not mind sleeping in a tent. It was a decided improvement over sharing an open cave with Makwa. But after spending three days in the wild, I was desperate for a shower. I told this to Doc Minus Two.
"And that's why God made truck stops," he said. He took me to one fifteen miles from the gas station. He seemed to know exactly where it was. The facilities were rustic but I felt like myself again for the first time in days. I don't know if Doc Minus Two used the time to take a shower himself, but did not mind either way — that was the one advantage of riding in an open vehicle. At any rate, he was already waiting for me when I was done and we drove into a wood not far from there and pitched two tents, which came out of the flat canvas bag. He waited patiently for me to be build my own tent, not lending a hand or even helping with advice. I did not know whether he was enjoying watching my clumsiness or just testing my outdoorsman skills. When I was finally done, he went and put up his own tent a hundred yards away. I did not ask him why; it was obvious that this was the minimal distance he needed to put between himself and other people. Even that must have felt suffocating to him.
In the morning we were back in the Jeep, and made a stop at a small strip mall where I bought a parka, a scarf, and goggles to better withstand the ride. Doc Minus Two did not seem to need any of these things. He was wearing a light brown leather jacket and a dark green cap that said GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS, and was unconcerned about the wind, the noise, the ratting, or anything else that was abusing his old body. After visiting the strip mall we stocked up on sandwiches and checked e-mail. There was still nothing from K. We drove on.
By the afternoon we were deep in Pennsylvania. A road sign said Lewisburg was near. Again the Jeep went off road, this time following a narrow path in the woods for three or four miles. Now it was quiet enough for some audible conversation. "Where are we going?"
"To see your family."
"My family lives in Boston, not in some wood in Pennsylvania."
"Wanna bet?"
"What do you mean by that?"
He did not reply. We pulled up by an old log cabin. It looked abandoned. Outside a white van was parked. Two men with rifles got out of it as they saw us approaching. For a moment I thought a confrontation was coming, but Doc Minus Two did not seem concerned. He got out of the Jeep and walked towards them and then pointed at me without looking back and said, "Give them four grand."
"Do what?" I exclaimed.
"They saved your family's hide. The FBI wouldn't. You couldn't. You asked me to do something about it. I had them do it. They don't work for free. Now pay 'em."
"For what? What did they do?" The men stood expressionless, staring blankly in front of them, trusting Doc Minus Two to do their talking for them. He did it well. "Listen, fossil brain, we had to move your family to a safe place. You wanted it. I knew just the kind of people who could pull this off under the nose of both the FBI and the perps. If I were them I'd have charged you fifty thousand for something like that. Luckily for you they're not me and only asked for four. They're good people. Now quit your bitching and complaining and pay 'em."
It was hopeless. I could not lie about having the money, either, because he saw some of it when I gave him a thousand dollars the other day. I took out four thousand dollars and gave it to the men. I made a sour face, but the men did not care. They took the money just as if I was giving it away with a smile, and thanked me politely and asked Doc Minus Two if they should stick around or not.
"What's the daily fee?" Doc Minus Two asked them.
"Four hundred."
He turned to me. "It's up to you. For that kind of money at least one of them will be here at all times, bringing your family stuff and making sure no one comes and goes unnoticed."
I pointed at the log cabin. "Do you mean to tell me my family is in there? Right here in this stinking cabin?"
"I didn't have a lot of choice on where to put them up. I don't own property; I just know where there's property that no one else owns."
I left him and hurried to the cabin door. It was locked. I knocked frantically. Jane opened it. She did not seem surprised to see me there, and without saying a word she slapped my face, then made room for me to get in, then slapped my face a second time, hard. I walked past her and entered a small living room with two black futons and a cardboard box with a TV on it. My son Aaron was sitting on one of the futons, and Jane's fiancé Josh on the one next to it. Both made a face at me. Josh said, "I'll get you for this, Al." He tried to sound menacing but it came out wimpy. He was terrified. I was too, now.
"What's going on here?" I demanded from Doc Minus Two, who followed me into the cabin. "I didn't ask you to kidnap my family. You really are the worst character, aren't you?" Then I let out my biggest frustration. "And why Josh? He's not part of my family."
"It is what it is," Doc Minus Two said calmly. "My guys did not have much choice. The only way to get to your family without being noticed was when they went out — as a family — to the movies. The house is being watched over by two parties, remember? So, once in the theater, and with possibly two surveillance cars waiting outside, my guys had no alternative but to lead them out the back door and into the van."
"They said they were from the police," Jane said, pointing through the window at the men outside. She was visibly upset, and her small black eyes turned even smaller and she was flailing her arms. "They said they needed to take us down to the station for questioning about something you did. Then they forced a cloth soaked with a stinky liquid in our mouths and we lost consciousness. When we woke up we were here."
"But why Josh?" I persisted.
Doc Minus Two pointed at Josh. "He was with them. There was no way to separate him from them once it started, and my guys knew there may not be another chance if they aborted."
"I hope you realize this is kidnapping," Josh said. "Kidnapping is a crime." With Jane's outburst and my apologetic demeanor, he had gathered some courage. He got up. He was of medium height, pale and balding and somber looking and wearing rimless glasses. He was younger than Jane and much younger than me, barely into his thirties. He had no sense of humor and believed the same of me. I could not understand what Jane saw in an insecure little boy like that. "Do you know what you can get for kidnapping?"
Jane came closer and now her flailing arms almost knocked my head off. "They kept saying, 'It's for your own good. It's for your own good. Someone's after you.' The only people who were ever after us in our entire lives were those two." She pointed out the window again.
"Get us outta here, Al, before this spins out of control," Josh said. Josh Banes never liked me. Long before that day. As soon as he entered Jane's life he did not like me. My son told me that he often made fun of my profession and of how little I made. I was still employed when Josh first started seeing Jane, shortly after she left me. It didn't help that I lost my job a few months later. Now I not only had a ridiculous profession in his opinion, but was unable to support my ex wife and son. He felt that some of this burden fell to him and resented me. He kept grilling Jane about our relationship and any fights we have had, and then gave it a magnified, out-of-context meaning, and kept bringing it up whenever I came to visit my son. Of course he could not have done any of this had Jane not let him. She welcomed it. It was comforting to her to hear bad things about me. It validated her decision to leave me. With this kidnapping, every nasty word Josh had ever said about me was confirmed. It would not have mattered so much had it not been for the fact that Aaron was beginning to believe in it, too. He and Josh were getting closer. It was killing me.
"Sit down, all of you," Doc Minus Two ordered.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Jane snapped at him. But she sat down, anyway, and after her Josh, on the same futon. I sat down beside Aaron on the other futon. He moved away an inch.
"I work for your husband."
"Ex husband. I divorced him."
"I can't blame you for that," Doc Minus Two said. He remained standing. "If I were a woman I wouldn't go near him myself. But
this one time he did the right thing. You were not safe in your own home." Then he told them what happened. Just the gist of it.
"I don't believe you," Jane said to me, as if I was the one who told the story. "Those guys outside said they're cops who needed to bring us in for questioning, and it turned out to be bullshit. Now you tell us you're at the center of some international intrigue. Why should I believe you? Why should I believe anything you say ever?"
"I never thought much of you," Josh threw at me. "But even I didn't think you'd stoop this low."
I had to make them believe me, if not like or admire me. At least my son. I was half turned towards him as I spoke. "Why else would I pay four thousand dollars to some strangers to get you to this place? What do I have to gain?"
Josh folded his arms over his chest. "If you have nothing to gain from this that only proves that you're insane. You have a screw loose, Al; I always noticed this about you but didn't know it was that bad. Being down on your luck for this long did it. You lost your wife, you lost your job, you can't find your place in this world. You're losing it, that's what it is. You've become delusional to compensate for feeling like a nobody. Come on: a top-notch crime organization is on a manhunt for you. They would spare no expense just to eliminate you. Because you