It had been an arrest Vinny had been thrilled to make. Cash couldn’t count the times his ex-partner had said that collar was the one that drove him to retire. He came far too close to putting the trucker’s head through a wall.
Lisa gathered Charlie up into her arms. “Maybe it’s time we all let the past go and focus on the future. I love you, Charlie. Maybe I didn’t know how much until I thought I’d lost you. We’ll start all over. Can we? Will you give me another chance?”
“I want to,” Charlie confided. “But I’m scared.”
“I’m scared, too,” Lisa said. “I don’t want to make any more mistakes with you. I’ve made so many.”
“Destroyer made lots of mistakes, too, before he got to be our dog,” Charlie said. “He even gave Daddy a black eye. But I still love him anyway.”
“That’s good news,” Lisa said, trying to smile. “Maybe there’s still hope for me.”
“There’s hope for all of us,” Cash promised. Rowena had taught him that.
He knew it would take time for Charlie’s wounds to mend, but at least they were all uncovered. Out in the light and air Rowena promised could heal them.
“Can Mac and I stay with Daddy?” Charlie asked.
“Will you visit me sometimes?” Lisa pleaded. “And let me visit you here? I’ve missed you. Both.”
Charlie looked to her sister and Cash had to smile as Mac balanced her small legs on the Newfoundland’s back, using Destroyer as a footstool. “Is that okay with you, Mac?” Charlie queried.
Mac paused to consider. “I guess so. On one condition.” The kid might as well have been threatening to turn Little Rabbit FuFu into a Goon. “That you never make my sister sad again, Mommy. And Daddy finishes that tree house right away.”
The tree house. A symbol of everything Cash had lost. And yet, now it seemed full of possibilities. For the first time since the accident he could imagine Mac climbing up the ladder. He could picture his children storing not disaster kits in the oak’s broad branches, but rather, dreams. He could weave fantasies of taking Rowena up there when she was his wife, making love with her under the stars, maybe creating a new life, a baby of their own.
“You said you only had one condition, Mac,” Charlie’s earnest correction jarred him from picturing joys tomorrow might bring. “You gave two.”
Mac plumped out her bottom lip. “I don’t care. You ran away too far this time an’ we couldn’t find you forever an’ ever. You got to have a better place to hide next time so you don’t scare me so bad.”
“I’m not going to run away,” Charlie promised solemnly. “Never again.”
“Well, I s’pose that’s good.” Mac scratched her nose, obviously weighing her sister’s promise. “But Daddy’s got to finish the tree house anyway. I got to teach you how to play good again before it’s too late.”
AFTERNOON SUN MADE the shop window glisten like gold as Cash pulled his SUV up to the curb and parked. He fingered the small velvet box in his jacket pocket, nervous as hell, and maybe happier than he’d ever been.
He had so much to tell Rowena. So much to share. MacKenzie’s first steps. The way she’d clung to Charlie and the dog. The way Charlie’s face had lit up when Mac insisted that she was keeping her sister.
Even the tree house clause in Mac’s negotiations would make Rowena laugh. But as much as any of these miracles, he hoped the last one he offered would bring joy to Rowena’s heart.
Asking her to be his wife.
And yet, Cash couldn’t help but sense Rowena was avoiding him. Not picking up the phone the past week. Not returning his calls. He knew she was trying to give him and the girls the space she thought they needed after the hell they’d gone through the night Charlie had gone missing. But what Rowena had to understand was this: the enchantment the Lawless family really needed most at the moment was her. The colorful paint didn’t brighten the house nearly as much as Rowena’s smiles. The dog didn’t shower his girls with even half of Rowena’s unconditional love. And not even Cuchullain’s magic whistle could awaken in Cash an ounce of the enchantment he felt holding Rowena in his arms.
And she loved him right back.
What could possibly go wrong?
He drew in a deep breath and opened the door. Saw Rowena at the register ringing up what looked like a sack of parrot food as Miss Marigold counted money out of her old-fashioned beaded bag.
As Cash approached, the older woman turned and flashed him a smile beneath the brim of what looked like an old-fashioned Easter bonnet. “Bless my soul! If it isn’t that handsome Deputy Lawless!”
Rowena started at the sound of his name. He’d hoped she’d look happy to see him. Instead she looked…ragged around the edges, the light in her eyes so different it sent a shiver of unease down his spine.
“Ma’am,” he greeted Miss Marigold, trying to figure out what the devil was wrong. Who had put the sadness in Rowena’s glen-green eyes.
“So you’re back at the pet shop again,” Miss Marigold said. “I’d never have guessed you were an animal lover after the words you said when you chased that awful monster of a dog out of my tea room! I declare, you near burned my ears raw, but I expect I’d be a lot less shockable these days than I once was, considering the company I’ve started to keep.”
“Ms. Brown here has a gift for changing people’s minds. Actually, my girls adopted Destroyer. Although I do confess I get tempted to swear at him when he misbehaves now and then.”
Miss Marigold tittered and pressed her fingertips to her rather buck teeth. But Cash looked right past her to the golden-haired gypsy who’d snagged his heart. Why was it that even her bracelets didn’t seem to jingle quite so merrily today?
“Rowena,” he said, low, husky. Her name. It was just her name. And yet he infused it with all the love he felt for her. Why wouldn’t she meet his gaze?
“Have you heard the news?” Miss Marigold asked him. “I’ve finally found a gentleman who appreciates my finer qualities. I always told my folks I was waiting for Cary Grant to sweep me off my feet, but I’ve decided to settle for Elvis.”
“So Vinny sweet-talked you into the parrot at last?” Cash reached for his cop mask, hiding the mounting tension he felt.
“It’s true, Vincent did introduce me to my feathery soul mate. But it was that rogue bird himself who won my heart. And in the end, I fell head over heels for Vincent, as well. I just couldn’t help myself. Vincent claims that someday he’s going to sweep me off to Vegas to get married in an Elvis chapel—in honor of the King who introduced us.”
Cash grinned, happy for both of them. One more miracle Rowena had made happen. “You in an Elvis chapel?” he teased. “It’s hard to picture.”
“Well, young man, there’s a lot about me you don’t know. I haven’t a drop of willpower at all when it comes to love.”
“I understand completely.” Cash tucked his hand in his pocket, his fingers skimming the velvet on the box. “Love—” he grimaced with a shake of his head “—sneaks right up and bites you in the—”
“Cash!” Rowena protested, and he hated how pale she seemed. “As you can see, I’m sort of busy.”
“I can wait. Forever if I have to.” As long as she’d let him drive the shadows from her eyes.
Miss Marigold’s gaze sharpened. “Well, I declare! Elvis isn’t the only one who’s looking to ‘love me tender.’”
“Miss Marigold,” Rowena protested. “This isn’t what—what it looks like.”
“I may be an old maid, dearie, but my glasses work just fine. I’ll be getting back home. I’ve a tea party for six in two hours. And I’ll wager it’ll be an adventure. Elvis has a spicy vocabulary, Deputy, but I confess, I can’t wait to hear what he’ll say next.”
She scooped up her purchases and started toward the door. “Hmm.” Miss Marigold turned at the door, surveying Rowena. “You make a very striking couple, the two of you. You might want to consider taking on a man of your own, Ms. Brown. One without feathers or four paws.”<
br />
Rowena flushed. “I don’t think…”
“Just consider the possibility,” Miss Marigold suggested. “I must warn you, dear, that being the town’s maiden lady isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It gets tiresome, being alone. I thank God for my two men every day. Well, my man and my parrot.”
Cash went to the door and opened it for the older woman. The bell jangled as it shut.
He turned back to Rowena, a nagging weight in his chest. Something was very wrong. “You haven’t been answering my calls.”
“No. I’ve been busy. How—how are the girls?”
“Pretty damned amazing, actually. Charlie’s smiling. Mac’s taken four steps.”
Finally a spark lit her eyes. “Really? Oh, Cash! Thank God!”
“And you. She held on to Charlie and that damned dog you foisted off on me. I wish you could have seen her, Rowena.”
“You did. That’s what matters.”
He touched one of the brass dogtags decorating a miniature tree near the register. He could make out the familiar figure etched into the medal. St. Francis of Assisi. The patron saint of animals came complete with a hook ready to be attached to a beloved pet’s collar. Cash would have to pick one up for Destroyer. Even Rose Lawless would have to approve of the dog now, looking down from her seat in heaven. Especially since before Rowena and that Newfoundland had come into Cash’s life, his family would have fit far better under the jurisdiction of St. Jude, patron of hopeless causes.
“I took your advice about Lisa,” he said. “We’re working things out. We’re not exactly sure what we are going to do yet, but we know what we’re not going to do. Fight with each other, tear our girls apart.”
“I’m glad.”
“I still don’t agree with the way Lisa handled things. But at least I understand what she was trying to do. She’s worked hard on herself these past two years. And in her own way she loves the girls.”
“I’m…happy for all of you.”
She sounded so strange, so withdrawn, her eyes red, their lids heavy as if she hadn’t slept. He’d had insomnia long enough himself to know what it meant: a troubled heart.
“If you’re happy, why do you look like you want to cry?”
She said nothing. He saw her throat work.
“Rowena, I know everything has been changing, happening so fast. But there’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of. You’re the reason my daughter is walking. You’re the reason Charlie has the dog who kept her safe when I couldn’t be there. You gave her your magic whistle. I guess I want to give you something to take its place.” He pulled the box out of his pocket. “This didn’t come from a fairy godmother, but it’s got all my love inside it. Maybe that will be enough.”
He opened the box, the engagement ring he’d bought just that morning sparkling. He slipped it out, holding it in the palm of his hand. “I was so sure I’d blown my chance at this kind of loving. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making up for lost time. I’ve even imagined the two of us in the tree house when it’s finished. Making love. Making more babies. Making…all the good things you promised life could be.”
Anguish welled up in Rowena’s eyes. “I can’t. We can’t.”
Cash’s chest felt too small. He struggled to quell the dread that gripped him. “What do you mean we can’t? You love me. I love you.”
“The two of us together would have been complicated before Charlie ran away. But now—it’s impossible.”
“You don’t believe in impossible. That’s what you told me.”
“I believe in it now. Your girls have been through so much, Cash. And Charlie is so afraid of losing you. Marrying me and forcing them to accept a mother they don’t want would be a mistake. I won’t be the cause of more hurt in their lives.”
Cash reeled in disbelief. “But you’re the best thing that ever happened to them.”
“Charlie doesn’t think so.”
“Give her a little time. Remember what it was like between the two of you before she ran away? If it wasn’t for you she wouldn’t have that dog she loves. I still wouldn’t know she felt invisible. You helped my little girl see magic in the world again, Rowena. Don’t take it away from her now.”
“You’re the magic in her world, Cash. You always were. She lost you after the accident and she just got you back. She’s scared I’ll take you away from her.”
Charlie’s small, lonely face rose in his memory, how lost she’d been, how brave. Giving her mother a second chance. Forgiving him for the things he’d said, the things he didn’t mean. God, he didn’t want to put any more fear in her eyes. And yet, he felt as if in losing Rowena he was surrendering a part of his soul.
Cash skimmed his thumb over the ring he’d bought with so much hope, never dreaming she’d turn it down. “But I need you, Rowena,” he said, low. “Doesn’t that matter at all?”
“It matters. But not enough to change anything. I know you, Cash. You don’t know how to do anything but your best. Especially when it comes to your girls. If there were problems later because you married me, you’d never forgive yourself. And I couldn’t bear that. I won’t have you feel guilty for marrying me. I won’t have you look back and resent me.”
“I wouldn’t. I couldn’t,” Cash rasped. “Good God, Rowena, I love you.”
“I know. But you loved them first.” She took his hand, closed his fingers gently over the ring, blocking out its shine. “I won’t be changing my mind, Cash. I promised—”
She cut herself off, and he wondered what it was she was about to say. “You promised what?” he asked.
“I promised myself I’d disappear now that you and the girls are—are all healed.” She smiled, a wobbly smile. “Giving up something you want with all your heart is the part in fairy tales that makes the magic stick. The miller’s daughter giving up her baby so she could spin straw into gold. The Little Mermaid giving up her beautiful voice for a chance to love the prince. I have to give up you.”
“What about happily ever after? That’s the way the stories I read to Mac always end.”
“The watered-down versions, maybe. But if you read the real ones, the old stories, you’d see that sometimes the prince has to love somebody else and the mermaid turns to foam.”
“Damn it, Rowena, this isn’t some fairy tale. This is real life. Our lives.”
“I know. But it’s not like the ending is any big surprise to me. It’s what I always do, you know. Disappear once things are fixed.”
She meant it. And the knowledge was killing him. He’d ended up hurting her the way Bryony had feared he would. Rowena had given too much and he’d taken it. All her hope. All her heart. After everything she’d sacrificed to make his family whole it seemed so damned unfair to leave her all alone.
And yet, her resolve seemed so steely. Her fears all too real.
“You did fix us, Rowena,” Cash said softly. “In so many ways.” He cradled her cheek, wanting with all his soul to kiss her one last time. But she caught his wrists to stop him. Pain flared, hot in her eyes.
“God, Rowena,” he pleaded. “I just wish you’d let me…let me try…”
“It’s not worth the risk. You know that even better than I do. Go home, Cash. To your daughters. And if you love me, even a little, respect my decision.”
It tore him apart to step away from her, walk out the door. He went back to his house. To the colors she’d chosen, the walls she’d painted, the children she’d healed.
To the lives that she’d changed forever.
The life she was so damned sure that Cash had to live without her.
I TOLD YOU SO was an ugly bunch of words, but tonight Rowena was just miserable enough to risk hearing them. She pulled off Michigan Avenue into her sister’s parking garage. Even at four in the morning with her eyes nearly swollen shut, the spacious building Bryony lived in looked gorgeous, elegant, soaring with confidence and all the other things Rowena knew she could never be.
She rushed up to the doo
rman who’d known two generations of Browns. He took one look at her and buzzed her in, his leathery face worried as he let Bryony know she was on her way to the apartment on the twenty-seventh floor.
“Dr. Brown just got in,” Michael said, rushing to push the elevator button for her as if he was afraid she’d miss it. “An emergency at the hospital last night…I hope everything is all right…”
But for the first time in her life, Rowena doubted anything would ever be right again. She leaned against the elevator wall, watching the numbers flash by. The trip seemed to take forever. But when the doors slid silently open, Bryony was waiting on the other side.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Bryony said, rushing toward her in a cream silk robe. “What happened?”