“No,” I said unwillingly.
She looked at me for a moment. “One might better ask how you manage to look so plump and pleased with yourself when according to reason you should be struggling on a small pension and wasting away.”
I could not hold back a choke of laughter at her gloomy vision of me. “I manage,” I said shortly. “But I should like to see my children at Hever now, if you would let me go for a visit.”
“Oh go,” she said, weary of the request. “But be back at Greenwich in time for Christmas.”
I went to the door quickly, before she could change her mind. “And tell Henry that he is to go to a tutor, he must be educated properly,” she said. “He can go later this year.”
I stopped, my hand on the door frame. “My boy?” I whispered.
“My boy,” she corrected me. “He can’t play for all his childhood, you know.”
“I thought…”
“I have arranged for him to study with Sir Francis Weston’s son and William Brereton’s. They’re learning well, I’m told. It’s time he was with boys of his own age.”
“I don’t want him with them,” I said instantly. “Not the sons of those two.”
She raised one dark eyebrow. “They are gentlemen of my court,” she reminded me. “Their sons will be courtiers too, they might be his courtiers one day. He should be with them. It is my decision.”
I wanted to scream at her but I pinched my fingertips and I kept my voice soft and sweet. “Anne. He’s only a little boy still. He is happy with his sister at Hever. If you want him educated I will stay there, I will educate him…”
“You!” she laughed. “As well ask the ducks on the moat to teach him to quack. No, Mary. I have decided. And the king agrees with me.”
“Anne…”
She leaned back and looked at me through slitted eyes. “I take it that you do want to see him at all this year? You don’t want me to send him to his tutor at once?”
“No!”
“Then go, sister. For I have taken my decision and you weary me.”
William watched me as I stormed up and down the confines of our narrow lodging-house room. “I’ll kill her,” I swore.
He had his back to the door, he checked that the casement window was shut against eavesdroppers.
“I’ll kill her! To put my boy, my precious boy, with the sons of those sodomites! To prepare him for a life at court! To order the Princess Mary to wait on Elizabeth and send my boy into exile in the same breath! She is mad to do this! She is insane with ambition. And my boy…my boy…”
My throat was too tight for words. My knees gave way beneath me, I laid my face on the covers of our bed and sobbed into them.
William did not move from his post at the door, he let me weep. He waited until I raised my head and wiped my wet cheeks with my fingers. Only then did he step forward and kneel on the floor near me so that I crawled, hands and knees, beaten down by my distress, into his arms. Then he held me gently and rocked me as if I were a baby myself.
“We’ll get him back,” he whispered into my hair. “We’ll have a wonderful time with him, we’ll send him off to his tutors, and then we’ll get him back. I promise it. We’ll fetch him back, sweetheart.”
Winter 1533
FOR HER NEW YEAR’S PRESENT TO THE KING ANNE COMMISSIONED a most extravagant gift. The goldsmiths brought it to the great hall and spent the morning setting it up. When they came to the queen’s apartments to tell her that she might come and see it Anne beckoned to George and to me and said we might come too.
We ran down the stairs to the great hall, Anne ahead of us, so that she could fling open the doors and see our faces. It was a most astounding sight: a fountain made of gold inlaid with diamonds and rubies. At the foot of the fountain were three naked women, also wrought of gold, and from their teats spouted springs of more water.
“My God,” said George, truly awed. “How much did it cost you?”
“Don’t ask,” Anne said. “It is very grand, isn’t it?”
“Grand.” I didn’t add: “But vilely ugly,” though I could tell from George’s stunned expression that he thought the same.
“I thought the ripple of the water would be soothing. Henry can have it in his presence chamber,” Anne said. She went closer to the edifice and touched it. “They have wrought it very fine.”
“Fertile women gushing water,” I said, looking at the three gleaming statues.
Anne smiled at me. “An omen,” she said. “A reminder. A wish.”
“Pray God a prediction,” George said grimly. “Any signs yet?”
“Not yet,” she said. “But it’s bound to happen soon.”
“Amen,” George and I said together, devout as Lutherans. “Amen.”
Our prayers were answered. Anne missed her time in January and then in February again. When the asparagus shoots showed in spring the queen ate them at every meal for they were known to make a boy. People started to wonder. No one knew for sure. Anne went around with a half-smile on her face and reveled in being the very center of attention once again.
Spring 1534
THE COURT’S PLANS FOR A SUMMER PROGRESS WERE DELAYED again while Anne, at the very center of the whirlpool of gossip, was well-pleased to sit serenely with her hand on her belly and let them all wonder. The place was alive with gossip. George, my mother, and I were pestered for news from the courtiers who wanted to know if she were indeed with child, and when she might be brought to bed. No one liked to be close to the plague-ridden streets of London in the hot weather; but the thought of the queen’s confinement and the opportunities for advancement that a solitary king might provide were a powerful draw.
We were to be at Hampton Court for the summer, as far as anyone knew, and a proposed trip to France to cement the treaty with Francis was postponed.
Our uncle called a family meeting in May but he did not summon Anne, she was far beyond his ordering now. However, driven by curiosity, she timed her arrival at his rooms to the very second, so that we were all seated and waiting when she entered the room. She hesitated in the doorway, perfectly poised, Uncle rose from his seat at the head of the table to fetch a chair for her, but the moment his place was vacant she walked grandly and slowly to the head of the table and seated herself without a word of thanks. I giggled, a tiny suppressed sound, and Anne flashed me a smile. There was nothing she loved more than the exercise of her power that had been bought at so high a price.
“I asked the family to meet together to discover what are your plans, Your Majesty,” my uncle said smoothly. “It would help me to know if you are indeed with child, and when you expect to be confined.”
Anne raised a dark eyebrow as if his question was an impertinence. “You ask that of me?”
“I was going to ask your sister or your mother, but since you are here I might as well ask you directly,” he said. He was not in the least overawed by Anne. He had served more frightening monarchs: Henry’s father and Henry himself. He had faced cavalry charges. Not even Anne at her most regal would frighten him.
“In September,” she said shortly.
“If it is another girl he will show his disappointment this time,” my uncle observed. “He has had trouble enough making Elizabeth his heir over Mary. The Tower is filled with men who refuse to deny Mary. And Thomas More and Fisher are certain to join them. If you had a boy then nobody would deny his rights.”
“It will be a boy,” Anne said positively.
Uncle smiled at her. “So we all hope. The king will take a woman when you are in your final months.” Although Anne raised her head to speak he would not be interrupted. “He always does, Anne. You must be calmer about these things, not rail at him.”
“I shall not tolerate it,” she said flatly.
“You will have to,” he said, as uncompromising as she was.
“He never looked away from me in all the years of our courtship,” she said. “Not once.”
George raised an eyebrow to me. I s
aid nothing. Apparently, I did not count.
My uncle gave a short laugh and I saw my father smile.
“Courtship is different. Anyway, I’ve chosen the girl to divert him,” my uncle said. “A Howard girl.”
I felt the sweat break out on me. I knew that I had gone white when George suddenly hissed: “Sit up!” out of the corner of his mouth.
“Who?” Anne said sharply.
“Madge Shelton,” Uncle said.
“Oh, Madge,” I said, my heart pounding with relief and my cheeks blazing as the color came rushing back. “That Howard girl.”
“She’ll keep him busy and she knows her place,” my father said judicially, not at all as if he were handing another niece over to adultery and sin.
“And your influence is undiminished,” Anne spat.
My uncle smiled. “That is true of course, but who would you rather? A Seymour girl? Given that it is a certainty, isn’t it best for us that it should be a girl who’ll do our bidding?”
“It depends on what you bid her,” Anne said shortly.
“To divert him while you are confined,” my uncle said smoothly. “Nothing else.”
“I won’t have her setting herself up as his mistress, I won’t have her in the best rooms, wearing jewels, in new gowns, flaunting herself around me,” Anne warned.
“Yes, you of all women would know how painful that can be for a good wife,” my uncle concurred.
Anne’s dark eyes flashed at him. He smiled. “She shall divert the king during your confinement, and when you are back at court she will disappear,” he promised. “I shall see that she makes a good marriage and Henry will forget her as easily as he takes her up.”
Anne drummed her fingers on the table. We could all see that she was fighting with herself. “I wish I could trust you, Uncle.”
“I wish you would.” He smiled at her unwillingness. He turned to me and I felt the familiar tremor of fear at his attention. “Madge Shelton beds with you, doesn’t she?”
“Yes, Uncle,” I said.
“Tell her how to go along, tell her how to manage herself.” He turned to George. “And you keep the king’s attention on Anne and on Madge.”
“Yes, sir,” George said easily, as if he had never wished for any career other than that of a pander in the royal harem.
“Good,” Uncle said, rising to his feet to signal that the meeting was at an end. “Oh, and one other thing…” We all obediently waited on his word, except Anne, who was looking out of the window at the gardens in the sunshine and the court playing bowls, with the king at the center of all the attention, as always.
“Mary,” Uncle remarked.
I flinched at the mention of my name.
“I think we should have her married, don’t you?”
“I’d be pleased to see her betrothed before her sister is brought to bed,” my father remarked. “That way there’s no uncertainty if Anne fails.”
They did not look at Anne, who might be pregnant with a girl and thus diminish our bartering strength in the marriage market. They did not look at me, who was to be traded like a farmer’s cow. They looked at each other, merchants with a deal to make.
“Very well,” our uncle said. “I’ll speak to Secretary Cromwell, it’s time she was wed.”
I got away from Anne and George, and found my way to the king’s rooms. William was not in the presence chamber and I dared not go looking for him in the privy chamber. A young man strolled by with a lute, Sir Francis Weston’s musician, Mark Smeaton. “Have you seen Sir William Stafford?” I asked him.
He made a pretty bow to me. “Yes, Lady Carey,” he said. “He’s still playing at bowls.”
I nodded and went toward the great hall. As soon as I was out of his sight I took one of the little doors that led out to the broad terrace before the palace and then down the stone steps to the garden. William was picking up the balls, the game had ended. He turned and smiled at me. The other players hailed me and challenged me to a game.
“Oh, very well,” I said. “What are the stakes?”
“A shilling a game,” William said. “You have fallen among desperate gamblers, Lady Carey.”
I felt in my purse and put down my shilling and then took a ball and rolled it carefully along the grass. It was nowhere near. I stepped back to make a place for another player and found William at my elbow.
“All well?” he asked quietly.
“Well enough,” I said. “But I have to be alone with you as soon as we can.”
“Oh, I feel it myself,” he said with a laugh at the back of his voice. “But I didn’t know you were so shameless.”
“Not for that!” I said indignantly and then had to stop and look away before anyone could see me laugh and blush. I longed to touch him, I could hardly stand beside him and not reach out for him. I took a careful step away from him as if to see the game more clearly.
I was knocked out early on, and William took care to lose soon after. We left our shillings on the green for the eventual winner and strolled, as if to take the air, down the long gravel path toward the river. The windows of the palace overlooked the garden, I did not dare touch him or let him take my arm. We walked side by side, like courteous strangers. Only when I stepped up to the landing stage could he touch my elbow, as if to hold me steady, and then he kept hold of me. That simple contact of his hand on my arm warmed me all through.
“What is it?” he asked.
“It’s my uncle. He’s planning my marriage.”
At once his face was dark. “Soon? Does he have a husband in mind?”
“No. They’re considering.”
“Then we must be ready for when they find someone. And when they do we must just confess, and hope to brazen it out.”
“Yes.” I paused for a moment, glanced at his profile and back to the river. “He frightens me,” I said. “When he said he wanted to see me married, in that moment I thought that I would have to obey him. I always have obeyed him, you see. Everybody always obeys him. Even Anne.”
“Don’t look like that my love, or I will take you in my arms in full view of the whole palace. I swear to you that you are mine and I will let no one take you from me. You are mine. I am yours. No one can deny that.”
“They took Henry Percy from Anne,” I said. “And she was as much married as us.”
“He was a young lad,” William said. “No man comes between me and mine.” He paused for a moment. “But we may have to pay for it. Would Anne stand your friend? If we have her support then we are safe.”
“She won’t be pleased,” I said, knowing full well the intense concentrated selfishness of my sister. “But it doesn’t hurt her.”
“Then we wait until we are cornered, and then we confess,” he said. “And in the meantime we will be as charming as we can be.”
I laughed, “To the king?” thinking he meant to deploy courtier’s skills.
“To each other,” he said. “Who matters the most to me in the whole world?”
“Me,” I said with quiet joy. “And you for me.”
We spent the night in each other’s arms in the room of a little inn. When I woke and turned to him he was already moving toward me. We fell asleep wrapped in each other as if we could not bear to part, even in sleep we could not bear to let each other go. When I woke in the morning he was still on top of me, still inside me, and when I moved underneath him I felt him stir with desire for me again. I closed my eyes and let myself drift away while he loved me until the early morning sun came brightly through the shutters and the noise from the courtyard downstairs warned us that we should get back to the palace.
He came up the river with me in a little wherry, and left me at the landing stage so that he could disembark further downriver and stroll home half an hour behind me. I thought I would get in by the garden door and creep up to my room in time to appear for morning Mass but when I got to my door George appeared from nowhere and said: “Thank God you’re back, another hour or two and everyone wo
uld have known.”
“What is it?” I asked quickly.
His face was grim. “Anne’s taken to her bed.”
“I’ll go to her,” I said and ran quickly down the corridor. I knocked at the door to Anne’s bedroom and put my head inside. She was quite alone in the imposing chamber, white and wan on the bed.
“Oh you,” she said unpleasantly. “You might as well come in.”
I stepped into the room and George shut the door firmly behind us. “What’s the matter?” I asked.
“I’m bleeding,” she said shortly. “And I’ve got gripping pains, like the pains of childbirth. I think I’m losing it.”
The blank horror of her words was too much for me to take in. I was powerfully aware of my disheveled hair and the scent of William on every inch of my skin. The contrast between last night’s loving and this dawning disaster was too much for me. I turned to George.
“We should get a midwife,” I said.
“No!” Anne hissed like a snake. “Don’t you see? If we call in that crowd, we tell the world. At the moment no one knows for sure whether I am with child or not; it’s all rumor. I can’t risk them knowing I lost it.”
“This is wrong,” I said flatly to George. “This is a baby we are talking about here. We can’t let a baby die for fear of scandal. Let’s move her to a back room, a little room, nothing fine. And cover her face, and draw the curtains. I’ll get a midwife and tell her it’s a maid at court. Nobody important.”
George hesitated. “If it’s a girl it’s not worth the risk,” he said. “If it’s another girl, it’d be better dead.”
“For God’s sake, George! This is a baby. This is a soul. This is our kith and kin. Of course we should save her if we can.”
His face was hard, for a moment he did not look like my beloved brother at all, he looked like one of the iron-featured men at court who would sign the death warrant for anyone, provided that they were themselves secure.