CHAPTER III.--PROFESSOR CRAB.
9049]
OOD gracious! whatever am I to do now?" thought Boy, for the tidewas rising higher and higher every moment, and there seemed to be nopossible way of getting back to the shore again. He had just decided toreturn to Sand Castle and see if he could not find something to make araft of when he noticed a very large Crab in a white waistcoat and darkblue coat carrying a goldheaded cane in one claw, and walking rapidlytowards him.
As soon as he perceived Boy he exclaimed in a delighted voice,--
"Why! Bless me, what a charming little human creature! How do you do, mydear sir?"
Boy, staring at him in great surprise, replied that he was "quite well,thank you," and was just going to ask the Crab if he could suggest a wayback to the shore, when a great wave rolled up unexpectedly and carriedBoy and the Crab off their feet, destroying about half of Sand Castle,and washing away most of the toy trees which were in the garden.
"Very refreshing, sir, isn't it?" remarked the Crab, smoothing down hiscoat as the wave receded, leaving them on the wet sand.
Boy, drenched to the skin, was spluttering and gasping for breath, andcould not reply for a moment or two, but at last he managed to say, "Ithink it is horrid, and I am sure I shall be drowned soon if this sortof thing goes on much longer. Do you know how I can get back to theshore?" he panted.
"You can't get back," said the Crab decidedly.
"Oh dear me! then I shall certainly be drowned!" cried Boy in alarm.
"What nonsense!" remarked the Crab. "That's what all the human creaturessay directly they get a little wet. It's all affectation, my dear sir, Iassure you. Why, look at me. I'm just as comfortable in the water as outof it, and so would you be if you would only try it. Here comes anotherwave. Now don't be frightened and don't let yourself be carried away;just stop on the sand and let the water go over you--give me your claw;"and grasping Boy's hand He held him, down while the wave passed overtheir heads. For a moment Boy could not breathe, but presently havingswallowed a great mouthful of salt water, he found to his great surprisethat he could breathe just as well under the water as out of it.
"There, what did I tell you?" remarked the Crab pleasantly, when Boy hadpartially recovered from his fright; for there is no disguising the factthat he had been frightened, although he was a brave little fellow, too."Come along," continued the Crab, "you had better come and see my schoolnow you have got so far."
"Your school!" exclaimed Boy. "Do you keep a school?"
"Yes," replied the Crab, "I am the Head Master of Drinkon College."
"What a funny name!" said Boy smilingly.
"Not at all," replied the Crab; "no funnier than Eaton--Eaton on landand Drinkon under the sea, you know."
Boy thought about this as they proceeded along the hard sand under thewater, and then he noticed to his great surprise a number of fishesabout his own size, in short jackets and deep collars, and wearingCollege caps, swimming in their direction.
0053]
"These are some of my scholars," remarked the Crab as they came insight--the fishes, swimming in a perfectly upright position, raisedtheir caps when they saw the Crab, and one of them said very politely,--
"Good-morning, Professor."
"Good-morning," replied the Crab as they swam past. Just then acurious-looking little creature covered all over with little pricklyspikes called out rudely,--"Yah! old Professor Crab--who caned theOyster?" and scuttled away behind some seaweed.
"That," said the Crab, "is one of the Sea Urchins; they are very rudeand ill behaved. I do not allow my scholars to associate with them."
"Are you really a Professor?" asked Boy, who felt greatly impressed withthe Crab's importance.
"I'm afraid I am," said the Crab. "All schoolmasters are, youknow--whether they admit it or not."
"What do you mean?" exclaimed Boy. "I don't think my schoolmaster is aProfessor; at any rate he does not call himself one."
"Ah, that's his artfulness," said the Crab. "A professor," he explained,"is one who professes to know more than he really does, and allschoolmasters do that more or less, whether they admit it or not--theyare obliged to; however, let's change the subject; it is a painful one."
Boy was greatly surprised at this admission on the part of the Crab,but he was too much interested in his strange surroundings to think muchabout it.
They were walking along a roadway with great seaweeds planted at regularintervals on either side, and in the distance Boy could see the outlinesof some great buildings.
"Why, there are some houses!" he exclaimed in surprise.
"Of course," replied Professor Crab. "What did you suppose we lived in?"
"I had no idea that fishes built houses before," said Boy, "exceptsticklebacks; I know they build a kind of nest with sticks and things,because I have seen pictures of them in my Natural History book."
"My dear sir," remarked the Professor, "those were in the old days,before fishes became civilised: you might as well refer to the time whenhuman creatures dwelt in caves and huts. No, my dear sir, the spread ofeducation has extended to us also, and we have now as fine cities underthe sea as any on land."
Boy was just going to reply when his attention was attracted by a partyof Lobsters on bicycles rushing past them, all dressed alike in darkgreen and yellow. One dear little one riding along gallantly at the endof the procession amused Boy very much indeed, and he was still watchinghim when he heard a voice exclaiming, "Cab, sir?" and, turning around,beheld the most curious vehicle you can possibly imagine: two sea-horseswere attached to a kind of carriage made out of a large shell mounted ontwo wheels, and were driven by a small crayfish, wearing a top hat, whowas perched up behind.
0055]
"Yes, I think we will ride," said Professor Crab, mounting the steps ofthis strange conveyance, and beckoning Boy to follow. Boy was delightedto do so, and was charmed with the curious little carriage as thecoachman cracked his whip and they bowled quickly along. Presently theypassed a large building looking like a Station, and Professor Crab toldhim that it was the Terminus of the Submarine Steam Navigation Company,and told the cabman to stop a moment so that Boy might watch one of theboats which was just starting out of the Station. A very curiousaffair it turned out to be: shaped like an enormous Cigar, with a screwpropeller at one end of it a deck on top with rails around it, on whicha number of various kinds of fishes were sitting about on deck-chairs,chatting and reading, while through the large plate-glass windows, ofwhich, there was one on either side of this curiously-shaped boat, Boycould see a number of other fishes making themselves comfortable in theluxuriously furnished saloon. As soon as it floated away out of sightthe cabman whipped up his horses again, and off they started once more,and did not stop until they reached some large gates with a board overthem, on which was painted in gold letters:=
````DRINKON COLLEGE,
```Principal: Professor Crab.=
The Professor paid the cabman, who touched his hat, and then, followedby Boy, entered a large building just through the gates. A long corridorran right through the building, and through the glass doors at the endBoy could see a number of the scholars at play.
"Would you like to join them while I give the First Class in Molluscstheir singing lesson?" asked the Professor.
Boy said that he should, and passing out into the playground, was soonsurrounded by a number of young fishes, all dressed in College suitssimilar to those Boy had seen before.
"What's your name?" asked one, as soon as he came up to Boy, and beforehe could answer another one had asked, "What's your father? and how muchpocket money do you have a week?" while a third demanded, "Where did yougo for your holiday last year?"
Boy thought he had better answer one question at a time, so he replied,"Oh, I went to Broadstairs and had such a jolly time, and one day I wentout in a boat and caught such a lot of------" (Fortunately he rememberedjust in time to prevent himself from saying "such a lot of fish" as hehad at first intended.)
/> "Such a lot of what?" asked one of the little fishes curiously.
"Oh--er--er--such a lot of--er--er--things, shells, you know, ander--er--seaweed," stammered Boy, feeling very confused.
"Rather funny to go out in a boat to catch seaweed, wasn't it?" remarkedone of the fishes suspiciously. "What did you catch really?"
Boy could not think what to say, but at last he thought that he couldsee a way out of the difficulty, and said, "Oh, I caught a crab."
The fishes looked horrified.
"Oh! I don't mean a really truly crab," Boy hastened to say. "I meanwhen your oars stick in the water and you can't draw them out again;that's called 'catching a crab,' you know, and that's the kind I mean,of course."
The fishes did not seem quite satisfied though, and stood staring athim suspiciously for some time, till at last one of them said,--"Can youplay cricket?"
"Yes, rather," said Boy proudly. "I'm going to be captain of our elevennext term if Traddles doesn't come back again."
"Who's Traddles?" demanded one of the fishes.
"Oh! a fellow at our school," said Boy. "He's eleven and ever so muchtaller than me; but I can bowl better than him any day."
"Come on then, let's have a game," said one of the fishes, leading theway to the end of the playground where a single wicket was pitched.
"Your innings," he cried, handing Boy a bat.
Boy thought this was a very curious way of beginning a game, and he wasmore surprised still when, without the slightest warning, all the restof the fishes began throwing balls at him as hard as they could, hittinghim pretty sharply in several places, and of course knocking the bailsoff the stumps at once.
"How's that, Umpire?" they shouted all together.
The fish who had handed Boy the bat promptly replied "Out," and theothers threw their caps up into the air excitedly and called out thatthey had won the game.
"That's not the way to play cricket," cried Boy, throwing down his batin disgust.
"Who says it isn't?" demanded one of the fishes, coming up to him.
"I say so," maintained Boy stoutly.
"Very well, then I'll fight you for it," declared the fish, throwing offhis coat.
"I'm sure you won't," said Boy, laughing at the very idea.
"Yah! cowardy, cowardy custard," cried the fishes, dancing around him."Afraid to fight; dear little mammy's baby."
Boy very wisely determined not to heed their taunts and walked back tothe College, leaving the quarrelsome little fishes to themselves.
The sound of music from one of the class-rooms told him where heshould find the Professor, and looking in at the window he saw the Crabstanding beside a blackboard with notes on it waving a _baton_, while anumber of Oysters in rows were singing with their shells wide open.
"Come in," he cried, when he saw Boy, and Boy went round to the door andentered the room.
"We have nearly finished," said Professor Crab. "Perhaps you would liketo hear the Molluscs sing."
"Very much indeed," said Boy, taking a seat on one of the forms.
0063]
The Crab counted "One, two, three," beating time with his _baton_, andthe Oysters started singing the following song:--
"THE DEAR LITTLE OYSTER."
`"There was once a little Oyster, living underneath the sea,
`Who was good as gold and, consequently, happy as could be;
`She kept the house as tidy and as clean as a new' pin,
`And helped her Ma to make the beds they tuck the Oysters in.=
`"We soon discovered she possessed a most uncommon voice,
`And Operatic singing then became her ardent choice;
`So diligently practised she her lessons and her scales,
`That she quickly gained the medal given by the Prince of
```Whales.=
`"Of course she now was far too good to waste her life down
```here,
`So reluctantly we gave her up to grace another sphere:
`She, in a barrel nicely packed, was sent to Mr. Gatti,
`And under his most skilful care became an Oyster Patti."=
Boy was very pleased indeed with this song, which the First Class inMolluscs sang very well, and clapped vigorously.
"I'm glad you like their singing," said the Professor, looking pleasedat Boy's approval.
"That will do for to-day," he added, dismissing the class, and theOysters went out of the room in single file, each one making a littlebow as he passed the Professor. .
"Now what shall we do with ourselves for the rest of the day?" said theCrab, when they had all gone, for there is a half-holiday, you know.Would you like to go for a trip to Zum?" he asked.
"Oh yes, please," answered Boy, who remembered that that was whereOne-and-Nine said that they should meet again.
So Professor Crab put his hat on, and after locking the class-room doorset out with Boy for the Station of the Submarine Navigation Company.