He pulled out an old pencil stub from his glove compartment and began to scribble his blueprints on the back of a cocktail napkin he’d gotten the last time he’d gone down ta the Roundup Bar and Grill in town. Ernest was scribbling so fast that Bo Dean could barely understand what he was doing, so he grabbed another beer out of the back of the truck so’s they could stay focused together.
As soon as Ernest finished his scribbling, he held it up for Bo Dean to see and marvel at the idear. It was genius, Bo Dean could see clearly.
Now all they had to do was to pick out all of the stuff they’d need from MikeyLee’s stockpile, and they would get started.
They spent about an hour carefully picking out the things they needed to complete the new project. One by one, they piled the things into the back of the truck bed, being sure not to cover up their toolbox or the ice chest, so’s they could get to reaching everything they would need to get the new wood project done rightly and expeditiously.
Soon the back of the pickup was loaded, and they headed up the dirt road, making a sharp right at the fork in the road so’s to go towards MikeyLee’s place They had to stop for a minute and put some of the things back on the truck, since it slipped and fell out when they made the sharp angled turn, but it gave them an excuse to grab another beer and some of the fried chicken mama had made for them. They ate and chugged the cool beers almost in silence.
Bo Dean knew that Ernest was the brains of the two of them, so he figured that Ernest was thinking hard of what they were needing to do first in order to complete this new and exciting,
big wood project they were about to take on. Bo Dean ate the chicken thinking about how much it tasted like the squirrels they had ate for dinner the other night, and sipped his beer slowly, thankful for it’s cold refreshment in the heat of this day.
When they finally pulled up to MikeyLee’s house, Ernest jumped out of the trunk and went up to the front porch. He didn’t have to knock because MikeyLee’s old blood hounds had already started to barking, announcing his arrival way before he had gotten near the screen door.
MikeyLee came out da front door hitching up his suspenders to his britches, trying to open his eyes to see who wast ta calling that early in the morning time. He grinned onced he recognized it was the good ol’d boys.
“Howdy, Ernest, ‘morning Bo Dean, how’s ya’ll doing this fine morning?” MikeyLee offered with that big gap-toothed grin on his face.
“Hey, MikeyLee,” Ernest greeted his friend and then spit over the side of the front porch.
“Hey,” said Bo Dean, nodding his head towards the doorway trying to avoid a chance meeting of the eyes with MikeyLee’s witchy wife.
Ernest pulled out the blueprints he’d written on the cocktail napkin for their next big wood project and started explaining his idea to MikeyLee. It wasn’t long before MikeyLee had the biggest, goofiest grin all acrost his face and he slapped at his big beer belly in glee.
“Well, bless my hide, Ernest Beauregard Harford! You are a genius of wood if I ever did see one!” MikeyLee shouted at the top of his lungs. “You bet I’m gonna say ok to this here idear, Ernest, this here idear is…just amazin’! You are gonna put this here Barnes farm at’n the top of the map in this county!” MikeyLee stepped off the porch to eye the pile of goodies in the truck.
“Y’all gonna start today, right?” MikeyLee looked at the two brothers hoping they would say yes.
Bo Dean reached back into the ice chest and pulled out another round of beers for the three of them. They stood for a moment in silence as Bo Dean yanked the twist tops off and flipped them into the truck bed.
“Yep, MikeyLee, we are starting today, right now, this right ‘chere minute. You just point us in the right direction of where you want us all to begin.” Ernest’s tone had taken on a focused, serious note.
MikeyLee rubbed his stubbled chin with his hand and surveyed the land in front of him. He turned to the right, and then to the left, and after his thoughtful moment, he slowly pointed towards a clearing very close to a little crick running next to his house. “Right there’ll be good, Ernest…yep, right there.”
Ernest put his hand on MikeyLee’s shoulder. “That there is a good choice, son. It’s gonna work out fine, just you wait and see.”
After taking a short break to finish their beer, Ernest and Bo Dean began to unload the items from the back of the pickup truck and they laid the items down in neat tidy piles.
First wood, two by fours, short sticks, long wood panels, and tall planks of plywood. Hardware, like brackets and screws and nuts and bolts were all laid down on small pieces of torn plastic and newspaper to keep them in one place. Nails and hammers were all laid in a row. That was one thing about those good ol’ boys, they worked neat and tidy, just like real professionals.
Bo Dean pulled a couple of shovels out the back of the truck and began to dig a trench all the way down towards the crick bed. Once Ernest had made sure all of their tools and supplies were
in order and ready to be put together in the next big wood project, he went to work on a trench on the opposite side of the one Bo Dean was a diggin’.
They dug for a few hours when MikeyLee came out to help ‘em once his son-in-law Jehoshaphat had come by to see what was going on. MikeyLee and Jehoshaphat weren’t sure what Ernest and Bo Dean needed with two trenches towards the crick but they didn’t say anything, just started diggin’ right alongside the good ol’ boys.
MikeyLee figured that was just something for the big wood project geniuses to know about so he didn’t question the rhyme or reason for the digging. And since everyone else was a-doing it, he figured it had to make sense to go right along wit it.
After a few hours of flying dirt and a little bit of cussing and fussing over rocks and tree roots, the trenches were to Ernest’s liking, so they sat back and admired their handiwork. One of the trenches was a little crooked on its way to the crick but they figured that it tweren’t too bad after all and just left it as it was.
Bo Dean fetched a beer for all of them and they talked about the phase two of the project and how it twas that the big wood project would pan out on the clearing overlooking the crick bed. Ernest had a sparkling gleam in his eye thinking about the finished project and everyone could see that he was ready to see his dream come true.
But at the same time, they all had worked pretty hard today in digging the trenches so they decided enough was enough and it was time to eat. MikeyLee’s wife had fixed some turtle soup for them and served it to them with some homemade cornbread that really hit the spot although it was a might tough to take in the heat and all. But the good ol’ boys ate it down with gusto and thanked her for the fine vittels, without looking at her in the eye of course.
Sitting on MikeyLee’s front porch, they kept a looking over ta da pile of stuff and admiring how fine all that stuff was that MikeyLee got and they laughed together at what a killing he had made by getting all this stuff.
“My, oh, my,” Ernest complimented MikeyLee, “we done got all this here stuff, and there’s still plenty of stuff down dere at cha barn! You have enough stuff to keep you busy in good projects for many a moon!” They all hooted in admiration of MikeyLee’s stuff.
“And it cost me nary a penny, too, by dilly dang golly!” MikeyLee lifted up his beer bottle and waved it around like a magic wand. The boys all hooted again.
Well, they all kepta hooping and a-hollaring there on the porch ‘til it was almost dinnertime and that’s when Ernest remembered that mama wanted them home for supper. So he and Bo Dean took their farewells of MikeyLee and his son-in-law and headed home, promising to be back early the next morning to get the next big wood project started out again.
CHAPTER THREE
So they had come home last night, had ‘em a mess of bluegill that Uncle Tommy had ketched for dinner that evening. Knowing they had to get back to the next big wood project, Ernest and Bo Dean headed off to bed early with their full st
omachs, anxious to wake up the next morning and get on wit it.
So’s the new day dawns with a little cooler weather and the good ol’ boys head out to MikeyLee’s house bright and early so’s as to catch all the coolness for their work.
They had already talked about the day’s work, and they got right to starting laying down some big old PVC pipes in the trenches they had dug the day afore’n. Once that job was done, they wiped down their hands and dug out of the ice chest for some beer and a few sammiches mama had made for ‘em. Ernest twasn’t taking no prisoners today, he was like a madman working on the next big wood project and so far’n, they hadn’t touched much wood so he musta been itching to get to it.
After eating and talking about their plans for the project, Ernest and Bo Dean got to the work of the work and began to build up the foundation of the new wood project with the two by fours they had neatly piled into a pile of the workin’ supplies.
Ernest stopped for a minute to lean back and looked at the outline the boards made. “Bo Dean,” he says to Bo Dean, “Are you purdy sure that end of your framing is straight on and ain’t a-leaning on to crooked now?”
Bo Dean lined up his part of the wooden frame with the beer bottle he helt in his hand, eyeballing down the bottleneck to make sure the wood had been nailt on straightways.
“Well, brotha, I do be’s a-thinking it’s looking fine and dandy from my end right ‘chere. I don’t be a-seeing any bendy or crooked parts from this angle down,” replied Bo Dean.
Ernest upended his Coors and took a big swig before eyeballing the wood frame on Bo Dean’s side.
“Uh….huh..mmmmmmm,” he mumbled as he lined up the frame with his beer bottle too, “I be thinkin’s you right, brudda, it be lookin’ ok by me, too.”
They both grinned at the sight of their handiwork.
“Lookin’ to me like she may be a-done alrighty sooner than I thought her might be,” Ernest said daydreaming about having the next big wood project finished already.
“Hmmm,hmmmm,” Bo Dean replied as he held his beer bottle to his lips, “She’s a looking might fine.”
As soon as they finished admiring their work, the boys tossed away their beer bottles and went back at a-building the next big wood project.
Purdy soon they noticed that MikeyLee and Jehoshaphat had brought over some lawn chairs and they were sitting there admiring the new wooden frame and the walls as they were bein’ built up on the sides.
MikeyLee waved at Ernest and Bo Dean and told them he was really enjoying watching what they were doing and all. The good ol’ boys waved back and grinned at him but they had become too intense on the work at hand and didn’t want to take a break yet anyway. Ernest was a-getting’ all worked up with the realization that his newest big wood project would be almost finished and he was working on the walls of the building they was building and he just knew if they stayed at it, it wouldse prolly be done right near soon.
He kept hammering nails and Bo Dean and him had already connected two walls together on the wood frame and Lordy, Lordy, it twas looking mighty fine, mighty fine. When they got the other two walls together, it was just as Ernest had thought that Bo Dean had nailed the bottom frame a little crookeder than needed be, so they had to kind of finagle the walls together, even though it left a gap in the part where the bottom of the plywood was supposed to fit into the frame part of the two by fours on the ground, but Ernest pulled out his duct tape and closed that there gap right up without nary a problem
The two brothers looked at the fine work they had done and slapped each other on the back in congratulations. They were making good progress and Ernest was a-thinking they might even be able to finish this project by nightfall, but mebbe not. They’d see.
Right soon, MikeyLee’s father-in-law stopped by to try and figure out where Jehoshaphat was, and he became intrigued with what the good ol’ boys were doing. He could see plainly that they had a-set their minds to doing this job, and he walked up on it to try and figure out exactly what they were a-doing.
“Well, all I can tell ye is this,” started Ernest, “MikeyLee din’t want nobody a tellin’ what this project was until it almost dun, ‘causin’ he wanting to surprise his missus with it and all. So we have dun sworn to secrecy about it, but you stick around and you will sure’n likely be able to figure out what it be.” He wiped some sweat from his brow.
“Me and Bo Dean here, we have determined that we will be a-finishing this project by the end of the evening today. It has gotten into our blood, and we just got to let the magic work itself out of us.”
MikeyLee’s father-in-law, Dickie Sams, stood back and surveyed the work the boys had done. They surely twas a pair of wood geniuses, he thought to hisself. He admired the way the woods all went in the same direction…well, exceptin’ that one piece, and he was amazed at how they had fixed that screwed up piece on the bottom without cha hardly being able to tell, with all that duct tape wrapped around another piece of wood covering it up and all.
Dickie Sams shook his head in wonder at the fine job they were doing, but decided he was going to go back home and bring his woman and her kinfolk over to watch the good ol’ boys at work. After all, this project would surely be an important piece of history to this neck of the woods and he felt that the rest of the family should see it as it happened to being built. Dickie told MikeyLee that he was taking his leave of him for the moment, but he was gonna come back real soon with Starletta Jean and her folks so theyse could all watch this momentus occasion and MikeyLee thought this was real fine of him, to share it with them and all.
Dickie drove off in practically new Ford F210 and MikeyLee watched him as he left out to get the family. Too bad he caught that door on a tree, MikeyLee thought as his eyes followed his father-in-law’s truck as it moved out the driveway. That would sure’n be a pretty pickup truck if the door had stayed right side on. But then he thought about it again and figured quite rightly that the new door hinges made out of leather straps gave the truck a dignified look about it. Almost like a frontier wagon, MikeyLee thought to hisself, you know, with buckskin fringe on it and all. They would call it special.
MikeyLee went on back to watching the amazing work of the good ol’ boys and the next big wood project they were working on right in front of his very eyes. He leaned back in his yard chair to reach into the metal tub his old lady had set out next aside him to grab another beer. He hollered over ta Ernest and Bo Dean and seed if they twanted another cold one. They both shooked their heads yes so he handed two bottles over ta Jehoshaphat and had him walk them over to ‘um.
The boys popped open the drinks and took long drinks.
“It’s goin’ purdy good now, Ernest,” MikeyLee offered.
“It shore do look good, don’t it be?” Ernest asked to no one in particular.
He and Bo Dean went back to hammering and sawing and measuring things. They hooked up latches and made door jams and attached shiny brass hardware all over the place.
Dickie Sams pulled up with Starletta Jean and her kin. Starletta Jean’s papa, mama, grandpa and eight children all piled out of the truck bed and began to pull out lawn chairs, blankets and Thermos coolers so’s’en they could sit around and watch the good ol’ boys at work.
There was soon a cloud of dust down the road, indicating another vehicle coming down to MikeyLee’s home. MikeyLee watched the road ‘til he saw Ronnie Turner’s wife and kids a-coming in their old pink Cadillac and he waved as she parked her car near the house and headed in to talk to his old lady.
Twasn’t long afore Ronnie Turner’s wife and kids made their way up the short hill to the clearing to sit and watch what was going on with Ernest and Bo Dean. She grabbed a beer out of Ernest’s cooler and laid a blanket on the ground for her and her kids to sit on. MikeyLee nodded his head her way and turned back to the work at hand.
The constant bang, bang, band of Ernest and Bo Dean’s hammers filled up the hollar with the only sounds ‘cep
tin’ for the screaming kids running all over the place. MikeyLee thought he had never heered anything that purdy in his lifetime and leaned so far back in his lawn chair to relax that the darn thing collapsed sideways and then folded him up in itself, causing him to have to yell overter Jehoshaphat to come get him out of the convoluted mess.
By the time he got all undone, he stood straight up and took in the full complete view of the next big wood project standing in front of him. His jaw dropped down, showing the few teeth he had
left in his mouth and the big wad of chewing tobacky he had tucked in the corner of his cheek. MikeyLee’s eyes widened and he whistled loudly.
Ernest and Bo Dean stepped back to accept his awe and admiration, and decided since the whole outside of the new big wood project was done now, they would take a break and eat their lunch. Sweat was dripping all over their body, but they were both standing tall and proud with the little crowd that had gathered to watch them build.
As they walked away from the project, some of the kids and a few of the grownups walked closer over ta see what had been done so far. The good ol’ boys could hear comments of high appreciation towards their fine workmanship, and they were just wallowing in pride as they sat down to a lunch of wild turkey and dumplings. Bo Dean had to admit that MikeyLee’s witchy woman was a purdy good cook. Ernest tole him they might have to worry about her putting some kinda poison inta da food, but MikeyLee told them that he takes extra care in where he be’s keeping the rat poisons and stuff like that around the house ‘cause she always be telling him she’s a-gunna kill him with poison, so they ate lunch without too much worry about that evil eye thing or poison a-getting them.