. She even waited when I had concluded, as it wereto allow of my continuing, had I been so minded; when, seeing that I hadclosed my argument, she quietly turned about, and facing the road wehad just been travelling, pointed to the bleak, bare mountain on whichBarnagheela stood. 'It was yonder, then, that you caught up this lesson,sir. The admirable success of Mr. Magennis's experiment has seducedyou!'
"'Good heavens! Kate,' cried I--
"'Sir,' said she, drawing herself proudly up, 'you are continuing theparallel too far.'
"'But Miss Henderson cannot for a moment believe--'
"'I can believe a great deal, sir, of what even Mr. Massingbred wouldclass with the incredible; but, sir, there are certain situations inlife which exact deference, from the very fact of their humility. Mineis one of these, and I am aware of it.'
"'Will you not understand me aright?' cried I, eagerly. 'In offering toshare my fortune in life with you--'
"'Pray, sir, let this stop here. Poor Joan, I have no doubt, felt allthe grandeur of _her_ elevation, and was grateful even in her misery.But _I_ should not do so. I am one of those who think that the cruellestshare in a _mesalliance_ is that of the humbler victim. To brave sucha fate, there should be all the hopeful, sanguine sense of strongaffection; and, as a reserve to fall back on in reverses, there shouldbe an intense conviction of the superiority over others of him from whomwe accept our inferiority. Now, in my case, these two conditions arewanting. I know you like frankness, and I am frank.'
"'Even to cruelty,' said I.
"'We are very near Cro' Martin, sir, and I think we ought to part,' saidshe, calmly.
"'And is it thus you would have us separate? Have I nothing to hope fromtime,--from the changes that may come over your opinions of me?'
"'Calculate rather on the alterations in your own sentiments, Mr.Massingbred; and perhaps the day is not very distant when you will laughheartily at yourself for the folly of this same morning,--a folly whichmight have cost you dearly, sir, for I might have said, Yes.'
"'Would that you had!'
"'Good-bye, sir,' said she, not noticing my interruption, 'and rememberthat, if I should ever need it, I have a strong claim on your gratitude.Good-bye!'
"She did not give me her hand at parting, but waved it coldly towards meas she went. And so she passed the little wicket, and entered thedark woods of the demesne, leaving me in a state wherein the sense ofbewilderment alone prevailed over all else.
"I have given you this narrative, Harry, as nearly as I can remember,every step of it; but I do not ask you to understand it better thanI do, which means, not at all! Nor will I worry you with thethousand-and-one attempts I have made to explain to myself what I stillconfess to be inexplicable. I mean to leave this at once. Would that Ihad never come here! Write to me soon; but no bantering, Harry. Not evenmy friendship for _you_--oldest and best of all my friends--could standany levity on this theme. This girl knows me thoroughly, since shecomprehends that there is no so certain way to engage my affections asto defy them!
"Write to me, I entreat. Address me at my father's, where I shall be,probably, within a week. Were I to read over what I have just written,the chances are I should burn the letter; and so, _sans adieu_,
"Yours ever,
"Jack Massingbred."