They were down to coffees laced with Drambuie, accompanied by cheesecake pudding at a dim, small booth in the back of One Pico, the French joint located inside Shutters. The ground floor location of One Pico was not without peril as the storm outside drove the surf high up the beach on which the hotel sat.
"When I married Hershey," Rickie said, "it all happened so fast. You remember that wedding we had in Vegas?"
"How could I forget?" Judy said. "As your maid of honor, I can testify he was drunk the whole time."
"I must have been out of my mind to marry him on the spur of the moment like that," Rickie continued. "What was I thinking? I didn't even tell my son his mother was getting married."
"That should have told you something," Judy said. "But don't blame yourself. Five years ago, Jesse Edwin was too busy getting wasted to care what his mother did."
"I had no idea how quickly things would turn to shit. The first week after we got back from Vegas, Hirschfeld and I started arguing over the pattern the vacuum made on the carpet. That was the first time he slugged me. He broke off my left front tooth. I went into total shock."
"We all did."
"Looking back, Judy, I think I married Hirschfeld because I was overwhelmed by his money and power. The night I met him was the first time I'd ever ridden in a Rolls. I was also very flattered. Starlets throw themselves at him four or five times a day."
"Rickie, forget the starlets. He was lucky to find you. You're a natural beauty. That's something rare in Hollywood. And you're mature. There's no way he could keep up with a young trophy wife."
"I guess. Sometimes I think the real reason I got married was because I was single and going nowhere at 45. I sacrificed my life for my son, and I was facing the empty nest years alone."
"Okay," said Judy. "It's all behind you tonight. The question is, where do you go from here?"
"I don't know. I do know I'm not going back. I meant what I said earlier."
They were practically alone. There were few diners, save for a table of unlucky tourists trapped by the storm. Even the main attraction of Shutters--the infamous Venice Beach boardwalk--was deserted.
"My biggest fear is finding the courage to start over," Rickie said. "I wish I was a little younger. I'll be 50 next year."
"You will be, if you make it that far. Don't worry about finding the courage first. Courage comes when it's needed and not before."
"I don't know what I'll do about money."
"That's easy," Judy said. "You'll hire Gloria Allred. She eats pit bulls for breakfast. You can take Hirschfeld for everything he's got."
Rickie spooned up a healthy glop of pudding liberally slopped with raspberry sauce and glommed down the mixture with a greedy sucking sound, followed by a slurp of the coffee. "Try some," she said, holding forth a spoonful towards Judy's envious eyes.
"I can't. I'm doing my after New Year's Simmons’s diet again, and I've already snapped down all the little windows in my daily card."
"You don't know what you're missing."
"Oh hell, give me a bite," Judy replied. "Oh God, that is good."
"I'm pregnant,” Rickie said.
The statement zinged out there, going much too fast for either woman to grab hold of. Unbroken silence held sway for a considerable length of time. For long minutes they held on to each other, during which time the waiter appeared and, rebuffed by their complete detachment, disappeared without comment.
"I'm scared, Judy. He hit me in the stomach and now I've got cramps. I'm afraid I'm going to lose the baby."
"Did he know you were pregnant when he did that?"
"No. I was going to tell him tonight. I think it was why I was preoccupied and forgot to order his wine."
"I'm taking you to the emergency room," Judy said.
"No. I'm probably exaggerating. If it gets any worse, I'll call Dr. Lerner. Listen, thanks for the sympathy. I think I'll go on up to my suite and rest."
"I'm coming with you, Rickie."
"No. You've done enough. I'm going straight to bed."
"Rickie, it's me you're talking to. You're going to call him, aren't you? You're going to tell him you're pregnant."
Rickie smiled sadly and squeezed her friend's hand. "I'll call you in the morning."
There wasn't much more to say at the end of this conversational path. In fact, there was very little reason to do much of anything at all in the aftermath of this confrontation with love and life, and the accompanying inexpressible loneliness Rickie felt. She arose from the table slowly, realizing it had been a long time since she'd heard herself laugh, and wondering when it would be before she heard it again.