Viktor finally speaks as his hand that is still on my waist tightens just a bit. This is also one of those times when I love that he’s so freaking tall.
“May I ask what brings you here?” I swear, this guy is so fucking polite, sometimes I can’t stand it. But I love it at the same time.
“Well, Diana wanted to come and visit and tell you something, didn’t you, my love?” Helena looks at Di and beams. This shit just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
“Come on,” Helena says, nudging Di with her shoulder.
Di looks like she’s swallowed splintered glass as she looks at Viktor.
“I have released you and your remaining brother from all your binds. You are free.” Her voice is flat, but I feel a sense of . . . something wash through Viktor and into me. Something like calm and relief mixed into one, but it’s tempered by a hint of mistrust. I know how he feels, because I feel the same way. Like this woman, who had been torturing people for centuries, is just going to give it all up? People don’t change like that. Or maybe it was a noctalis thing. What the hell do I know?
“And?” Helena is definitely the “up” one in this relationship. “Tell them!” She’s practically jumping up and down. She’d make a great cheerleader.
“I am going away . . . for a while. I will not bother you.” More flat voice. Seriously? I want to slap her silly, but that would be a very bad idea.
Helena brings Di’s hand to her mouth and kisses it, pulling her close.
“I love you,” she says, smiling at Di like she’s just promised her the keys to the universe instead of giving a begrudging sort-of apology.
The blank look on Di’s face drops and she turns to stare at Helena, and the air in the room shifts and tingles with something deep and dark and powerful. It races across my skin and I draw closer to Viktor; I know he feels it too.
Slowly, Di brings her hand to Helena’s face and pulls it close to hers as they press their foreheads together. Di’s other hand wraps in Helena’s hair as both their eyes close. Damn. I nearly look away because it’s such an intimate moment, but I can’t. The wind races through the window, blowing their hair around and twisting it together. I’m the only one who needs to breathe in the room, and I definitely am holding my breath.
“I missed you,” Di says in a voice that is so quiet I wouldn’t have heard it with my old hearing. Her voice almost breaks, almost. “I missed you,” she says again.
“I missed you,” Helena says, holding Di’s face and bringing their lips together for a light kiss. “None of it matters. Not now. We’re together.”
“But . . . I’ve done so many—“ Di tries to say, but Helena silences her with another kiss. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Di vulnerable. It’s a bit of a mind fuck.
“It’s over, my love. Over and done. We can’t be chained by our past. We can only move forward.” That sounds like something Ava’s mother would say. Thinking about Claire makes a lump form in my throat.
Ava. Oh my God, I had to call Ava. She’s going to be ecstatic. Now she and Peter were free. So to speak.
“So,” Helena says, breaking the kiss with Di. “If you wouldn’t mind calling Ava so we can get this put to bed once and for all, that would be fantabulous. We’ll just be outside.” As quick as they entered, the two of them are gone again.
“What. The. Fuck,” I say as Viktor gets up and shuts the window.
Viktor
After Di and Helena leave Tex’s room, she calls Ava and Peter and then paces, talking in incomplete sentences.
“She just thinks she can . . . The audacity . . . I just . . . Fuck . . .” She throws her hands in the air. Her thoughts and emotions are just as scattered. Sometimes it is as if she hurls them at me, like stones. Or bullets. That is a more accurate description.
I watch from her bed as she goes back and forth, her hair flying everywhere. It has been such a short time that I’ve known her, yet I feel as if I know so much about her. This fiery girl who does everything to the fullest. Love, hate, desire, anger. Tex is life incarnate, and her blood is just the same.
“Dude, why aren’t you helping me calm down? You should be doing that calm thing where you say stuff that makes me stop freaking out.” She flails her hands at me, and it makes me want to laugh, but that would be less than helpful now and only earn me a glare.
“What do you want me to say?” I am teasing her. Sometimes I enjoy her little bursts of frustration. It is a different feeling than hunting, but it is also enjoyable.
“I don’t know! Something . . . Russian!”
I say a few words to her in Russian and she stops moving to listen, and then comes to sit on the edge of her bed by my feet.
“What does that mean?”
“The meat is not fresh, I shall have to kill the butcher,” I say, and she tries to glare at me, but starts laughing and slaps my feet, wincing as her human hand comes in contact with my adamantine noctalis skin. One of these days she is going to break her wrist, and somehow that will be my fault.
“Son of a bitch!” she says, shaking her wrist back and forth.
“You never learn,” I say, taking her hand and kissing her wrist before licking it. I love the taste of her skin. She doesn’t flinch away from my tongue as I move it up her arm and her eyes close. If we aren’t careful, we’re going to end up naked in her bed.
Again.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times we’ve gotten carried away. She is just as insatiable as I am, and doesn’t mind if I leave bruises, or bite her in the heat of the moment, which I often do. For someone so young, she knows what she wants, at least when it comes to the bedroom.
I put my tongue back in my mouth and pull my face back.
Another time.
“You’re trying to distract me, and it’s working,” she says, crawling onto the bed beside me. “But Ava and Peter should be here any minute and we’ll have to deal with . . . all that.” She motions in the air with her hands.
“But on the brighter side of dark, you’re freeeeee,” she says, drawing out the last word with a smile on her face. Her glasses are somewhat askew, so I straighten them on her face. They suit her.
“So, Viktor Belikov, your horrible mother has finally released you from both of your binds. How do you feel?” She turns her hand into a fake microphone and holds it out in front of me.
“I’m going to Disneyworld,” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. I can play many parts, if I wish to. It is a lot easier to get away with something when you are wearing a friendly smile.
“You dork,” she says, kissing me quickly.
Two
Ava
“What if it’s a trap? I mean, another trap?” I say to Peter as we fly to Tex’s house. This has got to be a trap. Somehow, some way, one of these idiots is going to have to make another bind. I just know it.
“Calm down, my Ava.”
Oh, he can be calm. Or lie to me about being calm.
He’s not lying as much as I am, but he totally is. He’s supposed to be doing that thing when he calms me down, but he can’t because he isn’t calm. Well, that’s comforting.
The trip is quick, and before I know it, we’re landing on the roof of Tex’s house. You’d think her parents would notice all the freaking people (well, noctali) that are coming and going from her room, but they are so oblivious that even if we all trooped in through the front door, I doubt they would notice. Her brother, Coby, on the other hand . . .
Tex and Viktor aren’t making out, but they look like they’re on the verge as Peter hoists me through her window.
“Where are they?” I say when I don’t immediately see Di and Helena. This smells like a trap. I knew it!
In my mind, I feel Peter tense up. Great, just great.
“You didn’t see them outside? They were right there,” Tex says, trying to fix her make-out hair.
Then someone taps my shoulder from behind and a bright voice says, “Here we are!”
Peter and I turn sl
owly and face Helena.
“Di is outside. She can’t come in, because of that whole noctalis restraining order you’ve got on her,” she says, as cheerful as if she was commenting on my mother’s flower garden. “Not that I can say that I blame you.”
Right. That.
“Yeah, well, it was necessary,” I say warily, clutching onto Peter. Viktor and Tex come to stand behind us.
“Why don’t we all go outside and have a chat?” Helena says, motioning to the open window.
“Yeah, sure,” I say slowly. I wish Peter would speak up. I tug at our connection and he tugs back. Not a warning tug, just an “I’m here” tug. Okay, then. I’m putting a lot of trust in him, but it hasn’t failed me yet.
Peter and I hop out the window and Viktor gathers up Tex and drops to the ground. Our landing is a little better, because Peter can use his wings, but I hear Tex shriek with glee anyway. She likes that sort of thing.
Helena holds Di’s hand and brings her forward, to the edge of the “barrier” Peter and I had made her promise. Wow, that seems like lifetimes ago. She’s not supposed to speak, or look at me, or harm me, so she keeps her eyes on the ground.
“Sooo,” I say, to break the silence that is threatening to bury all of us alive. Or . . . whatever.
“Di has something to say, don’t you, love?” Helena speaks to Di as if she’s a kid who has stolen a pack of gum and has been forced to go to the store to apologize and pay for it. It would be funny if I wasn’t so freaking scared.
I’m still operating on the “this is a trap” theory. It’s a pretty good rule of thumb, because then you’re not surprised when something is a trap.
“I’m sorry,” she says, and I wait for something else, but it doesn’t come. Oh that is it.
“That’s it? You’re sorry? Oh, that makes it all better,” I say, the sarcasm dripping from my voice. Peter pulls at our connection to tell me to shut my face, but I can’t. This is just . . .
“I can’t believe this. After all these years, and all the pain and all the shit you’ve put them through, that’s all they get.” I glare at her, hoping she can feel it, even though she can’t look at me.
All the other times I’d seen Di, she had seemed like this red-headed force of nature, but now, clutching Helena’s hand, she looks timid. Scared. Young.
It’s a trap. It’s gotta be a trap.
“I’m sorry,” she says, so softly that her words are almost taken away by the wind.
I go to open my mouth, but Peter stops me.
“Ava.” It’s just my name, but it makes me clamp my mouth shut and wait.
Tex and Viktor don’t say anything, but she looks just as scared as I feel. See? She doesn’t trust this either.
“I was angry. For so many years, and for so many reasons. I only wanted to make everyone else hurt as much as I hurt. I made love into a weapon, so I could control it, instead of it controlling me. I . . .”
I’ve never seen a noctalis struggle for words so hard, ever. They always seemed to have the right ones waiting in their mouths. If this is a trap (and I am still convinced it is), then she’s doing a damn good acting job. But who am I kidding? She’s had hundreds of years to practice this.
“I am sorry. So sorry to have caused you pain. I have rescinded your binds and will not bother you anymore.” It could still be a trap. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. It can’t be this easy. A few hours of reuniting with Helena cannot undo so many years of hatred and revenge. It’s just not possible.
“You have no reason to believe me, but you’ll see it’s true. Peter? Can you feel it?” Di says, looking at him. She is telling the truth. At least for this part. Peter’s already shown that the love bind is broken.
“Yes. I can,” he says, pulling me closer and blasting me with a surge of love and hope. It’s almost too much to stand, and I have to fight the smile that wants to break out across my face. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. I don’t want to give her any more than she’s already taken.
“And Viktor. You need not avenge Ivan, he ended his own life by leaving me. That is done, and it is my fault for making the bind and for making him desperate enough to break it. I shall bear the burden of his second death.” Well, she caused the first one, too, sooo . . . Peter sends me another “shut up” message.
“I am responsible for so much pain and suffering, but it was caused by me and I alone will bear the weight of it. Go. Be happy in your eternal lives.” The end of her speech is met with silence. Oh, I have plenty to say, but I don’t think it will help the situation any.
“Oh, come on, let’s celebrate!” Helena says, smiling so bright that I could see it, even if I was blind. Even now she is so . . . perky. Upbeat.
“Or maybe not?” she says when her suggestion is met with silence.
“It’s okay, Helen. I don’t blame them. We should go.” Di turns away and starts walking.
“I’m gonna miss you all, but I know this is goodbye. We all must sacrifice for love, yes?” Helena’s accent comes out, and I get a glimpse of the immortal underneath the peppy teenage façade. She could be whoever she wanted to be.
Helena meets my eyes and blinks and I blink back. I understand that. With one last smile and wave from Helena, she turns and disappears. For good.
“I can’t . . . even . . .” Tex says, exhaling.
“Ditto,” I say, staring as they vanish into the woods that blanket the state of Maine.
“Jamie is going to be pissed that he missed this,” Tex says. “Hey, Helena!” She calls out, even though she knows Helena has excellent hearing, “Where’s Brooke?”
In the space of two heartbeats, Helena is standing twenty feet away.
“She’s with Jamie. Don’t worry, she’s not going to change him. At least, I don’t think so. Bye again!” With that, she’s gone again.
“What about Cal?” I yell and she comes back for a third time with an exasperated look on her face.
“Don’t worry about him. Okay, I’m really going now, unless there are any more questions, queries or comments?” She scans all of us, but no one says anything.
“Okay, going now. Going . . . Going . . . Gone.” And she is.
I stare at Viktor and Peter and Tex and shake my head. That’s all anyone can do.
Peter
After Helena and Di leave, I take Ava back up to Texas’ room and we sit with her and Viktor and talk.
“I still think it’s a trap,” Ava says. “It has to be a trap. What would cause her to give it all up, after so many years?”
“Love,” Viktor says.
“It is the most powerful thing in the world,” I echo, quoting one of Ava’s television shows. I can’t remember which one. “Look what it has already done for us.”
“Okay, that would sound super cheesy coming from anyone else, but he has a point, Ave,” Tex says, chiming in.
Ava looks at me and I take her face in both my hands. Holding the world between them. My world.
“Love, huh? I wouldn’t know anything about that,” she says, and I know her well enough now to catch the subtle sarcasm. She presses her lips forward for a quick kiss.
“I wouldn’t know anything about love either,” I say.
Love, love, love.
“I am glad I don’t have to kill you now. Doing it when you became a noctalis would have been awkward,” Viktor says, pulling Texas to his chest.
“Yeah, me too,” Ava says, rolling her eyes. “That would have been kind of awkward.”
“So are we all good now? We can just . . . be?” Texas says.
“I guess?” Ava says, unsure. “A part of me still thinks this is a trap, but in a week it won’t matter.” She gives me a small smile. In a week she will be immortal, and thus, un-killable.
“What’s happening in a week?” Due to the fact that we were going to speak with Texas about it tomorrow, she is unaware of our plans.
“Peter’s going to change me,” Ava says slowly, and I sense tension in her.
She is nervous about telling Texas.
“You’re . . . you’re really going to do it? But now that Di doesn’t want to kill you, you don’t need to. Right?” Texas looks confused, and Ava won’t meet her eyes.
“A promise is a promise,” Ava says quietly. I promised unless we were able to kill Di, I would change her. Di is still alive, even though she has dropped the vendetta.
“What does that mean? You’re crazy, Ava. You’re going to give up your life?” I am a bit surprised that Texas is having this reaction. She seems like the kind of human who would desire immortality. I know she and Viktor have discussed it, but have not yet come to a conclusion.
“I just can’t . . . I just can’t deal with death.” Ava’s voice is choked with tears and I try to suck as much of her still-raw pain into myself as I can. Sometimes it is too much to bear, but I take it for her, help her deal with it. Absorb as much of it as I can stand.
“But . . .” Tex starts to say, but is silenced by a look from Viktor.
“It is her choice. Everyone has their own choice, and you need to let her make hers.”
Texas looks as if she wants to protest again, but gets up and starts pacing the room instead.
“I mean, it’s crossed my mind, but you’re only seventeen, Ava. What if you change your mind? What about kids? I know that’s a long way off, but I just don’t want you to regret it. This isn’t a tattoo. You can’t laser off immortality.”
“I know. But this is what I want.”
Texas stops and turns.
“I’m scared for you, but I love you. You know that, right?” She leans down and gives Ava a hug. They are powerful things, those hugs. I didn’t know how much until Ava came into my existence.
“I love you too. This is something I need to do. I can’t really explain why. I just know.”
Texas sighs and lets go of Ava.
“Okay.”
Tex
“She’s out of her fucking mind!” I say the second I know Ava and Peter are out of earshot. “And don’t you tell me to calm down. I will NOT calm down!” I’ve gotten myself all worked up and like a tornado, the only thing to do is hold on, batten down the hatches and wait for it to be over. At least Viktor is durable.