She looked up at me, arching her eyebrows. ‘Your heart’s beating fast,’ she whispered.
‘Oh yeah?’ I said quietly. ‘My hands are cold, too.’
I reached under her jumper and pressed my palms against her waist, feeling her flinch from the cold. I pressed harder, grinning, not letting her wriggle away. She smiled at me, moving closer, stroking my face with her fingers.
I wanted her so badly, I was almost paralysed with it. As my hands warmed up, I slid them round her back, running them up and down her bare skin. My hands were as hot as the rest of me now, but I could still feel her shivering under my fingers.
How horny was that?
‘Now whose heart’s beating fast?’ I murmured.
I brought my hands round to her front. She stared up at me, her breathing all ragged.
So I ripped off her clothes and . . .
Only joking. Unfortunately. What actually happened was that she glanced over at Alejandro in the front seat and pushed my hands away.
I nodded, reluctantly, to show I understood. Eve had never liked touching and stuff in front of other people.
OK. I can wait. I think.
I put my arm round her shoulders.
‘Tell me what happened,’ I said. ‘Tell me everything.’
Eve explained quickly how the convent school operated. It sounded like something out of the nineteenth century – all old-fashioned customs and strict discipline.
‘At first all I thought about was running away, getting back to you.’ Eve snuggled right up against me and laid her head on my chest. ‘It’s so awful there, Luke. I mean, some of the nuns are OK and the other girls are all right – but they’re all Spanish. A few speak quite good English, but there isn’t anyone I can talk to properly.’
‘So did you try?’ I said. ‘Running away, I mean?’
Eve nodded. ‘But the convent was in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where I was, just that it was miles from the nearest town. The nuns thought the internet was the work of El Diablo – the devil – so, no email.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I mean, for God’s sake. There was, like, one phone, practically guarded with dogs. And the post got taken out once a week – I tried to write to you, but my dad left instructions they were to check all my mail. It was like being in a prison camp.’
I kissed her head, taking in a long, deep breath of her apple-smelling hair. Outside the car, roads I didn’t recognise were flashing by.
‘Tell him about Christmas,’Alejandro said.
‘OK.’ Eve twisted her soft, slender fingers through mine.
‘After I’d been there, kicking against it all, for about two months – begging Mum to get me out – Dad started talking about me staying the whole year and I realised two things. If I was going to get away I’d have to make it happen myself. And I had to start acting like I was changing, so Dad would start trusting me a bit and let me come out of the school for Christmas. So I made that call to my mum – which he was listening to – saying I wanted you to forget all about me.’ She reached up and grazed my ear. ‘Which I didn’t mean at all,’ she whispered, her voice all low and raspy. ‘I missed you so much. I was so worried you’d just forget all about me.’
I squeezed her arm, massively turned on by her breath against my ear. ‘No chance,’ I murmured, kissing my way across her cheek.
‘Mierda! Guys!’ Alejandro glanced over his shoulder. ‘Christmas. Eva. Por dios.’
Eve sat back, smiling. ‘OK. Christmas. At first I thought Dad was going to leave me in the convent over the holidays. So I worked on him and worked on him. And in the end he agreed to let me come back to the hotel for a few days. But even there he made it really hard for me to talk to anyone or make calls, and I know he had that slag he’s sleeping with now – the head receptionist, remember? – he had her make sure all the staff were spying on me. But he’d told me Alejandro was coming round with his dad for this big meal on Boxing Day. So . . .’
‘So I arrived and there was Eva and she asked me to rescue her.’Alejandro looked at me in the rear-view mirror.
‘Why didn’t you call me?’ I gazed past Eve, out of the side window. We were speeding along a motorway now, distant houses rushing past.
Eve sighed. ‘I was worried you’d do something stupid like try and fly out to Mallorca. And I didn’t want Dad to have any idea what I was planning.’
‘Which was . . .?’ I said. I was struggling slightly with the feeling that it should have been me, not Alejandro, helping Eve.
Eve seemed to sense what I was thinking. She took my hand. ‘You don’t know how paranoid I felt. I couldn’t be sure Dad hadn’t bugged the phone. I really wouldn’t put it past him.’ Her voice shook. ‘And I knew that Alejandro had the money to get me out of the country. What could you have done from here?’
‘I know,’ I said, curling her fingers up in my hand.
‘So . . . I was supposed to play a gig on New Year’s Eve in Madrid,’ Alejandro said. ‘But I drove to La Bonita that morning . . . this morning.’
‘And, by then, I think Dad was really starting to believe I’d come round to staying at the convent school,’ Eve said. ‘So I waited till he was in a meeting, then got my passport out of his office.’
‘And I smuggled her out to the airport, bought her a ticket and here we are,’Alejandro added.
‘But you came too,’ I said. ‘You blew out your gig tonight?’
Alejandro shrugged. ‘What else could I do? I could no leave Eva on her own. Where was she going to go once she was here?’
‘You could have come to me,’ I said.
‘Your house is the first place my dad’s going to look for me,’ Eve said.
I frowned, the difficulty of the situation hitting me properly for the first time. ‘So, where are you . . . we . . . going?’ I said.
‘I have a friend. George. A musician. He lives in Cornwall,’Alejandro said.
‘Cornwall?’ I said. ‘But that’s miles away.’
‘It’s just for a while, Luke,’ Eve said, stroking my arm.
‘But then what?’ I said.
Eve shook her head. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘But I can’t go back to my mum. She’ll just do what my dad tells her. And I’m never going back to that school.’
I stared at her. ‘But . . . how? I mean . . . what . . .?’
‘God, Luke. I don’t know. I just know both my parents have let me down so badly that I . . . that I’m not sure I care if I ever see either of them again.’ Tears welled up in her eyes.
I hugged her, feeling deeply troubled.
‘Does your mum know where you are?’ I said.
Eve shook her head. ‘I called her from the airport to tell her not to worry. That I’d get in touch when I could.’ She wiped her eyes. ‘Hey,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘How’s your mum? Has she had the baby?’
I told her about Sam, impressing her with my nappy-changing and bottle-making abilities. Then I had a bit of a vent about how useless Matt was and then I filled her in about Ryan and Chloe.
By the time I’d finished answering all Eve’s questions it was nearly one am.
‘Hey, we missed Happy New Year,’Alejandro said.
‘I didn’t.’ Eve grinned. ‘I’m having it. Right now.’
I called and left a message for Mum at home, saying I was spending the night at Ryan’s and probably wouldn’t be back until late tomorrow. Then I called Ry to get him to cover for me. I had no intention of going home tomorrow, of course, but I decided I’d deal with one day at a time. Like Eve.
‘You know we will have to stop for the night.’Alejandro yawned. ‘I can’t drive for much longer. I was up really early to drive to La Bonita this morning.’
There were a number of hotels listed on the map Alejandro had bought from the car-hire company, but it took a while to find one with spare rooms. Everywhere was full of New Year’s Eve partygoers. By the time we found a place – a motel off the motorway in Somerset that the car hire guy had recommended – it was
nearly two am. Eve had started yawning as much as Alejandro.
‘I didn’t sleep much last night either,’ she told me. ‘I was too excited.’
I was so focused on getting her alone, that I actually opened my mouth to tell her not to plan on sleeping too much tonight either. Then it suddenly struck me that she might be assuming I’d share with Alejandro. After all, we had never spent the whole night on our own together before.
The double horror of this – not being with Eve while having to share a room with someone gay – filled my head as I watched Alejandro pay cash for two rooms. I was sure he and Eve hadn’t discussed the sleeping arrangements in the car. Maybe they’d talked about it earlier.
As we trudged upstairs I tried – and failed – to catch Eve’s eye.
Alejandro, clearly dead on his feet from tiredness, stopped halfway along the corridor. He muttered goodnight and stumbled inside the room to his left. The door shut behind him.
Yes. I slipped my arm round Eve’s waist as we walked a bit further along to our room.
Our room.
‘Can I share your toothbrush?’ I whispered as Eve turned the key and opened the door.
She smiled sexily at me. ‘You can share everything,’ she said.
The room was small and girly-pretty, dominated by the big, flowery-quilted bed against the far wall. Fluttery pink curtains were drawn open at the window. Eve went across and looked out, into the dark countryside around the hotel.
She shrugged off her jacket and raked back her hair, unaware of how intently I was watching her.
There was something different about her. I’d sensed it earlier, without realising it properly. Now, seeing her move around, it was obvious. Eve’d always had this deep-down sexiness, this natural way of moving like a cat. But now she seemed more sure of herself too. More confident.
She drew the curtains and turned around to face me. Her cheeks were a little pink. ‘Luke,’ she said slowly. ‘I’ve been thinking . . .’
‘What?’
She was so beautiful. So sexy. I couldn’t believe she was real. And here. With me. All night.
‘Before, I thought it might be weird seeing you after such a long time. I thought it might feel awkward. But it just felt right. Really natural. Didn’t it?’
I nodded. There was a long pause.
‘Anyway, I was thinking about how it used to be, before, with us, and I . . . I’ve realised I’ve changed.’
I stood rooted to the spot. What was she talking about?
How had she changed?
‘I don’t understand,’ I said.
Eve smiled. ‘I used to worry about what other people would think of me and . . . and I guess it just felt wrong but now . . . now it’s different. Before, I didn’t really want to. Now, I can’t see how I can stop myself. Or why I should. D’you see?’
I shook my head, fear threading like a worm through my head. ‘Eve, I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
She took a deep breath. ‘I’m just saying that I want to . . . I want to . . . you know . . . with you,’ she said. ‘I’m ready.’
My heart seemed to stop.
‘That is, if you want to,’ she grinned.
I stared at her, in total shock. Sex – full sex – had always been this kind of forbidden topic between us. Eve’s six months older than me and, when we met, her boyfriend Ben was pushing her to do it with him. At first I was just desperate to get her away from him, so I was always careful not to be pushy myself. Then, later, when I got all jealous over other guys lusting after her, I was too scared of her going off me to even talk to her about actually doing it. It was only in the last few days of our holiday that we’d come close. Really close, sometimes. But even so, she made it clear it wasn’t an option. I mean, maybe if we’d had more time . . .
‘You do want to, don’t you?’ Eve was now frowning at me.
A massive smile spread across my face. ‘God, yes. Yes.’
Eve smiled gently back, reaching out to hold my hands. ‘I thought about it a lot when I was in Spain. Losing my virginity is a really, really big deal to me. But then, so are you.’
I started kissing her, my heart racing.
‘Wait.’ Eve wriggled away from me and pulled off her trainers. She sat down on the bed. ‘There’s something I’ve got to ask you.’
‘What?’ I lay down beside her and ran my finger down her face.
Please let it be a quick something . . .
Eve bit her lip. ‘I just want to know if you went out with anyone while I was in Spain. I mean, I’d understand if you did, so you can be honest. I thought about that a lot too and though I hated the idea, I knew that I couldn’t blame you if you went on a date or something. Or even if you ended up kissing someone one evening.’ She looked away from me, at the flowery quilt on the bed. ‘I mean, I know after what I told Mum you must’ve thought I’d be away for a whole year . . . and I couldn’t expect you to stay in every night. And . . . well . . .’ She tailed off miserably.
My stomach twisted into a knot. I rolled away from her and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. There was no way I could tell her about Hayley. Not after her saying all that about how losing her virginity was such a big deal. If she sounded miserable at the thought of a date or a kiss . . .
No. I couldn’t say anything. It would really hurt her.
Not to mention drastically reduce the chances of us actually getting to have sex.
But how was I going to lie to her?
As Ryan had once put it, I was the world’s worst liar.
Eve’s face appeared above me. ‘OK, you’re scaring me, Luke. How many girls did you go out with?’
I stared up at her.
Be honest. Be absolutely, literally, honest.
‘None,’ I said. ‘Not one. I didn’t chat up a single girl. I didn’t ask a single girl out. I didn’t even see anyone who I wanted to talk to. Well, maybe I talked to a few – but only because Ryan forced me to.’ I stopped before I ran off track into a lie. I cupped Eve’s face in my hands. ‘I thought about you all the time,’ I said. ‘I missed you every single day.’
That was the truth and I could see her believing it, her pale blue eyes soft in the low light seeping in from the corridor outside the room.
We kissed. A long, agonisingly sexy kiss. I was only focused on where she’d said we were going. On what she’d said we could do. I wanted it so much it was almost unbearable. My hands ran down her jumper then tugged at her jeans, fumbling with the button.
But Eve just sighed and turned round, snuggling backwards into my arms. ‘Luke?’ she murmured.
‘Yes?’ I said, softly, reaching down with my hands again.
She yawned. ‘I feel so safe with you.’
I blinked, confused by this change of tack. ‘What?’ I said.
I could feel Eve’s whole body shudder as she yawned again. ‘I’m so tired now that . . . that . . .’ She reached out for my hand and pulled my arm right across her, like I was a blanket, tucking her in. ‘This feels like home,’ she murmured sleepily.
My arm was now resting tantalisingly under her chest. I hugged her, gently trying to pull my hand free. Then I felt her relax – her hand releasing mine, her whole body softening back into me and onto the mattress.
‘Eve?’ I whispered.
Please don’t fall asleep.
‘Eve?’ I peered round at her face. Too late. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was soft and even.
I groaned out loud. Don’t do this to me, Eve.
But she just lay there on top of the flowery quilt.
The frustration driving through me was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I wanted to thump something. Gritting my teeth I turned away and pounded at the pillow, then I sank down and stared longingly at Eve’s slender body. I could hear her breath getting deeper, taking her further and further away from me.
I think if it had been any other girl in the world I would have tried to shake her awake. Quite hard probably. But E
ve looked so vulnerable – all curled up on the bed. I was seized by this fierce need to look after her. To protect her from anything bad that might happen.
I wrapped my arms back around her and buried my face in her hair.
Nothing and no one are taking you away again. Ever.
8
Running away
I couldn’t work out what the noise was. Some kind of banging or thumping. Like a hammer on a plank of wood. It was dragging me up from a deep sleep, forcing me to notice it. Forcing me to wake up.
Where was I? I was dimly aware I was lying down, holding something. Someone. Eve. The memory of her, of everything that had happened flooded through me.
The thudding sound was louder now, but I wasn’t focusing on it at all. For a few semi-conscious seconds I lay there, wrapped round her, enjoying the sensation of not being able to work out where I ended, where she began.
And then I realised that the noise wasn’t going away. That someone was outside, banging on the door.
‘Luke. Eva. Get up.’ It was Alejandro. There was something desperate about his voice.
Eve stirred slightly, moving against me.
The thumping on the door started again.
Reluctantly I disentangled my arms from hers and staggered out of bed and across the room. It was still dark outside.
I pulled open the door. Alejandro was standing there, a look of total terror on his face, his bag in his hand.
‘Jonno,’ he hissed. ‘Here. Now. Downstairs. Come on.’
I stared at him, suddenly wide awake.
‘Here?’ I gasped.
Eve’s father’s here?
Alejandro gritted his teeth, barging past me into the room. He raced over to Eve on the bed and shook her roughly. ‘Get up.’ He picked up her trainers from the floor. ‘We can get out down the fire escape.’
Eve blinked sleepily up at him. ‘What?’
‘Your dad,’ I said, tugging on my jeans. ‘He’s here.’
Eve sat bolt upright, her eyes wide. ‘No. How . . .?’
I shoved her sweater into her arms. ‘Come on.’
As I turned round I met Alejandro’s eyes. ‘He’ll kill us,’ I said.