But of course, she would know I had done that. The choice was simple: take the risk and let her dabble in this fantasy romance, finally realizing how foolish it was, or lose her as a sister forever. There was no doubt about that.
I fell back on my pillow and looked up at the dark ceiling, hoping that sleep would take me out of this quandary. It was almost morning when it finally did. The contrast between myself and Haylee at breakfast was very sharp. I could barely keep my eyes open and moved like a turtle. She was full of energy, seeming happier than ever, bouncing about the kitchen, doing this and that for Mother.
“Aren’t you feeling well?” Mother asked me.
Haylee turned to me quickly, her eyes raging with fear and warning.
“I spent too much time studying,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”
“And you?” she asked, turning to Haylee. “Did you study enough?”
“Oh, yes, Mother.”
“I’m looking forward to you having very good grades. Everyone expects children of recent divorces to do poorly in school, but we’re going to show them different, aren’t we?”
“We are,” Haylee said. “In fact, we plan to do better than last quarter, don’t we, Kaylee?”
I looked up at Mother. I knew Haylee was barely doing as well as she had done last quarter. “Yes,” I said.
Mother looked pleased.
Haylee gave me another dirty look full of warnings, and then we finished breakfast and got ready to be driven to school.
“You can’t look like that, morning or afternoon or night,” Haylee lectured when we went upstairs to get ready. “If Mother thinks you’re worrying about something, she’ll drill us like a CIA interrogator, and I don’t have confidence that you’ll hold up your side of it.”
“I can’t help what I can’t help,” I said.
“Well, try harder, especially at Tuesday’s dinner,” she ordered.
I calmed myself by convincing myself that she would back out on her own when it came right down to doing it. She was putting up this brave front just for me, and before Saturday, she would tell me something had happened between her and this Anthony whoever and that whatever had happened had ended it. But on the contrary, she came into my room every night to tell me how excited she was and how excited he was. On Friday, she revealed some more details.
“The reason we’re meeting where we’re meeting is that it’s very close to his home,” she said.
“His home? You’re going to a strange man’s house?”
“He’s not a strange man! How many times do I have to tell you that? We’ve been talking to each other for weeks and weeks. I know far more about him than I do about boys I’ve known for years. He’s very open and honest about himself. The truth is that I haven’t been half as honest and revealing with him as I should be.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, like I said, I’m taking baby steps. So don’t worry.”
“Where is his house?”
“I don’t know exactly. It’s more like a farm.”
“Haylee, this is so crazy, but okay, okay,” I said quickly, seeing the expression on her face start to change into rage. “If you’re still this confident on Saturday, we’ll follow your plan.”
“Good,” she said. She smiled. “And thank you, Kaylee. I mean it.”
“Right,” I said, not knowing how I would get through the day.
I had been hoping that when Mother heard about the theater, she would tell us to go somewhere closer, and that might scare off or at least discourage Anthony, but Haylee’s luck was riding a high wave. Mother had a new date with Laura Demarco’s brother, Simon Adams, who had lost his wife in a terrible car accident a year and a half ago. Apparently, he was finally ready to date, and Mother was to be his first since the tragedy. Laura had introduced them, and he had asked Mother to dinner. As it turned out, the restaurant he had chosen was only five miles from the movie theater to which Haylee had insisted we go.
When Mother first told us about her dinner date, I was hoping that would mean she would either tell Haylee we had to go the following weekend and that Anthony would be upset or get cold feet and that would be that, but instead, Mother thought it was all serendipity, “as if planned by the angel who protected us.”
Haylee chose one of our sexiest outfits to wear to the movies, a black sweetheart-neckline romper outfit. It made us look more busty and left little to the imagination about our rear ends, because it was tighter on us now than it had been when Mother first bought it. I thought that would send a signal and Mother would start her usual cross-examination, so I didn’t object, but she almost didn’t notice at all. She was engrossed in what she was going to wear herself on this very special date, a date she said carried more responsibility.
“Simon is very vulnerable and sensitive now,” she told us. “I have to be more of a therapist than a date. I’ve got to dress a little more conservatively than usual. When you meet him, be extra friendly.”
“We will,” Haylee promised.
“Yes,” I said.
I waited to see if she would add anything, squint at what we were wearing, and send us back upstairs to change into something more appropriate for a night at the movies, but she seemed to look right through us. She didn’t even notice the extra makeup Haylee had put on and insisted I copy, the mascara and the glossy lipstick. I did it all willingly, expecting to send signals.
Oh, Mother, I cried inside myself, can’t you see what’s happening? Can’t you look at us the way you used to when we were younger and see every one of our thoughts? Are you so blinded by your own little romances?
It was discouraging. If Mother wasn’t so involved with her own life, she surely would have picked up on what Haylee was doing or at least sensed that it wasn’t something she’d like her to do. As Haylee successfully slipped past Mother’s usual scrutiny, I realized there was nothing more that I could do to stop it.
We were both surprised when Simon Adams arrived to take Mother to dinner and us to the movies. He was a good two or three inches shorter than she was and not very good-looking. His nose was too big, and his eyes were a dull brown, with drooping eyelids that made him appear sleepy. He wore a dark gray jacket and a black tie, but he looked like he could use a haircut. His dark brown hair was a little unruly at the sides and fell lazily over his forehead. He knew about us being identical twins and pleased Mother by immediately saying that he had never seen a pair of twins so indistinguishable.
Before we left, Haylee leaned close to me to whisper, “This is Mother’s charity date, for sure. He looks like one of Snow White’s Seven Dwarfs.”
“Charity date?”
“She wants to help him get back into the world and will prove to her friends and especially Daddy that she is strong enough to do it. She wants to make the point that if she was suffering, she wouldn’t be able to help someone else.”
I looked at her askance. “How do you know all this?”
“You just don’t know her as well as I do, Kaylee. You just don’t,” she said.
Maybe she was right. She was the one capable of fooling her all the time, especially now.
Simon Adams was polite and did seem more like someone indebted to Mother than someone romancing her, and all during the ride to the movie theater, she talked to him the way someone would talk to a child, comparing her divorce with his tragedy to justify her advice.
“To me, Mason Fitzgerald is the same as dead. I wouldn’t have resented receiving sympathy cards the day the divorce was finalized. He’s as good as dead to my girls,” she emphasized.
Simon nodded after everything she said, never challenging or questioning anything. Haylee kept poking me and smiling. The only good thing about it was that it was keeping me from thinking about what she and I were about to do. A cold chill passed through me when Simon pulled up to the movie theater. For a few seconds, I nearly cried out and confessed. Mother, we’re lying. We’re not really going to the movies. Haylee’s going to sneak off
and meet a man much older whom she met on the Internet!
The words flew through my brain and smashed against a wall of hesitation and fear, crumbling before they could get anywhere near my tongue.
Haylee opened the door quickly.
“We’ll be right here waiting for you,” Mother said. “Don’t go wandering about if we’re a little late. I’m not familiar with this area.”
“We won’t,” Haylee said. “Thank you, Mr. Adams.”
“You’re more than welcome,” he said. “Enjoy the movie. I’ve been thinking about seeing it, too.”
“Maybe Mother will want to see it. We’ll tell you how it is,” she said.
Mother turned quickly to look at her, and I hoped she was angry at Haylee for saying that, but she surprised me. She smiled.
“C’mon, Kaylee,” Haylee said. “We don’t want to miss the start of the film.”
She got out. I didn’t move. Stop her! I heard myself screaming inside my head.
“Kaylee!” she cried from the sidewalk.
“Thank you, Mr. Adams,” I said, and got out of the car.
Haylee grabbed my hand, as though she was afraid I might change my mind. Mother smiled at us. Haylee turned and, still holding my hand, started for the ticket booth. Mother, as Haylee had anticipated, did not let Mr. Adams drive off until she saw us enter the movie theater.
“It’s a little early yet,” Haylee said as soon as we had entered. “Let’s find seats in the back. You want some popcorn?”
“No.” I was too nervous even to chew gum.
“I do,” she said, and stopped at the counter to buy a bucket of popcorn and some soda.
“Aren’t you nervous about this?” I asked her as we entered theater number one.
“No,” she said. “I’m tired of telling you that I’m not afraid and want to see him very much, so stop asking.”
We sat in the aisle seat and the next seat in the very last row. The movie trailers had started. Haylee began eating her popcorn. I felt numb. She looked at her watch and ate some more popcorn. She offered it to me, but I shook my head. I was watching the screen, but I wasn’t hearing or seeing anything. I kept waiting for her to hand me the popcorn and get up to go. The fact that she was waiting so long gave me new hope. Maybe, just maybe, she was changing her mind, or, even more possible, this rendezvous was never really arranged, but she didn’t want to tell me yet. In her mind, she might still think I was somehow envious. My hope began to build, and then—
“Oooh,” Haylee suddenly moaned. She shoved the bucket of popcorn at me and crouched, holding her stomach.
“What?”
“Oh, no,” she said. She got up and hurried out of the theater. I followed her into the women’s lavatory. She went right to a stall.
“What is it?”
I heard her start to throw up.
“Haylee?” I tried opening the stall door, but she had locked it. “Let me in.”
She groaned, heaved, and moaned. After another minute, she unlocked the stall door. She was sitting on the closed toilet seat, holding her head as she bent over and rocked.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Something upset my stomach. Maybe it’s the flu. Mindy Lorner came down with it today, just like that. One minute, she was talking to me on the phone, and then suddenly, she said, ‘I’ve got to go to the bathroom and throw up.’ She didn’t even hang up. You’re probably going to get it soon, too. You were talking to her on Friday when I was.”
“I’ll call Mother,” I said.
“No! Not yet,” she said. “I’ll get through it, but you have to do something for me.”
“What?”
“You have to go meet Anthony and tell him what happened.”
“What?”
“Please. You have to.”
“Can’t you just email him or call him?”
“No. He’ll think I’ve been playing with him, and he’ll never contact me again. He’ll believe you if you go there. Just tell him and come back,” she said. “I’ll be fine until you do. We don’t want to ruin Mother’s night, too, anyway, right?”
“I don’t know, Haylee. You’re sick. He’s not the most important thing right now.”
“He is to me. You can do this for me, can’t you? Please. I’ll be all right. I’m close to the bathroom. Kaylee!” She screamed at my hesitation. “I’m sick. Do this for me!”
The whole thing was making my head spin. “How did you get sick so fast?”
“I just told you. It’s the flu,” she said, took deep gasps, and lowered her head. “Are you going or not? Are you going to make me do it? I’ll be throwing up in the street.”
“Where do I have to go?”
“Go left out of the movie theater and then two blocks to a coffee shop on the corner of Barnes and Hyman Way. The shop isn’t open, but he’ll be standing in front of it. He’ll be wearing a red cap. Just go. Tell him what’s happened, and come back. If I can’t stand it anymore, we’ll call Mother, but I’d like to try to give her time to have her dinner date.”
“What if something more happens to you while I’m gone?”
“Nothing more will happen. I’m not dying. I’m just sick to my stomach. Go!” she said, and closed the stall door.
I stood there for a moment.
“Barnes and Hyman Way,” she said behind the closed door. “Left and two blocks. Red cap.” She groaned.
“This is crazy, Haylee.”
“You’re making me feel sicker,” she said. “Well?”
“You didn’t tell me his full name like you promised you would.”
“Oh, what’s the difference now?”
“It matters to me,” I said.
“His name is Anthony Cooper. Just tell him, and come right back. Hurry.”
“Okay. I still don’t like this, but I’ll do it.”
“If I’m not in my seat when you get back, I’m in here. Go. The faster you get it over with, the better it will be. For both of us.”
I turned, hesitated at the door, and then left and walked out of the theater, pausing at the ticket booth to tell the woman working there that I had to go somewhere but would then return. She shrugged, clearly indicating that she couldn’t care less. I turned to the left and started walking quickly.
The evening had gotten cooler. I was sorry now that I had agreed to wear this outfit. The sky was mostly overcast, and the streets were not well lit. I hugged myself and hurried along. My intention was to say everything in practically one breath and then turn and run back to the movie theater. I wondered why this Anthony would have chosen this address to meet Haylee. Why couldn’t he have simply come to the movie theater at a set time? Maybe she had never told him our plan, I thought, so he didn’t know about the movie theater. She had said she wasn’t as forthcoming about herself as he had been about himself. He might not know how tightly Mother kept her eyes on our every move. Haylee probably had him believing she could do whatever she wished. If he knew the truth, he would have ended it for sure. Well, now he would, so maybe this would turn out to be the best thing.
There was little traffic on these streets, and houses were gradually fewer and fewer as I went along. Some of the houses looked run-down and deserted, windows dark, lawns overgrown or spotted with dead grass. I was hoping it would be busier when I reached the corner where the coffee shop was. When I started to approach it, I realized it wasn’t just closed up for the day; it was out of business. The sign in front was hanging from one side, and the words on the front window were faded.
I didn’t see anyone standing there. Maybe he had decided not to show. Perhaps he had realized what he was getting himself into and finally was frightened. He probably worried that this rendezvous was a trap set by the police, that Mother had found out about his Internet seduction of Haylee and had reported it. There was lots of that going on. If that was his decision, it was more than fine with me. I could turn around and hurry back to tell Haylee that he was a no-show and she should consider it al
l over.
I crossed the street and slowly approached the closed-down coffee shop. A car came along, slowed down, and then kept going. It looked like two men with a woman in the rear. It disappeared around a corner, and the street was quiet again. I was surprised at how little traffic there was. I was getting more frightened standing here. I’ll count to ten, I thought, and then I’ll turn and run back.
“One . . .”
“Hi, Kaylee,” I heard, and spun around to see him standing there, red cap and all. He had his hands in his pockets. “I was afraid you weren’t coming.”
Why did he call me Kaylee, not Haylee?
The streetlight was very dim here, but I could see him clearly enough when he stepped out of the shadows. He wasn’t much taller than us, but his shoulders looked wider than they did in his Internet picture. His hair looked thinner, too. I thought there was even a little gray in it, and it suddenly occurred to me that he had posted a picture of himself when he was younger. He was even older than I had first thought. Haylee would have been disappointed. He was far from good-looking in person. Too bad she was too sick to come. This would surely have brought it to an end.
“You mean Haylee. She’s not coming,” I said. “I’m sorry. I am her sister, Kaylee. Haylee has taken ill, maybe a stomach flu. I came to tell you she won’t be here.”
He laughed and stepped closer. “You never stop with the jokes. That’s what I like about you. You have a sense of humor that runs on nuclear energy or something.”
I didn’t like his voice. He spoke in a loud whisper, raspy, like someone who had just had the front of his neck in someone else’s tight grip. He didn’t have a beard or a mustache, but he looked like he hadn’t shaved for days. The granite-like stubble was all over his neck and Adam’s apple. He was wearing a jean jacket, a black T-shirt, and a pair of creased black pants with dirty white running shoes and no socks.