~ ~ ~ ~
The driving was slow and quiet. The grief weighed heavily on us both, and it kept conversation to a minimum. Joss was toying with the small object he had retrieved from the Powells. To me, it looked like a couple small sticks tied together, and I was curious as to its significance. I would wager it had something to do with Becky, but I felt Joss wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Instead, I focused on the drive.
With no one around to keep up regular maintenance on the highways, nature was taking its toll. There were a lot of obstacles to deal with – obstruction, damage, freaks – that it slowed our progress to a crawl.
I had pointed the Murano northwest shortly after leaving Sweetwater. My goal was to avoid getting anywhere near Carlsbad if I could help it, and so far Joss hadn't mentioned it. I wasn't sure if that was because he didn't want to face what we might find there or if it hadn't occurred to him that we were heading in that general direction.
We had only traveled maybe sixty miles west when we decided to find a place to camp for the night. I didn't feel like hunting down a nearby settlement so I found the next best thing. A neighborhood full of freaks. That was the fastest way to find a place safe from strangers. I didn't trust most people nowadays.
The freaks wandered the streets of this small, rundown neighborhood. There were so many places like this, places that humanity never tried to take back. It was testament to how few of us were left on this earth. To say we were outnumbered by the diseased was an understatement.
Spotting a two-story house that seemed to be in pretty decent shape, I pulled the SUV as far into the driveway as I could get. Most of it was blocked by overgrown hedges and fallen tree limbs. There was a small forest of rose bushes we would have to wade through to get to the front door, but it wasn't unlike most of the other houses, and the upper story made it worth it. Freaks could climb stairs but they were clumsy and noisy. They always gave ample warning when they were in a building, so being on the top floor gave us an added sense of security.
"Remember," I whispered to Joss before opening the door. "Move slowly and make as little noise as possible."
He just cocked an eyebrow at me and I had to bite my tongue. I reminded myself Joss was no novice to this life, but that would never change my over-cautious nature.
"Sorry,” I said flatly, and his face broke into a smile. It was enough to lighten the heavy mood, and the smile I returned was genuine. Then I, once again, saw him as a reflection of Seth, and my mouth went dry as I turned away.
"Come on,” I croaked as I climbed out of the cab, hoping I was fast enough to cover up my mood swing. Luckily, Joss didn’t seem to notice.
We both moved toward the house, keeping an eye on the freaks that were milling toward the SUV but ignoring us. Through the window of the house, I could see at least two freaks keeping a stoic vigil in what looked to be the living room. I motioned Joss to the back of the house, and we circled around from opposite sides.
I found the back door locked but the window to the side of it slid open easily. Joss moved in front of me, slipping through the window quickly before I could argue. I waited impatiently for him to unlock the back door and met his smirk with a frown.
"Alright, show off,” I grumbled. "Let me see if I can lead these guys out of here without a fight."
He stayed behind me this time as I walked into the living room. The two freaks, who looked to be an older couple, turned to regard me as I entered.
My lip curled in disgust at the thought of touching them. This wasn't the same as when we had dealt with Becky. These smelly freaks had never been people to me, and I couldn't bring myself to reach out to them.
Instead, I circled behind them, which was another thing I didn't like doing as it put them between Joss and me. I saw no way around it, though, and I reminded myself they wouldn't hurt him.
Grabbing an old dusty cane I found lying on the floor, I started to prod the man forward with it. The old woman snapped at me suddenly, causing me to jump backwards and drop the cane. It clattered as it hit the floor. I was tensed and ready to defend myself, but aside from the snap, the freak was still. Regardless, my heart was already thumping in my chest.
"The hell was that?" Joss said from the doorway, and both freaks turned to him.
I grumbled under my breath, thinking again about the freak that had attacked me in the blue house before I'd left Grand Prairie. "They do that sometimes."
Both freaks pivoted again to look at me.
"And you didn't think that was need-to-know info?" he asked, raising his eyebrow again. The freaks volleyed their stares back to Joss.
"When did you turn into such a smartass?" I said as I retrieved the cane, poking it at the woman as she turned to me. Joss disappeared from the doorway and called out a little too loudly for my taste.
"Learned it from you!"
I sniffed at that and waited for the freaks to turn to him. They started moving toward the kitchen on their own, following Joss's voice. I gave the woman freak a good hard bump with the cane and she snapped at me over her shoulder, but didn't stop her forward momentum.
"You're just an old bitch, now aren't you?" I snarled at her.
She didn't deny it.
The male freak had made his way into the kitchen, and I could see that Joss had armed himself with a broom. He was pushing the old man out the back door with its bristles. The freak was craning his head back to watch him, but continued moving out the door.
Once he was outside, the old woman followed with less hassle. I guessed she wanted to stay close to her husband so she didn't put up a fuss. I quickly shut the door behind them and locked it, also locking the window for good measure.
"I hope that was it,” I said, turning to Joss who was still wielding the broom. "So, how do you want to do this?"
I wanted to leave the planning for tonight up to him. I had to see how comfortable he was with his new life. He had shown confidence with my plan, but he fumbled at this. He looked older, but he was still just a kid. In the end, he managed to surprise me.
"I'll make sure the downstairs is clear, you go up,” he said, motioning to the stairs.
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, but I only said, "If you find anything, let me know right away. Don't engage it."
"Sure,” he said, but I didn't trust his smile. He was relieved he didn't have to fear the freaks anymore, but I hope he kept a healthy respect for them. At least he hadn't made any mention of trying to kill them all yet, like I had tried to do.
I left him to it and started up the stairs, making sure to open every window I could find. It was sweltering hot in the house, and I needed to air out the stench of unwashed freak that had been building for years. After my sweep of the upstairs floor, I descended the stairs to find Joss back in the kitchen, going through the cabinets.
"All clear," he stated as I walked in. "No gas, no water here."
I nodded. "I have plenty of water stocked. If you want to, we can check the other houses for supplies too. We have a lot of daylight left."
He seemed much too excited about that news, and I gave him a warning look. "We stay together, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am." He grinned.
I rolled my eyes at him. My show of annoyance was feigned though, and he was aware of it. The banter was going a long way to help ease the tension and pain for both of us.
The little town I'd found for us to rest in wasn't anything spectacular. It hadn't been looted, but there wasn't a lot there to begin with. We found water, food to eat so we didn't have to break into our stores, and Joss found some comic books he could read. He preferred the graphic novels over my plain text books. That was fine with me.
In the dying daylight hours, he spent time going through the pictures of the house and finding out all the information he could on the old couple that had lived here. This was a practice I generally avoided. I didn't want to humanize these monsters, but I couldn't find the words to warn Joss away. What he was trying to do seemed to be innocent and pure, so I di
dn't object.
They were older than I had thought, both of them in their mid-eighties. Being infected caused a nearly miraculous regeneration, but it was almost like their aging process had been reversed. I wouldn't have thought they were out of their sixties.
Joss was going on about their sixty-year marriage and their children, but I was lost in my own thoughts. Once again, I found myself thinking about Walter and what he had told me of his emphysema being gone within two weeks of becoming infected. He had looked so healthy. I found myself regretting the topic of age never coming up in our conversation. Now I had more unanswered questions.
Joss stopped talking as he went through the pictures, a dejected look taking over his features. Looking at him then, he became the sad fourteen-year-old kid he really was. A kid that should be worrying about homework and girls, not mourning a world lost that he would never know. I reached over and squeezed his hand.
"I wish there was something we could do," he mumbled.
"You're doing it, Joss,” I reassured him. "You're remembering them. I think that's all any of us would want in the end."
His green eyes glittered with tears as he glanced at me, then he blinked them away. His voice was full of melancholy that was nearly tangible when he spoke again. "Can we remember Seth?"
My stomach turned at his question, feeling like I'd been punched in the gut. I squeezed his hand all the tighter and forced him to look at me again. "I will always remember Seth."
He fell against me, his arms wrapping around me in a huge hug. I held him tightly, feeling him break down into wracking sobs.
"I miss him so much," he got out between breaths. His emotions were run ragged after what happened with Becky, but I couldn't hold it together either. The tears ran down my cheeks into his hair.
"Me too,” I whispered. "Me too."
I held him until the tears ran dry and there was nothing else to say. He slipped into a deep sleep that I don't think he'd been able to achieve in a while. I let him lie on the floor of the room he'd chosen to sleep in. He hardly stirred as I put a pillow under his head and covered him up with a thin blanket.
There was more to this bond that held Joss and I together, but losing Seth was a deep wound for both of us. A jagged wound that was still healing and it would take years before it faded. Hopefully being able to talk about him would bring the closure we both desperately needed.