*****
When the boys woke up the next morning, all four of them were completely hung over. None of them had any idea what day it was, what time it was or what city they were in now.
“Hey guys?” Spencer stumbled out of his bunk and started pulling the curtains open to wake everyone up.
He reached for the curtain on Tyler’s bunk first and tore it open to reveal an empty bed. Spencer scratched his head, thinking Tyler was in the bathroom or maybe he was already awake and in the kitchen.
Spencer checked the entire bus for Tyler but turned up with nothing.
“Guys?” Tyler said more frantically.
The guitarist, Tony, poked his head out of the small compartment. “What’s wrong, Spencer?” He groaned.
Spencer looked to him with wide eyes. “Tyler’s gone.”
Ch. 8
When Tyler woke up again, Carolyn was still gone. He sat up and looked around the empty room, wondering where she could be. He figured it had only been a few hours since she left and maybe she just thought he was still asleep. Should he go find her? No, he decided he should just stay put. He didn’t want her scolding him again for moving and her house was strange enough as it was.
Suddenly, the door was thrown open and a flustered Carolyn rushed in, slamming the door shut behind her. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail and fluffy strands of loose hair framed her face. Her thin frame was graced with a tight fitting leotard and a short, flowing skirt draped around her waist. She threw her bag on the floor and turned toward Tyler sitting in the bed. She jumped back in fright.
“Jesus…” She placed a hand against her rapid beating heart. “I forgot you were here.” She admitted.
“Oh…” Tyler slumped down again into the soft pillow behind him.
“I’m glad you’re awake at least.” She gave him a weak half smile. “You’ve been sleeping for at least a day.”
Tyler’s eyes went wide. “A whole day? And no one woke me up?”
Carolyn shrugged. “I thought you were just tired…” She sat down on the end of the bed and unlaced her black Vans, slipping them off her feet and tossing them against the wall across the room. She tucked her legs underneath her and looked to Tyler. “You look better than you did a few days ago, at least.” She was trying to make him feel better. She could tell that he missed his band and he wanted to go home.
Tyler looked up at her. “What’s your school like?”
Now that was a random question. Carolyn figured he must just be looking for a way to distract himself from thinking about his band.
She sighed. “Same as every high school I guess. There are the jocks, the preps, the popular clique, the goth kids… And then there’s me. I’m the odd one out…” She looked down at her lap letting her bangs hang down in front of her face. “I don’t have any friends… It’s all because I’m the mortician’s daughter. They think I’m weird and, well… I guess I am kind of weird but that doesn’t mean I can’t be like the rest of them.”
“I’m your friend.” Tyler said.
She looked up at him, flipping her bangs out of her face. “You are?”
Tyler nodded. “Of course I am. You saved my life. It’s the least I could do.”
Carolyn nodded as well and looked down again. “I just wish I was normal…”
Tyler scooted a little closer to her and placed his hand over hers. “You want to know what a friend of mine said once? He said ‘normal is a setting on a washing machine. And no one wants to be that.’”
That made Carolyn laugh, “I like that.” She smiled but then her smile began to fade.
Tyler could see that she was thinking about something. A memory was coming back to her.
“What are you thinking?” He asked, trying to look at her face hidden behind her blonde hair.
“Just… the people at school… And how they call me names…” She held out her pale arms for him. “For every name, there’s a scar.”
He ran his fingers over her scars gently, tracing a few of them and then holding out his own arm for her to see. Their wrists matched. He looked from his wrist, to hers, to her blue eyes pale with pain.
“You’re not alone.” He said.
She nodded solemnly. “I know…” She whispered.
A harsh breeze came through the open window and she shuddered. Although it was now nearing March, it was still cold outside.
“Come here.” Tyler gestured to her, moving over to make a spot next to him on the bed.
Carolyn obediently crawled into the empty space by his side and let him wrap his arms around her. She let the warmth of his body seep into her cool skin and warm her from the inside out.
They sat there almost all night with her resting in his arms, listening to the raging breeze calm itself down and slowly put them to sleep.
Ch. 9
Three weeks had gone by and Tyler could feel himself falling more and more for Carolyn. He didn’t understand why. It was like there was some invisible force pulling him to her. He was drawn to her like moths to a flame. He still couldn’t understand why people didn’t like her. She was so much different than any other girl he had met. That made her interesting. And he still wanted to know what she was hiding from him.
Carolyn was hiding two things from Tyler. She was hiding the contents of the red notebook from him and she was hiding her past from him. He wanted to know what she had meant about losing people she loved. Tyler thought maybe he was overreacting a bit. She probably just meant that a lot of her family had died from various diseases, cancers or old age. But for some reason, something was telling him that wasn’t what she had meant.
Tyler didn’t know it but today would be the day he discovered one of her secrets. He was going to read what was in that red notebook.
Carolyn stood on the other side of the room by the window, looking out at the cemetery and dreaming of dance. The notebook sat on the desk beside her, calling to Tyler. It mocked him.
He watched Carolyn gaze out the window. The sunlight hitting her made her blonde hair glow. Her skin looked like smooth porcelain. His eyes traveled down her slim figure until they hit the floor. There was something odd about the way she was standing. She had both her feet turned out so her toes were pointing towards the walls on either side and her heels were glued together.
And then, she started to sway. Her feet moved with the rest of her body in ways he had never seen before. She rose up onto the balls of her feet, then back down. She extended her leg out slightly—her leg was as straight as a pole—and stepped down, rising up on the ball of her foot again and kicking her left leg out behind her.
“What are you doing?” Tyler asked without thinking.
She stopped immediately and whipped around to face him. A slight blush began to creep up on her cheeks. “Oh… I forgot you were here again…” She seemed to forget about him being there a lot. “I was just… I was practicing my dance…” She looked ashamed.
Tyler didn’t understand why she looked so upset. “I thought it was beautiful.” He gave her a half smile.
She sat down in the chair next to the desk and covered her face with her hands. “Oh, I’m so embarrassed now…” She mumbled into her palms.
Tyler stood up from the bed. “Why? You’re really very good from what I saw. Maybe you can show me the whole thing sometime.”
She looked up at him standing in front of her. His eyes were filled with sympathy and care. Hers were filled with shame and regret.
“Really?” She was surprised he thought she was good. Carolyn didn’t think she was all that good. You could say she tried to be modest and not boast about her talents like the other girls. “I… I guess I could show you sometime…After I perfect it, of course.”
Tyler laughed. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. The dance could have a ton of mistakes in it but I wouldn’t notice. As long as you’re the one dancing, I’ll think it’s perfect.”
She smiled at him and stood up so she could look him straight in the eyes. His eye
s were beautiful. She couldn’t stop thinking about them. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw them. She wanted to swim in those bright blue pools. His eyes reminded her of the sky. Dancing wasn’t the only thing that could make her fly. Tyler’s eyes made her fly.
“Carolyn!” Her father’s voice traveled up the stairs and reached her ears.
“My father is calling me…” She looked down at the floor. “I better go see what he wants…” She shuffled across the floor to the door and left Tyler in the room alone with the notebook in front of him.
He glanced back at the door before looking back at the notebook in front of him and picking it up with such care. He hesitated before picking up the notebook. He was afraid it was going to burst into flames at his touch by the way Carolyn protected it so.
He flipped open the front cover and began reading the first words he saw on the page. The words scribbled in blue pen jumped out at him and sucked him into Carolyn’s mind. He flipped through the pages and got to the newest entry. It was labeled, The boy with the baby blue eyes. She had quite a fascination with his eyes. The shape of them, the color of them, and the way they made her feel.
He started reading:
Tyler. That’s his name. I never thought that I would ever get to know him—let alone meet him—in my lifetime. He’s already done so much for me and he doesn’t even realize it. His music saved my life and now he’s here, in my bedroom, slowly driving me to madness. His skin looks as smooth as glass and his eyes—his eyes… They make me go crazy. Every time he looks at me, I get butterflies in my stomach. No one has ever affected me in this way and I don’t know what to do. If he ever left me, I don’t know if I would be able to control myself. I would end up cutting so deep I would kill myself because I wouldn’t have those gorgeous blue eyes to save me from myself. I know… I sound stupid. I sound like I’m obsessed with him. I guess I am in a way. But I don’t want him to think I’m creepy. Everyone else already does…. Oh, who am I kidding? He’ll never like me the way I like him… He misses his band and it’s obvious. I need to let him go. I—
“What are you doing?! Put it down!” Carolyn shrieked.
Tyler looked up from the page and saw her horror stricken face. He knew what he had done was wrong. Now he had ruined all chances of her thinking of him the same way ever again. She probably hated him now.
He set the notebook down on the desk, still open. “I’m sorry, I—”
She ran over and snatched up the notebook off the desk. She closed it and clutched it to her chest, sitting down on the bed.
Tyler watched her just sit there staring at the floor. Now what was he supposed to do?
Ch. 10
“What part did you read?” She looked up at him with her eyes but didn’t move her head. She already knew what his answer would be and that scared her. She knew he had read her entry about him. She knew what he probably was thinking at that exact moment. But she asked anyway, with a little hope that her intuition was incorrect.
“I read your song.” He said.
Carolyn looked at him skeptically. “Which one?” She was testing him. She knew there was only one song in that notebook but she wanted to see if he was telling the truth or not. For all she knew, he could have read through the entire notebook and knew not to say what he was reading when she caught him.
“The one about someone leaving you?” He asked, unsure if that was really what the song was about.
She knew what he was talking about though. She had written that song a while ago. It pained her to think about the memory behind the song. “Yeah…That’s what it’s about…”
“It’s a good song.” Tyler said. “Could you…” He trailed off. He began to think that maybe she didn’t really want anything to do with him at the moment.
“What?” She insisted.
Tyler took a deep breath. “Well, I was just… going to ask if… maybe… you could… sing it for me?”
Carolyn looked at the notebook in her hands and then opened it to the song. “Okay.” She agreed.
Tyler looked shocked. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Don’t make me change my mind, Tyler.” She warned.
Tyler slapped his hand over his mouth and sat back in the chair. He wasn’t going to let his big mouth ruin this chance for him.
Carolyn folded her legs underneath herself before taking a deep breath to begin to sing:
I open my lungs, dear.
I sing this song at funerals, no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
A baby boy you’ve held so tightly
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds
I feel your touch.
I will await, dear
A patience of eternity, my crush
A universal still, no rust
No dust will ever grow on this frame
A million years and I will say your name
I love you more than I can ever scream
“That’s all I have so far…” Carolyn stopped and closed the notebook.
“It’s…” Tyler had no words to describe the music that just escaped from this girl’s lips. It was like she sang him into a trance.
“You hated it, didn’t you…” She looked down at her lap.
“No, no I—I didn’t. It’s amazing. I just… I can’t explain to you what that made me feel. You have a real talent, you know.” He stood up from the chair and made his way over to her cautiously.
She scrambled to grab the notebook and shoved it under her comforter. Tyler had revealed enough secrets for one day. She moved over on the bed and allowed him to sit down next to her.
He looked into her deep blue eyes and reached up to caress her soft cheek. He heard her breath hitch in her throat as he began to move his face closer to hers.
“I love you more than I can ever scream.” He whispered to her.
Their noses bumped together and he tilted his head to the side. She could feel his warm breath linger on her lips and he moved in closer to close the gap between their lips.
But before Tyler could kiss her, the door to Carolyn’s room was pushed open and standing in the door way was a very unhappy looking mortician.
Ch. 11
“Oh, uh, I'm sorry to—uh—interrupt but... Carolyn? May I see you in the hall real quick, please?” The mortician turned and left the room as quickly as he had come in.
Carolyn turned to Tyler and grimaced. She had a feeling what was coming. Her father would start to get angry about her having a boy in her room by herself and then she would get in trouble, just like any normal teenager.
She rose from the bed and followed the path her father had taken out of the room. When she arrived in the hallway, her father didn't look mad or upset. He just looked a little worried. Which to Carolyn was completely understandable. Any parent would be worried if they found their daughter alone in a room with an attractive boy.
“Carolyn, I—” He began but then cut himself off.
“Are you mad, Daddy?" She asked, shrinking away from him slightly. “I'm sorry about Tyler... I—”
“No, I'm not mad.” The mortician said sincerely. “I'm glad that you and this boy have become good friends. What I'm worried about is the news I have just received...”
Carolyn looked confused. At least her father wasn't mad but what news could he mean? Had the police finally discovered something else about her mother's murder?
When Carolyn didn't speak, the mortician continued on. “I have to leave for a few days. Another town has requested me to fill in for their mortician. He's very ill and they can't just leave these bodies lying around. The families of the deceased are getting very antsy about their loved ones not being prepared in time for the funerals. I have to go. It's a little extra money to help get us by. You understand, right?”
Carolyn tried to process all of the information that was just thrown at her. Her father was leaving her alone with Tyler. She couldn't decide whether this was a good thin
g or a bad thing. It would mean that the two would have time alone but her father wouldn't be there to save her if Tyler tried something that she didn't like.
“Yes, I... I understand. I'll miss you.” She wrapped her arms around her father in a hug and waited as she felt his arms tighten around her.
“I'll only be gone a few days.” He assured her. “And you have Tyler now to keep you company. If I didn't think Tyler was a good boy, I wouldn't leave you two alone.”
Her father had a point. He always knew how to make Carolyn feel better. Her nerves melted away at his reassuring words. Of course Tyler was a good boy. She should have known better than to get flustered with worry over Tyler.
“When are you leaving?” She pulled away to look at her father.
He looked down at the wood floor. “I leave tonight, dear.” He sighed. “I better go pack up my things. I leave in a few hours.”
Carolyn nodded. “Okay...” She gave her father one last hug before letting him go back down the stairs to pack up his belongings.
She wasn't entirely sure what the next few days would entail. Her mind was reeling with all sorts of thoughts. She still had worry sitting in the back of her mind. There was always that ten percent chance that something bad could actually happen.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Tyler's voice sailed through her ears.
She looked up and saw him still sitting in the place she had left him. She hadn't even realized she walked into her room. Her thoughts were so controlling.
“We're not in trouble or anything, are we?” He continued.
Carolyn shook her head. “No, no... We're not in trouble. We're in the exact opposite of trouble, actually.” She said.
“What do you mean by that?” Tyler asked.
“My father is leaving tonight to go to another town for a few days. He even said he doesn't mind leaving us alone.” She informed him.
“Well. That's quite a shocker. I've never heard any parent say that before.” Tyler stood up in front of her.
“Yeah, well... My whole family is pretty different as you're beginning to learn.” She said.
Without thinking, Tyler wrapped his arms around her. To his surprise, she hugged him back. “Everything will be okay.” He assured her.
You're by yourself with me tonight
Ch. 12
Carolyn stood on the concrete front steps and watched as her father drove away, leaving her all alone with the old creaky house and the attractive lead singer of her favorite band. Anything could happen now as long as she let it happen. She always dreamed of what sex with him would be like but now that the opportunity had arose, she didn't think she actually wanted to go through with it; not tonight anyway.
She went back inside the house and skipped up the creaky staircase to get to her room where she had left Tyler. Or so she thought she had left him there. When she walked into her room, she found it empty. Panic filled every inch of her. He had gotten away, hadn't he…? Now everyone would know that he really wasn't dead and he would go back to living out his rock star life. She would go back to living her poor, pathetic life filled with loneliness.
She looked around the vacant room and almost missed a piece of white paper taped to the window. She walked over and peeled it off the window. There was a note written on it.
Carolyn,
Meet me in the cemetery. I know that's your favorite place to be and I have a surprise for you. I didn't want you to be somewhere you weren't comfortable and I know the cemetery makes you comfortable. And I also wouldn't mind seeing you dance now. *hint hint, wink wink*
Love,
Tyler
She giggled at the last part and folded the note, sliding it into her back pocket. She quickly grabbed her ballet shoes before taking a quick glance out at the cemetery to see if she could see Tyler from her window. She pouted when she didn't see him anywhere but ran down the stairs and out the door towards the cemetery anyway.
She looked around the eerie place and struggled to see through the light fog that had begun to fall over her. It seemed the cemetery always had fog surrounding it.
“Tyler?” She called out but received a crow cawing as her only response.
A pair of strong hands grabbed her waist and pulled her back. She gasped and her eyes widened at the touch.
“Gotcha.” The deep voice chuckled.
She whipped around to see Tyler standing in front of her. “Shit, Tyler. You scared me.” She whined, smacking his chest playfully.
“So where's my surprise?” She continued.
Tyler shook his head. “No, no. You're dancing for me first. You've made me wait weeks now to see you dance. You have to wait a few more minutes for your surprise.”
Carolyn shot him a ‘you've-got-to-be-kidding-me’ look as she groaned and sat down on the grass to lace up her shoes. Tyler sat next to her and watched as she took the silken black strands in her small, pale hands and wrap the ribbons around her ankles.
After she had tied up the second shoe, she stood up and went up on her toes and back down to warm up her feet a bit. Her feet would cramp up if they weren't warmed up and it was quite an annoyance. A ballet dancer's feet are one of the most important parts of her body.
Tyler watched her move around effortlessly. She looked so graceful with every movement and he wondered how she managed to stay up on her toes so long and keep her legs so straight.
Carolyn made it a point not to look at Tyler when she was dancing. She knew he would take her out of her trance and she would mess up. When there was no music, she would play the song in her head so she could keep up with the tempo of how the dance should be. If she looked at Tyler, the music would die and she wouldn't be able to continue.
When she finally looked at him, she shrugged and said "Well, that was it so far. Our teacher hasn't added on more yet."
Tyler just sat there with his mouth hanging open. Everything about her took his breathe away. Her dancing, her beauty, her.
"I-- Wow." Was all he could manage to say.
“Oh stop it.” She sat down next to him and changed back into her Vans. “I really wasn't that good.”
“Stop trying to be modest.” He said. “You were amazing.”
Carolyn shrugged. “Can I have my surprise now?”
Tyler smiled and stood up, motioning for her to do the same. He led her to the middle of the cemetery where there was a huge family plot with a brass fence surrounding the graves. He pushed open the gate and led her inside, sitting her down by the massive grave standing in the middle of the family plot.
From behind one of the smaller headstones, he revealed a guitar and Carolyn gasped, putting a hand against her mouth.
Tyler noticed her slight gesture and looked confused. “Is everything okay?”
Carolyn nodded but then shook her head. “I don't know... I'm sorry, Tyler. It's just that.... that guitar used to belong to my mother...”
“Oh... I'm sorry... I saw it in your room and I thought it was yours...” He looked down at the ground, shamed with himself.
“No, it's okay.” She tried to assure him. “You didn't know... Go ahead. Play it.” She forced a smile.
Tyler smiled in return and looked down at the guitar to start playing the intro to the song.
Those times in life we learn to try, with one intention
Of learning how and when we'll die, but we can't listen
I wish to God I'd known that I, I didn't stand a chance
Of looking back and knowing why, a pain of circumstance
You're not alone
We'll brave this storm
So here's my song I wrote in time when it was needed
Through pain of heart or loss of mind, your burdens lifted
You aren't alone just know that I, can't save our hearts tonight
He strummed and sang the chorus three more times before finishing it off and looking up at her. This time, she was the one who had no words to speak.
"Did you like it?" Hope dripping off his tone of
voice.
"What did you name the song?" She answered with another question.
Tyler smiled and looked down at the ground. "Carolyn..."
"You named the song after me?" She said, her voice full of sincerity.
He looked back up at her and put the guitar down. He shifted his body closer to her and began to move his face in towards her. Finally, there was no one to interrupt them.
He heard her breath hitch in her throat again and it made him smile. "Nervous?" He asked seductively.
She hesitated. "No." She breathed.
He closed the gap between their lips. A jolt of energy coursed through his veins at the touch of her lips against his. The feeling of her body so close to him made him want her more. He wanted more of her. But he pulled away, and resisted his urge to just rip all of her clothes off.
"That was nice." She said. "I didn't want it to end."
"It doesn't have to." He said in return.
She knew what he meant but tonight wasn't going to be the night. She shook her head. "No, I... I can't. Not tonight anyway..."
Tyler nodded, respecting her decision. "We have the next few days to ourselves," He pointed out. "There's always tomorrow." He said, hopeful.
Carolyn rolled her eyes at him. "Someone's horny." She giggled.
"Hey, I'm a guy." He said in defense. "What can I say?"
Carolyn just rolled her eyes at him again but didn't say anything. There was something stuck in the back of Tyler's mind and he decided now was the time to confront her about it. "Why did you freak out when I pulled out the guitar? I mean, I know it was your mother's but... What happened to her?"
Carolyn looked up at him and sighed. "It's a long story... And... I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it."
Tyler was getting more and more frustrated with each passing second. "It's okay. You can tell me." He assured her. "And we're here in the cemetery. You're safe in here. Please, Carolyn. I just want to know. Maybe I can help you."
Carolyn shifted her sitting position and looked down at the ground. "My mother..." She began. "My mother... was murdered."
Ch. 13
Tyler sat there and listened to her story. He was amazed at what sort of stuff she had been through. She had been through so much more in a few years than he had in his entire life.
“So you still don't know who killed your mom?” He moved himself closer to her, hoping that his presence was comforting for her.
Carolyn shook her head. “No... But I'm going to find him one of these days. I'm not going to let him get away with what he did to me and my family.”
Tyler didn't really know what to say next. He had never been in such a position before and he certainly couldn't relate. He had lost his grandfather but that was because of natural causes, not murder. So Tyler did the only thing he could think of. He put his arms around her and let her snuggle into his side.
When she pulled away from him to look at his face, she smiled. “Thank you, Tyler. I really appreciate you being there for me.”
Tyler smiled in return. “It's the least I could do.” He said.
“Do you...” Carolyn began but trailed off. She wasn't sure if she should ask her question or not. She wasn't sure what he would say and she didn't want to be embarrassed if his answer wasn't what she was expecting.
“No, go ahead.” He encouraged. “You can ask me anything.”
“Um...” She looked down at her hands. “Do you... Do you...” She was having a hard time finding the words to say what she wanted to say. “Do you want to sleep with me tonight?” She finally said.
When she saw Tyler's reaction, she mentally slapped herself for the way she worded it. “I mean— That's not what I meant. I meant—”
“I know what you meant.” Tyler chuckled. “But yes. I'd like that.”
Carolyn led Tyler back inside the house and up to her room. He let her get under the blankets first and then followed behind. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and let her fall asleep safely in his arms.