I really wished A1 was with me. In fact, I wished he was here instead of me. I'm just not cut out for diplomacy and arguing the toss. I didn't have the authority to conduct these talks and they knew it. That's why they kept me hanging around and every few minutes would send somebody to stick their head around the door and sneer at me.
Still, I wasn't going to stoop to their level. Instead I kept myself busy by having a good listen to much of the building and recording anything of interest.
There was nothing significant to T14 but I had sod all else to do so I carried on listening. The ambassador was clearly having an affair with his secretary, of all the cliches, and committing some kind of minor financial misdemeanours.
After more than an hour of this childish shit I was ready to call it quits and walk out. Maybe somebody spying on me saw me pick up my coat and look theatrically at my watch because a few seconds later the ambassador finally appeared.
"My profuse apologies," he said with a smile that clearly indicated he meant the exact opposite, "there has been much important business today."
"Yes," I thought, "you've been fiddling your expenses and your secretary. Talk about multitasking."
I entered the room and he seemed disappointed that its opulence didn't visibly impress me.
"Please take a seat," he said, before proceeding to waste another few minutes of my time in an attempt to humiliate me further. Eventually I opened my briefcase and took out a newspaper and he finally began to talk.
"There is not very much for us to discuss," he said flatly. "My country is deeply offended at your callous murdering of our brother citizens."
"Then they shouldn't have gone on a global spree of sabotage and murder," I replied equally flatly.
He smiled thinly.
"This is not the time for a theological debate."
Had I said it was?
"The point is," he continued, "that we are demanding the release of our prisoners and the bodies of those you murdered."
"That will not be happening," I said, "our investigation is ongoing."
"In that case," he said, standing up in a manner which indicated that the meeting was at an end, "your infidel country will feel the full wrath of Iran."
"Cut the crap, what are you threatening us with?"
"You will soon see. All of you will soon see."
"And that is your final word. You are not interested in negotiations of any kind?"
"We do not negotiate with the lackey of the infidels."
"If we're all so corrupt why do you have an embassy here. Why are you in our country? And why, if you're so holier than though, are you shagging that blond, white woman who, if I'm not mistaken, is one of our corrupt, infidel, western, capitalist pig dogs?"
I can't describe the look he gave me, it was like nothing I've ever seen on a human face before. He was obviously very shocked that I knew his secret but I think I made a mistake in telling him because there was no way I could possibly know this. No human way. Therefore, I think the look partly meant something along the lines of 'I am clearly face to face with the devil'. Yes, probably something like that.