“I swear on my honor that I will be the one to carry out penance against Amanda Lawrence’s killer. Bleu won’t have a part in it.”
“You should expect that to be a fight. She’ll want to be the one to do it.”
“I expect nothing less than a battle out of her, but you have my word.”
“I believe you. But I need to talk to my daughter before I give you my blessing. And judging by the number of times your phone has buzzed, she should be arriving any minute.”
He’s right. It’s been a near constant vibration against my chest since the moment Ellison walked out the door. That means she called Bleu immediately.
I’m imagining her in the car freaking out on the drive here.
I hope she doesn’t have one of her fits. She thinks she lied her way out of it but that was no dream I witnessed in Edinburgh. I know a PTSD attack when I see one. They aren’t pretty. And that’s something we’ll need to get out in the open soon.
“Maybe you should call her to say all is well so she isn’t distracted on the drive here.” He’s her father so naturally he’s concerned for her safety.
“She won’t be behind the wheel. My men will drive her. She’s never out of our sight.”
The door bursts open a few minutes later. Bleu is breathless and pale. She looks back and forth between her father and me. “Someone tell me what’s happening here.”
Harold lifts his hand and motions for Bleu to sit on his bed. “Come here, girlie girl.”
Bleu shoots daggers in my direction as she crosses the floor. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t just drop dead, I’d be six feet under.
“Mr. Breckenridge. I need a moment alone with my daughter, please.”
“Of course.”
I open the door and come face to face with Ellison doing her best to eavesdrop—apparently unsuccessful since she didn’t hear her father’s request for me to step out. “Hello again.”
“Hello.”
I lean against the wall. “I’m Sinclair Breckenridge.”
“I gathered as much.” She offers her hand. “I suppose it’s safe to assume you know who I am.”
“Aye, I do.”
She leans against the opposite wall, arms crossed. She’s staring me down. “You have my sister flipping the fuck out.”
“I gathered as much.”
“What the hell have you done?” She’s wearing a huge grin. “I’ve never seen my sister so out of control. She’s acting like a lunatic.”
I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t. “Long story. Probably best for you to ask her.”
“Maybe so, but I’m asking you instead. Bleu isn’t exactly forthcoming. Especially when it comes to her emotions.”
“I’m fairly certain her feelings are ones of anger right now, based on the look she was giving me as I left the room.”
“Good. Bleu needs someone to piss her off. At least it’s a reaction.”
I think she may be suggesting Bleu is unfeeling but I don’t see her in that light at all.
“You came all the way from Scotland to see her?”
“Aye.”
“Is that because you love her?”
“I do. Very much.” I’m not in a place where I want to discuss my relationship with Ellison. That’s for Bleu to explain so I decide it’s best to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Bonny tells me you’re a nurse?”
“Bonny?”
I laugh. “It means beautiful.”
“Shit! I may swoon.” She shakes her head and laughs. “Sorry. Yes, I am a nurse.”
“Your medical knowledge must be an asset with your father being ill.”
“I’m not so sure. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know what was happening.” Her face looks pained. “I envy Bleu’s inability to see the reality.”
“How much longer do you think he has?”
“Not long. Maybe a week. Tops.”
Bonny is going to be a mess. But she’ll have me to help her through her loss. “Will you tell her?”
“No. I can’t bring myself to do it.” Ellison shakes her head. “Those two are thick as thieves. You should probably know that she isn’t going to do well when he goes.”
Ellison and I discuss Harold MacAllister’s health until Bleu opens the door. Her eyes are swollen. Her face, red and blotchy. “He wants to see us together.”
“Good luck, dude,” Ellison says.
I follow Bleu into Harold’s room, shutting the door behind me. I want to reach for my Bonny Bleu’s hand but I’m afraid it isn’t wise. She’s angry with me. I see it all over her face.
I will have a lot of explaining to do when we leave.
“My daughter is very unhappy with you right now, Mr. Breckenridge.”
“I never dreamed she wouldn’t be.” I look at her. “But it’s my greatest hope she’ll understand the reason behind my action. And maybe eventually agree it was the only honorable and right thing to do.”
“I don’t know if you’ll get that out of her.” Harold MacAllister laughs. “Regardless of her anger and despite the hit your uncle has issued, she tells me she’s in love with you and wants to be your wife.”
I’m very pleased to know Bonny has declared her feelings for me to her father. Another step in the right direction.
“Bleu insisted on infiltrating The Fellowship and it didn’t go as planned. That’s a good thing considering she was going after the wrong man. I’m not happy about Bleu becoming part of The Fellowship. But it is what it is—the next sin, you could say. Your offer of marriage is a solution. According to her, she couldn’t love you more so falling in love was a happy coincidence. I can die in peace knowing my little girl will be in your care. I’m giving you my approval.”
Perfect. I have Harold MacAllister’s blessing. All I need now is his daughter’s forgiveness.
* * *
I’ve fucked up big time—twice—in a day and a half. Not the best way to begin our marriage.
Bleu hasn’t said a single word to me during the ride to her house. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s choosing to not speak to me or because she doesn’t wish to argue in front of Sterling. Either way, I’m certain I’ll catch hell as soon as we’re alone.
I don’t want Bonny to be angry with me. I need her to understand the reason I felt compelled to speak with her father while I still could.
Once we’re inside, Bleu stomps to her bedroom. I follow her so we can talk but she slams the door in my face.
Click—the sound of her locking the door between us. I hope she isn’t under the illusion that will stop me from coming in. She’ll need more than this flimsy rectangle to keep us apart.
I rap lightly on the hollow door. “Bonny. We need to talk.”
No answer.
I tap a little more firmly. “You know I’m not going anywhere so you might as well let me in.”
Still nothing so I jiggle the handle. “We are going to discuss this. I’d prefer we didn’t do it after I break down the door.”
The lock pops. I turn the knob and let myself in. She’s standing in the middle of her bedroom, hands on hips. “You’re a complete jackass. I’m so damn mad at you right now!” She picks up a picture frame from her bedside table and throws it at me. I narrowly dodge being hit in the head. “You’re such a selfish bastard.”
Oh hell. She’s really mad.
We’ve never gone head to head but I’m fully aware that Bleu is no delicate flower. She could probably kick my ass under the right circumstances. Judging by her reaction, it’s probably a good idea for me to be prepared for such.
“You already knew I was a selfish bastard. This isn’t news for you.”
“Dammit! You had no right to go to my father without my consent!” she yells.
“We both know you would’ve never agreed to me seeing him.” This was one of those instances where it was easier to obtain forgiveness than permission. Although right now, I’m questioning the whole forgiveness thing.
“That’s right
. And for good reason.”
“Aye. You’re right to call me a selfish bastard because I am. I went to your father because I didn’t care for the way it made me feel to know I was taking you as my wife behind his back. But I also did it for the two of you.”
“How can you claim this was about anything but you? I plainly told you I didn’t want him to know, but you just had to go and be the tyrant you always are and do things your way.”
She’s so angry, she’s refusing to acknowledge the outcome my visit accomplished. “Your father approved of our marriage, Bonny. Isn’t that what you wanted? Aren’t you happy about that?”
“It’s what you wanted. Not me. I never wanted him to find out.”
Oh, she’s going to be a hard-ass on this one. “Aye. I wanted his blessing but don’t you have contentment in him knowing about us and approving of our union before he’s gone?”
“I don’t know. I can’t feel any kind of satisfaction or happiness because I’m so pissed at you.”
Did I go too far? “Are you considering backing out?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I’m not going to lose her over this. “Think about it. Your father will die knowing I’m taking you and Ellison into my care. He knows you’ll have someone protecting you after he’s gone. It’s a terrible burden lifted from his mind. He can be at peace where you and Ellison are concerned. Can you please try to see the good in what I’ve done?”
I take a step toward her but she puts her hand up. It’s my cue to not come closer. “It’s hard for me to see the good for all the selfishness involved.”
My motives weren’t only self-driven. “Your father’s blessing is a gift I wanted you to have. His approval means he and your sister can be part of our wedding ceremony. You get to have your family present when we make our vows.”
She’s barely made mention of her family not being present at our wedding, but I know how much she longs for them to be a part of it.
“Dad’s too sick to leave, even for my wedding.”
“Then we’ll be married in his hospital room. I’m sure we can find an officiant to perform the ceremony at the hospice center.” When I see a change in her expression, I move toward her. She doesn’t stop me this time. “That is if it pleases my wife-to-be.”
There it is. That smile I’m desperate to see. “Yes. It pleases your wife-to-be very much.”
What a relief. “I’m very glad.”
“I love you so I’m going to give you a forewarning. Don’t go behind my back like that ever again. I can promise you with one hundred percent accuracy that it will cause major problems in our marriage if you do.”
“Got it.” I can’t make a promise to never do it again so I voice my understanding instead of an agreement. I’m certain there will be occasions when I won’t tell Bleu the whole truth, and it will always be with good reason. I will never purposely hurt her. “Know this, Bleu. I will always do what I must for your happiness and well-being. That’s something you can always trust without fail.”
Chapter Seven
Bleu MacAllister
I didn’t like how Sin went behind my back—and although I’ll never admit it to him—he was right about going to my father. Which means I was wrong. I couldn’t see it last night because I was blinded by rage. Everything looked different to me in the light of day, even more so when I walked into the living room this morning and saw Sin crunched up on the sofa.
I looked at him drooling on the pillow beneath his head and it all came full circle for me. I realized that although he pisses me off beyond all recognition at times, this is the man I want to wake next to for the rest of my life—drool and all.
Now I’m standing here facing Sin in my family’s presence and I couldn’t be happier. This wouldn’t be happening with my dad’s and Ellison’s presence if Sin hadn’t gone against my wishes. I love him all the more for that.
No gown with a train. No veil. No organ music or church full of flowers surrounded by friends and family. I didn’t think it was possible for this to feel like a wedding but I was wrong. I’m marrying the man I love with my father and sister present. I have everything I need.
Today’s suit choice is platinum with a cream and lavender pinstriped shirt. Sin’s tie is a paisley print—silver, lavender, and peach. I can’t fathom how in the world he found one in those colors on such short notice.
His boutonnière on his lapel is a tiny miniature of my bridal bouquet, the spray of flowers the only thing distinguishing him from looking the way he does any other time. And that’s fine by me. He’s handsome every single day.
“Who gives this woman?” the officiant asks.
“Her sister and I,” my father answers from his hospital bed. I giggle inside because Ellison insisted my dad include her in the giving of the bride. I’d probably do the same if it were her marrying.
Vow writing has been the last thing on my mind so Sin and I will be using the ones provided by the chaplain—whatever they are. “Repeat after me.”
Sin squeezes my hands as he says, “I, Liam Sinclair Breckenridge, take you, Stella Bleu MacAllister, to be my lover and mother of my children.” He stops at the mention of children. He sees me fighting tears and leans over to kiss the side of my face. He whispers in my ear, “No worries, Bonny. I’m going to do everything within my power to give you babies.”
He straightens and clears his voice to continue his vows. “I love what I know of you and trust what I’ve yet to learn. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.”
I believe what Sin has just said to me. Every. Word.
I repeat the same vows and nearly lose it again when I get to the part about children. He squeezes and rubs his thumbs over the tops of my hands to reassure me.
No worries. That’s what he said.
I finish my vows, truly meaning each and every word. We exchange rings and I’m nearly floored when I see my wedding band for the first time. I can’t believe I didn’t ask to see it before. In combination with my engagement ring, it’s huge—ridiculously so. And I love it. No one will ever mistake me for an unmarried woman. He’s made sure of it.
“You may kiss your bride.” We lean in and softly brush our lips. No tongue. That would just be weird in front of my dad and sister. I’ve never had a boyfriend so they’ve never witnessed me so much as hold hands with a man.
“And so it’s done. You’re my wife, Mrs. Breckenridge. No backing out now.”
I’m in too deep for that but I wouldn’t dare try, even if it were a possibility.
Elli is all smiles as she claps. That’s because my sister doesn’t know who Sin is. She has no idea what kind of man I’ve just married.
She comes to me. “Congratulations. I knew you wouldn’t have a wedding cake so I brought white-on-white cupcakes.”
She goes to the closet and takes out a Gigi’s cupcake box and a large green bottle. “But more importantly, I brought champagne!”
“Thank you, Elli. Everything happened so fast, I didn’t consider anything like that.”
She pops the top and pours for everyone. Even Dad. “A sip won’t hurt.”
“A sip, hell. I’m having as much as I want, little lady. It’s not every day my girlie girl gets married.”
Ellison is snapping pictures one after another—she’s my photographer today. “Drink from each other’s glasses.”
We do as instructed and she gives us a plastic knife from the cafeteria. “Time to cut the cake.”
“It’s a cupcake. I don’t think it needs cutting.”
“Humor me.”
I place the knife on top of the mile-high frosting. Sin wraps his hand around mine and together we glide it downward.
I giggle. What we’re doing feels silly—but fun—so I can’t resist swiping my finger through the frosting and smearing it across Sin’s face. “I see
how you want to play.”
“Ahh!” I step away and look at Harry. “Daddy. Help.”
“Don't look at me,” he laughs. It’s the first real smile I’ve seen out of him in weeks.
Sin prowls toward me until my back is against the wall. “Come here, sweet wife.”
I’m doomed. I have nowhere to go so I grin and prepare for what comes next.
Sin doesn’t disappoint. He kisses me, smearing white icing all over the lower portion of my face.
I grab a napkin and go into the bathroom to survey the damage. “You messed up my makeup,” I call out.
He comes into the bathroom and stands behind me, looking at my reflection. “You didn’t need it anyway. You’re beautiful without it.”
“Dad is spent. Today’s events were a lot for him. I think we should go so he can rest.”
“Whatever you want is fine by me.”
As we clean our mess, Ellison holds up the box of leftover cupcakes. “Take these with you. You might have some fun with them later.”
“Fun with cupcakes?” I’m not sure I want her to elaborate on that.
She laughs and shrugs. “Get a little bit creative and you can have fun with anything.”
“Sure.” Why not?
I look at Dad to make sure he isn’t paying attention to us. “He isn’t doing well,” I whisper.
“He tires easily.” I remember the nature of this beast. It takes and takes without giving anything in return.
“He won’t last much longer, will he?” I say the words, immediately wishing I hadn’t. “Never mind. I don’t want to know the answer to that.”
Elli stops and grasps my arm. “You shouldn’t take a long honeymoon if you want to be here when he goes.”
“Then the end is closer than I thought.”
“Dad hides a lot from us. I go along with it, pretending I don’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t fool me.”
Sin and I haven’t discussed a honeymoon, but there’s no way I can go anywhere with my dad in this condition. “I’m going to be here for him. We’re not going anywhere.”