SCENE IV.
_Justice’s Study_—_the Justice is writing_.
_Old M._ Well!—I shall have but few days’ more misery in this world!
_Just._ (_looks up_). Why! why—why then, why will you be so positive topersist in a lie? Take the money and leave the box! Obstinateblockhead! Here, William (_showing the committal_), take this oldgentleman to Holdfast, the constable, and give him this warrant.
_Enter_ LUCY, _running_, _out of breath_.
_Lucy_. I’ve found it! I’ve found it! Here, old man; here’s yourmoney—here it is all—a guinea and a half, and a shilling and a sixpence,just as he said, papa.
_Enter_ LANDLADY.
_Land._ Oh la! your worship, did you ever hear the like?
_Just._ I’ve heard nothing yet that I can understand. First, have yousecured the thief, I say?
_Lucy_ (_makes signs to the landlady to be silent_). Yes, yes, yes!—wehave him safe—we have him prisoner. Shall he come in, papa?
_Just._ Yes, child, by all means; and now I shall hear what possessedhim to leave the box. I don’t understand—there’s something deep in allthis; I don’t understand it. Now I do desire, Mrs. Landlady, nobody mayspeak a single word whilst I am cross-examining the thief.
(_Landlady puts her finger upon her lips_—_Everybody looks eagerly towards the door_.)
_Re-enter_ LUCY, _with a huge wicker cage in her hand_, _containing amagpie_—_The Justice drops the committal out of his hand_.
_Just._ Hey!—what, Mrs. Landlady—the old magpie? hey?
_Land._ Ay, your worship, my old magpie. Who’d have thought it? Misswas very clever; it was she caught the thief. Miss was very clever.
_Old M._ Very good! very good!
_Just._ Ay, darling, her father’s own child! How was it, child? Caughtthe thief, _with the mainour_, hey? Tell us all; I will hear all—that’spoz!
_Lucy_. Oh! then first I must tell you how I came to suspect Mr. Magpie.Do you remember, papa, that day last summer, when I went with you to thebowling-green, at the “Saracen’s Head”?
_Land._ Oh, of all days in the year! but I ask pardon, miss.
_Lucy_. Well, that day I heard my uncle and another gentleman tellingstories of magpies hiding money; and they laid a wager about this oldmagpie and they tried him—they put a shilling upon the table, and he ranaway with it, and hid it; so I thought that he might do so again, youknow, this time.
_Just._ Right, right. It’s a pity, child, you are not upon the Bench;ha! ha! ha!
_Lucy_. And when I went to his old hiding place, there it was; but yousee, papa, he did not take the box.
_Just._ No, no, no! because the thief was a magpie. No _man_ would havetaken the money and left the box. You see I was right; no _man_ wouldhave left the box, hey?
_Lucy_. Certainly not, I suppose; but I’m so very glad, old man, thatyou have obtained your money.
_Just._ Well then, child, here—take my purse, and add that to it. Wewere a little too hasty with the committal—hey?
_Land._ Ay, and I fear I was, too; but when one is touched about thecredit of one’s house, one’s apt to speak warmly.
_Old M._ Oh, I’m the happiest old man alive! You are all convinced thatI told you no lies. Say no more—say no more. I am the happiest man!Miss, you have made me the happiest man alive! Bless you for it!
_Land._ Well now, I’ll tell you what. I know what I think—you must keepthat there magpie, and make a show of him, and I warrant he’ll bring youmany an honest penny; for it’s a _true story_, and folks would like tohear it, I hopes—
_Just._ (_eagerly_). And, friend, do you hear? you’ll dine here to-day,you’ll dine here. We have some excellent ale. I will have you drink myhealth—that’s poz!—hey? You’ll drink my health, won’t you—hey?
_Old M._ (_bows_). Oh! and the young lady’s, if you please.
_Just._ Ay, ay, drink her health—she deserves it. Ay, drink mydarling’s health.
_Land._ And please your worship, it’s the right time, I believe, tospeak of the goose-pie now; and a charming pie it is, and it’s on thetable.
_Will._ And Mr. Smack, the curate, and Squire Solid, and the doctor,sir, are come, and dinner is upon the table.
_Just._ Then let us say no more; but do justice immediately to thegoose-pie; and, darling, put me in mind to tell this story after dinner.
(_After they go out_, _the Justice stops_.)
“Tell this story”—I don’t know whether it tells well for me; but I’llnever be positive any more—_that’s poz_!