“Aye, please. I’m starving and need to sleep. Please ask her to come up as soon as she can have a meal and a bath made ready.” Nic grabbed a roll from the counter as he made his way out.
~*****~
Not long after he bathed and ate the meal Mary had brought him, Nic crawled into the bed next to Morgan and slept soundly for hours. When he woke, it was dark outside and candlelight softly danced from the single flame. He had no idea how long he had slept, but the rest felt good and revitalizing.
Morgan was still sleeping. He took the opportunity to look at her through the candlelight. He brought her hand to his lips.
“You’re going to be fine, Morgan.”
When she was stronger, he would give her freedom. She had been ready to die for it. He felt his heart hurt, but he had promised and he was a man of honor.
Chapter 23
The chambermaid brought in a tray of food for Morgan to eat. Nic gently shook Morgan to wake her.
“Morgan, you need to eat something, lass.”
She opened her eyes and looked at Nic, then closed them. He touched her face with his fingertips.
“Morgan, you need to let me help you sit up to eat, love. I promise you may sleep once you do.”
Morgan opened her eyes again, taking in her surroundings.
“I thought I escaped or was that a dream?”
Nic shook his head. It hadn’t been a dream but definitely a nightmare.
“Nay, not a dream. You tried but only got outside the gate.”
“I feel like a newborn kitten, and I had the most terrible dreams. I thought I was back at Seabridge,” she confessed.
“You’ve been sick nine days, lass, and almost died.” Nic paused. “I’d not let that happen. Let me help you sit up.”
Placing his arm against her back, he helped her to a sitting position. The sheet fell away to reveal her wounded shoulder and left breast. She grabbed for the cover and brought it to her chin, embarrassed he had seen her.
“Don’t feel embarrassed, Morgan. Who do you think’s been taking care of you?”
“He wouldn’t let anyone else touch ye, Your Grace,” the maid said as she closed the door to go get fresh water for a bath.
“I owe you a debt of gratitude. I hope you know that it was never my intent to be a burden to you.”
“You’re not a burden, Morgan. So, push that thought out of your mind. But one has to ask, what were you thinking, lass?”
“I guess I wasn’t, not really, but all I could think was to run.”
She couldn’t look at him.
Taking her chin, he lifted her gaze to look at him. “Why, love? Why run from safety? Why run from me?”
The question hung heavy in the air, and Nic took her hands in his. Morgan opened her mouth to speak just as a tap came on the door. She pressed her lips together again. Nic waited. Seeing that he would get nothing out of her, he rose to open the door. It was Mary.
“May I help Her Grace in any way?” Mary asked cheerfully.
“Aye, Mary. If Her Grace wishes to take a bath, please help her. I think I’ve completed my work here for the moment. My men are waiting.” He turned back to Morgan. “ ‘Tis good to see you improved, Duchess.” Nic bowed at the waist.
Pulling Mary back out into the hallway, he whispered so that Morgan couldn’t overhear. “Don’t say anything about the marriage. I’ve not had the opportunity to tell her. So, please pass this directive to the rest of the household as well.”
“Aye, sir.” She curtsied and returned into the room.
~*****~
Nic returned to their room after his training practice with the intention of sharing with her the news of their legal contract of marriage.
He found her asleep, looking peaceful and vulnerable; not wanting to wake her from the much needed restorative sleep, Nic decided to join her.
He removed his clothes and slipped into bed with his wife, opening his arms as she turned to him in sleep. He kissed her on top of her head and breathed in her sweetness. He inhaled again deeply, closed his eyes, and gave over to a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 24
“Up ye come, Miss Sleepyhead.” Mary burst into the room with her usual merriment and good cheer. “Our dashing knight wishes ye to eat again. Here, let me help ye sit up, me dear.”
Mary came over to the bed after setting the loaded tray on the table and helped Morgan to prop herself up in the bed. She was feeling stronger and more herself, and she had Mary and Nic to thank for that improvement.
Morgan looked at the mound of food. “Well, I hope our dashing knight doesn’t need me to eat all that. I’ll surely explode.”
She and Mary giggled at the same time.
“Oh, Duchess, it’s so good to see ye feeling better.” Mary clasped her hands over her ample bosom and beamed brightly. “The McKinnon will be pleased to see ye today. Your color is improving even from last evening. Now, let me bring ye some food.”
“I think I would like to try to sit at the table. Can you help me get there? I’m feeling stronger, but I’m still weak as a kitten.”
“Oh, of course. It would be my pleasure.”
“Nay, the pleasure is all mine this morning, Mary.” Nic had entered the room unannounced. Morgan jumped at the sound of his voice. She wondered how he was able to be so silent when he completely filled the room.
He is so beautiful and larger than life, she thought as his dark hair hung loose and flowed down his back like a glorious cascade of dark silk. His tunic was open at the front in casual contempt for propriety, and the tightly fitted leggings hugged his powerful legs. There is something to be said for the male form, she thought. Especially when beautifully put together like he was. He looked as sensual and as unobtainable as she knew him to be.
Seeing him so darkly handsome didn’t dampen her mood. She would enjoy him to the very end. She wasn’t as uncomfortable in his company as she thought she should be, knowing he had nursed her in her illness. That had to have been very unpleasant, she thought, realizing that throwing up on his boots the first day was nothing compared to what he must have seen after her failed attempt at freedom.
Nic sensed the change in her. He wasn’t going to let her mood deter him, though. He leaned down and scooped her up, blankets and all.
“Nay, Nic. Please, put me down.”
“Verray well, m’lady. I’ll do as you command just as soon as I get you to this chair.” She had lost weight. At this point his bedroll weighed more than she did, Nic mused as he deposited her in the smaller chair at the table.
Nic was glad she was feeling better, and knowing her as he did, he felt he needed to place some stipulation on her getting up and around.
“I really don’t mind seeing you up and out of bed as long as you behave.”
“Behave?” Morgan held in a laugh. The idea of her causing trouble was preposterous. She was so weak there wasn’t much trouble she could cause. However, his expression told her he fully believed she was trouble incarnate. “I’m a perfect little angel.”
“Pffft! A little devil is more like it, and you know it too” Nic came back at her all in good fun. “All jesting aside, you’re not to overdo for at least a day or two longer. That’s an order.” Nic saw the telling sign she was perturbed. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Morgan, sheath the claws. You’re verray weak and are not but skin draped on bone. You were deathly ill not three days ago and are still at risk of a relapse. If that happens because of your own stubbornness, then I’ll just let you die, thinking you must surely have a death wish.”
He should have stopped there, but good sense had fled and was now overrun by frustration and exhaustion.
“And after all, you’re the Duchess and therefore, your every wish is most certainly my command!” He did a mocking yet graceful bow from the waist, sweeping his left arm wide in exaggerated gallantry.
“You’re being a gallant arse, Nic. Do you think me being ‘skin draped on bone’ is something that I intentionally did to myself? You
think I want to look like a skinny boy? Well, you can blame my uncle for my skeletal state.”
He was instantly contrite for his words.
“I’m verray sorry, lass. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you, and aye, an arse I can certainly be, but you need to understand that you must take care of yourself. And that begins by eating a good meal.”
And to hell with your uncle, he thought. The man was a sword tip away from being a skeleton himself.
Nic served their plates. He hadn’t planned to eat with her, but he was going to stay. His men would just have to wait. Morgan looked over at her breakfast companion. Nic had begun to eat and her stomach growled in a most undignified fashion.
He chuckled.
“ ‘Tis a good sign, I think. Now go on and eat. I haven’t saved your life just to have you starve.” He was teasing her and she smiled, making him wonder how he was ever going to let her go.
Chapter 25
Nic had found other sleeping arrangements after the morning he had taken breakfast with Morgan. However, he had continued to have meals with her. As they had finished breaking their fast, Nic sensed Morgan wanted to ask him for something.
For her, the days passed with monotony and routine, and she was going crazy. She was feeling much better and needed more activity.
Funny how quickly attitudes change, she thought.
Not so long ago, she had spent years confined by her uncle Lester, yet she never felt as caged as she did, a pampered guest, safely tucked behind the walls of Featherstone. Having tasted freedom, she found she craved it even more.
Morgan cautiously approached him. She was feeling much stronger and wanted to escape her rooms where she had spent the last ten days.
“Nic, do you think it would be possible for you to take me for a short walk outside the castle today? The weather looks to be mild and I’m feeling much stronger.”
Nic hesitated, but how could he resist the pleading look that was in her eyes? Lord help him should she ever discover the effects she had on him. He always lost all sense of good judgment around her.
She could probably ask me to jump from the parapets and I would, he wagered with himself.
Closing his eyes, he shook his head at his internal musings.
Morgan thought he was declining her request.
“Very well, I’ll not ask again.”
She turned away from him, back to the window looking out over the countryside.
Nic moved behind her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he felt her stiffen. Tenderly, he turned her around to face him, lifting her chin with his hand. Looking into her eyes, he saw her eyes moist with tears, and the idea that she was sad was almost more than he could bear.
“Morgan, you mistake my intent,” he spoke tenderly. “I was just thinking how I lose all the good sense God has given me when I’m around you, lass.”
As if to prove his point, he stepped closer, taking her face lovingly into his hands, rubbing his thumb across the pink and tender scar on her cheek. Gently, he placed a kiss upon it. He stepped back and let his gaze travel down to her mouth. Her lips looked moist and were slightly parted in mute invitation. Cautiously, he lowered his mouth to hers.
It was a tender kiss, almost reverent, worshipful.
That one small kiss touched him more deeply than any passionate kiss had ever done. It thrilled him to the core, and Nic was reluctant to release her. Slowly, he withdrew his mouth from hers, his hands still framing her face.
“Aye, Morgan, you may have your walk. I’ll send Thomas to you.”
He kissed her on the forehead and left the room before she could recover.
~*****~
Nic left Morgan in Thomas’ care and went straight to the training fields where his men awaited him. He always trained several hours a day, and this day he worked straight through the midday meal, having gotten a later start than usual.
As the day wore on, he became more and more distracted. Consequently, his sparring partner kept landing blows that, under normal circumstances, he would have had no trouble deflecting.
Cullen stopped and studied the man who was as much his mentor as he was his brother. Something was bothering Nic, and Cullen had a few pieces of advice for him.
“Nic, if you’re going to train, then train. If you’re going to daydream, then get to the gardens,” Cullen said, with no malice intended.
His brother’s words drew Nic’s attention, and he silently admitted, although younger, his brother had a point.
“I’m sorry, Cullen. I guess I’m just a little off center today.”
“Look, Nic, you always told me ‘never let personal issues get in the way’ because it will cost me. Great advice then and still is good advice. Don’t let her get to you, brother. At the wrong time those distractions will get you killed. You know?”
“Aye, I understand what you’re saying. Is it that obvious?”
“Let me just say that I understand your position. But your situation will work out, I feel certain.”
“I’m glad one of us is so cocksure,” Nic said under his breath, then looked back at the castle, specifically Morgan’s window.
“She just needs time to adjust,” Cullen offered. “Let her become accustomed to the idea of being the wife of one of the most feared men in the king’s realm. She shall figure out soon enough how to wrap you around her little finger.” Cullen laughed, poking fun at his older brother.
“She can’t adjust if she doesn’t know,” Nic said, taking his sword and stabbing the blade into the earth between them. Then he ran his hands through his hair.
Cullen stood with jaw open.
“You haven’t told her, and you turned her loose with Thomas? Have you lost your mind? You know Thomas can’t keep a secret, Nic. He’s not malicious. It’s just a byproduct of his never-ending prattle.”
Nic began to feel the pangs of panic. What if Thomas slipped and told her of their marriage? It should come from him. He had to tell her soon, but he had been stalling because he was completely unsure of what her reaction would be regardless of the source. And he didn’t want her to bolt!
“I have to go, Cullen. I’ll see you at the evening meal. If I’m not there then come looking for me. I’ll most likely be locked in my bedroom suite with my wife, fighting the battle of my life. She’s verray independent.”
Cullen laughed, shaking his blond head. “Women.” He sobered. “I pray I’m wrong, Nic, but you may not come out the victor on this one, my brother.”
“Somehow, I feel you just might be right.” Nic turned and headed back to the castle and wondered exactly how he was going to break the news to her that he was the Seventh Duke of Seabridge.
~*****~
In her room, Morgan was studying the training field. She had a good view from her window and from her vantage point never found it difficult to spot Nic.
He was head and shoulders above the rest and always aggressive in his training. Yet while she had watched him, she could see something wasn’t right with him. He faltered. She had seen Cullen get in a couple of good blows. Were he really engaged in battle, those blows would have cost him his life.
She saw him stop, run his hand through his hair as he talked with the tall, blond, young man who had arrived at the castle a few days ago. She had discovered he was Nic’s younger half-brother. Having watched Nic over the last week, she had figured out that when Nic ran his hand through his hair, he was frustrated and a bit edgy.
“At least I’m not the reason for it,” she said as she watched him turn to leave the field.
Morgan shivered. He made her insides tighten in a way she had started to recognize as sensual.
“He’s magnificent,” she said as he made his way back to the keep. She continued to watch, following his movements until he was out of view.
She moved away from the window and began to ready herself, wondering if perhaps he would take supper with her. She was dying to show off one of the three new gowns that had arrived this morning. She didn’t k
now why, but somehow it felt important for her to dress with care this evening.
Nic had trained through the midday meal, and she found she missed him. He was intelligent and had a sense of humor to mirror her own. They usually found each other’s company light and enjoyable. His friendship was easy to accept and hers easy to give.
Apparently, he had put her illness behind him. His behavior towards her was relaxed, comfortable, and anything but sexual. The exception was the kiss he had given her that morning.
She knew he liked her. They enjoyed each other’s company, yet it pricked her pride that he didn’t think of her in terms of a desirable woman. She guessed it might be different between them if she were tiny, blonde, and curvy. As he had pointed out earlier, she was just skin stretched on bone. She had gained some weight from the food Mary brought to her, and he had insisted she eat, but Morgan knew she was still very thin. Consequently, he didn’t look at her as if she were a woman at all.
The realization hurt.
Morgan wished it were not true. However, she was a realist and the reality was this: Nic McKinnon was in love with a woman, and that woman wasn’t her.
On their walk earlier in the day, Thomas had told her King Henry decreed Nic must wed and that he did seem resigned to it.
Morgan had to agree. She hadn’t heard Nic complain about the royal decree a single time, and if she had learned anything about The McKinnon in the time they had spent together, it was that he was loyal to Henry and would follow the king’s decree to wed. However, that loyalty wouldn’t ensure he would do so meekly or quietly if it didn’t suit his plan or desires.
That brought her to one conclusion: Nic wanted his bride. That left her out of the running, but she could be his friend. Beyond that, she would never have him. She steeled herself against the sudden pain of the realization that once he wed, he would be gone from her life, no matter how much she deluded herself into thinking that they could remain friends.
Morgan had realized something that morning just before he kissed her. Nic could be the one man to steal her heart, and he was the one man she could never have. Deep inside, Morgan already knew she would suffer his loss in her life.