“It really is perfect, Maxon.”
“I hoped you’d think so. But that is precisely why I needed to talk to you. I set out to spend the same amount on all of you. I wanted to be fair.”
I nodded. That sounded reasonable.
“The problem with that being, your tastes are much simpler than the others. And you have a bracelet as opposed to a necklace. I ended up spending half as much on you as the rest, and I wanted you to know that before you saw what I gave them. And I wanted you to know that it came from wanting to give you what I felt you would like the best, not because of your place or anything like that.” Maxon’s face was so sincere.
“Thank you, Maxon. I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” I said, placing a hand on his arm.
As always, he seemed so happy to be touched. “I suspected as much. Though thank you for saying so. I was afraid I might hurt you.”
“Not at all.”
Maxon’s smile grew. “Of course, I still wanted to be fair, so I had a thought.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin envelope. “Perhaps you would like to send the difference to your family.”
I stared at the envelope. “Are you serious?”
“Of course. I want to be impartial, and I thought this would be the best way to handle the discrepancy. And I hoped it would make you happy.” He placed the envelope in my hands, and I took it, still shocked.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. But sometimes it’s about what you want to do, not what you have to.”
Our eyes met, and I realized that he did a lot for me out of simply wanting to. Giving me pants when I wasn’t allowed to wear them, bringing me a bracelet from the other side of the world . . .
Surely he loved me. Right? Why wouldn’t he just say it?
We’re alone, Maxon. If you say it, I’ll say it back.
Nothing.
“I don’t know how to thank you for this, Maxon.”
He smiled. “Hearing you say it is nice.” He cleared his throat. “I’m always interested in hearing how you feel.”
Oh, no. Nope. I was not putting it out there first.
“Well, I’m very grateful. As always.”
Maxon sighed. “I’m happy you like it.” Unsatisfied, he took to watching the carpet. “I need to go. I still have to deliver the gifts to the others.”
We stood together, and I escorted him to the door. As he left, he turned and kissed my hand. With a friendly nod of his head, he disappeared around the corner to visit the others.
I walked back to the bed and looked again at my gifts. I couldn’t believe that something this beautiful was mine to keep, forever. I vowed to myself that, even if I went home and all the money ran out and my family was absolutely destitute, I would never sell these or give them away, or the bracelet he’d gotten me in New Asia. I would hold on to them no matter what.
“The Convicting is simple enough,” Silvia said to us the next afternoon as we followed her to the Great Room. “It’s one of those things that sounds much more challenging than it is, but above all it’s symbolic.
“It will be a grand event. There will be several magistrates here, not to mention the extended members of the royal family, and enough cameras to make your heads spin,” Silvia barked over her shoulder.
So far this was sounding anything but simple. We rounded the corner, and Silvia flung open the doors to the Great Room. In the middle of the space was Queen Amberly herself, giving instructions to men setting up rows of stadium seats. In another corner, someone was debating which carpet to roll out, and two florists were discussing which blossoms would be most appropriate. They apparently didn’t think the Christmas decorations should stay. So much was happening, I almost forgot Christmas was coming at all.
Toward the back of the room a stage was set up with stairs across the front of it, and three massive thrones were centered on the platform. To our right were four small stages with lone seats on them, looking beautiful but also very isolating. Those alone were enough to decorate the room, and I couldn’t imagine how it would look once everything was in place.
“Your Majesty,” Silvia said with a curtsy, and we all followed suit. The queen walked over to us, her face lit up with a smile.
“Hello, ladies,” she said. “Silvia, how far have you gotten?”
“Not far at all, Majesty.”
“Excellent. Ladies, let me enlighten you about your next task in the Selection process.” She motioned for us to follow her inside the Great Room. “The Convicting is meant to be a symbol of your submission to the law. One of you will become the new princess, and someday queen. The law is how we live, and it will be your duty not only to live by it but to uphold it. And so,” she said, stopping and facing us, “you will start with the Convicting.
“A man who has committed a crime, most likely a theft, will be brought in. These are cases that are worthy of a whipping, but these men will spend time in jail instead. And you will send them there.”
The queen smiled at our bewildered expressions. “I know it sounds harsh, but it’s not. These men have each committed a crime, and instead of facing the difficulties of a physical punishment, they’ll be paying their debts with time. You’ve seen firsthand how painful a caning can be. Being whipped isn’t much better. You’re doing them a favor,” she said encouragingly.
I still didn’t feel good about it.
Those who stole were penniless. Twos and Threes who broke laws paid their way out of punishment with money. The poor paid their way in flesh or time. I remembered Jemmy, Aspen’s younger brother, leaning over a block while men took a handful of food out of his back in lashes. While I hated that, it was better than locking him away. The Legers needed him to work, young as he was, and it seemed that once you got above a Five, people forgot that.
Silvia and Queen Amberly walked us through the ceremony over and over until our lines were perfect. I tried to deliver mine with the grace that Elise or Kriss had, but they came out sounding flat every time.
I did not want to put a man in jail.
When we were dismissed, the other girls headed to the door together, but I went to the queen. She was finishing a conversation with Silvia. I should have used that time to come up with something more eloquent. Instead, when Silvia walked away and the queen addressed me, I just blurted it out.
“Please don’t make me do this,” I pleaded.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I can submit to the law, I swear. It’s not that I’m trying to be difficult, but I can’t put a man in jail. He didn’t do anything to me.”
Her expression was kind as she reached to touch my face. “But he did, dear girl. If you became the princess, you’d be the embodiment of the law. When someone breaks the smallest rule, they stab you. The only way to keep from bleeding out is to take a stand against those who have already harmed you so that others will not be so brazen.”
“But I’m not the princess!” I implored. “No one’s hurting me.”
She smiled and lowered her head to mine, whispering, “You’re not the princess today, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that was a temporary issue.”
Queen Amberly stepped back and winked.
I sighed, getting desperate. “Bring me someone else. Not some petty thief who probably only stole because they were hungry.” Her face stiffened. “I’m not suggesting it’s okay to steal. I know it’s not. But bring me someone who did something really bad. Bring me the person who killed the guard that got Maxon and me into a safe room the last time the rebels came. That person should be locked up forever. And I’ll say that happily. But I can’t do this to some hungry Seven. I can’t.”
I could see she wanted to be gentle with me, but I could also see she wouldn’t budge on this. “Allow me to be very blunt with you, Lady America. Of all the girls, you need to do this the most. People have seen you run to stop a caning, suggest undoing the castes on national television, and encourage people to fight when their lives are in serious danger
.” Her kind face was serious. “I’m not saying those were bad things, but they have given most people the impression that you run wild.”
I fidgeted with my hands, knowing this was going to end with me doing the Convicting no matter what I said.
“If you want to stay, if you care about Maxon”—she paused, giving me a moment to consider—“then you need to do this. You need to show you have the ability to be obedient.”
“I do. I just don’t want to put someone in jail. That’s not a princess’s job. Magistrates do that.”
Queen Amberly patted my shoulder. “You can do it. And you will. If you want Maxon at all, you need to be perfect. I’m sure you understand that there’s opposition where you’re concerned.”
I nodded.
“Then do it.”
She walked away, leaving me alone in the Great Room. I went up to my seat, practically a throne itself, and mumbled the lines again. I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t a big deal. People broke laws and went to jail all the time. It was one person out of thousands. And I needed to be perfect.
Perfect was my only option.
CHAPTER 19
THE DAY OF THE CONVICTING I was a bundle of nerves. I was afraid I’d trip, or forget what to say. Even worse, I was afraid I’d fail. The one thing I didn’t have to worry about was my clothes. My maids had to confer with the head dresser to make something suitable for me, though I wouldn’t use a word as plain as suitable to describe it.
Following again on tradition, the dresses were all white and gold. Mine had a high waist and no strap on the left but did have a small, off-the-shoulder strap on the right, covering my scar and looking really lovely at the same time. The top was snug, but the skirt was billowing, kissing the floor with scallops of golden lace. It came together with pleats in the back that fell behind me in a short train. When I looked at myself in the mirror, it was the first time I actually thought I looked like a princess.
Anne grabbed the olive branch I was meant to carry and situated it in my arm. We were supposed to place the branches at the foot of the king as a sign of peace toward our leader and our willingness to yield to the law.
“You look beautiful, miss,” Lucy said. I couldn’t help but notice how calm and confident she seemed lately. I smiled.
“Thank you. I wish you were all going to be there,” I said.
“Me, too.” Mary sighed.
Ever proper, Anne turned the focus back in my direction. “Don’t you worry, miss; you’ll do perfectly. And we’ll be watching with the other maids.”
“You will?” That was encouraging, even though they wouldn’t be downstairs.
“We wouldn’t miss it,” Lucy assured me.
A sharp knocking snapped us from our conversation. Mary opened the door, and I was happy to see it was Aspen.
“I’m here to escort you to the Convicting, Lady America,” he said.
Lucy piped up. “What do you think of our handiwork, Officer Leger?”
He smiled slyly. “You’ve outdone yourselves.”
Lucy giggled, and Anne quietly shushed her as she made final adjustments to my hair. Now that I knew about Anne’s feelings for Aspen, it was obvious how perfect she tried to be in front of him.
I took a deep breath, remembering the masses waiting for me downstairs.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded, readjusted my branch, and went to the door, peeking back just once to see my maids’ happy faces. I looped my arm through Aspen’s and headed with him down the hall.
“How have you been?” I asked casually.
“I can’t believe you’re going through with this,” he shot back.
I swallowed, immediately nervous again. “I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Mer.”
“Aspen, you know I don’t like this. But in the end, it’s only one person. And he’s guilty.”
“Just like the rebel sympathizers that the king demoted a caste. Just like Marlee and Carter.” I didn’t have to look up to see how disgusted he was.
“That was different,” I mumbled, not sounding convincing at all.
Aspen stopped dead in his tracks and forced me to look at him. “It’s never different with him.”
His tone was so serious. Aspen knew more than most people did, because he’d stood guard during meetings or delivered orders himself. He was holding a secret right now.
“Are they thieves at all?” I asked quietly as we continued to move.
“Yes, but nothing deserving the years of jail they’ll receive today. And it’s going to be a pretty loud message to their friends.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re people who’ve gotten in his way, Mer. Rebel sympathizers, men a bit too outspoken about what a tyrant he is. This is being broadcast everywhere. The people they’ve tried to sway will see this, will warn others about what happens to those who attempt to go against the king. This is deliberate.”
I whipped my arm from his, hissing my words at him. “You’ve been here almost as long as I have. In all that time, did you ever not deliver one of the sentences you were ordered to?”
He considered. “No, but—”
“Then don’t judge me. If he’s not above putting his enemies in prison without real cause, what do you think he’ll do to me? He hates me!”
Aspen’s eyes were pleading. “Mer, I know it’s scary, but you’ve—”
I put up my hand. “Do your job. Take me downstairs.”
He swallowed once, turned forward, and put his arm out for me. I gripped it, and we walked on in silence.
Halfway down the stairs, as the buzz of conversation started to reach us, he spoke up again.
“I always wondered if they’d change you.”
I didn’t respond. What could I say anyway?
In the grand foyer, the other girls were staring into the distance, quietly moving their lips as they recited their lines. I detached myself from Aspen and moved to join them.
Elise had talked about her dress so much, I felt as if I’d already seen it. Gold and cream were woven together in a slim, sleeveless design, and her golden gloves looked dramatic. Her gifts from Maxon were deep, dark gems, and they made her slick hair and dark eyes pop.
Kriss once again managed to be the embodiment of all things royal, and it was like she wasn’t even trying. Her dress was fitted through the waist and burst out like a flower blossoming toward the ground. And Maxon’s necklace and earrings for her were iridescent, gently rounded, and perfect. It did, for a moment, make me sad that mine were so simple.
Celeste’s dress . . . well, it would certainly be unforgettable. Her neckline was plunging, and it seemed a little inappropriate for the occasion. She caught me staring, and pushed her lips together and shook her shoulders at me.
I laughed once and put my hand to my forehead, feeling a little sick. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself.
Celeste met me halfway, swinging her branch with each step. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just not feeling well, I guess.”
“Do. Not. Puke,” she ordered. “Especially not on me.”
“I won’t throw up,” I assured her.
“Who threw up?” Kriss asked, joining the conversation; and Elise followed behind her.
“No one,” I said. “I’m just tired or something.”
“It won’t last too long,” Kriss reassured me.
It’ll last forever, I thought. I looked at each of their faces. They’d come to my side just now. Wouldn’t I have done the same for them? Maybe . . .
“Do any of you actually feel good about doing this?” I asked.
They all looked at one another or the floor, but no one answered.
“Then let’s not do it,” I urged.
“Not do it?” Kriss questioned. “America, it’s tradition. We have to.”
“No we don’t. Not if we all decide not to.”
“What would we do? Refuse to walk in there?” Celeste asked
.
“That’s one option,” I offered.
“You want us to sit in there and do nothing?” Elise sounded appalled.
“I hadn’t thought it through. I just know I don’t think this is a good idea.”
I could see that Kriss was genuinely considering it.
“It’s a trick!” Elise accused.
“What?” How could she come to that conclusion?
“She’s going last. If we all do nothing and then she follows through, she looks obedient while the rest of us look like idiots.” Elise shook her branch at me as she spoke.
“America?” Kriss looked at me, disappointment filling her eyes.
“No, I swear; that’s not what I was going to do!”
“Ladies!” We all turned toward Silvia’s correcting tone. “I understand that you’re nervous, but that’s no reason to shout.”
Her gaze hit each of us, and we all exchanged looks as they decided whether to go in on this with me.
“All right,” Silvia began. “Elise, you’ll be first, just as we practiced. Celeste and Kriss, you will follow; and America, you’ll be last. One at a time, carry your branch up the red carpet and place it at the feet of the king. Then come back and take your seat. The king will say a few words, and the ceremony will start.”
She stepped over to what looked like a small box on a stand and turned it around to show a television monitor with a view of everything happening inside the Great Room. It was magnificent. Red carpeting divided the room into the seats for the press and guests, and the four seats delegated for us. In the back of the space, the thrones sat, waiting for the royal family.
As we watched, the side door to the Great Room opened, and the king, the queen, and Maxon came in to applause and trumpeting fanfare. Once they were seated, a slower, more dignified melody started playing.
“There it is. Now, head high,” Silvia instructed. Elise gave me a pointed look and strode around the corner.
The music was dotted by the sound of hundreds of cameras taking her picture. It made for a strange rhythm section. She did great, though, as we could all see on the monitor Silvia was watching. Celeste followed, straightening her hair before she left. Kriss’s smile looked absolutely genuine and natural as she paraded down the aisle.