In the Dorkop highlands there was a village known simply as Borm. The residents there claimed to have a fountain of youth. These men and women known as the Grifs remarkably never aged. When asked about this miracle they would always say Trinflask and nothing but.
This word was later found out to be a man from the Grifs who lived in the heart of Borm in a castle that was half above ground half below. He was well known as a wizard of great power, but also as a renowned scientist. The Grifs held him in such high esteem that they cleared the sidewalk when he came towards them and they’d put back groceries until he had purchased what he wanted.
He looked like a raccoon with a long face and black and white beard and long thick combed upward eyebrows. The hair on the top of his head was also black with white streaks on the sides and top. It was his eyes that tempered most as they were golden and gave you an impression that you couldn’t fool him. He was only 5’6” and weighed 130 pounds, but was greatly feared as he could cast a devastating spell with only the wave of his hand. Trinflask’s living room had a large purple liquid pumping fountain that contained a concoction known as Reh. Reh could trick the body into a reverse aging process by
tapping into the body’s inner clock and spinning it backwards. He came upon the potion when he slipped on a rubber glove and all 29 of his potions that he was working on fell into a single vat and a burst of electricity shot up into the air as the potions fought against one another. Then he took a tea cup of the Reh and gave it to his dying cat Babitalk. Within 30 minutes Babitalk began walking and then running all over the lab and purring with joy. Trinflask could see the cat get gradually younger and younger and then he decided he had to try it for himself, so he drank it. It wasn’t long before it did the same for him and he yelled out in joy,” Mistakes are for making!”
At the very end of,” The last moment I cried,” it showed Dart standing in front of a large dragon with his 1 million troops behind him in a huddled mass at the edge of the fields of Laiy. The fields of Laiy were an 800 mile long purple and red soft grass and waterspout field that ended abruptly at the Bloodlet ocean. There were dozens upon dozens of large perfectly square dark brown 50 yard wide and 8 story high huts that housed the Haborm in that time, with gun turrets in a v formation along each side and massive laser canons on the roofs.
Dart thought to himself he couldn’t go on like this anymore. He’d already fought the Haborm for 10 years and to wage another battle terrified him. He stared blankly at the side of the red dragon then a moment of clarity came over him and he turned to his troops and said warmly,” Gentlemen, not so gentlemen, I can’t ask you to raise a weapon and fight or even ask you to raise your voice in anger after what you’ve given your people or what you’ve given me. What I will ask is that you listen to this old man for one more minute or 2. Men, we braved a lot of terrible situations in this war, a lot of dire moments when the best were scared out of our head. Now you weren’t alone in this I distinctly remember the pain of fear not too long ago as I stared at my mourning razor and contemplated another shave,” then the soldiers burst out laughing and Dart smiled and raised his handle and took a step
forward and said boldly,” These Haborm would kill us in an instant if we were the fools they think we are. I say only one thing to that and it is plain…we are marching across this battlefield today to give them the best exploding cup of mourning coffee they’ve ever had,” said Dart wryly and then the troops laughed and Dart said sarcastically,” I hate to do it during that morning pedicure, but they damn sure should have done it yesterday!”
Then the soldiers cheered and shot across the Laiy fields and in between the Haborm huts. After they were in and around all of them they looked at Dart and he smiled and slapped his chest and they began firing into the huts. The barrage of laser fire lit up the dimness of the early hour and gave the sky a red glow.
“ This is the greatest hour of all our lives and we won’t soon forget the pageantry of it, well…maybe a little,” said Dart snidely as he grinned and looked out over the destruction of the Haborm huts.
Then the film ended with the simple lines in black and red letters across the screen,” If god intended us, then he intended us to never bow down, never give in or sit at a table of fools and try to blend in. No, we all know why the gifts were ours, he had a soft spot for life shakers and joke tellers. We do think one thing has it all amiss, we know he put the rest of you here to test and amuse us why else would we wake with smiles on our faces and a thought of the lot of you beneath our thumbs,” from the book by Trinflask titled,” We were strangers.”
“ That was unbelievable!” yelled Veata happily as she stood up and stretched her arms and laughed.
“ Thank you, we are glad you liked it,” said Orbay warmly as she and everyone else stood up and the lights came on.
“ I loved it that’s the type of movie I could watch again and over again,” said Ratie brightly as she looked at Rinship.
“ Well I am ecstatic about that, Ratie, but I must say there aren’t many films that can rival that one. Lots of filmmakers have tried, but as of yet all failed,” said Rinship as he hugged Orbay and then gave her a kiss.
“ I wanted to ask you, Famaron, what magic can you do with that staff? I wanted to ask all of you the same question,” asked Paguis calmly as he walked over to the lounge and grabbed a Dummi cigar and pressed a button for the robotic arm to get him a rare bottle of Canbock wine.
Canbock wine was a red wine from 300 years prior that was made from a deceased crop of blue grapes. The dying grapes had a flavor that was never seen again and was widely regarded as the best bottle of wine you’d ever taste.
Famaron’s eyebrows raised as he tried not to seem too eager and then asked coyly,” Oh I can do a bit, would you like me to show you a few spells?” asked Famaron as he looked calmly at Veata and then Rinship and Paguis.
“ I would love it, we could use a bit of entertainment around here,” said Orbay excitedly as everyone made their way to the lounge.
“ We would be truly honored, Famaron,” said Paguis as he opened the Canbock with a magnet bottle opener that sucked out the cork with a square of steel in the center of it.
“ Then you shall have it. I’ll start off with a personal favorite,” said Famaron warmly then he walked over and stood beside one of the 4 couches and then shouted,” Ep steals the wise man’s thoughts!”
Then on the table in the center of the couches appeared a red and orange trimmed 3 foot tall stone man that looked like Famaron. He had on a black scarf and a white cotton dress suit and red rubber shoes. He had a ball of glowing green and black light in both hands. Then as the stone man smiled the light turned into a dozen tiny running men who ran thru the air from one hand to the other. Then the tiny men turned into a sun and 10 revolving planets that orbited the stone man. Then the sun turned into a dragon and flew over and ate all the planets one by one until its head exploded into an arrow of red light. Then the stone man jumped off the table and ran and dove into and thru the red waterfall and disappeared.
“ Outstanding, Famaron, that was exceptional wizardry!” said Paguis boldly as everyone clapped and laughed loudly.
“ How did you do that, it seemed that spell had several layers to it?” asked Rinship eagerly as he laughed on the couch with Orbay on his right side with her arms draped around his neck.
“ On my world it’s what’s known as Shealiop spells. What happens is the casting of the spell is accompanied by a series of mental spells that ends up boosting its effectiveness,” said Famaron warmly as Paguis handed him a glass of Canbock.
“ Mental spells, that would make sense, because of all the different things you had him do,” said Rinship softly as he debated doing his own spell.
“ So you use your inner monologue to fire off different forms of the same spell. Well now I’m impressed,
ya know, Rinship, you should show our guests a spell from the Laru book,” said Orbay as she looked happily at Rinship.
“ Well I don’t know…” said Rinship as he tried to play it coy.
“ What’s a Laru book, I’ve never heard of such a thing?” asked Dornoa as he rubbed his shoulder while he sat across from Paguis.
“ You’ve never heard of the Laru books, that blows my mind. They are the most powerful spells known to man. One Laru spell can do more damage than 10 battleships. Oh, Rinship, you need to go and get it and show are guests they would love it,” said Orbay boldly then she gave Rinship a gentle shove and he smiled back at her and she said warmly,” C’mon, Handsome, it will give us all a big smile.”
Rinship looked at her for a moment and could tell what it meant to her and then looked at everyone else and stood up quickly and said happily,” Alright, you talked me into it. I’ll only be a few moments I keep it in a safe in the next room.”
Then Rinship walked straight at the waterfall on the left wall and as he drew near a section of water stopped and the wall slid open revealing a brief lighted passageway. He went into the passageway and disappeared from view and Paguis said hopefully,” Wait ‘til you see this you won’t believe your eyes.”
“ You’ll be running for your spell books and trying to steal the Laru after you see what it can do,” said Orbay gleefully as she grinned from ear to ear and fell back in her seat on the couch.
“ You might be right,” said Ohgood coyly as he gave Famaron a sly look.
Then in came Rinship and as he did he raised his staff and shouted with the Laru in his other hand,” Streap mero is flying!”
Then 2 dozen golden 3 inch tall birds came flying out of his staff and burst into red, green, and turquoise flames just before they got to the couches. The smoke they left behind began to churn and to take the shape of a man with a dragon’s torso surrounded by a pyramid of blue and gold light. Then the
beast jumped and sunk his head 1 foot down into the floor and a funeral of small Konno’s and an explosion of wind, fire, and light shot up into the air. The Konno’s flew up and thru the ceiling and dropped mini soldiers with tiny parachuted on their backs down to the floor. Then as all the people in the room were transfixed by what was happening Rinship began shooting shards of light from the tip of his staff at the mini soldiers bursting them into balls of flames.
“ This is so diabolical that it blows my mind,” said Ohgood in shock as he watched one mini soldier jump on the half dragon man and be eaten by him a second later.
Then a large red line surrounded everything from the spell and then sucked it all together to form a brown burlap sack that dropped onto the table in the center of the couches. Then Rinship walked nonchalantly over to the sack and picked it up. Then he reached inside and pulled out 10 golden wrapped chocolates and smiled and said slyly,” A magical snack is what we all require, so feel free to partake.”
Then everyone laughed and clapped and Ratie said boldly,” That was the sickest spell I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe my young female eyes, but I want to.”
“ All that with one spell is a thought that defies reason. Wow, that was worth the wait!” said Famaron loudly as he eyed the Laru book out of the corner of his eyes and smiled.
“ You don’t know the half of it, watch this!” said Rinship boldly as he let go of the Laru in mid air.
It fell at first 3 feet down, but then stopped abruptly and rose back up and began to glow. Then it opened and spun softly to the left. Everyone looked at the Laru then at each other and Famaron thoughts began to race and he couldn’t decide if he should grab it or wait. He looked at the book and then suddenly Ohgood ran and grabbed the book and shouted,” Takof the armless dozen!”
Then a trio of 9 foot red fur Baatolds appeared and they grabbed hold of Rinship, Orbay, and Paguis and wrestled them to the floor. While everyone else ran for the hangar bay by going back to the hallway they came in. They raced down the hallway and out into the hangar bay and saw there were 2 dozen Joems milling about play fighting one another and Famaron said Boldly,” Everyone grab your battleship and head for the Gorma highlands! Those Baatolds won’t hold them for long, so get some space between this place and there before you get any ideas of stopping! Oh, Ohgood, nice work,” said Famaron slyly as he shook his head and smiled from ear to ear.
“ Thanks, but it was pure skill so I’ll take full credit,” said Ohgood slyly as he grinned.
They all boarded their battleships and lifted up and out of the hangar bay as the Joems continued wrestling each other. They traveled at full speed towards the Gorma highlands while Rinship, Orbay, and Paguis fought to free themselves in the lounge.
“ Get off of me you disgusting pile of fur!” shouted Rinship as he used all his muscles to try and get free.
“ I can almost reach my staff wait just a second,” said Paguis breathlessly as he reached out from under the Baatold with his right hand and then grabbed his staff and shouted,” Hink horatove righteous!”
Then an explosion of lightning shot out of Paguis’s body and threw his Baatold 20 feet into the air and into one of the waterfalls. Then Paguis stood up gingerly and rubbed his right thigh and then looked at Rinship and Orbay who were staring up at him fiercely and said nervously,” Oh, sorry just give me a second,” and then he raised his staff and shouted,” Serots aree godma!”
Then the 2 Baatolds began to shrink and within a matter of seconds were the size of a coke can. Then Rinship grabbed his Baatold and threw it against the wall in disgust and said sternly,” I was so stupid for trusting those people. I just didn’t think I could be deceived and so I was.”
Orbay tossed her Baatold into the wall and said sadly,” We were taken in it happens. Now we just have to find a way to track them down.”
Rinship nodded softly as his thoughts were of embarrassment at his stupidity. And then he kicked the couch and shouted,” How dare they destroy my trust, how dare they!” and then said snidely,” the day will come when I cut their bellies open and dine on their innards, but not in a fast way. No, I’ll slowly cook them while they’re still alive.”
“ Yes, we will bring them to their knees, emperor,” said Paguis quickly as he punched the couch.
“ They can’t escape there’s only so many places they can go. We will find them, Rinship, darling,” said Orbay hopefully as she walked over to Rinship and rubbed his chest and pulled the hair out of his face.
“ This much is a crystal truth, a fact to be admired by future generations, my love. I will have my debt repaid,” said Rinship coldly as he thought of tearing Famaron’s head from his shoulders and drinking his blood.
Meanwhile inside Ratie’s bridge she sat happily eating a pair of steak sticks and drinking an orange soda called Gupea.
Gupea was made by a 207 year old hermit who lived in a tree castle on the outskirts of formally Troitsa named Su Letter. Su was an incredibly wealthy man as Gupea was a beloved drink, but with all his wealth chose to live in a humble tree castle. He spent his days before the planet was destroyed
playing a game of chess against himself that had lasted 20 years. He just refused to give an inch, or in this case a pawn no matter what. His wife Umy said that if he didn’t start laughing at her jokes once in a while she’d leave him for good. To which he replied,” Your jokes make me want to push you off a cliff. Not only that they give me gas and diarrhea. So I say pack your things and don’t forget to pack those knee slappers ‘cause I can’t keep ‘em in the toilet cause I still need the space for those runny eggs you keep making.” So Umy left him and when she was packing her things filled 2 of her bags with his collection of diamond rings and gold coins that he had in a large safe.
“ Do you think they’ve escaped the Baatolds yet?” asked Ratie as she ate.
“ Yeah they must have, I bet they’re looking for us right now. Hey, Famaron, have you been reading the Laru all this time?” asked Ohgood calmly as he shot holographic targets of Gargoyles using the ship’s games computer.
“ I have indeed it’s amazing it doesn’t just list a random spell it tells you several thoughts that you have to be thinking at the time you cast it as well as the parts of your own body you need to be feeling when you cast it. I had no idea any of that mattered. It also has a list of Gorgunia chants that can send a dozen men into a state of panic, fascinating,” said Famaron as he sat in the captain’s chair and read.
“ Really, well I know those will get used. Huh…did you find the shield spell they used to attack the Deveo?” asked Ohgood as he blasted 7 gargoyles in rapid procession and laughed to himself.
“ I did and if they catch up to us I’ll be quick to use it. Boy this book is a real eye opener. I just read a spell that can turn solid stone and liquid to water. So if they come after us I could cast it and their ship would literally turn to water and they’d plummet to the ground,” said Famaron in disbelief as he smiled and read.
“ That is so fantastical, with that book you’re a one man army,” said Veata as she laughed.
“ That is true, but the spells only work if the actual book is within 3 feet of the person casting. So we need to remember this in case one of us is neared to the book you might have to save the rest of us,” said Famaron honestly as he looked up from the Laru.
“ That’s a very astute point and a wise warning for inevitably the book will change hands. Now that we have the first stage of our plan, how easy do think it will be swaying our travel companions to fight with us?” asked Solcrist plainly as he watched a 1 foot tall pair of Baatolds doing flips on the floor in front of him.
“ Well, we will see it will depend on their willingness to accept there is no other option. The Peoms are going to destroy anyone who gets in their way. Now we know that is basically everyone after what they did to the Deveo, but the Geen might need some convincing,” said Famaron as he thought of what he was going to say to the Geen to sway them to his cause.
“ Leave the Geen to me, I’ve got the words they need to hear,” said Solcrist firmly as he laughed at the mini Baatolds.
“ Are you sure?” asked Famaron quickly as he looked at Solcrist.
“ Oh yes, let’s just say I speak a mean Geen. They will help us, it is not in question,” said Solcrist sternly as he stood up and kicked one of the Baatolds into the air and then laughed loudly.
Then the battleships traveled the last of the way to the Gorma highlands. The Gorma was over 15,000 feet above sea level and right on the equator giving it constant warmth. It consisted of ten 150 mile long green grass covered plateaus. There was also large parts littered with bushes and 600 foot tall
octagon shaped red trees known as Delps. There was a different city on each of the plateaus with Gohama the largest having 70 million people living there. Most of the refugees that made the trip from Parscan were in Gohama. The people who lived there were known as the Recks.
The city itself consisted of 8 layers of the same massive steel structure spread out over almost all of the plateau. The layers grew taller as you neared the center of the city giving the appearance of a round black pyramid with a silver spoon shaped tower in the center known as the Pointed Man. Inside the Pointed Man lived the ruler of the Gorma highlands King Hamrance Cohip or King Ham as he was called. He made it known that every person living in the Gorma must pay him a large fee for the pleasure of his company and the use of his plateaus. He charged each person 1/5 of all their wealth upon their second year of living there. Needless to say everyone paid it or died a horrible death and all the while he grew richer and richer. Gohama also had an 800 foot long floating lake that hovered 20 feet above the ground that had a spell cast on the water a century earlier to get it to float and to keep people from falling out the bottom although there were half a dozen spots where you could fall out of the bottom, but there was a large air filled purple mattress to catch you. Along the sides of the pool there was a floating white sand beach with several small brown food huts set up and filled with comfort foods like Gack burgers. There were always millions of ships flying in every direction around the city and at night a large swath of blue light made out of magic known as Sa, fills every street and alleyway so there is no fear of going out alone. The nightlife is one of ultimate wonder as there are 60 streets with nothing, but bar after bar known as the Weld area.
Just as the blue sun began to rise over Gohama the battleships flew towards her at slow speed. The Sa was just starting to be shaped out and many of the Recks were heading home from the Weld area.
“ Now that is a city, look at how massive it is,” said Veata in awe as she shook her head.
“ I’m glad you like it, because it where we’ll be living and hiding from Rinship. I say we land and grab some sleep at one of the hotels and let our worries catch a rest with us. What do you say?” asked Famaron warmly as he stretched his eyes.
Then in front of the battleships a pair of Konno’s began blasting at random small ships heading into the city. They launched 6 missiles and 3 of them hit a Mehelux broad side and it burst into flames. While the other 3 missiles raced after smaller ships and when they caught them blew them to pieces.
“ What are those ships doing?” asked Dornoa as he watched the Konno’s.
“ I don’t know, it could be a local dispute,” said Ohgood plainly.
“ Or, they’re a couple of dirt bags. I say we take ‘em out, I’m gonna try out a spell from the Laru and give those fools a rude awakening,” said Famaron sternly as he looked thru the pages then saw the spell he wanted and stood up and raised his staff and shouted,” T wrath be gone!”
Then in front of his battleship appeared a purple winged devil with a pair of Gasou pistols in his hands as well as a black whip around his waist. The devil was 100 feet tall and shredded with muscles. He also had on a black loin cloth and a golden Morshito bracelet around his left wrist.
The devil flew after the 2 Konno’s and fired shot after shot from his Gasou’s at the ships, with the first shot clipping the sides of one, but the others sailing wide. The Konno’s split up and went in opposite directions, but as they did the devil’s whip turned into a circle of light and it changed the devil into a pair of large blue balls of light and fire and they had the face of the devil on each. The balls shot after the Konno’s and when they caught up to the first one the mouth opened up and bit clean thru the fuselage splitting the ship in 2. The half that remained exploded and was swallowed by the ball.
The other Konno darted back and forth frantically as the blue ball closed in. Then he shot straight down, but the ball raced past him and waited with its mouth open where he was headed. And when he went into the mouth the ship came out the other side completely stripped down only to the steel frame, with the crew’s fleshless skeletons still in their chairs.
“ O.K. I admit I’d thought I had seen it all, but that was a bold face lie. So I now say that I have seen it all and that will remain a truth until another day when I say it again, thank you,” said Ohgood wryly as he spoke like an old man and shook his head and shoulders.
“ O.K. great, they’re gone, but why were they here anyway?” asked Dornoa in a concerned tone as he lit up a cigar.
“ Maybe they were a scout mission trying to lure us out. I wouldn’t put that past Rinship,” said Ohgood calmly as he shrugged his shoulders and stared at his hand.
“ I don’t know, maybe, but either way we need to get out of sight, because he is out there and he is gonna be here at some point,” said Veata sternly.
“ You’re right let’s set down at the base of that hotel on the left there,” said Famaron then he flew towards the Cocyrtal hotel.
The Coc
yrtal hotel was the size of a mountain with over 500,000 rooms and an entire fun park inside its walls. The outside of it was burgundy and had dark green windows shaped like a perfect circle all over the outside walls. There was the owners face painted across the left side in perfect detail showing Lamdrob Cocyrtal in a stern glance.
Lamdrob Cocyrtal was the only man half as rich as King Ham. Lamdrob had a distinct appearance with purple and black piercing eyes and a perfect triangle shaped nose as well as his seal black long straight hair that went to the small of his back. He had the words,” Death and laughter I can’t choose,” tattooed on his brow in green and red letters. His mouth looked like a fish’s and he had a perfect jawline. He was 7’3 and 652 pounds and was evenly proportionate. His hands were so large that he used his pinky finger to shake hands. His feet were so large he wore homemade boots that gave his size 45 shoes a poor appearance.
There was a dozen water spouts along the outside of the hotel that shot a thick stream of water up in the air and into another spout that turned that into 50 smaller spouts of red water. Then those 50 hit another collection spout and became 3 spouts of blue water as they shot into a large wading pool and went around the outside of the hotel.
They landed all 6 battleships in adjoining hangar bays next to the hotel that had shuttled that would fly to the check in desk. Inside the hangar bay there were thousands of lavish gigantic individual stalls for all the guests ships. Each stall had a personal 2 couch lounge and holographic movie projector. They also had 4 inch thick area rugs with Lamdrob’s smiling face sewn onto them, with each rug covering the entire stall. There was also a refrigerator and food heater seat up against the wall filled with various drinks and warm Gack steaks. There was a clover shaped doorway that led directly to your shuttle in the front of the stall that had the words,” Try smiling your face hurts,” written above it in a snake hologram that continually stuck out its tongue and winked at you.
Everyone exited their battleships and walked thru the doorway and got into their shuttles. The shuttles were 15 feet long and shaped like a twinkie with a dark green exterior. They had a large brown leather couch in the center of the shuttle facing straight out the front plasma window. There was a pair
of tiny 2 foot tall black robes driving the shuttle that looked like Lamdrob. The shuttled drove thru a personal tunnel right inside the hotel then stopped 5 feet from the 150 yard long check in black marble counter. There were hundreds of Recks sitting behind the counter waiting on every person in less than 30 seconds. The room itself had a 60 foot high eagle shaped ceiling with a vivid light display of a meteor shower. The floors were covered in enormous 5 inch thick black cashmere rug that had King Ham’s likeness on it and was removed and replaced with another cashmere rug daily as they were cleaned. There was a light song playing titled,” To think in blankness,” by the Dreaming Realists.
The Dreaming Realists were a 2 piece with each of them playing a variety of instruments. Their names were Pete and Salion Eethers, a pair of brothers with Salion being the older of the 2 and the lead singer. Salion looked like a blue bird with a rare skin condition that made his face multi colored. He also had large lime green eyes that moved very slowly that put people at ease. He said he wrote songs because he was scared of everything he saw and didn’t have the means to process it. He once wrote a song titled,” Why are we talking,” about the different people he’d been over the course of his life and how now he couldn’t relate to or recognize any of them.
“ Hey stranger do you want to share a room?” asked Camtow Elmit as she grinned at Famaron and rubbed his arm.
Camtow Elmit was a Beautiful seal black haired stunner with golden eyes. She also had large full lips and noticeable deep dimples. She had a tattoo of the Bromlus society above her left eye, that showed a head with a square block of gold coming out of the forehead.
The Bromlus society was a large underground group of wizards and troublemakers. They spent their days plotting ways to unravel the government in place and bring about the return of the Liolan years.
Liolan is a green liquid ingested in drinking water. Once ingested it begins to reconfigure a person’s DNA until all the worst genes are dissolved and a person becomes their greatest self. The problem is your physical self changes as well until everyone looks stunningly beautiful and has the brains of a scientist thus there is no difference from person to person. The end result becomes a world without diversity and only the ones who can afford it get the Liolan.
Camtow was 6’1” and 142 pounds with a thin curvy figure and soft skin. She had on a black silk knee high dress, with a line of white flowers sewn up either side in lace. She also had on a red lace choker and a silver bracelet with the words,” Skinny thinking,” engraved on it. And she was wearing a pair of red 4 inch heels with the Bromlus crest on the heels.
“ Well is it gonna cost me anything?” asked Famaron as he grinned and wondered if he should have said that.
“ Yeah, half the price of the room and half the pillows, as well as the left side of the bed. Are you interested?” asked Camtow slyly as she smirked and rubbed Famaron’s wrist.
“ Yes I am, you wait here and I’ll take care of it,” said Famaron smoothly then he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
Then Famaron started for the counter and as he did Ratie, Ohgood, Dornoa, Veata, and Solcrist came walking up and Ratie asked,” So who’s your new friend, is she a spy?”
“ No, Ratie, she just wants to share a room that’s all,” said Famaron as he grinned wildly and put his arm out holding Ratie back.
“ I doubt it very highly that, that is all she’s after. Either way why don’t you keep the Laru out of all discussions with, what’s her name?” asked Ratie as she tried to hug Famaron.
“ Ah…she didn’t tell me her name, isn’t this an odd situation. Ya know I didn’t tell her mine either. Well aren’t I terrible ah young, Ratie,” said Famaron wryly as he held Ratie’s head back with his hand.
“ She could be a thief, Famaron, where did you put the Laru?” asked Solcrist in a concerned voice.
“ It’s in my battleship’s main safe. Trust me there’s no way to break into it, it’s got a code activated lock. And oddly enough only I have the proper code and I’m not tellin’, no I won’t tell ya, no I won’t,” said Famaron playfully as her lightly slapped Ratie’s hand.
“ How’s it comin’ handsome?” asked Camtow warmly as she put her arm around Famaron and began French kissing his cheek.
“ Well first up we should introduce everyone I’m Famaron, that’s Ratie, Solcrist, Ohgood, Veata, and Dornoa that wiry one. Just kidding what should I call you sexy?” asked Famaron in a deep voice as he looked longingly at Camtow.
“ I’m Camtow and it’s great to meet you all. What finds you all here in Gohama. I know it’s not the scenery?” asked Camtow as she laughed and thought about asking them all to join the Bromlus society, but not ‘til she had won them over.
“ We’re just a bunch of refugees who wanted to live somewhere new. We thought Permea might do us well. Do you think we made the right choice?” asked Famaron as he gave Camtow a wink.
“ All’s life is, is choices some good some bad. In the end it comes down to who your friends are. So yes I can tell you’ll love it here, but Permea is far from perfect,” said Camtow boldly as she remained calm and gave everyone a warm look.
“ Excuse me, sir, would you like a room?” asked Pococ warmly as he smiled from behind the counter.
Pococ Nard had blonde shortly trimmed hair and a red mustache. He had grey eyes and a short pointy nose. He was 5’4” and 150 pounds and had on a dark blue suit with a light blue dress shirt underneath as well as a pair of red leather cowboy boots. He also had a tiny 3 inch hologram of Lamdrob smiling on his lapel.
Solcrist looked over and said flatly,” We nee
d 6.”
“ Then you will have them and I can get you the Corgudy level if you don’t mind paying a bit more,” said Pococ brightly as he got ready to press the button for the cheaper room on the computer screen in front of him.
Then Ohgood pulled out his wad of money and slapped it down on the counter and asked,” What will this get us?”
Pococ looked at the money and then said nervously,” Ahh, about half the hotel, then it’s the Corgudy level. I must tell you there’s a personal chef and bartender that come with your rooms, as well as a pool and theater in each. Then there’s the ability to get massages and even a well acted play if you like theater.”
“ We love theater,” said Ohgood quickly as he and everyone tried not to laugh.
“ Then you’ll love our selection of 800 plays. Or if you love a good band we’ve got 3 dozen bands who will play for you personally. And, if you love a good movie there’s a holographic projector in each of your lavish rooms,” said Pococ quickly as he began to seat profusely and pressed the buttons to have their rooms and new rooms keys pressed.
Then the 7 black plastic room keys popped out of a red steel box and Pococ grabbed them out of the slot and handed them to each person and then Famaron said happily,” You are very good at your job I’m gonna give you a big tip when we leave.”
“ Thank you, sir, but we aren’t allowed to take tips unless they are large tips. That was a joke,” said Pococ awkwardly as everyone looked at him stone faced.
“ Well in spite of that terrible delivery of what could have been a moment of whimsy, I’m still gonna give you a sizable tip upon us vacating. But we may be here for some time, so try not to worry that we stiffed you as I personally will see you’re taken care of,” said Famaron smoothly as his left eyebrow raised up and then he kissed Camtow passionately.
“ Thank you, sir, that means a lot. Now your key has a tracking device in it that will lead you to your rooms and your bags will already be there when you arrive. Oh, and one last thing there is a large auditorium down that hallway that has 24 hour games and entertainment,” said Pococ brightly as he pointed to a long hallway.
“ Thanks, bye,” said Ohgood then he and everyone started towards their rooms.
They walked into a room filled with red marble and green marble fountains that were shooting water at one another thru their stone rifles. The scene depicted was the epic battle between the Peoms and the Sands with each statue showing a different moment of tragedy from the battle. They showed the
great Sands general Gabes M. Needle as he single handedly fought off 20 Peoms with only a Gasou pistol and a long red sword.
Gabes was a tiny man of 4’11”, but was born with an abnormal physical strength and speed. He was able to lift 2000 pounds over his head and could outrun a Lion. He had a long black handlebar mustache that had 2 once gold jugs attached to the tips filled with whiskey that he saved for emergencies. His eyes had a wild look in them that sent fear down the spines of all who dared look him in the eyes. Gabes wrote a speech titled,” The dead are fakin’ it,” and it had a passage that read,” While we may not see eye to eye at least we disagree. That’s not to say we don’t like each other, but we’ve got hatred and resentment as the core of our relationship and that gives us a factual truth. Now I may not have bore you as my child, but if I had I’d hate you just the same. I f a wise man can solve the problems of many you can’t spell I. I want it said and said plain, I love you more than a hole in my cheek, which is to say I hate your worthless guts right up until you stop breathing then we’re even!”
“ This is the vainest room I’ve ever seen. Look at how they picture all the soldiers with heroic faces as they’re killing someone. I mean really when you’re at war do you ever strike that pose?” asked Ratie as she mimicked Gabes killing a soldier with a smile on his face.
Everyone looked at her and laughed and then Ohgood ran up to one of the statues and said quickly,” It should be more like this.”
Then he made the face of extreme anguish and held the sword of the statue in his stomach. Then everyone laughed harder and in walked Lamdrob himself and when he saw Ohgood walked briskly towards him with a scowl on his face. Ohgood looked up and saw Lamdrob and kept doing the face and carrying on and Lamdrob walked right up to him and said sternly,” Son, that man you’re mocking was a
patriot a treasure and the best friend we ever had. If he were here today and saw you doing that I’m sure he’d say…that’s funny as hell you’re my kind of person.”
Ohgood and everyone laughed and Ohgood said happily,” O.K. you got me, but that’s o.k. I love a good joke.”
Lamdrob smiled and said warmly,” Hello there I’m Lamdrob and this is my hotel, didn’t catch your name, son.”
“ Because it’s still in mid air, Ohgood,” said Ohgood as he extended his hand.
Then Lamdrob grabbed it and shook it and said warmly,” Well, Ohgood, I think you and your friends should join me in my personal box for the performance tonight by the Bemeseric troop. Trust me you will be entertained?” asked Lamdrob as he grinned at everyone.
Ohgood looked at everyone and they all nodded yes and he then said happily,” Lamdrob, we love a good time, just as long as we aren’t locked in a cell or fed worms.”
“ I can’t make any promises,” said Lamdrob jokingly then he laughed as did everyone else.
“ Then we’re in, let’s hit it,” said Ohgood excitedly as he grinned.
Then Lamdrob turned and started walking towards a statue of Gabes and when he got close punched it in the eye and a secret passageway opened up.
“ This way’s a bit faster. Watch out for the dragons thou,” said Lamdrob sarcastically as he walked into the tunnel.
“ Dragons?” said Ratie nervously as she looked over at Famaron and Camtow who just shook their heads.
Inside the tunnel it had a thick black carpet covering all the walls with a painting of Lamdrob every few feet inside mahogany wooden frames. Each painting showed him doing odd things like climbing into a dragon’s mouth or punching a wizard in the mouth and the fist going right thru his head. The floor of the tunnel was hard dark brown wood with circles of a darker wood every 3 feet with a gold disc in the center that had words of wisdom from Burnrih like,” When death is a friend lonely is your only option,” as well as,” Why shout out our flaws when only our soul can hear. Give a whisper to yourself when you’ve made a mistake and let your inner love take hold with both hands. Only god has things to judge we can only accept and be thankful.”
“ Where does this lead, Lamdrob?” asked Camtow as she looked at a painting of Lamdrob’s torso on top of a dragon’s legs taking a bath.
“ To heaven,” said Lamdrob wryly as he turned left and opened another secret passageway that led to his personal box in the auditorium that was right on the left side of the stage.
“ Heaven eh, I had no idea I had died, huh. Well feels the same as life where’s the steak sticks?” asked Ohgood sarcastically as he followed Lamdrob out into the box.
The stage was clover shaped and made from a thick brown mahogany. It also had several chambers of black and red set up on the stage in a star design with the picture of a different animal on each like a dragon or a gargoyle and even a Crames.
A Crames was a dark red man like creature, but with half its face a horse and the rest a woman’s. It had huge bulging biceps and tree trunk legs, but its waist was abnormally small. They wore brown
leather kilts and black leather boots. And they were never without their silver spears. Their feet were square in shape with tiny round toes.
There was a backdrop behind the chambers made from a cast spell of a floating jungle with dozens of red and green gorillas running and jumping from tree to tree as a massive liquid light shows took place around them. There was also a red sun fl
oating jus feet from the gorillas the size of a basketball that glowed and filled the auditorium with warmth. The floor of the stage also had several trap doors leading to the performers area and backstage. The ceiling went up 150 feet with several seats inside boxes jutted out over the stage and went upward at an angle with a space beneath each of them so they could see. There was also a bridge 50 feet up to cross over to the other side.
Inside Lamdrob’s box were 15 red leather recliners aligned in 2 rows with the back row raised up 2 feet. There was a full bar with all forms of alcohol that even had a bartender sitting behind it. There was also a large refrigerator filled with both cold and warm snacks that was gold in color and had Lamdrob’s face across the front of it.
“ Please everyone have a seat the Bemeseric troop will be out in a few moments,” said Lamdrob gleefully as he sat down in the center of the front row and then looked out over the audience in front of the stage that went back 50 rows and sighed and wondered if any of his friends were in attendance.
Famaron, Ohgood, Camtow, Ratie, Solcrist, Veata, and Dornoa sat on either side of Lamdrob. And just as they did a ball of blue flames with red wings flew slowly up out of the audience and into Lamdrob’s box. Once there it changed into a red sealed square letter and Lamdrob snatched it out of the air and asked,” What do we have here I wonder?”
“ Probably a bill, these seats look expensive,” said Ratie jokingly as she gently rubbed Lamdrob’s forearm.
Lamdrob opened the letter by breathing on the seal which caused a puff of blue smoke to come out where the seal had been. Then he watched as the envelope unfolded and became a single piece of red paper with a message on it.
“ It says, Lamdrob, you look handsome as always. Who are all your new friends and can you ask them if I can borrow some money, sincerely H. Oribus Dukereo. Oh it’s my old friend Oribus isn’t this hilarious, huh,” said Lamdrob happily as he looked at the letter then out in the audience and saw Oribus stand up and rub his sides like he was laughing and Lamdrob stood up and yelled,” Get over here, Oribus, you old dung salesman!”
Then Oribus started for the aisle and made his way over to Lamdrob’s box. Oribus was 5’7” and 230 pounds with a barrel chest and a large round belly. He had a thick brown curly beard and dark blonde long curly hair. His skin was burgundy in color with black freckles on his forearms and cheeks. He had dark brown eyes that were very jovial. His hands were fat and had wide fingers and meaty palms. His feet were size 15 and he had square toes. He had a tattoo of the Bromlus society across his chest in green and red. He had on a navy blue satin shirt and a pair of dark brown corduroy pants with no back pockets. He also had on a knee length black leather jacket with a large high collar that framed his head as well as a pair of dark green leather sneakers he made himself.
“ Oribus, I thought you were dead, how did you get out of that coffin?” asked Lamdrob sarcastically as he fought back a smile.
“ I always keep a small shovel in my pocket for special occasions,” fired back Oribus as he smiled and looked at everyone.
Lamdrob burst out laughing as did Ratie and Dornoa while everyone else smiled. Then everyone introduced themselves and Oribus sat down and grabbed a scotch and a Gack skewer and began to eat. Ohgood grabbed a Gack alfredo pasta plate and a caramel drink, which was a brown soda pop. Everyone else had Gack filet mignon and glasses of wine. Then the lights dimmed and the chamber in the front of the stage opened and out came a pair of hulking red haired green skinned men with long brown and black staffs named Huckie and Dirte. Then Huckie raised his staff and shouted,” Brambaddamus!”
Then a ray of white light and red feathers shot out of the tip of his staff, but the feathers stayed suspended in mid air as the light only went half way out into the crowd before stopping and forming a red hole in the air. Then out of the hole came 7 gargoyles on anti gravity motorcycles wearing black top hats and carrying apple crisp pies. The gargoyles flew over to Lamdrob and gave him 8 apple crisp pies and then did a flip and the other gargoyles began giving everyone else in the audience pies.
Then Dirte raised his staff and shouted,” Squuid pro co!”
Then a trio of female white angels descended from the ceiling and threw fist fulls of a healing blue liquid over the crowd that caused the worry and fear of the crowd to drift away. Then the 7 gargoyles began circling the 3 angels. They went faster and faster then suddenly the angels pulled out swords and started attacking the gargoyles. First they stabbed one gargoyle in the head and his head burst into flames. The other 2 angels chopped off one gargoyle’s head and a geyser of candy flew out into the
crowd. While the other gargoyle got stabbed clean thru his stomach and 100 gold coins came cascading out onto the stage and the crowd cheered and laughed loudly.
“ Do all gargoyles have gold in their stomachs. Cause I love gold and could use some especially gargoyle gold,” said Ohgood jokingly as he looked sternly at Ratie who rolled her eyes.
“ Couldn’t we all use a bit of the gargoyle gold. I read that somewhere and my life has been different ever since. Be wary of that GARGOYLE GOLD!” said Solcrist loudly as he glared at Ohgood and then smiled and said slyly,” It’s actually very valuable.”
“ Thanks, Solcrist, for creepin’ me out. I needed a good dose of weird in my brain. Next time you want to interject how about just simple I agree or yes that’s funny,” said Ohgood dryly as he tried to not smile.
“ Oh child of Goarote there is a plague coming and all who trifle shall perish by horrible means!” said Solcrist boldly and then he laughed and said calmly,” I get a bit jazzed up on wine.”
Then everyone grabbed their cups and took a sip and Ratie said sternly,” Note to self, keep all wine in hole in ground far away from Solcrist for own safety and world safety.”
Then on the stage Huckie waved his staff and shouted,” The death of time rewind!”
Then the other 5 chambers swung open and out poured 10 miniature clowns on dragons backs each carrying a large sound in their hands. There were also a Pair of 15 foot Baatolds with black and green fur that ran and jumped up over the audience and began floating over them. As the clowns flew around the room the sounds they had in their hands would jump into a different person’s ear every few seconds.
The sounds were of singing, guitar playing, symphonies, babies laughing and even an unheard note from the 7th century made by a dying dragon.
“ Lamdrob, a show this good is a rare thing indeed. Where did you find the troop?” asked Oribus as he lit up a glass liquid red cigar and then started blowing a thick red smoke.
“ They were part of a large group of refugees that came here from a destroyed planet called Parscan. It’s amazing what they’re able to do,” said Lamdrob calmly as he thought of the day the troop came to Permea.
Famaron heard this and felt shock go thru his body. He didn’t realize that anyone else had escaped. Then his thoughts raced as he began to sweat wondering if any of his enemies had escaped. Ratie touched his arm and gave him a look that told him to get a hold of himself as she had heard as well. Then Famaron nodded and turned his attention to the stage, but his thoughts still raced.
“ Refugees, well either way they’re pure talent I tell you this and I’ve seen a lot of troops. How ‘bout you, Famaron, you ever seen anyone better?” asked Oribus warmly as he peeked over at Famaron who just stared blankly forward until everyone was looking over at him and then Oribus asked,” are you alright, Famaron?”
Famaron looked over blankly and then realized what Oribus had asked and said quickly,” Oh yes I’m fine, I was just enjoying the show.”
“ So what do you think?” asked Oribus anxiously as he looked at Famaron perplexed.
“ About what?” asked Famaron sternly as he looked at everyone and Ratie mouthed the words the troop and Famaron said smoothly,” Oh th
e troop they’re the best I’ve ever seen. Total professionals and really in the moment, I love them.”
“ Yeah that’s what I said, they’re amazing,” said Oribus boldly as he smoked his cigar and laughed.
Then on the stage a series of 8 holograms of different cities and outdoor terrains like a forest, desert, and an arctic ice sheet filled the stage and a low hum started. Then a blazing liquid light display started above the holograms where it began to take the shape of a massive fish called a Portimus.
The Portimus had huge rectangular yellow eyes with a smaller set of eyes floating inside the eyeball that were red. It had 2 s shaped slits for nostrils just beneath the eyes in the center. Its mouth was square in shape with green floppy lips. Its skin was an unending changing city skyline of Enelop. And it had a pair of long arms with webbed fingers on its hands on either side of it. It also had a square hole on and above its tail that shards of light and purple bubbles shot out of every few seconds.
The Portimus floated above the stage and glared at the audience then it jabbed its long neck into the front row and grabbed a man in its teeth. It lifted the man high into the air and then swallowed him whole. In a few seconds suddenly the man was shot out of the square hole above the tail and caught by Huckie. The man was covered in a blue smoke and his clothes were neatly pressed. Again the audience cheered and began talking back and forth.
“ Ya know, these seats could be a bit dangerous. I really don’t feel like getting pooped out of a fish. Am I the only one?” asked Ratie as she grimaced and stuck out her tongue.
“ You are not, I have no desire to be pooped out. Now vomited, there’s a good time. Who’s up for getting eaten?” asked Ohgood as he grinned and raised his hand.
“ If that foul beast comes by my airspace a spell of death and destruction I will cast, one so vile that half the people in this room will be destroyed. Mark this day as the end of all that was and will be!” said Solcrist coldly as he stared down the Portimus.
Everyone looked at him in shock and then Ohgood said brightly,” Can we get another 8 bottles of the crazy juice, my friend wants to end the world,” and then everyone glared at Ohgood and he said nervously,” or not, I can just keep the levity to myself.”
Then the Portimus started for Lamdrob’s box and Solcrist stood up and raised his staff and shouted,” Goarote tears away demons lies!”
Then a massive 30 foot high and 40 foot wide red flaming Baatold head appeared in front of Solcrist. And then it fired a burst of flames from its eyes and shot forward and bit into the Portimus’s head. Then the Portimus began trying to shake off the Baatold head as it continued blasting fire from its eyes and torching the Portimus’s skin. Then the Baatold head bit down hard and a geyser of blood sprayed the audience and they began to boo.
“ What are they booing for the party just started?” asked Ohgood slyly as he grinned mischievously and laughed.
“ Because they are the party and the jokes on them,” said Veata as she shook her head.
“ Even better, oh let them get dowsed I love it,” said Ohgood excitedly as he clapped his hands and stuck out his tongue.
Then the Portimus began firing baby Portimus’s out of the square hole above its tail and they shot straight for the Baatold head. But as they did another hard bite from the Baatold head sent another
geyser of blood out into the audience this one larger than the last. Now they were all drenched with blood and becoming irate and throwing empty bottles of wine at Dirte and Huckie. One of which hit Dirte right in the eye and knocked him on his back.
“ This is heaven, I love mass hysteria it’s just…so massive. Who would have known I’d have the greatest time of my life here today,” said Oribus happily as he slapped his knee and yelled like a Baatold.
Then the Baatold head bit clean thru the Portimus and out came a river of guts as the Portimus body shot wildly off in every direction. It smashed into the audience and crushed a man just as he was about to throw a half full wine bottle at Huckie killing him instantly.
“ We’re out of here,” said Famaron sternly as he saw the chaos.
“ Fine by me,” said Ratie nervously as she stood up.
Everyone got up to leave except Oribus who looked up and asked,” Oh don’t leave now there’s still more death and destruction. Don’t you want to see the surly audience meet their doom?”
“ Not if it means us meeting ours,” said Camtow sharply as she took Famaron’s hand and they quickly left the auditorium.