“You hit the nail on the head right there, Pax,” Colin said. Paxton and Willa both turned to him with similar expressions of exasperation.
“You don’t like that this place defines you?” Paxton asked.
Colin shrugged. “I’m not the Stick Man anymore.”
“And yet you still want to believe I’m the Joker,” Willa said.
“The Joker was stepping out of your shell. You proved to a lot of people that there was more to you than they thought. It was a good thing.” He toasted her with his glass.
“It wasn’t all about proving I was more than what people thought of me. Being the Joker was a manifestation of a lot of unresolved family problems.”
Sebastian snorted, and everyone turned to him. He was leaning casually against the bar. “You two had it easy. Try being the Freak sometime.”
“I guess you’re the only one who hasn’t changed, Pax,” Colin said. “And I think it’s because you had yourself figured out long before any of us.”
That seemed to hurt Paxton, and Willa wanted to punch Colin on the arm.
“I guess I’m just the Princess of the group, aren’t I?”
“I meant that as a compliment.”
“No, you didn’t,” Paxton said. “You want to know the real difference between me and all of you? I don’t love any of you any less for not being exactly who I want you to be.”
“No, you reserve that criticism for only yourself,” Sebastian said softly.
Silence.
“Is it just me, or did this conversation suddenly get a little too serious?” Willa said.
They tried to laugh it off, and soon Willa’s and Colin’s sandwiches arrived. As they ate, Paxton told them about the magical food at the luncheon, and Sebastian told some funny stories about the society ladies. Colin, who was obviously a voracious eater with an enviable metabolism, finished his Reuben quickly.
Paxton had been turning her glass in circles on the bar, but when she noticed his empty plate, she said, “Can I ride back with you to Hickory Cottage?”
Colin wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I need to take Willa back to her Jeep first.”
“It’s just up the street at my store,” Willa said, setting her sandwich down. “I can walk.”
“Paxton, I can take you home,” Sebastian said. “Willa’s not finished.”
“No. I think I’m finished,” Willa said, and she wasn’t sure why. Everyone suddenly seemed so anxious to leave that she found herself caught up in it. It was like seeing a crowd run quickly away from something. You don’t stick around to see what it is. You run, too.
Paxton stood, and Colin followed suit.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sebastian asked Paxton.
“No. I meant to tell you. You get a Sunday reprieve. Willa and I are going to talk to Nana Osgood tomorrow.”
“You are?” Colin said. “Why?”
Paxton sighed. “Maybe one day, Colin, when you’re finally interested in this family, I’ll tell you,” she said as she walked away.
“Well, this is going to be a fun car ride home,” Colin said as he left some money on the bar, covering the check.
“Thanks for the hike,” Willa said.
“I’m sorry I made you go.”
“I’m not.” He met her eyes for a moment longer than necessary, then left.
Sebastian moved down to sit beside her. “If that’s what we were saying, can you imagine what we weren’t saying?” He nodded to her sandwich. “Finish. I’ll drive you to your Jeep.”
“That’s okay. I’ll walk.”
“Then I’ll walk you,” he said.
Willa stared at her sandwich. She wasn’t hungry anymore. “Let’s go, then,” she said as she slid off the stool. “I’m done.”
It was early evening when they walked outside, the sky the color of pink lemonade. Her grandmother used to tell her that a pink sky meant someone in the distance had just fallen in love—a rare moment of whimsy from a woman who had been scared of everything. National Street was still busy, and many stores were still open as they walked down the sidewalk together. Sebastian had a calm way about him. He was someone who didn’t mind silence.
“How long have you and Paxton been … close?” Willa finally asked him.
“Since I came back to town. We instantly connected.” Sebastian didn’t seem like the type who would deliberately hurt someone else. Did he know Paxton was in love with him? And was that something Willa should tell him? She had no idea why she was even considering getting involved. She guessed she didn’t like the thought of Paxton being hurt by someone who hadn’t entirely figured himself out yet. A little like Colin, she supposed. Not that she was hurt. Not really. Her feelings for him were her own fault. She’d always known he was leaving.
“You and Paxton seem to be getting to know each other pretty well,” Sebastian commented, after another stretch of silence.
“I don’t know about that. Understand is probably a better word. We’re getting to understand each other. Our grandmothers had a connection a long time ago. We’re sorting through the details.”
“For the gala?” he asked.
“Not entirely.”
They finally reached Willa’s store. The lights were off inside, and Rachel had already left. “Thanks for the walk. This is my Jeep,” she said, unzipping her cargo shorts’ pocket and taking out her keys.
“You know, Colin was right about one thing,” Sebastian said. “By being the Joker, you did prove to a lot of people that there was more to you than they thought. And you can’t say that you didn’t intend for it to happen, either, because you made absolutely certain we all knew it was you in the end, with that banner.”
Willa smiled sheepishly. “Well, I thought I was never coming back to Walls of Water after college. I wanted the legend to have a name.”
“You inspired me a little.”
“I did?”
“Back then, I needed to break free of some things, too. I needed to stop being what everyone thought I was. But there will always be a little bit of the Freak in me. It’s part of who I am.”
She’d always thought of Sebastian as the master of reinvention. But she now realized that he hadn’t reinvented himself at all. He’d become himself. “How did you come to terms with it?”
“We are who we are. It’s surprising how little say we have in it. Once you accept that, the rest is easy.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Good night, lovely.”
“Good night,” she said as she watched him walk away.
Willa had already showered and had on her cotton shorts and tank top for bed when there was a knock at the door. She pulled on a short robe and walked downstairs, turning on lights she’d already turned off for the night.
When she opened the door, her favorite insomniac was there, looking absolutely miserable.
“I’m sorry,” Colin said. “I’m sorry I implied that your life is anything less than what it needs to be, for you, for your family. I made this all about me.”
“Yeah, I finally figured that out.” She stepped back and let him enter. He brought in with him that lemon-pie scent she’d smelled once before. Regret.
“I don’t know why this place affects me like it does, like I can’t be myself here, even though I always am. I make a point of it. Maybe I’m just protesting too much. Maybe I think if I do come back, I won’t be as good an Osgood as the rest of my family. That’s always been a big fear of mine. But, God, it makes me tense just to think about it. I don’t want that. I don’t want society parties and days spent on the golf course.” He ran both hands through his hair. It was still damp, as if he, too, had recently showered.
Willa folded her arms over her chest. “Has anyone actually made you do anything you didn’t want to do since you’ve been coming back for visits?”
He frowned. “Well, no.”
“So you’re just rigidly creating conflict that isn’t there.” She laughed. “Guess what, Colin? There’s still some of the Stick Man in you. G
et used to it. It’s not going away.”
He went to her couch and sank down onto it. “I’m embarrassed. And so damn tired. Why can I never sleep here?”
“Maybe you’re afraid to relax and let some things just happen.”
“You’re right. Falling for you just happened.” He chuckled and leaned his head back against the cushions. “And that’s the best thing that’s ever come out of coming home.”
Willa’s arms fell to her sides with surprise. “I keep telling you, stop dropping by when you’re tired. You say things you shouldn’t.”
He lifted his head and looked at her seriously. “Why shouldn’t I say that?”
“Because I’m not entirely sure you know who I am,” she answered honestly. How could he, when she had only recently begun to figure it out?
“On the contrary. I’ve been paying very close attention.”
She shook her head. “Tell me that in the morning, and I might believe you.”
“Okay.” He rubbed his hands on the couch on either side of him. “Can I sleep on your couch again? That was the only good night’s sleep I’ve had since I’ve been here.”
“Okay,” she said, and sighed. “Let me get you a pillow.”
“No, no pillow,” he said as he stretched out, then made room for her. “Just you.”
All sorts of things flew through her mind, the most surprising of which was the instantaneous Yes! she heard. But she’d been denying those instant impulses for far too long to follow them without some thought first. “Colin …”
“I just want you to lie here with me until I fall asleep, okay?”
She turned off the lights again, then walked over to him. He was so tall that she easily fit into his side. He put his arm around her, and she rested her head on his chest. This felt right.
What an impossible situation.
“I’m not sure I can live here,” he said into the darkness, as if reading her thoughts. She could hear his voice deep in his chest.
“I’m not sure I can leave,” she responded.
They were quiet for a while. His heartbeat was slowing to a calm rhythm.
“I think I might try to live here, though,” he whispered.
“I think I might try to leave,” she whispered back.
“But still no chance of turning you into a nature girl?”
She laughed and snuggled in deeper. “Go to sleep, Colin.”
And, finally, he did.
The next morning, Willa was standing on a chair in her closet, reaching back for a shoe box full of high school mementoes, when Colin said from behind her, “What are you doing?”
“That’s funny, I was just wishing that a tall man would suddenly appear and help me,” she said as she jumped off the chair. “Will you get that box off the shelf up there for me?”
He showed off by doing it easily.
“What is that?” Colin asked as he handed it to her.
“Just something I want to return to Paxton when I meet her today,” she said as she set the box on her dresser. She’d been up for a while but wasn’t dressed yet. Colin had still been asleep when she’d woken up, so she’d been trying not to make too much noise.
“So this is your room,” he said, looking around. The wrought-iron bed was the one she’d slept in for most of her life, but the lamps on the bedside tables were funky crystal ones Rachel had given to her for her birthday. Her furniture was old, but some pieces were hand-painted with harlequin designs by one of her artist friends from National Street.
“Yes, this is my room.”
He had a serious case of bed head, his shirt was untucked, and his feet were bare, which for some reason she found endearing. He turned to her and said, “I slept.”
“I know.” She wasn’t going to tell him that she hadn’t. She was used to sleeping on her back and, short of sprawling out on top of him, that had been impossible last night.
He walked up to her and put his arms around her waist. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. And you know what this means?” He bent down and said into her ear, “It means we’re going to have to do it again.”
She laughed. “Okay, just not on the couch again. I’m too used to my bed.”
He looked over his shoulder. “It’s a nice bed.”
She took his hand and led him over to it. “It’s very comfortable,” she said as she sat on it. “And it fits two.”
Colin leaned over her, making her lie back. Still standing but with his hands on either side of her, he looked down on her and said, “Willa?”
“Yes?”
“It’s morning.”
“I know.”
“And I’m still in love with you.”
FOURTEEN
Lost and Found
Just after lunch that Sunday, Paxton met Willa in the parking lot of the nursing home and they walked together to Nana Osgood’s room. Willa was pensive but cheery, almost as though she was cautiously optimistic about something. Paxton wondered if it had anything to do with her brother not coming home last night. She really wanted to ask Willa but figured that was the kind of thing you shared only with friends.
“How are you with all that Nana Osgood told us on Friday?” Paxton said. “I couldn’t ask you yesterday, not with Sebastian and Colin there.”
“I’m okay. How are you?” Willa looked up at her, a line of concern forming between her brows.
“I’m okay, too,” she lied. “A little worried about what more she has in store for us today, though.”
“Well, it can’t get worse, so that means it can only get better, right?”
“Right,” Paxton said doubtfully, but she really did want to believe it. Something had to give.
Paxton had brought a box of chocolate truffles with her to give to Nana Osgood, even though her mother had said not to. But Paxton was tired of trying to be a buffer between Nana Osgood and her daughter-in-law, who fought like a snake and a mongoose. That was their battle, not hers. And she had enough to deal with.
Once Paxton gave Nana Osgood the chocolates, she settled beside her on the love seat. She did this gently, so she wouldn’t dislodge her grandmother, who probably weighed as much as burnt paper. Willa sat in the chair opposite them.
Agatha stroked the box of chocolates on her lap. The first thing she said was, “If the police go after Georgie, I want you to tell them what I told you.”
“I don’t think they’re going after her,” Willa said. “I haven’t heard anything from Woody Olsen. Have you?” Willa asked Paxton.
“No.”
“I don’t care what you think,” Agatha said. “If it comes down to it, promise me you’ll tell them!”
“It’s all right, Nana. We promise.”
“Okay, then.” She petted the chocolate box some more.
“The gala is this Friday,” Paxton said. “I still want you to come.”
Agatha pshawed. “You silly girls.”
“Willa and I noticed the date of the formation of the Women’s Society Club is around the same time Tucker Devlin disappeared seventy-five years ago. Is that just a coincidence?”
“No, it’s not a coincidence. There’s no such thing. The night we buried him, I told Georgie I’d always be there for her. She was afraid. She was pregnant. And I was going to help her, no matter what. The next day I got our four other best friends together and told them Georgie needed us. I didn’t give them the details, but the town seemed to know Tucker was gone. Everything felt different, like we were waking up. The six of us formed the Women’s Society Club exclusively to help Georgie. We promised that we would never turn our backs on each other again. Even if it made us afraid, even if it was dangerous, we promised we would stick together and make things right, because no one else would. Georgie’s family did nothing to help her. And the whole town saw how Tucker treated us, pitting us against each other, and did nothing to save their daughters’ hearts. We decided to become a society of women, a club to make sure wom
en were protected. The club was something important back then. Not like it is today.”
“What happened to make it change so much?” Paxton asked. She’d been having mixed feelings about the club lately, and finding this out just made her more confused about her role in it.
“Life happened,” Agatha said. “Georgie left the club about ten years later, when the rest of us started having our own children. That’s when we began to use the club as a way to compare notes. Who had the best cook. Whose husband made more money. Georgie’s life was so different that I don’t think she felt like she belonged anymore. But I kept my promise. I was always there if she needed me. She just stopped asking. I was close enough to Ham, though, that he would come to me when she wouldn’t.”
“Grandmother Georgie was very strict with my father,” Willa said. Paxton turned to her. She didn’t understand the context, but Willa was obviously going somewhere with this.
“She was terrified he was going to turn out just like Tucker. She was terrified of everything. She was terrified this very thing was going to happen, that Tucker’s body was going to be found.” Agatha shook her head. “All her superstitions were because she wanted his ghost to stay buried. It turned into a mania.”
“Did my dad know who his father was?”
“She eventually told him he was a traveling salesman she never saw again. I think he might have deduced more. What Ham knew for sure was that living a small life was what his mother wanted for him. And he did that for her. It was a shame he died just as he was finally coming into his own.”
Willa leaned forward. “What do you mean?”
“He was going to sell his house and travel.”
“He never told me that!”
“I don’t think he told you a lot of things.”
Willa surprised Paxton by asking, “Did he quit his job at the school because of me?”
“Yes. He was impressed by you. Although I can’t imagine why.” Agatha made a face. “All those pranks. And when he found out you’d dropped out of college, he just thought you were finding yourself.”