than this. Or I should.
I have finally found a new home, for the time being. I passed it by several times in my search, but I have finally settled back here. I was hoping for another suitable place, but this is the safest, even though I have neighbors. Neighbors I certainly don't want. A boy and a young woman. I fear they must be the same two who killed David. Fate would be so cruel.
There is a home between us, but I hardly think that is enough of a barrier between myself and Death. It seems I won't escape, no matter how hard I try to escape. Or perhaps I am simply reading too much into all of this. It is coincidence. There are only so many homes, and I am sure several of them have been compromised during this competition. We are bound to find one another at some point. Yes, we can all pretend that there are no walls, but they are there, and they hold us here. We will meet. It is simply the way things are, and I have found myself once more in the company of murderers.
If we are bound by some sort of fate or destiny, I am glad I left. More than glad. If we would have met no matter what, I would rather we meet here than put Craig or anyone else in danger for the sake of my fate.
I throw up every day, now. I tell myself it's from nerves, which is possible. It is likely part of the issue. But not entirely. I know that. I am unwell, and have been for some time. I struggle to keep food in my stomach.
So it's not a question of if I shall survive, but rather what will kill me. Will it be the boy? The woman? Or myself? I find I no longer contemplate suicide. At first, it seemed a good thing. But now I wonder if it is not simply my body signaling how close to death I truly stand.
ENTRY END
WHO IS GOING TO WIN THE PARK?
POLL 3
1: Justice (20%)
2: Rita (15%)
3: Blake (13%)
4: Christina (12%)
5: Craig (11%)
6: Julia (9%)
7: Manfred (8%)
8: Susan (7%)
9: Tina (2%)
10: David (1%)
11: Desiree (1%)
12: Nathan (1%)
(Information Collected by The Cruise)
JOURNAL 04JUSTICE
ENTRY 010
DATE: 5/1/2074
I'm fucking exhausted. I just can't manage to make myself sleep anymore. It seems like I pop back up as soon as I close my fucking eyes. My arms and legs are always sore, which just makes everything that much fucking harder.
I know why I can't sleep, and I know what I need to do to make it better. I just… I just don't think I fucking can, still. I'm watching and I'm waiting for the right time, but the right time's come three dozen fucking times over and I still just stalk around her house. I see her moving, I see straight in there when the curtains are drawn.
That bitch in the business suit, she has to pay. And she will. I already swore that. It's just… it's a lot fucking harder than they make it look in the movies and on TV and shit. If I could do it without looking, maybe. But I might miss. And I'm not willing to do that. Sure, it would give one of them a chance to kill me first, but that's not the real problem. No, I just don't want the death to spread any further than it has to. This is between the two of us. No one else needs to be caught in the fucking crossfire. One death. Then, as far as I'm concerned, I can fucking drop dead right there. Just so long as I know I've done my duty for Desiree. Let her lady take me down, then.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 06RITA
ENTRY 008
DATE: 5/2/2074
Well, well, it's been a while, hasn't it Evenstad? I didn't mean to leave you like this for so long. I'm sure you've missed hearing from me. But, of course, you can just watch your little recordings and find out what I'm up to. I'm sure you do that with all of us anyway. And I'm sure you've seen the little gift Blake gave me. I didn’t even solicit that from him. He just wanted to give it to me to try and keep me safe. Which is just so sweet. I couldn't very well tell him that I was well armed enough anyway, could I? It would have crushed his poor little heart.
It might come in handy, though. We just got a new neighbor. I haven't told Blake about it yet. I might not. It's an old guy. Probably not a threat. I've been keeping an eye on him, though. And I hardly need to point out how it's probably keeping your viewers interested. We've already pretty well established how wonderful I must be for ratings. But damn it if I don't just love reminding you.
If he gets in the way, I'll see if I can't get Blake to help me out. Since he's so much better at all of this than I am. I've never hurt anyone, after all. Just ask me. I'll tell you.
We're into the fifth month of this, you know. I've had relationships that didn't last half this long. I bet you feel pretty special, don't you? If not, you should. Sure, you locked me into a fucking box and surrounded me with armed guards, but I stuck around. Good use of your skills, though. If I didn't think you were the lowest scum on Earth, I might consider taking this to the next level.
But for now, go fuck yourself.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 02CHRISTINA
ENTRY 011
DATE: 5/2/2074
Maybe it is me. It's got to be at this point. It's not just the big black guy I'm seeing. And it's not just outside, either. They're in here with me. And they're not friendly. Not that I thought the big guy was, but these are worse. They aren't here now, thank God, but I know they aren't far. In the kitchen. Under the bed. I sound like some little kid, waiting for Mommy to check the closet.
That's why I know something's not right. And that's why I told Julia. She just smiled and held me, but I know what she's thinking. No, fuck it, that's bullshit. I know what I would be thinking. What I was thinking when I saw Julia breaking. It wasn't anything bad. I just wanted to make it better. I know that's all she wants.
But she can't make it better. I know that. And I think she does, too. It sucks. I'm just scared, all the time. Even more than I was before. Hell, I'm halfway looking forward to seeing that big black guy skulking around outside. At least he's the nicest one of them I see. And he doesn't have horns, or extra arms, or red eyes. He's a person, real or not. At least I know what I can probably expect from him.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 03BLAKE
ENTRY 007
DATE: 5/2/2074
I've been starting to get some weird feelings about this whole thing with Rita. She keeps wandering off by herself. At first, yeah, I was just worried because I know she doesn't want to kill anyone if she can help it. Who does? But she's acting all secretive and stuff when she comes back. She won't tell me anything about it, and I just can't help but think that it's not nothing, like she keeps saying. She's hiding something from me. I don't want to believe that. I really, really don't want to believe that. But how can I not think it's true? I mean, eventually one of us is going to end up dead, and I'm pretty sure that her plan is for that one to not be her. Which means that somewhere in this whole plan, she knows she might have to kill me. So I should get on board with that, too. If I'm walking out of here, it's pretty possible that I'm going to have to get rid of Rita.
God damn it, this all sucks ass. Big, hairy ass. She's been nothing but nice to me. She's kept me sane and kept my head straight through this whole game, right from the first second I met her. I don't know, I probably would have broken down and either killed myself or done something stupid to get myself killed if she hadn't talked me down after I took care of that first guy. But I just can't shake this stupid suspicion that something's not right. Like, at all. Something really deep down in this whole thing is rotten, but I don't know what. Maybe it's not even Rita, and I'm just putting everything on her because she's an easy target. Fuck, maybe being stuck in here for month after month without any light is starting to get to me. That's a thing that happens, right? We need sunlight to stay happy. That's what Mom always told me. I hated hearing it. It meant I had to go outside. But maybe she was
right.
God, I miss her. And Dad. If I get out of here with the money, I'm going to pay everything off for them. The house, the cars, everything. And we can go on a big vacation with everything that's left over. They deserve that. Of course, if I win, I might not.
ENTRY END
US AIRCRAFT SIGHTED OVER EGYPT
5/6/2074 at 11:19 a.m. EST
Early this morning, three US military drones were supposedly spotted on a flight path over Giza, Egypt. While the actual designation of the aircraft is not confirmed, several members of the Egyptian military believe that the airplanes were on an intelligence gathering mission. The US military has denied comment on the incident.
According to civilians who witnessed the event, the aircraft were visible for several hours. Information will be released as it is made available to us here at The Cruise.
JOURNAL 07JULIA
ENTRY 008
DATE: 5/7/2074
I screwed up. I never should have taken Christina outside like that. It didn't help her at all. Now she's seeing demons around here. I just… I think I might take away her medallion. She's been stable enough up until now, but I can't count on that forever. She could hurt me, or hurt herself. Get us found. Too many horrible things could happen if she had a break of some kind. I feel so guilty even considering it, but it's true. I don't want to get hurt, but I really don't want her to get hurt. I don't know quite what to do about it. I'm just going to have to wait before I make any big decisions like that. I trust her, but I know it's not quite her in there right now.
I hate this whole place for what it's done to her. I've only had Christina in my