********
“Are you relaxed?” Aaron asked as he settled on the floor across from me.
I shrugged. As relaxed as I could be in a room with a man I barely knew and a guy I had a crush on. I slid Lewis a glance. He, too, was seated on the floor but a few feet away from me, half hidden in the shadows. He looked so serious and he was so cute when he was serious. Obviously he wasn’t reading my mind or he’d be laughing right now.
“Okay,” Aaron started. “Close your eyes.”
I felt sort of silly, but I did as was told.
“Deep breath in, deep breath out. Again. Feel your body relax.”
I knew I looked like some sort of meditative Buddhist with my legs crossed and my arms resting on my thighs, but I wasn’t a very good Buddhist. I tried to sit up straight in an imitation of a beautiful lotus flower, as my meditative tape had suggested earlier. But sitting straight hurt and so I was sort of curved like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So much for being a flower.
“Cameron.” Was that a note of warning in Aaron’s voice? Crap, he knew I wasn’t paying attention. “I’m going to count backwards. Five. Deep breath in. Four. Breathe out. Three. Deep breath in. You’re becoming more relaxed with each breath. Two. And one. Now picture yourself somewhere you love. Somewhere that makes you feel relaxed. A meadow, a lake, the ocean…”
Immediately, the ocean came to mind… the waves crashing against the shore… the very spot where Savannah was found. Her gray body flashed behind my eyelids. “No.” I hadn’t realized I said the word aloud, until Aaron reached out, resting his warm hand on mine, bringing me back into reality.
“Concentrate. You’re here, at the estate. You’re completely safe. Did you see the beach from your window this morning?”
I nodded, my eyes still closed, but my heart racing.
“Good, picture yourself on that beach. It’s summer. It’s warm. Yellow wildflowers are sprouting out of the dunes, white butterflies floating on the breeze. Do you see it?”
I saw it, everything he said. I wasn’t sure if he was implanting those pictures in my head or not, but it didn’t matter. The images called to me, calmed my racing mind.
“You’re lying down in the sand, on a blanket. Do you hear the ocean waves? Roaring in…out…in…out. You’ve closed your eyes, the sun is warm on your skin.” He was silent for a moment, letting the picture sink in. “You feel drowsy, but you’re not sleeping.”
I was there. The library room was gone. Lewis was gone. Aaron was just a vague rumbling voice in the background of loveliness that had become my reality. I didn’t want to leave this place, not ever. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to do anything.
“Focus on those waves,” Aaron said softly.
I did so easily. I’d always loved the sound of the beach, that soft roar that drowned out everything else in life. The mystery of the deep waters.
“Take a breath in, breath out.” Aaron was suddenly gone, replaced with a deeper voice, an unfamiliar voice that spoke directly beside me.
Confused, but too numb to be afraid, I turned my head. My dad sat next to me, grinning down with a warmth that invaded every cell of my being. Startled, I sat up.
“Dad?”
“Breathe in, and out,” he said. “Concentrate. I need you to concentrate.”
I frowned. Was it my dad? Or was it Aaron…I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to know. I closed my eyes and lay back down, focusing on the air coming in and out of my lungs.
“Now, I want you to picture a shimmering, silver wall in front of you. Nothing can get through this wall, nothing. You are protected.”
Easy enough. The silver wall was there, hovering around me protectively.
“Now Cameron,” Aaron was back, his voice replacing Dad’s. “I’m going to ring for a maid. She doesn’t know we can read minds. You’ll keep your eyes closed when she enters. She thinks I’m teaching you to meditate. You’ll hear her thoughts, but I want you to try and block them. The moment you hear her words, you’ll picture your ocean. You’ll smell the salt, you’ll hear the waves. When her thoughts come at you, you’ll push against that silver wall, push her thoughts back toward her. They will not penetrate that wall.”
I think I nodded. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t care. I only wanted to continue to float into oblivion, in my make-believe world. There was a soft rustle of movement as he made his way to the door to call for the maid. My mind reached for the noise, wanted to focus on his movements and drag me back to reality.
Keep breathing, I heard Lewis’s voice whisper through my head. Focus on your breathing…focus on those waves.
A few moments later I heard the door crack open.
She’s here, Lewis said. Suddenly he appeared sitting on that blanket beside me, wavering in and out of focus through that silver wall. Was I imagining him, or had he placed himself in my mind? He looked gorgeous with the wind blowing through his dark hair, the sun warming his skin.
But don’t focus on her, he continued. Let your mind wander, listen to her thoughts but keep your eyes closed.
“Sarah,” Aaron’s voice was low and calming as he spoke to the maid. “Can you make sure it’s kept quiet today? We’re meditating.”
“Yes, of course,” the maid replied, but I was more interested in her thoughts. What is she doing? Sometimes I really don’t understand these kids.
I could practically feel the maid’s attention on me. Her gaze burning into my face.
“And make sure the windows are cleaned by tomorrow.”
“Yes, Sir.” I shouldn’t be surprised, weirder things have happened here. But oh well, as long as he pays me.
My mouth twitched as I resisted the urge to smile. The ocean was fading, that silver wall fading as I naturally focused on her thoughts.
Cameron, Lewis’ voice pulled me back. Focus on the ocean. Focus on your breathing. Focus on that wall. Picture the maid. She’s standing in front of you. Now push on that wall, push her thoughts back to her.
I took in a deep breath, in…out…in…out. As I focused on my breathing, their conversation faded…the maid stood before me, a woman dressed in black slacks with a white apron. Odd musical notes drifted from her head toward me. Her thoughts, I realized. The notes bounced off my wall and floated back to her.
Good. Keep picturing that wall. That silver glow around you, protecting you. Nothing can get through, nothing…the thoughts merely bounce off…
Lewis’s voice faded. All sound faded. The only noise was the soft roar of the ocean, waves coming in, waves going out. I pushed my elbows under me and sat up on the blanket. The maid was gone. The wall was gone. Even Lewis and my dad were gone. A wonderful peaceful feeling settled around me, warm, comforting, like a blanket. No one existed, I wasn’t sure if I existed. And oddly I didn’t care.
Peace. I knew complete and utter peace.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there in wonderful, utter silence, but suddenly I felt a touch on my arm, a soft, warm touch. Reality invaded, cold and piercing. The ocean faded, blackness surrounded me. A rush of air brushed past my body, blindingly white stars blurred before me as I raced through space. Suddenly, I slammed against a mental wall.
Jolted, my lashes fluttered up. The walls wavered in and out of focus. I was back in the study. Lewis was sitting beside me, his face tense and serious. “Are you all right?”
Even though he spoke softly, his voice sounded unnaturally loud. “Yeah.” I released a shaky breath and looked around. I felt as if I’d just woken from a super deep sleep. Aaron was sitting across from me again, the maid was gone.
“Did I…fall asleep?”
Aaron shook his head. His face was serious too. Nerves got the best of me. I felt like I’d done something wrong.
“No, you were in deep meditation,” Aaron explained.
It sounded normal enough, but they were both watching me like I was some specimen in a museum, like they were looking to explain something they couldn’t quite understand.
“Oh.” I raked my fingers through my hair. I felt shaky, disorientated, as if I’d been thrown into a cold lake. “Was that supposed to happen?”
Aaron and Lewis shared a glance. “Yes, it’s been known to.”
Yet, they looked odd, unsure. They certainly didn’t look happy. My insecurities came roaring back. “What happened? What’d I do wrong?”
“Nothing.” Aaron smiled. “It’s just…” His smile wavered. “Did you hear anything from the maid? Any thoughts at any time?”
I frowned, trying to remember, but my mind was fuzzy. “I heard Lewis inside my head.” I shot him a glance, making sure I was supposed to tell, hoping he hadn’t done something he wasn’t supposed to. At his nod, I continued. “I remember…” I clawed my way through my murky memories, but it was hard. “I remember the maid coming in. She thought…” I blushed.
Aaron nodded. “Go on.”
“She thought we…you…were weird, but she likes her pay.”
Aaron laughed softly. “Yes, I know. And then?”
“And then Lewis…he was telling me to concentrate on the waves, on the silver wall.”
“And…” Aaron urged me on, but there wasn’t really anything to say. “Nothing else after?”
I shook my head. They shared another glance. Okay, they were totally making me paranoid. “What?” I demanded. I couldn’t take not knowing any longer.
“Well…it’s just that…” Aaron frowned. “The maid was here for a good ten minutes.”
“Oh.” I cheered up immediately. Why did they look so dour? I thought they’d wanted me to meditate well? “So I did it? I blocked her thoughts?”
Lewis nodded. But they didn’t look as thrilled as I felt.
“And then another maid came in. Then, Lewis opened his mind and let his thoughts flow out….” Aaron studied me for one long moment. “You didn’t sense or feel any of this?”
Lewis had opened his thoughts? Ugh, I wish I could have heard them. I tried desperately to turn my mind backward, but could remember nothing but the beach. I was starting to feel like a disappointment. I hated that feeling. “No, I didn’t sense any of it. Should I have?”
“No.” He laughed a merry sound that made me feel somewhat better. “No. It’s wonderful.”
“It is?” I looked at Lewis for confirmation. He was finally smiling too.
“Your concentration is wonderful. Your ability to block everything…amazing.” Aaron shook his head. “If only you’d been taught meditation early on. Hell, if you’d done yoga it would have come out.”
He took my hand and helped me to my feet. I still felt a little weak, but his praise gave me strength. “You’re doing amazingly well, Cameron. So much better than I’d expected.”
I nodded slowly, watching Lewis as he walked toward the windows. He stared outside, as if in deep thought. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was contemplating. He seemed upset…or maybe just lost, confused, I wasn’t sure.
“I’ve invited a few people from town, normal people,” Aaron said, forcing my attention back to him. “In a few nights there will be a dinner party here.”
Normal people? I didn’t want normal people here. Normal people had made my life miserable. I wanted to be surrounded by people like me. “Okay.”
Surely Aaron heard the reservations coming from my mind, but he didn’t seem to care. “And during that party, I want you to try to block their thoughts. Think you’d like to try?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to disappoint Aaron. I slid Lewis a glance. He nodded, as if sensing my unease.
“Sure, I guess.”
Aaron smiled, a pride in his eyes that I’d never experienced before. The sort of pride only a father could give a daughter. I liked it more than I wanted to admit. “You’ll concentrate, just like you did today. But don’t worry, we’ll practice more in the next couple days.”
“Sure.”
He cupped my shoulders and drew me close into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Cameron.”
Warm giddiness swept through my body, this deep sated need that was finally being filled. This is what it felt like to have your parent’s approval. I squeezed my eyes shut and dared to hug him back. I knew, in that moment, I’d do pretty much anything Aaron asked.