It wasn’t just her approach that left me reeling, head pounding, I realized. It was her energy. A familiar energy that startled me. An energy that put me at ease and made me nervous at the same time. Confused, I sat up slowly, setting my feet upon the dusty carpet and watched warily as she moved by me toward the windows. In the shadows, she looked so much like my mom that it hurt. The numbness in my body gave way to a tightness in my chest, a suffocating sadness that made my fingers curl into the bedspread.
“So nice to see you,” I snapped, irate that she was here after never visiting, angrier that she brought with memories of Mom. Just when I was getting over her death, she had to remind me. “If you’re here for the funeral, you’re a little late.”
“I had to miss it. There were things going on.” Her voice was similar to Mom’s but huskier. What, I wondered, could be more important than your only sibling’s funeral? Damn, she was cold. Maybe that’s where I got my lack of emotion; it hadn’t been learned through life experiences but had been inherited.
“You had things?” I surged to my feet. Mom deserved better than her. She’d deserved better than the small private funeral with only me, Lewis, Cameron, and Father Myron. A funeral without a body. No cemetery, no headstone.
“Fine, you want the truth?” She didn’t even glance my way, but continued to stare out the window as if it wasn’t important enough to bother with eye contact. “I stayed away to protect you.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, not buying her martyr act in the least. “And before? Where have you been all these years?”
I admit I was angry. Angry at everyone, and no one. So tired of the lies, tired of not knowing who to trust, tired of never being able to relax, and just be. When I’d needed an aunt the most, someone to take over the responsibilities, she should have been there for me.
She shrugged, as if abandoning me was no big deal. “You know how our lives are.”
I narrowed my eyes. Her blasé attitude hurt, not that I’d let her see how much it affected me. Did I really mean so little? If so, then what the hell was she doing here now? “What, exactly? Explain to me how our lives are so I can understand.”
She sighed and faced me. “Nora, your mom gave up Cameron, her own daughter.” Flustered, she paced the room. Her steps were longer than Mom’s, more hurried. Her entire being pulsed with the frantic need to move, while Mom had been the calm in the storm. She had dark hair, blue eyes, but she wasn’t my mom. And I hated her for that most of all.
She ran her fingers through her hair. “You know how it is. Your mother thought it would be safer if we split up.”
She wasn’t saying something. I could almost sense the reluctance in her. I didn’t know how or why, but I knew she was hiding something. Big surprise, our lives revolved around half-truths. The sudden ache in my temples wasn’t surprising considering how frustrating my life had become. “Why?”
“Because I was a bit of a rebel.” She grinned a lopsided grin that looked eerily familiar…my grin. She was trying to bond with me, the two rebellious Winters girls. When I didn’t return her smile, she grew serious once more. “Your mom thought it would be too dangerous for you and Cameron to be around me.”
Too dangerous? I didn’t buy it. “She made you stay away?”
She shrugged.
I released a wry laugh, which left her looking rather leery. Like everyone else, she thought I was teetering on the edge of insanity. I held my arms wide, welcoming the madness. “I was captured, tortured. Mom was killed. How much worse could it have been if you’d been in our lives?”
She frowned and looked away, but not before I noticed the guilt in her eyes. “You were captured because they followed me to Savannah. It’s how they found you. It’s why your mom never forgave me.”
My amusement fled, my body going cold. Slowly, my mind turned over the past, trying to uncover long-buried memories. But the pieces didn’t fit, something didn’t make sense. “Your fault?”
She nodded uneasily. No. No, it didn’t make sense. If I had been caught because of her, that meant…
Frantic, I started toward her, determined to understand. “Which time?”
She shook her head, confused. “What?”
I latched onto her upper arms, desperate. “I was caught twice! The first time when I was young, and I got the scar. The second time I was older. Which time were you responsible?”
“I don’t—”
“Which?” I demanded, tightening my grip.
She jerked away from me, anger flashing across her face. I understood, she didn’t like to be touched, something else we had in common. But I didn’t care. “You were older. It was only a few years ago.”
Older. I had been older. I stumbled back and sank onto the bed. Maddox hadn’t turned me in? Maddox hadn’t followed me to Savannah and told them where I lived. All this time…
My aunt was talking, apologizing for what had happened, but I didn’t care. At the moment nothing mattered but the fact that Maddox hadn’t turned me in to S.P.I. He hadn’t betrayed me.
But he had, in a way, that voice inside my head reminded me. I frowned, knowing that voice was right. Determined, I hardened my heart. It didn’t change the fact that Maddox had stayed with them. Instead of coming with me, he had remained with the enemy. He was the enemy. I rubbed my temples, my brain throbbing. Hell, I didn’t know what to think anymore.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said.
It doesn’t matter, I repeated to myself. Yet it did matter so very much. I released a wry laugh. I needed to take my anger out on someone, might as well be her. “Right, I was tortured for a second time, but it doesn’t matter, because you know, when it’s happened once, the second time is a breeze! So why are you here now? Good ol’ family reunion? You finally decide to check up on your nieces?”
“Listen, we have more important things to discuss than whether I’ll be aunt of the year.” She crossed her arms over her chest, a stubborn look upon her face. “I have the source, Nora.”
The words should have been shocking. They weren’t. I swallowed hard. So she’d inherited Mom’s powers. It wasn’t surprising. I’d sensed Mom’s energy when she’d entered. The rest of them thought the power had died with Mom, but I knew better. Perhaps that’s why I was so eager to believe she still lived.
“When your mom died, her powers transferred to me.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling chilly, achy, almost like I had the flu. I so couldn’t afford to get sick now. Something wasn’t right. My aunt was talking, but I couldn’t really concentrate enough to hear her. My head throbbed, my reality threatening to slip away. She had Mom’s energy. Maddox hadn’t turned me in… So many thoughts whirled through my mind.
Suddenly she was standing right in front of me. “Nora, are you listening?”
I rubbed my temples, attempting to regain control, but I couldn’t. Everything was spinning, slipping away. “Yeah.”
“I am the source.”
I got it, what the hell did she want? A trophy? I parted my lips intending to tell her that I didn’t care, that I needed to rest, to leave, something, but she interrupted.
“That’s not all.”
I studied her warily, slowly lowering my hands from my head, only to wrap, my arms around myself. Cold. I was so cold. “What else?”
“The source has chosen the next person to inherit, the person I will transfer my powers to when I die.”
A shiver of unease raced over my skin. My mind was finally acknowledging what my body and senses had already. I knew, didn’t I? The way I’d been feeling, the odd powers I hadn’t had before, the way she was looking at me.
“It’s you, Nora. You have been chosen to be the next carrier of the source.”
Chapter 5
When I opened my eyes and found myself in a familiar locker room, I groaned. When I saw Maddox’s form sitting against the wall as if waiting for me, even expecting me, I groaned even louder. Not here. Not now. Not when I was so vulnerable.
>
I settled my elbows on the hard cement. “Wonderful, as if once wasn’t enough.”
He stood, grimacing with the movement. “Hey, we both know I don’t have any powers, so this is all your doing, Sweetheart.”
“What are you saying?” I demanded, using what little strength I had left to sit upright. The room spun, but I ignored it. Giving my body attention would only make it real. I would not lose control of my body and my mind. Not again. “You no longer think this is a dream?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s something more.”
I didn’t want to dwell on his words, but my aunt’s voice came wavering back to me.
“It’s you, Nora. You have been chosen to be the next carrier of the source.”
“Damn it.” When my mother had been alive, when she had been the carrier, Cameron had been next in line. But her death had shifted the power to my aunt, and indirectly to me. Me. I tucked my feet underneath me and stood. Obviously, Cameron still had her abilities, but they must have been coming from her father.
Why? Why had the universe picked me? I didn’t want the extra energy. I didn’t crave world domination like my dear dad. Hell, I hadn’t even been trained for the power. Yet I was next in line to inherit the source, whether I wanted it or not. And so I guess it all made sense…why I could mind travel. Why my brain felt fuzzy. Why I could sense things I hadn’t before.
I slid a glance Maddox’s way. He leaned against the wall, watching me warily. This was different than Cameron’s spying jaunts. I was actually bringing Maddox’s energy, his soul, whatever it was, with me.
Frustrated, I paced the room, stretching my stiff legs. Everything was a damn mess. Throughout my entire life, I’d known I wasn’t the special one. I’d accepted it long ago. I was the warrior in the family, the one who protected others. A guard. Brute strength and all of that. But now, Aunt Lyndsey was telling me that I would one day carry the source. I’d be a leader. It was a bit much to take in. I paused near the door.
The sad thing was that I wasn’t sure which was more shocking, the fact that I would one day carry the source, or that I was actually here, with Maddox. Annoyed, I turned to face him. Still way too sexy for his own good, even half-dead. Why? Why was I doing this? Why was I bringing him to me when I couldn’t even hear his name without flinching?
“I want out!” My voice echoed sharply against the hard walls.
“That helps,” he said dryly.
“Please,” I snarled. “Like you want to be stuck here with me anymore than I do you.”
He settled on a bench along the wall and grinned. “Actually, you’re much better than the wardens. Prettier, too.”
His flattery got him nowhere. Still, I could imagine what he was going through. I could, but I wouldn’t let myself. “Poor you. Sucks when your own people, the very people you trusted, betray you.”
He stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles. There was no guilt on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me.”
I narrowed my eyes. “And why would I?”
“Well, even if we dismiss our past, you’re a woman. And most people expect women to be kind, gentle, caring. But you aren’t most women, are you?”
A laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. “Kind, gentle?” Disconcerted, I turned my back to him, and I followed the walls, running my hands over the cement. There had to be a way out. “A myth, brought on by men.”
He sighed. “Or maybe a wish.”
Damn it all, I didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but falling into our easy banter was making my reserves crumble. I peeked over my shoulder. He’d closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. Hell, he looked defeated. “How many women have you known that were sympathetic?”
“Certainly not you.”
His words stung even as I realized that in our line of business, no one was warm and friendly. We were all reserved, untrusting. We had to be. “And why should I have any sympathy for the man who picked S.P.I. over me?”
He released a wry laugh. “You were so innocent? Let’s not forget that you were out to use me.”
“Before I knew you!”
He opened his eyes. “And that makes a difference?”
“It makes all the difference.”
We were silent for a long, long moment, both of us stewing in our righteous anger. He knew our situations were completely different. How dare he act as if we’d done the same thing. Yet, there was a part of me that wondered if my aunt was right? What if Maddox hadn’t turned me in? More importantly, did it matter?
“You have me defined?” he asked softly.
It was as if he could read my mind. Did he know I was questioning every damn thing in my life at the moment? Probably, he’d always seemed to know me better than I knew myself. “It’s pretty easy to read you, Maddox. You lived for S.P.I., and you’ll die for them. Even though they have betrayed you, you’ll give your life for them. You chose the wrong side. You chose the enemy.”
“According to you.”
My anger flared, and unable to stop myself, I stomped toward him. “According to what’s right and wrong.”
“And you’re so sure you’re right?”
I threw my arms wide. “You’re the proof, Maddox. You, in your cell.”
Top of his class, I knew he wasn’t stupid. Which meant he was so damn stubborn, he wouldn’t admit I was right. This was bullshit. I was finding a way out of here even if I had to kill myself doing it. I spun around and started toward the door.
“My half-sister and brother are the proof.”
“You know about them?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do.” I paused, the sudden tightness in my chest unbearable. I hadn’t actually known them, so why did I care? Because they were children, just children, and like so many others they didn’t deserve to be used because of S.P.I.’s sick addiction to power. “Just tell me they died peacefully.”
“They did.”
He hadn’t even paused, but I knew him well, too well. “Liar.”
I stared hard at the door. It would be so easy to open it and jump. I couldn’t die, right? I mean, it wasn’t my physical body that was here, just my energy, my soul. If there was one thing I remembered from science class it was that energy couldn’t be destroyed.
“Maybe,” Maddox said softly and slowly. “Maybe I’m not the monster you think I am.”
I released a wry laugh, not daring to face him, because there was a part of me that wondered if he was right. “I think I know you pretty well.”
“And how the hell do you think you escaped, Sweetheart?”
His words were spoken softly, but I still heard them. More mind games, or was he actually going to tell me the truth? I took in a deep, trembling breath. Despite wanting to ignore him, I had to know. “What do you mean?”
“You think it was serendipity that the door to your cell was unlocked? A coincidence that the guard near the fence was gone? Dumb luck that they didn’t even know you had escaped until an hour after?”
My heart slammed wildly against my ribcage, denying what he said. Maddox had made it possible for me to escape. No, it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. Slowly, I turned to face him, but I could read nothing, for he hid within the shadows. Always a mystery. “What are you implying?”
“I think you know what I’m implying.”
Neither of us spoke. Years of anger fought with the truth. He was claiming he’d helped me escape, but I couldn’t believe that. My heart wouldn’t let me. He’d broken my soul once, he wouldn’t do it again.
“The scar,” he said softly, almost gently. “Your scar.”
I automatically reached up to the line along the back of my head.
“You said it was a skiing accident. When I started working for S.P.I. and saw some of the procedures, I started to question your response. I realized—”
“You set me up,” I hissed.
“No.” He shook his head, looking more serious than I’d seen him
look in a long while. “I didn’t.”
“But you stayed,” I said, the words an accusation. “If you really wanted to help me, why stay?”
“Why do you think?”
No, no more half-answers. No more beating around the bush. I started toward him, but the intense pain in my head brought me up short. I cried out, stumbling. Suddenly he was there, wrapping a muscled arm around my waist, his touch so familiar that I automatically sank into him. He led me toward the bench, and because I couldn’t escape the pain, I let him.
“You okay, Nora?” he cupped the sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. The familiarity of his touch, his scent, the tone of his voice swept through me, warm and inviting. And it was easy, so damn easy to fall into those gray eyes, that gaze so concerned, so caring…I almost believed him.
But I couldn’t, damn it all, I couldn’t let myself fall for him. Not again. “Maddox, I—”
“You have to believe me.” His gaze slid from my eyes to my lips, and I lost my train of thought. I knew what would happen, but I didn’t pull away. When he tilted my head back and lowered his lips to mine, I merely closed my eyes. Just once. Just one more kiss…
“Nora?” someone called to me, the interruption like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head.
I jerked away from Maddox, searching for the owner of the voice. I didn’t want to leave. Okay, I didn’t want to leave Maddox. But it wasn’t because he’d just been about to kiss me. No, I had to know the truth before I left, because who knew if I’d be back. Desperate, I faced him once more. “Tell me.”
“What?”
“What did you do? How did I escape?”
“Nora,” that voice called again, pulling at me like a rope tied around my waist.
“Maddox,” I pleaded.
He parted his lips to respond, the words coming out muffled, inaudible.
“Maddox?” But the room began to fade. I tried to reach out, but my body was gone. Maddox shimmered away, along with the virtual reality I’d somehow created.