****
Emily
As soon as I heard the door shut, I fell to my knees and cupped my face in my hands, letting out the hardest cry I’d ever had. He only loved me as a friend and hearing those words hurt me more than anything I had ever experienced in my life, even the death of my mother. Don’t get me wrong; the pain I felt after she was gone was unbearable, but I was prepared. She had been sick for months and the doctors couldn’t do anything else for her. The cancer had spread too much and too fast. We talked about her death a lot and made preparations for it. It didn’t make it any easier, but at least I wasn’t caught off guard. With him, I was. I was certain he had more than just friendly feelings for me. I would say he was lying, but his tone was so serious and a tear never filled his eye. He stared at me as if he was some kind of robot.
I fell to my side on the floor and tucked myself into a fetal position while the tears freely flowed down my face. Was this how my mother felt when she found out that Gregory wasn’t coming back? Was it this pain and anguish that pushed her to become so bitter about relationships? I understood it now and I never should have let my guard down. If I hadn’t, he’d still be here and we’d be having sex like we always did. I’d wake up in his arms and we’d kiss each other goodbye before heading to work. Now, all of that was gone and I was left here all alone to deal with the destruction of my emotional state by myself. I felt sick to my stomach, so I dragged myself into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet while the vomit rose in my throat.
After wiping my mouth, I pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, bringing my knees to my chest and curling into a ball. I’d thought about calling Katie and Evelyn, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I wasn’t ready to relive the events of tonight and how Jackson just walked out of my life because I let myself fall in love with him.
****
Jackson
Slowly opening my eyes, I placed my hand on my aching head. Several groans escaped me as I rolled over and felt the empty spot beside me. She wasn’t here and, for a brief moment, I had forgotten. Thoughts of her and last night crept inside my head. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I had two missed calls and several text messages from Jules.
“Dad had a mild heart attack and he’s in the hospital. Get here as soon as you can.”
“Jackson, where the fuck are you?”
“Why aren’t you answering your phone? I tried to call Emily, but it went straight to voicemail.”
“If this is your way of punishing Mom and Dad, you suck and I’m so pissed at you right now.”
I quickly sat up and dialed her number. After a few rings, it went to voicemail.
“Jules, I’m sorry. I had a rough night and I was passed out. I’m on my way, but I need details. Is he okay? What room is he in?”
I reeked of alcohol, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have time to shower. After I put on some clothes and brushed my teeth, Jules called.
“Hello.”
“He’s fine and he’s in room 4012.” Her tone was cold and flat.
“Jules, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear my phone.”
“Just get here as soon as you can.”
She was mad and I didn’t blame her. They needed me last night and I failed them because I was in a drunken state over a woman whose heart I broke. While Edward drove me to the hospital, I called my secretary to let her know that I wasn’t coming in until later. When I walked into room 4012, my dad was sleeping and my mother was at his side, holding his hand.
“It’s about time you got here,” she spoke in a stern voice without looking at me.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t hear my phone.”
“Were you with her?” she asked.
“No. I was in a bar getting drunk and then went home and passed out.”
She turned her head and her eyes met mine.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I don’t know. How is he?”
“He’s doing better now. He will be going in for bypass surgery in a couple of hours.”
“Is he going to be okay?” I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“Do you really care?”
“Mom. Don’t. Of course I care.”
She brought her hand up to mine and gently squeezed it. “He’s going to be okay.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my hand on his arm. Thoughts of how he could have died plagued me.
“Well, look who decided to show up,” Jules spoke as she walked into the room.
“Not now, Jules.”
“Step outside in the hall for a moment. I need a word with you.”
Rolling my eyes and letting out a sigh, I followed her out to the hallway.
“What the fuck, Jackson? We needed you here last night. Mom needed you here last night.”
“I said I was sorry. I didn’t hear my phone,” I spoke through gritted teeth.
“What happened? And by the way, you reek of alcohol.”
Running my hand through my hair, I leaned against the wall.
“Emily and I won’t be seeing each other anymore.”
“Why?” she asked as she placed her hands on her hips.
“We just aren’t and I don’t want to get into it right now. Just not right now, Jules. Please.”
“Fine.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Just tell me one thing. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.”
I’d spent the day with my mom in the waiting room while my dad was in surgery and Jules was back in the ER finishing her shift. She and Carter both came up to check on things in between patients.
Chapter 39
Emily
It had been a long week and I kept myself busy by burying myself in my work. Working twelve-to fourteen-hour days just to keep my mind off of Jackson. Evelyn and Katie tried to get me to go out with them, but I didn’t feel like it. All I wanted to do was work and go home and sleep. I missed him so much and this adjustment without seeing him was incredibly hard. My first heartbreak ever, and believe me when I tell you, I don’t ever want to experience it again. I now saw why my mother went to great lengths to protect her heart after Gregory.
“Hey, Emily,” Katie spoke as she stuck her head in the backroom. “Jules is here to see you.”
“Thanks. Tell her I’ll be out in a second.”
She was the last person I wanted to see right now. Even though we were friends, she was a reminder of him. I wasn’t sure what he told her, if he said anything at all. Getting up from my chair, I walked out of the back and saw her standing by the jewelry display.
“Hey, Jules.” I forced a smile.
“Hi, Emily.” She hugged me tight. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“Are you doing some shopping?” I asked.
“I’m on my lunch break and I thought I’d drop by to see you. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah. It has.” I looked down.
“Why don’t we head down to the deli and grab a little something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry, but I’ll go with you.”
As soon as we stepped out of the shop, she wrapped her arm around mine.
“What happened between you and Jackson?”
“He didn’t mention it?” I asked.
“Not really. He just said that the two of you wouldn’t be seeing each other anymore and he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“I broke rule number nine,” I spoke as I stared straight ahead.
“And rule number nine was what?”
“A simple one, really. I fell in love with him.”
“Oh, Emily. Of course you did. Even though he doesn’t deserve your love.”
We walked inside the deli and took a seat at one of the tables next to the window.
“I told him and his response was that he loved me as a friend and nothing more.”
“Asshole.” She frowned.
“I broke one of the rules and now I am paying the consequences for it. I
t’s my fault. I never should have signed that contract. Now that I think about it, I was so stupid.”
“No you weren’t. You did what you thought was right at the time because your beliefs were different. I get that.”
“I never planned on telling him that I loved him, but we started arguing and he said some things that really hurt me, so I just told him.”
After the waitress stopped by our table and Jules placed her order, she reached across the table and grabbed hold of my hands.
“And you should have told him. You had every right. What if something happened to him before you got the chance to tell him?”
A feeling of nausea hit me the moment the waitress set down Jules’ corned beef sandwich in front of her.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “All of a sudden, you look really pale.”
“I feel really sick to my stomach. Excuse me for a moment.” I got up and ran to the bathroom.
I knew it was nerves, for it had been happening all week. Hence the reason I’d barely eaten. When I got back to the table, Jules looked at me strangely.
“Were you sick?” she asked with concern.
“Yeah. It’s been happening all week. It’s just nerves. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure that’s what it is? I am a doctor. I can check you out.”
“I’m fine, Jules. Trust me. This whole thing with Jackson has me all messed up. Please promise me you won’t tell him.”
“I won’t. But if it persists, I want you to come see me.”
“I will.”
After lunch, Jules went back to the hospital and I went back to the shop.
****
Jackson
My father was released from the hospital and he was doing well. Since he didn’t have a permanent place here in New York yet, my mother moved him in with her so she could help with his recovery. Seeing them together like this was strange and a bit unsettling to me. My father and I had a long talk and I apologized to both him and my mother for the way I behaved towards them. But I did make it very clear that if they decided that things weren’t going to work out again, I would not be around and I didn’t want to hear about it.
I was sitting in my office one morning and Audrey, my secretary, walked in and placed some papers on my desk. The smell of her perfume caught me off guard.
“Audrey, what kind of perfume are you wearing?”
“Joe Malone.” She smiled. “My husband bought it for me for our anniversary.”
“Do me a favor and please don’t wear it to the office.”
“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry.” She looked at me strangely.
“Did I just hear you tell Audrey not to wear that perfume?” Samuel asked as he stepped into my office.
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that some form or harassment or something? I think it smells nice.”
“It’s the same perfume Emily wears and I never liked it.”
“You’re lying. You’re just trying to forget her.”
“Maybe I am.” I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head.
“Is this worth it, man? You feeling this way when all you simply have to do is call her.”
“It would be much harder down the road, Sam.”
“What you and Emily had was really good and don’t tell me it was because of that damn contract. You were happy when you were with her and now look at you. You’re miserable as all fuck.”
“She broke the rules and she knew the consequences.”
“Fuck the rules, Jackson. Like I said before, rules were made to be broken, whether you’re the great Jackson Caine or not.”
“Are you finished?” I asked. “I have to get going.”
“Yeah. I guess I am. Want to grab some dinner later?”
“Maybe tomorrow. I need to go see my dad.”
“I hate seeing you like this, bro. I’ve never seen you like this. What does that tell you?” He walked out of my office.
I left the office for a meeting with a client who was interested in renting a space I owned over on East Twelfth Street.
“Ms. Goodman?”
“Yes. You must be Mr. Caine.”
“I am.” I smiled as I extended my hand to her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“And you as well.” She smiled back.
“Shall we have a look inside?” I stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. “May I ask what business you’re planning on opening?”
“A cupcake shop.” She brightly smiled.
“Ah. Those are nice.”
“It’s always been a dream of mine and it’s what my husband would have wanted.”
“Would have?” I asked.
“He passed away about six months ago. We were married for ten wonderful years.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. My husband and I saved practically everything we earned to open a shop. Then he got sick and the medical bills started pouring in. He made me promise that I would use his life insurance money to open up my business.”
“He sounds like he was a great man.”
“He was.” She smiled. “And I wouldn’t have traded the last ten years with him for anything. He was the love of my life and he made me very happy. I’m doing it as much for him as for me.”
“It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage.”
“It was. Don’t get me wrong, we did have our ups and downs like any couples does, but our love was strong enough to work through them. We never gave up on each other, and when he died, I felt like a piece of me died with him. I’m a forty-year-old widow and I’m starting over, putting all my focus into our dream.”
I gave her a smile as she continued to look around.
“This is perfect. You said the rent was five thousand a month?”
“I was mistaken. It’s thirty-five hundred.”
After setting up a meeting to sign the lease agreement later in the week, she left and I stayed back to turn off the lights and lock up. As I approached the door and was just about to walk out, I stopped when I saw Emily walk by. My heart starting pounding at the sight of her in her long black coat and black knit hat. She looked beautiful and an overwhelming sadness consumed me. More so than what I already felt. Was this feeling worth it? This misery that overtook me? No matter how hard I tried to fight it and get my life back to normal, it didn’t matter. Walking away from women had always been easy, but not with her. I figured a couple of days at the most and she’d be out of my mind, but she wasn’t. She had a hold on me that was too strong to fight.
Something Ms. Goodman said stuck with me. How she wouldn’t trade the past ten years with her husband for anything. I wouldn’t have traded the past few months with Emily. What we had, what we shared, and the things we did were phenomenal. I hurt her in a way that I would never be able to forgive myself for. I was angry she broke the rules and I wanted to punish her for doing so. But I was only punishing myself because I did feel things I’d never felt before, and I knew it the whole time we were together, but I pushed it aside out of fear. Fear that things would change between us.
I stepped outside the building and locked the door. Looking down the street, I saw she turned the corner, so I decided to follow her. Why? I had no idea. Seeing her again stirred up more than just feelings. It stirred up memories we had made, and a time that made me the happiest I’d ever been. I needed to reach out to her, but I was scared at what her reaction would be. Was she okay? Had she already forgotten about me and moved on, not giving what we had another thought? She was out of sight so I hailed a cab and, instead of going back to the office, I went home.
Chapter 40
Emily
One Week Later
I needed to get away for a few days and do some soul searching and self-reflecting. My life had been forever changed and I needed some time alone to think. Gregory and his wife had rented a place in Montauk for the week and invited me to join them. Despite the fact that fall had settled in and the temperatures were getting coo
ler, it would be a great place for me to escape for a few days and spend some time with my dad.
It was eight o’clock p.m. when I threw my suitcase in the back of my rental car and started my journey. I got a late start because I needed to make sure everything was in order before I left. I wasn’t worried about the store because I knew Katie would look after things while I was gone. This trip was something I needed to do for my own sake and well-being. I needed to put my relationship and all thoughts of Jackson out of my head and begin healing my broken heart. When I returned, things would be different, and I needed to prepare for that.
****
Jackson
It was nine o’clock in the evening and I was out for a late dinner with Samuel when my phone rang and I saw Jules was calling.
“Hello.”
“Jackson. I need you to get down to the ER as soon as possible. There’s been an accident,” she spoke in a panicked tone.
“What kind of accident? Are Mom and Dad okay?”
“It’s Emily. She’s been in a car accident and the paramedics are on their way in. I thought you would want to know.”
“What?!” I shouted. “I’m on my way.”
“What happened?” Samuel asked.
“Emily’s been in a car accident and I need to get to the hospital.” I flew out of my chair.
“Go, man. Go. Don’t worry about the bill. I got it.”
I raced outside the restaurant and climbed into the back of my limo.
“Edward, we need to get to the hospital now! Emily’s been in an accident.”
My heart was pounding and horrible thoughts were racing inside my head. Why the hell was she driving? Where was she going? I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, taking in several deep breaths to calm the panic that had risen inside me.
Edward pulled up to the curb of the ER, and I ran inside, stopping at the security desk.
“Dr. Jules Caine. There’s been an accident and I’m her brother. She just called me.”
The security guard opened the double doors and I saw Jules and Carter standing a few feet away with their arms folded.