She nods, appreciating it. “That’s some beautiful stuff from a drunk.”
“Drunks have always written the best poetry.”
“So they’re your favorite lines, then?”
I press my lips to her forehead. “My dear baby blue. Both of those quotes are about you.” I pause while she looks shocked. “Hey, see I’m a poet too.”
“Me?” she asks. The look on her face is adorably priceless. I had never planned on telling her the truth but now that I have, it feels impossibly free. Much like her soul.
“You,” I tell her. “As I said, you’ve bewitched me for a long time.”
She purses her lips. “I think I liked it better when you were being cheesy.” But I can see in her eyes, this is sobering to her, in the best way possible.
“Bring your soul over here,” I tell her and pull her into me. Within moments, we fall asleep. I know I have a smile on my face.
***
A few hours later, once we’ve woken up again and ended up in the shower for quite some time (nothing like a little shower sex to get your day going), we’re finally making breakfast.
Well, actually I’m making it for her – scrambled eggs in truffle oil. Trust me it’s divine. I place the plate in front of her with a little flourish and make her a fresh espresso from my machine.
“That must have cost a fortune,” she says as she eyes the gilded machine. She takes a sip and sighs. “Tastes like a fortune too.”
The espresso machine was actually a gift from my parents. They tend to give me a lot of things that say a lot without really saying thing at all. The espresso machine said, “Here, this cost a lot of money, I hope this makes up for the fact that we never called you once last year.” You know, things like that.
“It did,” I tell her. “I hope it would help get me lucky. Guess it worked.”
She narrows her eyes at me playfully. “You’re a pig.”
“You’ve called me that before.”
“If the shoe fits.”
“Pigs don’t wear shoes.”
“They do on cartoons,” she points out. She takes a bite of her eggs and closes her eyes. It’s almost like watching her O-face all over again. “Oh my god. These are the best eggs I’ve ever had.”
“Only the best from the best,” I tell her.
“Don’t tell me you laid these.”
“I can tell you what got laid and it wasn’t those eggs.”
She looks to the ceiling and shakes her head. “Such a cheeseball.”
She’s kind of right about that, I just hoped she wouldn’t catch on so fast.
After we’re done eating, we settle on the couch as we usually do. But instead of her sitting on one end and me on the other, this time I’m able to pull her on top of me and molest her constantly. I’m not really sure what the record is for number of times one can have sex in a day, but this damn woman is nearly breaking me.
When she’s finished riding me and we’re satisfied for now, we flip through the channels on TV without any real purpose. It’s Sunday and there’s nothing on.
“It’s kind of ironic that there is never anything on Sundays when that’s the day you’d actually be home watching TV.”
She shrugs. “I guess. To be honest, I’m not really sure what Sundays are anymore.”
“But you get them off.”
“Yes,” she says with a pert smile on her lips. “And I get off on them.”
“Clever.”
“But no, most Sundays I’m going up to Petaluma to see my mom. Or I’m working on stuff for the store. I’m still feeling guilty about closing the shop last weekend.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” I tell her, “but I would much rather you feel guilty about that last Saturday and not about us.”
Her face softens slightly. “Oh. No. Linden. I don’t feel guilty about that. It was a dare.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“But that’s what it was to everyone else. I just feel bad that it took me so long to, I don’t know, take a chance I guess. And of course I feel bad for stringing Aaron along.”
I sit up straighter. “But you weren’t stringing him along. You liked him.”
She nods. “You’re right. I did. And in the end, I made the right choice. No doubt. He’s happy doing whatever. I’m happy doing you. But, I mean, I still feel a little bit bad. Don’t you over Nadine?”
Ugh. It’s like you can ignore that shit for so long but once you’re reminded of it, it cuts deep.
“Yeah, I do feel bad,” I tell her. “And I admit I was completely selfish about all of this because I wanted you Steph and that’s all I could think about. But what was I supposed to do? The fact that I realized how I felt about you…I knew I couldn’t be with her any longer. I couldn’t live a lie. I might have been in denial with her for a long time but as soon as I woke up, I knew I had to end it. I know plenty of people stay in relationships out of convenience or they’re afraid of being the bad guy or they’re just too bloody lazy. But the moment I knew the truth, I was out of there. It sucked for Nadine and I am sure I’m going to be in a world of hurt tomorrow when I go into work but I still stand by what I did. She can hate me all she wants, and she will, but she would hate me more if I stayed with her because I felt I had to, not because I actually wanted to.”
“You don’t have to explain to me,” she says. “I understand. I was there. I just went through that.”
I sigh, feeling all worked up inside. “I know. I just know I’ve got a lot of people pointing their finger at me right now and it doesn’t feel good.”
“Because they don’t understand. Because it looks bad.”
“But it’s not bad. How can anything involving you be bad?”
“Because those people don’t know me and they don’t really know you either. And some people live in denial. Some people think it’s noble to settle. But you’re not some people, Linden. You’re not even most people. You’re you. And, I’ve got to say, I’m having no complaints from this department.”
It feels so damn nice to have someone who has your back.
“You know what I’m going to do for you today?”
She purses her lips. “I dunno. I think you’ve done more than enough for me already.”
“I’m taking you into the sky.”
“The sky?”
I point up. “Helicopter. Me. You. Now.”
“Okay, caveman. Remember the last time you tried to take me up there on short notice?”
I nod. “Yes. But that was then and this is now. I know a guy who will let me take his chopper for an hour or two.”
She snorts. “You know a guy,” she repeats back slowly, “who owns a helicopter, who will just let you take it.”
“Yes. His name is Daryl.”
She stares at me for a few beats and then shrugs. “All right then.”
It’s true that I know a guy named Daryl who owns a helicopter. I’m not entirely sure if he’ll let me take it but I’ve been doing a lot of work for him lately, flying around photographers when he’s been too booked up, and I think I can strike a bargain with him.
I excuse myself and go into the bedroom to call him. Ten minutes later, after I’ve promised to do some work for free on my days off, he says I’ve got the chopper.
An hour after that, we’re in San Rafael and we’re taking off.
Stephanie looks absolutely giddy and extremely cute with her giant headphones on. I slip on my aviator shades and for the first time in a long time, I feel absolutely cool. You’d think that flying helicopters would be the most consistently cool and interesting job in the world, and it kind of is. Except when you’ve been doing it nearly every day for years. Then it just becomes a job. I’d assume commercial airline pilots probably feel the same way.
Watching Stephanie beside me as we lift off is like seeing it all from her eyes, like flying for the first time. I know she’s been with me a few times before, but this time it’s different. It’s for us. And she makes me feel like
I’m the cock of the walk.
Speaking of cock…
After I zip us around Point Reyes and as far as Mendocino, pointing out where we were on the coast just last weekend, I give her a suggestive look and unzip my fly.
“Linden,” she says through the microphone. “What are you doing?”
“C&C baby,” I tell her with a huge grin. “Told you this would happen one day.”
“Are you serious?”
I nod. But the minute she puts her hand on my dick, groping the hard contours through my jeans, I realize there is no way in hell this could happen without us both dying in a horrific accident.
I clench my jaw, so completely turned-on, but somehow have the strength to say, “You know what, on second thought…”
She smiles at me and removes her hand. “That’s what I thought.”
“You render me useless with your tongue, you know,” I tell her.
She just continues smiling, pleased with herself.
But when I land the chopper back down at Daryl’s compound, all bets are off. There’s no one around at this exact moment and I know this won’t take long.
“Get in the backseat,” I tell her as the rotors slowly whir to a still.
She gives me an incredulous look but, what a fucking trooper this girl is, she gets in the back.
It’s not quite cock in the cockpit but it’s close enough. As soon as I sit down, she’s crawling on top of me, shaking that ass of hers in the air and stroking me through my jeans. I’ve pretty much been hard the entire time I’ve been flying. When I go to unzip my pants though, she slaps my hand away with a wicked look on her face.
“I don’t think so,” she says. “I want to see just how turned on I can make you.”
“Oh, baby blue, you can make me unbearably, painfully turned on. It’s fucking torture.”
“Good,” she says, grabbing me harder. I buck against the fabric, aching for more. She rubs my length, squeezing at the right spots and says, “I can feel your heat.”
“You’ll feel it better if you put me in your mouth.”
Finally, after what seems like an agonizing eternity, she slowly undoes the zipper and pulls me out. My cock is as stiff as cement and dark from all the blood flow. She smiles at the precum on the tip and uses it to lubricate her hand as she slides it slickly along my length.
I gasp, feeling very much like a kid in high school. I’m high on adrenaline from the flight and too turned on to keep it together for much longer. I have a feeling once I’m in her wet mouth, I’m going to come immediately. I’m probably not going to feel ashamed about it.
“Look, I don’t want to come in your eye or anything,” I warn her, breathless, “so if you’re going to do something you better do it now.
“You have such a perfect dick,” she says as I lean back and close my eyes, my body tensing as I try to restrain myself. “I could write a song about it.”
“Could you write about it and suck me off at the same time?”
Then I feel her lips wrap around the tip and suddenly I’m fully inside her wet, wet mouth.
I’m coming before she gets more than a few strokes in, gripping the leather seats in the back of the chopper and hissing, “Fuck, fuck, oh baby, so good,” under my breath.
She pulls away – swallows politely – and then grins. “That was for the helicopter ride,” she says smoothly.
I groan as I try to sit back up, my dick still throbbing. “Duly noted. Take Steph up in the air every chance you get.”
She slowly wipes her mouth with her fingers. “Actually, you don’t have to take me anywhere.”
“When did I get so lucky again?”
“When you accepted a dare.”
I grin at her. “Best decision I ever made.”
Afterward I drive her home. When I drop her off, it’s bittersweet. I like the idea that I’m dropping her off, what it means, like we’ve had our first date or something. But I hate the fact that I won’t see her for a bit.
“I wish you didn’t have to work so much,” I tell her while the Jeep purrs at the curbside.
“Well, you work too,” she points out.
I sigh inwardly. Yes. I do. With Nadine. That will not be fun. “But I work a few hours a day. Sometimes more, but you’re breaking your back for this business, day in and day out. I worry about you, you know.”
She smiles sweetly. “Don’t worry. And it’s hard right now, that’s all. It will get better. I just need the right employee.”
“Ever think about opening an online store? It might be a bit easier.”
She nods. “Sometimes. But things are so new still, I’m just not confident enough.”
“Well if you ever need any kind of help with it, I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“I mean it. And not just financially, you know if you need an extra loan or something. I just mean…I’ll help you plan, I’ll help you dream. I’m here for you.”
She gives me a quick smile. “Thanks Linden.” And then she kisses me, soft and light, before she jumps out the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she says.
“You better,” I warn and then she shuts the door and walks away. Shit, do I love to watch her go. I wait until I see she’s safe inside her building before I drive away.
I think I just had one of the best days of my life.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
STEPHANIE
It’s been three weeks since Linden and I first slept together.
It’s probably been the best three weeks of my life. Even the drop in business because of the shit November weather hasn’t even entered my headspace.
Linden is all I think about. Linden is all I do.
Of course I go to work every day, trying even harder now to hire the right person for the shop. Let me tell you, hiring has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. I naively thought it would be easy. If the person has a great resume, then they’ll be a great fit.
But then of course you have to interview them and that’s when you find out that most of the people sending you their applications are absolute boneheads. One girl said she wanted to work here because she likes clothes and shopping and this way she can do both. Another person admitted that she had shoplifted once at a previous workplace but she was “over that phase” now and I shouldn’t have to worry about her.
So that whole thing has been stressful. And I guess hiding our new, uh, relationship from everyone has been a bit taxing too.
Sometimes I question if we’re doing what’s right. I feel guilty over the slightest things, so the fact that the both of us often have to lie to James, even though they are harmless white lies about where we were last night and what we’ve been up to, it feels so terribly wrong. I don’t like lying to my friends.
But I admit, I like sleeping with Linden more.
In fact, the whole thing has turned addicting, in a serious, dangerous and very real way. When I say that Linden is all I think about and do, that’s one hundred per cent true.
In some ways it feels like we are making up for a lot of lost time and I guess we are. But it’s also just the ease of the whole thing. Fucking him is just so easy, it’s as natural, as needed, as breathing, sleeping and eating. I’ve never in my life felt so completely attached to someone in such a physical way.
And the thing that I don’t want to admit to anyone, not even myself at times, is that it’s so much more than fucking. It isn’t just sex, no matter how badly I want to pretend it is. We aren’t friends with benefits, we are friends with something most people die without knowing. At times I want to say we are making love, because as dirty and filthy as Linden can be, as rough and hard as we go at it, there is an alarming current of intimacy and tenderness in everything we do.
Of course, I’ve always loved Linden, just like I love many of my friends. But that love with him is turning into something else, something deeper, better, brighter. There’s another layer to my love for him and it gets uncovered more and more every single day. It’s l
ike opening a Christmas present you’ve always wanted and finding out there’s something better underneath.
And it stems from the heart, not just the loins. My heart these days feels like a sponge that’s just absorbing and absorbing and absorbing until it’s leaking into me and tainting my blood with a sticky kind of joy.
Linden is my thoughts, my air, my earth. Linden is starting to become more than everything to me.
I might be going a little bit crazy but I’m pretty sure that’s what someone might call falling in love.
A fall into madness.
Splat.
That’s going to be me.
It’s Thursday afternoon and I’ve just finished an interview with a girl who seems a little customer shy, but might end up being my only option, when there is a knock at the door. I had locked it and put on the CLOSED sign during the interview so that I could conduct it in peace.
It’s Linden, which is a complete surprise. He’d been flying transport for this mega ranch down south all day, taking advantage of the short daylight hours as much as he could. I didn’t expect to see him until tonight. He had mentioned taking me to an expensive, trendy restaurant somewhere in my neighborhood that had classic films playing in it.
I give him a quick wave and I can’t help the cheek-splitting smile on my face. I hope I look and smell okay but it’s too late to do a sniff test.
The girl I interviewed is looking at him with big, flirtatious eyes. Back off honey, I feel like telling her. You don’t have the job yet.
We walk over to the door and I tell her I’ll give her a call soon. I know she wants to hear more than that but all I can concentrate on is the man on the other side.
My lord, is he ever handsome.
I open the door and welcome him in. “Isn’t this a nice surprise,” I say to him as the girl brushes past us. He doesn’t even look in her direction, which I appreciate considering his reputation. His eyes are just for me.
“Hey baby,” he croons as he steps inside and he puts his hands on either side of my face. They are cold to my warm cheeks and it braces me. I’m also trying to adjust to the fact that lately he’s been calling me baby more than he’s been calling me baby blue.