“Morgan, you do know me. I won’t be cruel to you. I won’t lock you in the tower room or in the cellar. And since you already have a husband there can be no other. The king will not allow it, nor will I. I made a promise to you, and I’m prepared to let you have your freedom. The marriage will stand, so the only thing to do will be to let you live your own life free of me. I have already asked the king to speak to the pope on our behalf for an annulment, but Henry has refused since we freely consummated the marriage.”
“Well, at least one of us was freely consummating a marriage. I was just being a romantic little fool.” Then what he had said sank in. “You are seeking an annulment?” she asked feeling shock and even more wounded by the situation.
“Aye, yes. But it’s not my true desire and an annulment is most unlikely to be granted. I’m especially thankful it won’t be given your uncle’s disposition to violence. There are ways we can work this out to your satisfaction and keep Henry happy with the situation.” Not that I’m happy about leaving her, he thought.
“So you’re leaving me at Seabridge and going about your merry way? You’re free to go about your business unfettered by a wife. Yet, I on the other hand am not free.”
“It’s what you wanted,” Nic countered.
“Nay, Nic, it isn’t. I would sit behind walls of stone year after year in a castle I despise, and you dare to call that freedom? Nic, you have accomplished nothing because after ten years if I have no children, the king could marry me off again, anyway. Unless we have children, your gallant gesture is for nothing, and at this point, it’s very probable we’ll never have babies because I wouldn’t let you near me if my life depended on it!”
Her defense mechanisms began failing her for the first time in years. Her chest felt tight, her head pounded, and pulse raced. As she looked at her husband, realization dawned.
The silence was deafening as Morgan walked over to Nic. Crossing her arms, calmly and slightly, she cocked her head to the side.
“I was the nasty business you were coming to take care of at Seabridge before heading to your home in the north.”
“You were to be my bride. I was on my way to claim you.”
“Tell me, McKinnon, exactly when did you realize I wasn’t a boy?” She needed the total truth from him.
“It’s of no consequence when I figured it out.”
“Who are you to say it’s of no consequence? It’s of consequence to me! When, Nic?”
“Morgan, will you please just let it go?” Nic asked.
“Why should I let it go? When?” she demanded.
“From the moment you gave me your name.” Nic’s flat reply couldn’t have hurt her any more.
She looked into his eyes. Yes, she saw remorse. She didn’t care if Nic had finally decided to confess or that he was sorry.
She felt like the fool in a game she would never win. And for the first time in her life, Morgan knew bone-deep resentment. She felt resentment for being a woman, resentment for her parents dying, resentment for her king not living up to his word, and resentment at her husband for not being honest with her.
“You knew and you played with me. I guess you felt that was for my own good as well?” She didn’t wait for an answer, already knowing what the answer would be. “So, you were on your way not to claim Morgan Pembridge. You were on your way to lay claim to the prize I was to give you. The reward was the title of Duke of Seabridge and all the spoils for your honorable and faithful service to our king. You were on your way to claim a piece of land. You couldn’t have cared any less about the woman behind the walls.” Morgan’s heart hurt.
“Morgan, how was I to know you would be so perfect for me?” Nic asked, knowing she was hitting very close to the truth of that day on the road to Seabridge.
“You never had any intention of living with me, did you? You were on your way to your lands in the north when you found me. You said you had nasty business to attend to before continuing north. You were going to marry me and then go on your merry way. Therefore, either way, you get your freedom. I bet you’re sorry you married me since I lived.” Morgan let the tears softly flow, making no attempt to stop them.
“Do not speak thusly,” Nic said as he pulled her into his embrace. “I’m verray sorry our marriage happened the way it did, but I’m not sorry for the act. That, Morgan, I’ll never be.”
She eased out of his arms. Nic felt her slipping away from him.
“Nay, I’m sure you aren’t. Why should you be? You have total and irrefutable claim to one of the largest and most prosperous dukedoms in the entire king’s realm. You’re an extremely wealthy man because of this joining of our bodies. For a second-born son with no prospects of land of his own, this is quite a coup, would you not say, my lord?” There was one last questions burning for an answer. “Who else knows of our marriage?”
Nic didn’t answer. What could he say?
“So, that’s how it is. I’m the last to know.”
It was a statement, not a question. Once again she began to pace the room, and then she stopped and slowly turned to face her husband. “You asked me to trust you, McKinnon. I did. Such the fool I have become. You have taught me a valuable lesson today. I guess I should thank you.”
Nic saw her erecting emotional walls around her heart, the drawbridges lifting and the portcullis descending. Not only was she emotionally slipping away from him, but he was losing her. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her stiff shoulders.
“Morgan, I leave in hours. Please don’t leave it like this between us. There’s much to talk about. We need to settle where you will stay until I get back. You’re my wife and I want you somewhere safe. I could be gone for months.” The silence was drawing out between them. “Morgan, please, say something.”
She stepped away, tears of agony and betrayal streaming down her face. Reaching up, she pulled the cross off her neck. Taking his hand, she gently laid the cross into his palm. Had it been a dagger, he would have taken it and pierced his heart, so great was the guilt that he felt.
“Morgan, forgive me.”
“Nic, you just don’t see. It isn’t a matter of forgiveness. That you already have from me. It’s a matter of trust.” She paused, not knowing what to do next. “Your men are waiting,” she said after taking a deep breath for courage and strength. “Go.”
Holding that symbol of his promise to protect and cherish her, his clenched fist dropped to his side. He studied her face as he would any opponent for any sign of relenting. When he saw none, he knew retreat was his only option. He had lost the battle and wasn’t so sure he hadn’t already lost the war.
“Nic, I need time,” Morgan said, knowing that commodity was all that stood between her and total heartache.
“As you wish, my bonnie lass,” he said, quietly giving her a sweeping bow and gently closed the door behind him.
She felt her world collapse on her as the latch quietly clicked shut.
Chapter 33
“Cullen, you must stay here and keep an eye on her. I’ve hurt her deeply,” Nic confessed. He could no longer hear any movement through the bedroom door as he had when he stood in front of it during two previous attempts to talk to her.
“I told you so,” Cullen said, hating to be the one to say he told him what was going to happen. Cullen knew Morgan was the one to suffer for it, and over the last few weeks, he had come to care for her a great deal. “So, Lady Morgan didn’t take kindly to being played the fool?”
Nic nodded. “Nay, she didn’t. I’m afraid I may have lost her. She erected defenses around herself which have been honed from years of practice, and unfortunately, I’m not in a position to lay siege to her and dig in for a long campaign to win her back.”
“Well, at least the truth is out in the open, and she’ll come to terms. Morgan is intelligent and she does care about you. You’ll have to give her time, Nic.”
“That’s what she asked for. She trusted me, Cullen, and I threw that trust away.” Nic ran his han
ds through his hair again. “Will you stay?” he asked Cullen. “I know guard duty isn’t what a young man would like in a detail, but I have need of a trusted man to keep her safe.”
Cullen shrugged as if it were a foregone conclusion. “She’s important to you. So I’ll stay. Nevertheless, I would’ve stayed anyway, even had you not asked. She’s important to me, too, and I’m well aware of the dangers still posed to her. You have no choice but to go. It’s logical that I stay behind and watch the lass in your stead.”
Nic began to scowl at his younger sibling. He had never experienced rivalry with Cullen before, but he wasn’t going to leave Morgan in her current state of vulnerability so a man could take advantage of her. In addition, Nic knew she liked Cullen a great deal. She may love him as her husband, but understandably, she didn’t like him at the moment.
“Now, pray, Nic, don’t look at me like that. Aye, I love her, but not as you love her. She’s your wife. We’re family.”
Nic surveyed his younger brother’s face and saw nothing there to give him pause, and at this point, Nic had no choice. His king had called him to arms. Morgan could not come with him. Leaving her behind was the only option he had available to him.
Nic tried the outer door to her chamber and found it unlocked. A wave of panic struck him hard and he began thinking she had fled the castle. However, as he looked around, he found her things were still in place and the tray of untouched food sat where it had been placed.
She must have let the servants in to deliver the food and failed to bolt the door behind them. For so many years, she had others locking her in, and it must not always occur to her to do the locking herself. He made a mental note to tell Cullen to watch for that.
He saw her bedroom door ajar and quietly made his way across the room to see if by chance he could have one last chance to talk to her. He hated leaving with things as they were between them. Expecting another bout of words with her, he slowly pushed open the door. He didn’t see her at first. Then he spotted her on the floor by the fire.
Nic smiled ruefully. Things have come full circle, he thought, kneeling down and carefully picking up his exhausted bride from her pallet. He gently laid her on the same bed on which he had declared his love to her.
Maybe it was not too late for them. Quickly, he drew out parchment and ink and followed his heart.
Morgan,
My Wife, My Heart, I love you.
Remember my words: I would do it all again.
Nic
He placed the note on the pillow next to her. It ripped at his heart to know he was the cause of her distress. Maybe he would do it all again, but he certainly would do it differently. Cullen said she would see the light, and he had to have faith in Cullen’s words.
Quickly, Nic pulled off his cross and put it next to the note. Lovingly, he brushed her locks back from her forehead as he leaned down and kissed her tenderly.
Standing beside the bed, Nic wondered if he would ever see her again. It had never bothered him before to go do his duty for his king. It never occurred to him he had any reason not to go. He knew that he had no choice other than to answer his king’s calling, so go he would. However, now he had a reason to come home. As he looked down at his sleeping wife, he vowed to return to her.
Cullen was waiting for him as he exited the private chamber.
“She’s sleeping. I didn’t wake her. Make sure she locks her door, Cullen. She doesn’t think about it. This is twice that I have been able to walk into her room unannounced.”
Cullen nodded.
Nic looked back at the closed door. “I have to go. I can’t delay any longer. The men are waiting.”
“Good luck and Godspeed. You take care of yourself. You have a wife to come back to now.”
“I have to go, Cullen.” Nic gave the door one last look. “Guard her well. She has become my world.”
“Just give her time, Nic. Just give her time.” Cullen smiled at his brother as they clasped wrists. Pulling Cullen to him, Nic gave Cullen a hearty hug and left him standing outside Morgan’s door.
~*****~
In the outer bailey, Nic’s men were standing ready for his order to move out. He was making his way to Trojan when he swore he heard someone calling his name in the distance. Did he dare hope Morgan had come to see him off?
Turning, he saw Lady Elizabeth, one of the king’s wards, rushing toward him. In total abandon, she threw herself into his arms and unashamedly kissed him full on the lips. Nic pulled away from her.
“Oh, Nic, I just couldn’t allow ye to leave without saying goodbye. I love ye, and I will wait for ye to return, I promise,” she said with great show of feeling and a little tear for the dramatics of it. Nic didn’t see her look past him and smile in satisfaction.
He quickly pulled away by taking a single step back but left his hands resting on her waist as a way to keep her from closing the gap. He looked down at this beautiful, young woman and thought how foolish she was. Not long ago he had fully taken what she was freely offering.
Nic had found through his twenty-nine years the only constant in life was change and things had changed for him. For better or worse, his life had changed. However, more importantly, he had changed. He knew where his life’s blood flowed and it was to Morgan. His desire was only for her.
“Lady Elizabeth, I have a wife, and it’s only her to whom I wish to return. Please, do not do this on my account. You’re a beautiful, young woman. And there will be a man privileged enough to have ya, lass, but I’m not that man.”
With those words, he turned. Mounting Trojan in one graceful movement, he unsheathed his sword and held it high, shouting to his troops with all the authority he controlled. “Men, for king, for country, let us be away! The sooner we leave, the sooner we return to those who bring us home again!”
They were off like thunder, moving through the courtyard and out past the gates.
For king, for country, to war.
End Part 1
###########
Part 2 Available at all major retailers
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Contact the Author
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Other Series by Ranay James
The McKinnon Legends A Time Travel Series
The McKinnon American Men A Romantic Suspense Series
Vampires Of Nirvana is a ten part series that with each book will leave you begging for more. If you love the McKinnons, then you are going to love the royal family of Nirvana.
Print Editions available:
Vampires of Nirvana:Book 1- Never Kiss Me Goodbye
Print Coming Winter 2016
Vampires of Nirvana: Book 2 - Point of No Return
Vampires of Nirvana Book 1 - Never Kiss Me Goodbye (Large Print Edition)
Vampires of Nirvana Book 2 - Point of No Return (Large Print Edition)
The McKinnon The Beginning: Book 1 Part
The McKinnon The Beginning: Book 1 Part 1 (Large Print Edition)
The McKinnon The Beginning: Book 1 Part 2
Unfinished Business: Book 2 Part 1
Unfinished Business: Book 2 Part 2
Audio Editions Available Fall 2015:
The McKinnon The Beginning: Book 1 Part 1 and 2
Unfinished Business: Book 2 Part 1 and 2
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About The Author
Ranay James moved to a small farm in East Texas along with her husband and two dogs after walking away from the fast-paced corporate life in 2012.
Ranay graduated from college majoring in accounting and finance with a minor in business management and law. This is very concrete subject matter as a major. Becom
ing a romance writer seems a most unlikely path for a woman who spent most of her career managing people and operational practices within the corporate environment.
It all began in 2004 on New Year's Day. Having made a list of things that she wanted to accomplish for the year, she added some items to that list that would push her skill set, and take her out of her comfort zone. Learning to speak Spanish and write a novel were the two items that she felt would stretch her abilities the most, having no prior training in either. Later that day, Ranay sat down at her computer. Looking at that blank Word document, she simply wrote the first thing that came into her mind.
“What were you thinking?” she wrote, having remembered the line from a dream she had in a hotel room in Houston, Texas in 2002. Several chapters in, Ranay found her voice as the story began to form. It poured out from a place that she never knew existed. Ranay began to write that day in 2004 and simply never stopped.
With twelve published works to her name, and nine more completed awaiting publication, Ranay has found a new passion—the love of storytelling and sharing her characters with the world.
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Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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