“What’s that?” I replied.
“I’m giving you an opportunity to learn from this experience. I know it will be difficult not being with Josie and Lucy at the Shack, but I think we both know you’ll be the better for it.”
Better? There was no way I would be better because I lost my job.
Mr. Holden stood up and pushed his chair back. He picked up the milk and strawberries and walked them back to the refrigerator: then returned to the table and took the bowl of cereal before turning to leave. I wasn’t above begging him to change his mind, and I was about to do just that when he stopped and faced me again.
“I’ll tell you what, Emily. I’ve known you a long time, and you’ve always been a good kid. So I’m willing to give you a break.”
I let a huge breath of relief escape and almost wanted to hug the man. “Thank you, Mr. Holden. I really appreciate that.”
“I know you do.” He smiled at me, and I felt like we were having a moment. “You can borrow one of the bikes in the garage. That should help you get around while you look for a new job.”
So much for our moment.
Mr. Holden had to know my parents would kill me for losing my job at the Shack. Not just losing, but being fired. I was a crappy employee. Irresponsible. Unreliable.
I was my mom’s worst nightmare.
As I made my way upstairs to my new bedroom, I could hear Mr. Holden laughing at something on the TV he was watching in the family room, completely unaware that while he was eating a bowl of Mini-Wheats, my entire summer was blowing up.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Mr. Holden had told Josie and Lucy he was going to fire me. And if he had, why didn’t they warn me?
“Are you guys awake?” I whispered, closing the bedroom door behind me with a soft click. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I started to make out two rumpled figures in the beds.
“What happened to you tonight?” a voice asked. I didn’t need to see her face to recognize that it was Josie, or that the flat, snipped tone meant she wasn’t just awake, she’d been waiting for me. I knew my best friend well enough to know she wasn’t asking because she was concerned. She wasn’t even asking because I’d promised her dad I’d work tonight. No, Josie had been lying awake in bed, waiting for me to come home and explain why I’d chosen Luke over my friends.
“I decided to stay until the last ferry,” I told her, feeling my way toward the bed until my fingertips found the cool, soft comforter, its embroidered starfish guiding me toward the pillow propped up and waiting for me. I kicked off my flip-flops and crawled between the sheets. I could see the shadow of my two unpacked bags sitting on the floor, reminding me that I hadn’t even been here twenty-four hours and already things were out of whack.
“We know that.” I heard the click of a lamp switch just before the room exploded with light. “What we don’t know is why.”
Josie was sitting up in bed looking at me. Lucy was in the other bed, on her side, her head resting in her hand as she waited for me to answer.
I wished there was an easy explanation—I missed the ferry, I lost my wallet—anything that wouldn’t sound as bad as the truth. I made a choice. I couldn’t even tell them it had been worth it, only that, at the time, it had seemed like the right choice.
“It’s a long story,” I told them instead.
“I could go for a good bedtime story,” Lucy offered, giving me a weak smile and, at the same time, letting me know she was willing to hear me out. “What happened?”
I could tell Lucy was hoping for a good excuse—something that kept me from looking like the terrible friend I resembled right now. My only real option was to tell them the truth and hope they’d understand.
“I’m sorry, I know I blew it. It’s just that, well, remember Sam? The family friend Luke’s staying with?”
“Yeah.” Lucy yawned, and even though it was late and she was probably tired from working, I couldn’t help but think my bedtime story wasn’t as interesting as she’d hoped, and she thought my reason for staying on the island with Luke was going to be lame.
“She hates me.”
“She?” they both repeated in unison.
“Yep. Sam is a girl. And apparently she hates me.”
“So?” Josie shrugged. “You decided to blow off your first night of work so you could try to make her like you?”
“Of course not,” I told them, even though Josie was sort of right. Hadn’t that been what I was trying to do in the kitchen before I realized Sam had no intention of becoming my friend? Josie knew me too well. That’s the thing about best friends, there’s no bullshitting them, even when you wished you could.
“Then what? I don’t get it. Besides, it’s just some stupid family friend he never sees anyway. Who cares if she hates you. She doesn’t even know you,” Josie pointed out, which was so like her, to come to my defense even when she was pissed I ditched them tonight.
But the thing was, I cared.
On the ferry back to Woods Hole, I’d kept thinking that if only Sam knew me, everything would be fine again. Only now, watching Josie and Lucy wait for my answer, I knew that Sam not liking me wasn’t what really bothered me. Of course I wanted her to like me. I wanted all of Luke’s friends to like me. I’d gone out of my way to show all of them that I knew I’d made a mistake and I wouldn’t screw Luke over again. But it wasn’t why Sam hated me that bothered me so much, because she was just looking out for Luke, which is what friends do. I mean, Sam jumped into an ocean and saved Luke from drowning while everyone else sat on the rocks and watched. She didn’t do that because Luke was just some guy, even if she was a lifeguard. Whatever was between Sam and Luke, it was important.
How could I compete with the eighteen years of summers Sam and Luke already shared? How could Luke ignore what Sam thought about me when she obviously knew more about Luke than I did?
“It’s not that she hates me so much, it’s why she hates me. Luke told her about the guide.”
“He did?” Josie punched her pillow and positioned it behind her head. “Why would he do that?”
This time, it was my turn to shrug. “He said he didn’t do it on purpose. They were just talking.”
“Still, that seems weird, don’t you think?” Lucy asked. “I mean, he had to know how that made you look.”
“I told him that, but he didn’t think it was a big deal.”
I half expected Lucy and Josie to agree with him, but instead they were quiet. The chirping of crickets crackled through the screens in our bedroom windows, and I pictured a row of nocturnal insects lined up outside listening to our conversation.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” I finally asked. “I mean, I thought all that was behind us.”
“It doesn’t exactly make you look like the greatest girlfriend ever, but I don’t know.” Lucy turned over onto her back and rubbed her eyes. “Maybe he wanted her to know so she’d understand what you both went through to be together. Maybe he thought she’d like you more if she knew.”
“If that was what he wanted, then it backfired, because you should see the way she looks at me.” I rested my head against my pillow and pictured Sam’s face in the kitchen—the air of confidence she filled the room with, her certainty about me, and about her relationship with Luke.
“Well, it doesn’t really matter what this Sam thinks, right?” Josie told me, once again on my side. “And obviously her opinion of you doesn’t matter that much to Luke, because it sounds like everything is fine between you two. Don’t let her get to you.”
“I know, you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Forget about Sam. You’re here now and our summer is still going to be awesome.”
I’d been trying so hard to get Lucy and Josie to understand why I’d stayed on the Vineyard with Luke that I almost forgot Sam was only half of my problem.
“Oh yeah, there’s one more thing.” I sighed. “Your dad just fired me.”
Josie tossed a pillow at the window screen and, fo
r a second, the chirping stopped. “I had a feeling he was going to do that. Now I feel bad. I can talk to him if you want, but I don’t think it will do any good. You know how he is.”
Yes, I knew. “He told me to look at this as a learning experience.”
“Oh, that is so my dad.” Josie cringed. She plumped up the one remaining pillow on her bed and laid her head down before giving me a weak smile. “It probably doesn’t help, but you still have us.”
“What are you going to do now?” Lucy asked.
“I guess I have to find another job. It’s either that or go home, right?”
Josie shook her head. “No way, you can’t do that. You just got here.”
“At least there’s one good thing in all of this,” I told them, my voice hopeful as I tried to find the silver lining in the huge storm cloud hanging over my summer.
“Sam’s really ugly?” Josie laughed at herself but when she saw my face crumple, she turned serious. “Oh, wow, that sucks.”
My inability to answer must have said it all, because Lucy and Josie climbed out of their beds and came over to sit with me.
“I was kidding. Come on, it can’t be that bad.” Josie put her arm over my shoulder and hugged me.
Lucy took Josie’s cue and wrapped her arm around my waist. “Seriously, tell us, what’s the one good thing?”
It was hard to even remember that I’d thought there was a silver lining to this storm cloud. “I was going to say at least your dad said I could borrow a bike.”
Long-Distance Relationship Tip #15:
Manage your expectations.
For example, when you will text each other or call.
And “I expect you to be thinking of me every minute of every day”
isn’t an expectation – it’s a recipe for disaster.
I had no job. No paycheck to look forward to. No car to get anywhere. No idea where anything was in town and, even if I did, no idea where to go. But I had a bike.
The next morning, I thought Mr. Holden might actually reconsider, but it turns out he’s a big believer in sticking to his word. I was going to be the example for all the other Scoop Shack employees. A cautionary tale for anyone else who thought Mr. Holden might be the kind of guy to offer second chances.
So I had two choices: call my parents and tell them to come pick me up, or find a new job. Fast.
If my parents found out I was unemployed, my summer with Josie and Lucy would be over. Not only would I have to listen to lectures about responsibility and good decision making, but they’d make me live out my last summer before college at home, by myself, solo. The only reason they agreed to let me spend the summer at Josie’s was because I had a job lined up and Mr. Holden had assured them he wasn’t about to let any of us become slackers. It was not my parents’ intention to have me lounging around the Holdens’ pool all summer working on my tan.
I left Lucy and Josie sleeping in bed and headed out early in search of anyone still looking for summer help. My transportation was in the garage—a metallic purple mountain bike with nubby tires that I hoped would keep me from wiping out on the sand-swept roads I had to navigate on my way into town.
After a few wrong turns, and asking for directions from three people who were out walking their dogs, I finally found the main street. It was exactly what you’d expect to find on a picture-perfect postcard of a quaint Cape Cod town. Green-and-white striped awnings shaded paned picture windows showcasing homemade fudge, pastel-colored flip-flops, and oversized canvas beach bags. Almost every weathered and shingled storefront seemed to have a starfish or shell motif, and American flags swayed in the breeze beside front doors propped open by heavy stones painted with the word Welcome. There had to be at least thirty shops and cafés lining the street, not to mention the colonial bed and breakfasts and seafood shanties I’d pedaled past on my way into town. I figured one of them would be grateful to have an able-bodied girl walk through their front door ready to roll up her sleeves and go to work.
But, it turns out, I figured wrong. The gift stores were fully staffed, the ice cream shops had a waiting list of students just like me hoping to score a paycheck, and the restaurants and inns wanted someone with prior experience. I tried to explain that if anyone knew how to properly serve and clean, it was the daughter of Polite Patty Abbott, but they didn’t seem impressed. Even though they all said they’d love to have my mom stop by if she ever came to town, and a few even had her bestsellers on their sitting room bookshelves, just being related to Polite Patty didn’t make up for my lack of any marketable skills.
By eleven o’clock, I’d walked in and out of every store and responded with a smile and a thank you when the managers told me they’d call if something opened up. Defeated, I pushed my bike toward a bench and sat down to figure out my next move.
Even if I could argue that it was partially Luke’s fault for even asking me to stay in the first place, I knew I had no one to blame but myself. One bad decision, and why? Because at the time, in the moment, all I could see was the knowing look on Sam’s face, equal parts disdain and satisfaction, as she stripped away the person I was trying so hard to prove I was and reminded me that it wasn’t that simple. There was something in the way she watched my reaction that made me think she enjoyed my surprise as she laid out how Luke had told her about the notebook, as if she knew he’d shared a secret, something that was meant to just be between Luke and me. She didn’t just want to protect Luke; she wanted me to know that he trusted her enough to share the details of our relationship. And she wanted me to know that, given what he’d told her, she didn’t trust me at all.
I could stay with Luke an extra hour, or two, or three, but eventually I’d have to leave and Sam would still be there. She’d share the bathroom sink every morning, kill time with games of ping pong and pool on rainy afternoons, and have hours to drift in and out of conversation instead of trying to squeeze it in to a few hours between ferry arrivals and departures.
When I was in the boathouse with Luke, I’d reduced it to a decision about a ferry. It was black and white, a yes or no answer. A or B. Go now or go later. But it was more than that. As Luke and I laid on the couch together, his warm breath in my ear every time the smooth, tanned skin of his stomach rose and fell under my fingertips, the consequences of staying didn’t scare me as much as leaving him with Sam.
All I had to do was tell Luke no. To catch the ferry as planned. I’d made the wrong choice, and instead of being able to spend my nights with Lucy and Josie and still spend some days with Luke, I was pushing a bike around Falmouth and on the verge of heatstroke.
I couldn’t call Lucy and Josie. I had a feeling I’d used up my allowance of friendly empathy last night. Now I was on my own to figure out how to undo what I’d done.
I hadn’t told Luke yet that Mr. Holden fired me. First of all, it was humiliating. I mean, he’s my best friend’s dad. You’d think if anyone would give me a break, it would be him. Second, I was hoping I’d have another job lined up before I had to tell him, which wouldn’t make my firing any less embarrassing, but at least I’d prove I hadn’t totally screwed up the summer. I didn’t want to have to tell him I was one phone call away from being exiled back to Branford.
“Wow, that sucks,” Luke commiserated with me when I finally gave in and called him. “But as long as you don’t have to work today, why don’t you come over?”
“I can’t do that, I just got here.” I took a sip of the four-dollar lemonade I’d purchased at the last café that rejected me. Apparently, quaint summer towns knew vacationers wouldn’t complain about spending an insanely ridiculous sum on something as simple as lemonade when they were just here for a week. But I was supposed to spend my summer in Falmouth and, at this rate, I’d be out of money by Monday.
“But without a job, you have no reason to hang around there all day,” Luke pointed out.
“Actually, not having a job is exactly the reason I have to hang around here. I have to find a new one.”
&n
bsp; “Let’s be honest, Em, nobody is hiring anyone on July Fourth weekend.”
“It’s the busiest weekend of the year. If ever there was a day to ask if anyone is hiring, it’s today.” I was trying to convince myself as much as convince Luke.
“Fine, but when you finally give up, remember I’m just a ferry ride away.”
“I’ll remember.”
“So what about tomorrow?” he suggested. “Charlie and Sam’s friends have a bunch of fireworks.”
“Isn’t that illegal?” I could practically hear my mom’s annual Fourth of July warning about losing fingers, or at the very least an eyebrow.
“Illegal but awesome.”
“We’ll see,” I said, but between yesterday’s ferry rides, catching a cab back to Josie’s, and the jacked-up price of a lemonade, I’d already burned through half of what little babysitting money I had left. The last thing I needed to do was compound last night’s bad decision with another one, no matter how tempting Luke’s invitation.
Instead, I said good-bye, hopped on my bike, and decided to ride until I reached a beach, which wasn’t a guarantee since I didn’t know my way around. I just headed in what seemed like the direction of the water and figured I’d find a stretch of sand when I got there.
After twenty minutes of pedaling, I was grateful to spot a glimpse of water at the end of the road. Unfortunately, there was no sandy beach to dig my sweaty feet into. Instead, I found a small, gray-shingled building sitting at the edge of the water, where rows of docks splayed out into a harbor like fingers. A wooden sign with gold lettering hung over the building’s open door—Edgewater Marina. The place was practically deserted, the docks occupied by just a few boats bobbing up and down as the water rolled in and out from Vineyard Sound. It was a Saturday, July third, and it had to be ninety degrees out already. Anyone who owned a boat was probably gone for the day, and as I wiped the beads of sweat from my upper lip with an unattractive swipe of my T-shirt sleeve, I wished I was out there with them instead of about to combust in a puff of dehydration.