I appear deceitful. And I guess I am. I never considered that because I didn’t count on being caught. “I’m sorry.”
He comes to me and wraps his arms around me tightly. “I decided it was a bad idea to leave you alone so I sent one of my men back to stay with you. I lost it when he called to say you weren’t here. I thought The Order had taken you.”
I cradle his face in my hands. “I’m fine.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “I’ve never been so fucking scared in all my life. Ever.”
“I’m really sorry.”
He pulls away and is looking at me like he might want to give me a good shake. “You’re part of The Fellowship now. You can’t do shit like this. I don’t even want to think about what The Order might do if they got their hands on you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I’m tired of hearing you say that.”
“I keep saying it because it’s true.” And because he ignores it.
“You’re my wife. I want to be the one to take care of you.”
Why can’t he see that he does? “You do. Every single day.”
He sighs. “Tell me about this lead that was so important.”
I reiterate the details of the night I followed Abram and tonight’s events.
“Good God, Bonny. I can’t believe you involved my mum.”
“I turned to the only person I could.”
He looks hurt. “That’s not true.”
“It is. You don’t want to hear what I have to say when it comes to Abram.”
“I’m asking you to please not do anything like this behind my back again. If you have something you want to investigate, come to me. We’ll do it together. That’s how I want to do everything in our lives. Always.”
I have Debra’s services. I think I’d be wise to utilize her for such things as dealing with Cameron Ewart.
He kisses me hard. “Be in that bed naked and waiting for me when I come back.”
I love when he tells me that.
He grabs my ass and squeezes hard. “Be prepared, Mrs. Breckenridge. You have penance to pay.”
Chapter Sixteen
Sinclair Breckenridge
We saw Dr. Paschall a week ago. He assures us we’ve made the right decision in moving forward with the IVF. I hope so. This is too big to screw up.
It’s day one of Bleu’s fertility injections. She stands in front of the bathroom mirror with the bottom of her T-shirt rolled up and tucked in the top of her bra. She’s holding a syringe in one hand while the other pinches up a patch of skin on her stomach. “You’re going to have to do this for me.”
Oh hell no, I’m not. “You’re the one they taught. I don’t know how to give a shot.”
“I can’t stand the thought of driving this needle into my own skin.”
“I’ll call Jamie.”
“I’m taking these three times a day. Jamie can’t come here every time my injection is due. You’re gonna need to man up and do this for me just as I did for you.”
I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about. “Just as you did what for me?”
“I gave you your morphine injection.”
“When was that?”
“After the endurance.”
I had no idea. “Well, you owed me that much after I was nearly beaten to death for you.”
Oh God. She has the attitude face. It came on as quickly as watching a background change mid performance of a play. “And you owe me this if you want me to have babies for you.”
And she has the drama to accompany it. “Don’t act like having babies is only for me. You want the cute little buggers too.”
She softens. “I know.”
She’s done this before. She should be used to it. “Who gave you the injections when you did your other retrieval?”
“My sister—who is a registered nurse. Ellison popped it in there like it was nothing and went about her way. No big deal.”
“Well, it’s a big deal to me.”
“It’s really not. I thought it would bother me giving you the morphine but I realized it was nothing after it was over.”
“Then do it if there’s nothing to it.”
She groans loudly. “It’s different giving it to yourself.”
“Fine.” I go to her and hold out my hand. “Give me the damn thing.”
I pinch her skin and gather my courage before inserting the needle into her abdomen. “I can’t believe you have to do this three times a day for two weeks.”
“Well, believe it, you big ol’ baby. Fourteen days times three. That’s forty-two injections, not counting the Lupron and HCG. So get prepared, Dr. B. You’re going to be a pro before this is over.”
She’s taking way too much pleasure in this. “I don’t want to be a pro. There’s a reason Jamie’s the doctor and I’m the lawyer. Speaking of which, what are you planning to do about this when I’m working?”
“I can run by the office when it’s due.”
I won’t always be available. “What about when I’m in court?”
“I’m sure Isobel wouldn’t mind helping me.”
“Have you told her?”
“No, but I will if I need to. Have you told anyone?”
“My father brought up the heir topic. I told him we were trying, minus the method in which we would make it happen. There’s no need for them to know that part unless they have to.”
I’m not telling her he asked if she was aware of her other job—producing an heir. That would only piss her off.
I wrap my arms around her from behind. “I need to go so I’m not late for work.”
She twists in my arms for a goodbye kiss. “See you at one for my next injection.”
“Today only. We’ll need to work something else out for the others.”
Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? I’ll give her every single one of those injections if that’s what she wants from me. I owe her that much.
* * *
The next two weeks are chaotic. Needles. Medications. More needles. Hormones. Volatile mood swings. If I didn’t know the side effects of the hormones ahead of time, I’d think Bleu hated me.
Dr. Paschall warned us that the severity of Bleu’s syndrome might make her a more likely candidate for discomfort. She doesn’t mention it but I suspect she’s in pain. She’s turned me down for sex more nights than not. That’s not like my sexual butterfly at all.
Bleu flies to London and back every few days for blood work and ultrasounds to monitor her progression. I haven’t been able to go with her so she’s had to experience the majority of this process without me. That’s not what I wanted.
She’s done this before. I suppose that has made this time a little better but I’m disappointed I wasn’t able to be with her every step of the way. It’s another example of how she takes care of herself when I, her husband, should.
But I’m here with her now. We’re at the clinic for retrieval day so we’re together. No negotiations.
Bleu has been sedated for the procedure. I’m rather enjoying our conversation about purple lollipops floating in the air when they come to take her back for the retrieval.
They have me wait in a holding area. It feels like she’s been gone a long time but it’s only thirty minutes when I check the clock.
“Mr. Breckenridge. We’re ready for your contribution.” Contribution. That’s what they’re calling it these days.
They’re asking for my sperm. I’m guessing that’s a good sign. It must mean they were able to retrieve viable eggs.
I follow the clinic employee down the hall. I’m left in a small room with one assignment—jack off into a cup. Shouldn’t be too hard considering the dry spell I’ve had with Bleu.
I double—and then triple—check the label on the cup for accuracy before I do the deed. We can’t afford a mix-up with this.
I wait at the collection window for someone from the lab. No way I’m throwing this in the window and leaving. I need to see it properly
follow the chain of custody.
A woman appears and I hold up the bag. “My contribution.” It’s the term they used so I’m going with that. I doubt they’d appreciate me calling it what I usually do.
I’m taken to where Bleu is recovering. She’s still sleeping so I sit at her bedside. I bring her hand up for a kiss. “I love you, Bonny Bleu.”
She shifts slightly when the automatic blood pressure cuff squeezes. She lazily opens her eyes and looks at me.
“Hi, beautiful.”
She grins. “Hi.”
I get up and sit on the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”
“A little crampy but otherwise okay.” Her speech is slow.
They must’ve given Bleu some good drugs. She’s barely stirred. “You’ve been sleeping like the dead.”
“I’m very tired.”
“I see that. I booked a hotel so you can rest until our flight this evening.”
“Always so thoughtful. You take such good care of me.”
Her eyes appear heavy. I think she’s on the verge of dozing off again so I stroke my hand over her cheek. “Dr. Paschall came by. He said he was able to get ten eggs.”
Her eyes pop open. “Ten? That’s a really good number for me.”
“Aye. Dr. Paschall was very pleased.”
“You gave them your sperm?”
“Aye. It felt like every woman in the place was looking at me when I turned in my cup.”
She laughs. “I’m sure they were looking at you and thinking how much they would’ve enjoyed helping you produce what was in the cup.”
Bleu’s nurse comes into the small recovery area. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Breckenridge?”
“Fine. Tired. A little crampy.”
“All normal things.” She removes the blood pressure cuff from Bleu’s arm. “I have your discharge teaching instructions.”
Bleu’s eyes are closed again so the nurse looks to me. “Dr. Paschall wants to see her back on Friday morning for the embryo transfer.”
Wow. This is happening. “We’ll be here.”
* * *
It’s Thursday, my last day of work for the week. I’ll be in London with Bleu tomorrow for our embryo transfer. I can’t believe it. Dr. Paschall is going to insert two fertilized eggs into Bleu’s womb tomorrow. She could officially become pregnant in less than a day.
I’m finished and shutting down my computer when Abram bursts into my office. No knock. “That motherfuckin’ Order just raided our transport truck—the one carrying our supply for the Irish.”
Oh hell. “How much did they get?”
“Everything! All the firearms. All the ammunition. And they killed our three men making the transport.”
Un-fucking-believable. “How could they have known?”
“I don’t know but it seems there’s a songbird within our midst. Until I find out who’s singing, I trust no one.”
I run my hands through my hair. “This is a fine mess.”
“Aye. We have to get those guns back or we risk our new relationship with The Guild, our new Irish comrades.”
It’s not an alliance we can afford to lose. “Aye. I prefer to call them friend than foe.”
“We have two days to recover the firearms. I’ve organized a meeting for all the brotherhood to join at nine tonight.”
I can’t be there. Bleu and I are leaving for London. We have the procedure tomorrow. “I can’t make the meeting. I have a flight leaving at eight.”
“You don’t have a choice. You’re a Breckenridge. You will be there.”
Why’d this have to happen now, of all times? “Let me see what I can work out.”
“The only thing you’ll work out is being at our meeting tonight. Nonnegotiable.”
Abram walks out the door without further discussion.
Shite! What am I going to do? We can’t postpone the transfer. Its success depends entirely on perfect timing. Tomorrow is it.
My secretary has already gone for the day so I call out to Linsey. “I need you to change my flight. See what’s available to London early in the morning.”
Ten. That’s the best I can get. That only gives me an hour to get from Heathrow to the clinic. That’ll be a tough one but I’ll have to make it work.
“Book it.”
Now I have to tell Bleu I won’t be leaving with her tonight. I doubt that’ll go over well.
I use the ride home to prepare what I’ll say to her but I’m still clueless when I walk into our flat. “Bonny?”
“Back here.” Her voice carries from our bedroom. I should’ve known that’s where she’d be, doing last-minute packing.
I come into our bedroom. She looks up from the suitcase and grins. “I ask you again, sir. Would you like a suit? Suit? Or a suit?”
“I need to talk to you.”
Her grin fades. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t leave with you tonight.”
She sits on the bed, my platinum suit falling into a heap on her lap. “Why not?”
“We’ve been raided. The Order has stolen a huge shipment of firearms intended for our allies with the Irish. It’s a new alliance so it’s unstable and reliant upon this transfer. We aren’t in a position to blow it because we have to go through The Guild to get to The Irish Federation. They’re our ultimate objective.”
She’s shaking her head. “I can’t do this by myself, Sin.”
“You won’t be alone. I’m on a flight to London in the morning.”
“But what if you don’t make it? Any number of reasons out of your control could prevent you from being there.”
I can’t send her alone. “I’ll ask my mum to go with you as a backup, just in case something happens.”
“That means we have to tell her what we’re doing.”
“I’m okay with that if you are.”
She’s fighting the tears. I see it in the way she’s blinking and looking up to the ceiling. “But I want you to be with me. It’s not right for me to get pregnant without you.”
I can’t not laugh. “Well, I prefer you didn’t get pregnant without me, either.”
“It’s not funny, Sin. You’re my husband. It’s your job to be with me every step of the way. And you haven’t been.”
She’s right. It isn’t comical at all. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made a joke about something so important. But I’m going to be there with you. I swear I’ll make it happen.”
Sterling and I drop Bleu and my mum at the airport. Saying goodbye is brutal. She’s completely wrecked. I can’t stand seeing my lass like this.
I’ve allowed The Fellowship to come ahead of Bleu—and our potential children. My choice is hurting my wife. I said I would never do that, yet I am. I’m such a bastard. I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself so much. But I have every intention of making my absence up to her.
I arrive at Duncan’s forty minutes before the meeting. I decide to take advantage of the free time to have a drink and private conversation with Leith. We have things to discuss.
Lorna is working tonight so she’s our server. I don’t have to tell her what I want or when to bring another. She’s good at what she does.
“You took a particularly strong interest in being the one to go after the man who tried to take Lorna.”
“They came into my place and shot it up when I wouldn’t let him take my best barmaids. You’d have an deep interest too,” Leith says.
“You sure there isn’t something more to your insistence on going after him yourself?”
He gives me a confused look. “What are you getting at, Sin?”
I’m going to throw my wife’s hunch out there and see what kind of reaction I get. “Bleu thinks you have feelings for Lorna.”
He laughs. “That’s ridiculous. I used to enjoy fucking Lorna, just like you did.”
Jamie fucked Lorna too but he never mentions him. It’s always my indiscretion with her that he points out.
“I told Bleu you weren’t interested in L
orna.”
“Good. I don’t need your wife putting ideas in Lorna’s head when they have no basis.”
I’m not sure I believe him. “Lorna’s been on her own since her parents were killed. She needs a husband’s protection. I think the incident the other night was proof.”
“I protected her.”
“You did a fine job, but it’s time she was home with a husband instead of here serving drinks half the night.”
“Being married wouldn’t have prevented what The Order did.”
“No, but Lorna’s a good friend. I want to look out for her.”
“I look out for her.”
I think Bleu is right. All the signs are there. My suggestion for Lorna to take a husband is pissing him off.
“Bleu wants the best for her friend. She has asked me to help arrange an advantageous marriage on Lorna’s behalf since her parents are no longer living.”
“Lorna’s an adult. Do you really think she needs you to choose a husband for her?”
“Of course, she’ll have the final say about who he is but I don’t think she’ll object to assistance in securing a good match.”
“You’ve been up Bleu’s arse for months. How would you know anything about Lorna or what would make her happy?”
“We spoke at Bleu’s initiation. She was very forthcoming about her discontent,” I say.
“She’s probably disappointed you no longer fuck her in the back room.”
He’s being pure arse now. “That was a long time ago.”
“That’s news to me. I thought you shagged her anytime you felt like it.”
“Not in years.” I see he’s surprised to be wrong.
“What about Jamie?”
“He stopped long before I did.” Jamie never had much interest in Lorna.
Leith doesn’t reply.
“She’s a nice lass. She deserves to be happy.”
“And you think finding her a husband will achieve that?”
“I don’t know, but Bleu seems to think so. I’m a little inclined to think she could be right. They became good friends while working together so she has inside knowledge.”
I think he’s tossing the idea around. Time to throw the hook out for a reaction. “Bleu thought you’d make a good candidate. I had hoped to work on that with you tonight but I can see we were wrong.”