Guinevere began to laugh, a sinister sound that sent a chill down his back. She laughed as though mocking him, a noise he’d heard often. She threw the baby at him. He tried to catch the child, but his arms wouldn’t move fast enough. But instead of falling to the ground, the baby disintegrated into dust and blew out the open window.
His wife continued to laugh at him. Then she sneered. “No one could ever love you. Look at you. You’re hideous.” She lunged toward him, her silk dress glimmering in the sunlight that streamed through the window. Her hands wrapped around his neck and she began choking him, pressing hard against his throat. He couldn’t breathe, and he couldn’t seem to lift his hands to fight her. He was suffocating, hurting, dying.
Ranulf opened his eyes and gasped. His own hand was at his throat, and he realized he’d been dreaming.
He swallowed, his throat sore, as if Guinevere had truly been choking him. He could see his wife’s eyes as she attacked him, bloody and animallike, and he shuddered.
Will I ever be free from this nightmare? Free from the hold she has over me? Tears squeezed from the corners of his eyes. He flung them away angrily. Even in death, she had the power to make him feel like he was repulsive.
Chapter
6
When Sunday came, Annabel put on her best dress and tied her white-linen covering around her hair. With the rest of the servants, she headed down the lane toward the square tower of the old stone church, just visible over the trees. Each member of the lord’s household was required to attend Mass every Sunday, unless they could prove, or successfully feign, sickness.
The small parish church was the most noteworthy building in Glynval, but was naught in comparison to the abbey churches and cathedrals in and around London. Nevertheless, the maidens all grew quiet as they entered the high-ceilinged nave, genuflected, and crossed themselves. Then they each found a spot to kneel.
As Annabel knelt to pray, she pictured herself in St. Paul’s Cathedral, with its beautiful stained glass windows depicting various biblical stories. She almost believed she was there — until she opened her eyes and beheld the stark gray walls and the one murky mural over the chancel arch, featuring the devil and his demons casting people into hellfire.
The bells began to ring and Annabel bowed her head and prayed silently, thanking God for the day’s respite from work, for Mistress Eustacia’s kindness to her, and for Lord le Wyse not punishing her for breaching his privacy. She hoped from now on she could keep her distance from him and remain unnoticed in the large crowd of servants.
The parish priest, Sir Matefrid, plodded down the aisle, a crucifix in one hand, his censer in the other. He wore a long velvet robe, the same one he wore every Sunday, with a chain around his neck that hung so low the attached crucifix rested on his protruding belly. His face bore no wrinkles and very little gray sprinkled his brown hair, but the way he stooped gave him the appearance of a much older man.
Annabel’s heart beat faster as she watched him, thinking of the question she would to put to him after Mass. O Father God, please let him say yes.
Sir Matefrid had barely reached the front of the sanctuary when Lord le Wyse strode in, bowed toward the altar, and, without looking up, took his place with the rest of the kneelers just to Annabel’s left. Unable to curb her curiosity, her eyes devoured his richly embroidered waistcoat, trimmed in crimson velvet, and his crisp white sleeves. The ornate clothing did not surprise her, but his behavior once he was kneeling did. He clasped his hands, his eyes shut, his lips moving silently in prayer. His brow furrowed in concentration as he leaned forward, looking truly humble.
Glancing around, Annabel saw nearly everyone she knew, including Stephen, who knelt beside his mother. Adam stood, fidgeting restlessly beside his father, while Gilbert talked with one of the masonry workers. Margery knelt nearby, but her much-older husband, the miller, was not beside her, as he rarely ever graced the small church with his presence. Margery was whispering intently with two other maidens. Annabel watched them for a moment as they hid a laugh behind a hand or yawned and looked around.
Hardly anyone, besides Lord le Wyse, even pretended to pray.
The priest took his place before the altar and the boys of the choir began to sing a plainsong hymn in Latin. Thanks to her father’s teaching, she was able to translate the words in her head, in spite of the choirboys’ bad pronunciation.
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.
Annabel thought the chorus rather ironic, since no one looked the least like they were actually rejoicing. Some appeared solemn, including Lord le Wyse, who stared straight ahead.
O come, thou rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save
And give them victory o’er the grave.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.
“Rejoice,” the song instructed. How would everyone react if she suddenly burst into an exclamation of joy? She imagined the rest of the crowd gasping in astonishment and Sir Matefrid’s face turning red with outrage, that purplish vein in his neck bulging.
But the song commanded it. Did God want her to rejoice? Was that in the Holy Scriptures? O Father God, give me a Bible. Please let Sir Matefrid say yes.
As the boys’ choir ended their singing, the paunchy, middle-aged priest began to speak. They all stood. Rather than becoming respectfully silent, however, the crowd of a hundred or so began chatting among themselves. A baby cried lustily, drowning out the priest’s words for several moments. A brother and sister a few feet in front of Annabel began to fight, punctuating the sermon with squeals of anger before the mother clouted them both, her blows echoing through the high-arcing nave.
Sir Matefrid didn’t seem to notice these distractions. He began in the usual way, making the point that women were evil, enticing men to sin with their wily feminine ways. It was the same way he began all of his sermons.
Annabel kept her eyes on the floor so no one would see the anger and contempt that coursed through her and probably showed in her eyes. Was this how the Bible read? Surely not. Surely it did not revile and condemn in such a manner. She wanted to know. She had to know.
He went on, as always, to denounce unmarried men — forgetting that he was one himself?—speaking of their passions and lusts, of how they only sought to satisfy their flesh.
She was glad when he finished his sermon and began the Eucharist. He spoke in Latin, which Annabel understood easily, but she knew the rest of the congregation did not know what the priest was saying. Glancing around, she noticed that the few people who were not talking to their neighbor had a glazed look in their eyes.
She chided herself for her own wandering mind and closed her eyes to better concentrate, to imagine the Christ on the cross, dying for her sins.
After Holy Communion, Lord le Wyse turned and strode out the door as quickly as he’d entered. The rest of the parishioners began to file out in a more leisurely manner, continuing the same conversations they’d engaged in throughout the service. She stood still, hoping no one would notice her in the shadows about the wall. She watched the priest as he puttered around, putting away the elements of the Eucharist and speaking with the boys of the choir and altar.
Finally, after everyone else had exited the building, she scurried forward to catch Sir Matefrid before he quitted the sanctuary.
“Yes?” He stared at her, a frown pulling down the corners of his mouth.
Her heart fluttered up to her throat and her face flushed hot, but her intense desire overrode her nervousness. She curtsied as her mother had taught her to do before a man of rank, and when she glanced up at him was careful not to look him in the eye, since she knew he found this disrespectful. “Sir Matefrid, sir, I wish
to know what God has said in the Holy Writ. If you would but loan me your Bible, I will swear an oath not to harm it and to return it as soon as you wish. Will you allow me to borrow this book?” She lowered her head, awaiting his reply.
“Young woman.”
She glanced up again. He raised his eyebrows, but her momentary hope was crushed as he brought them down in a harsh glower.
“I cannot imagine where you picked up such a fanciful notion. That I should turn over a precious Bible to you.” He snorted and shook his head.
“But please, you don’t understand.” She felt panic rise inside her. She clasped her hands and leaned toward him. “I promise my motives are pure. I only want to read it. Surely there can be naught wrong with that.”
He backed away a step, his face beginning to turn red.
She realized she was staring and cast her eyes down at the stone floor.
“I am not at all sure your motives are pure. A woman reading the Word of God? Are you able to interpret the Scriptures? You aren’t even dedicated to God. Never said your vows. Nay. You are to rely upon your priest to give you the interpretation of God’s Word. I will tell you what you need to know.” He gruffly cleared his throat.
What? That men and women are disgusting in their lusts and care for no one but themselves? “I wish to read it. Please.” Her voice began to tremble. “Will you not allow me to come to the church, to read it here on Sundays after Mass?”
“Girl, you are impudent. Remember your place.”
Annabel realized she’d balled up her fists. She should leave before this priest insulted her further and she lost her tenuous control over her frustration. But before she turned away, something prompted her to ask, “Do you have a copy of the Holy Writ?”
“Nay, as a matter of fact, I don’t.” He spat the words at her. “So you see, I cannot satisfy your silly whim even if I were so inclined, which I am not. You must say ten Ave’s to absolve yourself of your insolence today. May your penitence be swift and sincere, or I cannot say what shall come of such … such wicked boldness.” He turned and stalked away.
Annabel felt heat creep up from deep inside. I am not wicked. She turned and stalked down the aisle of the church.
She should have known! A man who preached the kind of sermons he did could not even know what God’s Word said. He doesn’t have a Bible. The unfathomable words went through her mind over and over.
The man who proposed to teach her God’s will did not even have a Bible.
She stopped at the door, feeling that anyone could take one look at her face and see how angry and upset she felt. She stood unmoving, her hand on her chest as she waited to get her breathing under control.
Finally, taking one last steadying breath, she pulled her white headscarf closer about her face and stepped out.
She immediately saw Lord le Wyse astride his horse several feet away, as though he was waiting for her, and looked down so as not to meet his eye. He probably wants to make sure I stay where I belong. She walked briskly, hoping to catch up with the rest of the servants and workers.
Then she spotted Bailiff Tom twenty feet ahead of her, standing by the side of the road with another man, watching her. He reminded her of a fox with its tongue hanging out, staring at the henhouse. Out of the corner of her eye, as she pretended to look down at the ground, Tom elbowed the man beside him and nodded at Annabel.
She moved over as she passed the two men, angry that he had the power to make her afraid.
Continuing to walk as fast as she could, she could hear Tom and his friend walking not far behind her, muttering. What were the two of them planning? She heard only snatches of their conversation: “high and haughty,” “too good,” “get her alone,” “nothing but a — “
Horse’s hooves clopped at a trot not far behind. Annabel glanced over her shoulder. Lord le Wyse was getting closer. Would he ride on ahead? If he did, she would be left behind with these two men following her.
Her heart pounded hard and fast in her throat. Lord le Wyse closed the distance, but instead of riding ahead, he placed himself between Bailiff Tom and Annabel.
She glanced back at Lord le Wyse. When he ignored her, she turned around and continued walking.
After escorting Annabel and the other servants home after Mass, Ranulf urged his horse into a run as he took a small path across a meadow and over a hill toward the river. Finally, he slowed the horse to a trot and patted Shadow’s neck. He surveyed the undulating countryside, green and lush along the river bank, despite the lack of summer rain. The river shimmered and tripped over short, rocky falls and wound around bends and through bogs where bluebells bloomed on the banks. He couldn’t have chosen a more picturesque village for his new home.
Guinevere would have hated it.
Just thinking her name sent a painful, sick feeling through his gut. But he’d learned to live with the pain, to think of it as a helpful reminder to him to never be so foolish again.
It was good to be away from the too-familiar paths and discover a new, as yet unspoiled place. If such a place existed.
Glynval was the location he had run to, an area where he intended to live at low ebb, flow with the simple rhythm of village life, breathe fresh air, and keep aloof. His peace would come from the natural beauty of the countryside, from his own independence and freedom. There would be nothing and no one to stir strong feelings of any kind.
His plan wasn’t working so well.
His mind went back to the girl, the merchant’s daughter — he refused to think her name — who had been forced, by him and by her lazy family, into his service. She couldn’t even walk home from Sunday Mass without attracting the wrong kind of attention — but perhaps that had been her intention. Perhaps she’d allowed herself to fall behind the rest of the maids for some perverse reason.
That thought made a growl rise up in Ranulf’s throat.
Even his master mason, Gilbert, was smitten with her. The bailiff certainly had an unhealthy interest.
But the girl seemed afraid of the bailiff. He would have to have a talk with Bailiff Tom and warn him to leave her alone and stop following her around, now that she had made it clear she had no wish to marry him.
Ranulf hated to think it, but the maiden haunted him too, and he of all people should know better. Her perfect features, her beautiful blue eyes, and her blonde hair waving about her shoulders … but it was her kindness to others, her quiet nature and the way she performed her duties with meekness and without ceremony that had caught his attention.
He scowled at his foolish idiocy, noticing a woman’s beauty, especially a servant’s.
He remembered his anger when he’d caught her looking at his paintings behind his privacy screen. Recalled her impertinence.
But intelligence sparkled in her expression, and she was too well spoken to have been born to servanthood. Rather, she’d been born a freeman’s daughter and probably had been trained to marry a free burgher or even a landed knight. Her mother was the daughter of a knight, and her father was a wealthy merchant, until fate had turned against him.
How well Ranulf knew about heartless twists of fate.
But she was indeed a servant, and he wasn’t the type of lord to dwell on a servant’s fairness of face and graceful movements. He resolved to cast her from his mind. Of course, he could also leave this place and find a new village. He’d already made good progress on building his new home, and people would say he’d lost his mind, but why should he care?
Ranulf didn’t want to leave, but he also didn’t want to let the young woman haunt him. He was haunted enough as it was. His wife, dead these three years, had also been beautiful. And she’d used her beauty like a dagger.
Beautiful women weren’t to be trusted or allowed into a man’s heart when that man was less than perfect. He’d learned that lesson well.
Annabel was readying the upper hall for supper when Lord le Wyse entered. He seemed to be in his usual grim mood. With the door open behind him, she once again
caught sight of the sky, which had bruised blue and purple with clouds and threatened rain. The lord instructed Mistress Eustacia not to prepare anything special for him. He would eat the same simple fare as everyone else.
As the storm approached, Mistress Eustacia brought in torches and set them in the wall sconces so that they could see to eat. The final sconce was lit as the servants trickled in for their meal of bread and cheese. Annabel felt Lord le Wyse’s gaze on her as she seated herself near the other end of the table. Bailiff Tom kept looking at her, and Gilbert Carpenter did as well, but she pretended not to notice them. Why did she always have to eat her food with an audience of men staring at her? It was beyond irritating.
Lord le Wyse’s mood seemed to grow blacker during the meal, and he growled at a serving girl who spilled ale on the table and didn’t wipe it up quickly enough.
Annabel helped Mistress Eustacia clear away the leftovers while most of the other servants remained in the hall, including Bailiff Tom and Gilbert Carpenter, who talked quietly near a corner of the room.
To keep her mind from the two men’s conversation, Annabel began to speculate on what Lord le Wyse thought of the day’s sermon. Was he accustomed to more uplifting messages? Did his priest back in Lincoln give more intellectual sermons?
While the servants and workers talked or went about their duties, Lord le Wyse suddenly cleared his throat, jarring Annabel from her thoughts.
Everyone became quiet as all eyes focused on him, waiting for what he would say. He looked around the room, scowling darkly — his usual expression.
“I desire reading,” he declared in a loud voice. “Does anyone here know how to read?”
They all continued staring at him, not saying anything. His scowl deepened. Annabel’s tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She would have to speak up if no one else did.
Given his wealth and station, it was almost certain Lord le Wyse knew how to read himself, but perhaps at night, in dim light, it would be difficult with only one eye.