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  CHAPTER XXXVII. HONOURABLY ACCOUNTS FOR MR. WELLER'S ABSENCE, BYDESCRIBING A SOIREE TO WHICH HE WAS INVITED AND WENT; ALSO RELATES HOWHE WAS ENTRUSTED BY MR. PICKWICK WITH A PRIVATE MISSION OF DELICACY ANDIMPORTANCE

  Mr. Weller,' said Mrs. Craddock, upon the morning of this very eventfulday, 'here's a letter for you.'

  'Wery odd that,' said Sam; 'I'm afeerd there must be somethin' thematter, for I don't recollect any gen'l'm'n in my circle of acquaintanceas is capable o' writin' one.'

  'Perhaps something uncommon has taken place,' observed Mrs. Craddock.

  'It must be somethin' wery uncommon indeed, as could perduce a letterout o' any friend o' mine,' replied Sam, shaking his head dubiously;'nothin' less than a nat'ral conwulsion, as the young gen'l'm'n observedven he wos took with fits. It can't be from the gov'ner,' said Sam,looking at the direction. 'He always prints, I know, 'cos he learntwritin' from the large bills in the booking-offices. It's a wery strangething now, where this here letter can ha' come from.'

  As Sam said this, he did what a great many people do when they areuncertain about the writer of a note--looked at the seal, and then atthe front, and then at the back, and then at the sides, and then at thesuperscription; and, as a last resource, thought perhaps he might aswell look at the inside, and try to find out from that.

  'It's wrote on gilt-edged paper,' said Sam, as he unfolded it, 'andsealed in bronze vax vith the top of a door key. Now for it.' And, witha very grave face, Mr. Weller slowly read as follows--

  'A select company of the Bath footmen presents their compliments to Mr.Weller, and requests the pleasure of his company this evening, to afriendly swarry, consisting of a boiled leg of mutton with the usualtrimmings. The swarry to be on table at half-past nine o'clockpunctually.'

  This was inclosed in another note, which ran thus--

  'Mr. John Smauker, the gentleman who had the pleasure of meeting Mr.Weller at the house of their mutual acquaintance, Mr. Bantam, a few dayssince, begs to inclose Mr. Weller the herewith invitation. If Mr. Wellerwill call on Mr. John Smauker at nine o'clock, Mr. John Smauker willhave the pleasure of introducing Mr. Weller.

  (Signed) '_John Smauker_.'

  The envelope was directed to blank Weller, Esq., at Mr. Pickwick's; andin a parenthesis, in the left hand corner, were the words 'airy bell,'as an instruction to the bearer.

  'Vell,' said Sam, 'this is comin' it rayther powerful, this is. I neverheerd a biled leg o' mutton called a swarry afore. I wonder wot they'dcall a roast one.'

  However, without waiting to debate the point, Sam at once betook himselfinto the presence of Mr. Pickwick, and requested leave of absence forthat evening, which was readily granted. With this permission and thestreet-door key, Sam Weller issued forth a little before the appointedtime, and strolled leisurely towards Queen Square, which he no soonergained than he had the satisfaction of beholding Mr. John Smaukerleaning his powdered head against a lamp-post at a short distance off,smoking a cigar through an amber tube.

  'How do you do, Mr. Weller?' said Mr. John Smauker, raising his hatgracefully with one hand, while he gently waved the other in acondescending manner. 'How do you do, Sir?'

  'Why, reasonably conwalessent,' replied Sam. 'How do _you _findyourself, my dear feller?'

  'Only so so,' said Mr. John Smauker.

  'Ah, you've been a-workin' too hard,' observed Sam. 'I was fearful youwould; it won't do, you know; you must not give way to that 'ereuncompromisin' spirit o' yourn.'

  'It's not so much that, Mr. Weller,' replied Mr. John Smauker, 'as badwine; I'm afraid I've been dissipating.'

  'Oh! that's it, is it?' said Sam; 'that's a wery bad complaint, that.'

  'And yet the temptation, you see, Mr. Weller,' observed Mr. JohnSmauker.

  'Ah, to be sure,' said Sam.

  'Plunged into the very vortex of society, you know, Mr. Weller,' saidMr. John Smauker, with a sigh.

  'Dreadful, indeed!' rejoined Sam.

  'But it's always the way,' said Mr. John Smauker; 'if your destiny leadsyou into public life, and public station, you must expect to besubjected to temptations which other people is free from, Mr. Weller.'

  'Precisely what my uncle said, ven he vent into the public line,'remarked Sam, 'and wery right the old gen'l'm'n wos, for he drankhisself to death in somethin' less than a quarter.'

  Mr. John Smauker looked deeply indignant at any parallel being drawnbetween himself and the deceased gentleman in question; but, as Sam'sface was in the most immovable state of calmness, he thought better ofit, and looked affable again.

  'Perhaps we had better be walking,' said Mr. Smauker, consulting acopper timepiece which dwelt at the bottom of a deep watch-pocket, andwas raised to the surface by means of a black string, with a copper keyat the other end.

  'P'raps we had,' replied Sam, 'or they'll overdo the swarry, and that'llspile it.'

  'Have you drank the waters, Mr. Weller?' inquired his companion, as theywalked towards High Street.

  'Once,' replied Sam.

  'What did you think of 'em, Sir?'

  'I thought they was particklery unpleasant,' replied Sam.

  'Ah,' said Mr. John Smauker, 'you disliked the killibeate taste,perhaps?'

  'I don't know much about that 'ere,' said Sam. 'I thought they'd a werystrong flavour o' warm flat irons.'

  'That _is_ the killibeate, Mr. Weller,' observed Mr. John Smaukercontemptuously.

  'Well, if it is, it's a wery inexpressive word, that's all,' said Sam.'It may be, but I ain't much in the chimical line myself, so I can'tsay.' And here, to the great horror of Mr. John Smauker, Sam Wellerbegan to whistle.

  'I beg your pardon, Mr. Weller,' said Mr. John Smauker, agonised at theexceeding ungenteel sound, 'will you take my arm?'

  'Thank'ee, you're wery good, but I won't deprive you of it,' repliedSam. 'I've rayther a way o' putting my hands in my pockets, if it's allthe same to you.' As Sam said this, he suited the action to the word,and whistled far louder than before.

  'This way,' said his new friend, apparently much relieved as they turneddown a by-street; 'we shall soon be there.'

  'Shall we?' said Sam, quite unmoved by the announcement of his closevicinity to the select footmen of Bath.

  'Yes,' said Mr. John Smauker. 'Don't be alarmed, Mr. Weller.'

  'Oh, no,' said Sam.

  'You'll see some very handsome uniforms, Mr. Weller,' continued Mr. JohnSmauker; 'and perhaps you'll find some of the gentlemen rather high atfirst, you know, but they'll soon come round.'

  'That's wery kind on 'em,' replied Sam.

  'And you know,' resumed Mr. John Smauker, with an air of sublimeprotection--'you know, as you're a stranger, perhaps, they'll be ratherhard upon you at first.'

  'They won't be wery cruel, though, will they?' inquired Sam.

  'No, no,' replied Mr. John Smauker, pulling forth the fox's head, andtaking a gentlemanly pinch. 'There are some funny dogs among us, andthey will have their joke, you know; but you mustn't mind 'em, youmustn't mind 'em.'

  'I'll try and bear up agin such a reg'lar knock down o' talent,' repliedSam.

  'That's right,' said Mr. John Smauker, putting forth his fox's head, andelevating his own; 'I'll stand by you.'

  By this time they had reached a small greengrocer's shop, which Mr. JohnSmauker entered, followed by Sam, who, the moment he got behind him,relapsed into a series of the very broadest and most unmitigated grins,and manifested other demonstrations of being in a highly enviable stateof inward merriment.

  Crossing the greengrocer's shop, and putting their hats on the stairs inthe little passage behind it, they walked into a small parlour; and herethe full splendour of the scene burst upon Mr. Weller's view.

  A couple of tables were put together in the middle of the parlour,covered with three or four cloths of different ages and dates ofwashing, arranged to look as much like one as the circumstances of thecase would allow. Upon these were laid knives and forks for six or eightpeople. Some of the knife handles were green, others red, an
d a fewyellow; and as all the forks were black, the combination of colours wasexceedingly striking. Plates for a corresponding number of guests werewarming behind the fender; and the guests themselves were warming beforeit: the chief and most important of whom appeared to be a stoutishgentleman in a bright crimson coat with long tails, vividly redbreeches, and a cocked hat, who was standing with his back to the fire,and had apparently just entered, for besides retaining his cocked hat onhis head, he carried in his hand a high stick, such as gentlemen of hisprofession usually elevate in a sloping position over the roofs ofcarriages.

  'Smauker, my lad, your fin,' said the gentleman with the cocked hat.

  Mr. Smauker dovetailed the top joint of his right-hand little fingerinto that of the gentleman with the cocked hat, and said he was charmedto see him looking so well.

  'Well, they tell me I am looking pretty blooming,' said the man with thecocked hat, 'and it's a wonder, too. I've been following our old womanabout, two hours a day, for the last fortnight; and if a constantcontemplation of the manner in which she hooks-and-eyes that infernallavender-coloured old gown of hers behind, isn't enough to throw anybodyinto a low state of despondency for life, stop my quarter's salary.'

  At this, the assembled selections laughed very heartily; and onegentleman in a yellow waistcoat, with a coach-trimming border, whispereda neighbour in green-foil smalls, that Tuckle was in spirits to-night.

  'By the bye,' said Mr. Tuckle, 'Smauker, my boy, you--' The remainder ofthe sentence was forwarded into Mr. John Smauker's ear, by whisper.

  'Oh, dear me, I quite forgot,' said Mr. John Smauker. 'Gentlemen, myfriend Mr. Weller.'

  'Sorry to keep the fire off you, Weller,' said Mr. Tuckle, with afamiliar nod. 'Hope you're not cold, Weller.'

  'Not by no means, Blazes,' replied Sam. 'It 'ud be a wery chilly subjectas felt cold wen you stood opposite. You'd save coals if they put youbehind the fender in the waitin'-room at a public office, you would.'

  As this retort appeared to convey rather a personal allusion to Mr.Tuckle's crimson livery, that gentleman looked majestic for a fewseconds, but gradually edging away from the fire, broke into a forcedsmile, and said it wasn't bad.

  'Wery much obliged for your good opinion, sir,' replied Sam. 'We shallget on by degrees, I des-say. We'll try a better one by and bye.'

  At this point the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of agentleman in orange-coloured plush, accompanied by another selection inpurple cloth, with a great extent of stocking. The new-comers havingbeen welcomed by the old ones, Mr. Tuckle put the question that supperbe ordered in, which was carried unanimously.

  The greengrocer and his wife then arranged upon the table a boiled legof mutton, hot, with caper sauce, turnips, and potatoes. Mr. Tuckle tookthe chair, and was supported at the other end of the board by thegentleman in orange plush. The greengrocer put on a pair of wash-leathergloves to hand the plates with, and stationed himself behind Mr.Tuckle's chair.

  'Harris,' said Mr. Tuckle, in a commanding tone.

  'Sir,' said the greengrocer.

  'Have you got your gloves on?'

  Yes, Sir.'

  'Then take the kiver off.'

  'Yes, Sir.'

  The greengrocer did as he was told, with a show of great humility, andobsequiously handed Mr. Tuckle the carving-knife; in doing which, heaccidentally gaped.

  'What do you mean by that, Sir?' said Mr. Tuckle, with great asperity.

  'I beg your pardon, Sir,' replied the crestfallen greengrocer, 'I didn'tmean to do it, Sir; I was up very late last night, Sir.'

  'I tell you what my opinion of you is, Harris,' said Mr. Tuckle, with amost impressive air, 'you're a wulgar beast.'

  'I hope, gentlemen,' said Harris, 'that you won't be severe with me,gentlemen. I am very much obliged to you indeed, gentlemen, for yourpatronage, and also for your recommendations, gentlemen, wheneveradditional assistance in waiting is required. I hope, gentlemen, I givesatisfaction.'

  'No, you don't, Sir,' said Mr. Tuckle. 'Very far from it, Sir.'

  'We consider you an inattentive reskel,' said the gentleman in theorange plush.

  'And a low thief,' added the gentleman in the green-foil smalls.

  'And an unreclaimable blaygaird,' added the gentleman in purple.

  The poor greengrocer bowed very humbly while these little epithets werebestowed upon him, in the true spirit of the very smallest tyranny; andwhen everybody had said something to show his superiority, Mr. Tuckleproceeded to carve the leg of mutton, and to help the company.

  This important business of the evening had hardly commenced, when thedoor was thrown briskly open, and another gentleman in a light-bluesuit, and leaden buttons, made his appearance.

  'Against the rules,' said Mr. Tuckle. 'Too late, too late.'

  'No, no; positively I couldn't help it,' said the gentleman in blue. 'Iappeal to the company. An affair of gallantry now, an appointment at thetheayter.'

  'Oh, that indeed,' said the gentleman in the orange plush.

  'Yes; raly now, honour bright,' said the man in blue. 'I made a promeseto fetch our youngest daughter at half-past ten, and she is such anuncauminly fine gal, that I raly hadn't the 'art to disappint her. Nooffence to the present company, Sir, but a petticut, sir--a petticut,Sir, is irrevokeable.'

  'I begin to suspect there's something in that quarter,' said Tuckle, asthe new-comer took his seat next Sam, 'I've remarked, once or twice,that she leans very heavy on your shoulder when she gets in and out ofthe carriage.'

  'Oh, raly, raly, Tuckle, you shouldn't,' said the man in blue. 'It's notfair. I may have said to one or two friends that she wos a very divinecreechure, and had refused one or two offers without any hobvus cause,but--no, no, no, indeed, Tuckle--before strangers, too--it's not right--you shouldn't. Delicacy, my dear friend, delicacy!' And the man in blue,pulling up his neckerchief, and adjusting his coat cuffs, nodded andfrowned as if there were more behind, which he could say if he liked,but was bound in honour to suppress.

  The man in blue being a light-haired, stiff-necked, free and easy sortof footman, with a swaggering air and pert face, had attracted Mr.Weller's special attention at first, but when he began to come out inthis way, Sam felt more than ever disposed to cultivate hisacquaintance; so he launched himself into the conversation at once, withcharacteristic independence.

  'Your health, Sir,' said Sam. 'I like your conversation much. I thinkit's wery pretty.'

  At this the man in blue smiled, as if it were a compliment he was wellused to; but looked approvingly on Sam at the same time, and said hehoped he should be better acquainted with him, for without any flatteryat all he seemed to have the makings of a very nice fellow about him,and to be just the man after his own heart.

  'You're wery good, sir,' said Sam. 'What a lucky feller you are!'

  'How do you mean?' inquired the gentleman in blue.

  'That 'ere young lady,' replied Sam. 'She knows wot's wot, she does. Ah!I see.' Mr. Weller closed one eye, and shook his head from side to side,in a manner which was highly gratifying to the personal vanity of thegentleman in blue.

  'I'm afraid you're a cunning fellow, Mr. Weller,' said that individual.

  'No, no,' said Sam. 'I leave all that 'ere to you. It's a great dealmore in your way than mine, as the gen'l'm'n on the right side o' thegarden vall said to the man on the wrong un, ven the mad bull vos a-comin' up the lane.'

  'Well, well, Mr. Weller,' said the gentleman in blue, 'I think she hasremarked my air and manner, Mr. Weller.'

  'I should think she couldn't wery well be off o' that,' said Sam.

  'Have you any little thing of that kind in hand, sir?' inquired thefavoured gentleman in blue, drawing a toothpick from his waistcoatpocket.

  'Not exactly,' said Sam. 'There's no daughters at my place, else o'course I should ha' made up to vun on 'em. As it is, I don't think I cando with anythin' under a female markis. I might keep up with a young'ooman o' large property as hadn't a title, if she made wery fierce loveto me. Not e
lse.'

  'Of course not, Mr. Weller,' said the gentleman in blue, 'one can't betroubled, you know; and _we_ know, Mr. Weller--we, who are men of theworld--that a good uniform must work its way with the women, sooner orlater. In fact, that's the only thing, between you and me, that makesthe service worth entering into.'

  'Just so,' said Sam. 'That's it, o' course.'

  When this confidential dialogue had gone thus far, glasses were placedround, and every gentleman ordered what he liked best, before thepublic-house shut up. The gentleman in blue, and the man in orange, whowere the chief exquisites of the party, ordered 'cold shrub and water,'but with the others, gin-and-water, sweet, appeared to be the favouritebeverage. Sam called the greengrocer a 'desp'rate willin,' and ordered alarge bowl of punch--two circumstances which seemed to raise him verymuch in the opinion of the selections.

  'Gentlemen,' said the man in blue, with an air of the most consummatedandyism, 'I'll give you the ladies; come.'

  'Hear, hear!' said Sam. 'The young mississes.'

  Here there was a loud cry of 'Order,' and Mr. John Smauker, as thegentleman who had introduced Mr. Weller into that company, begged toinform him that the word he had just made use of, was unparliamentary.

  'Which word was that 'ere, Sir?' inquired Sam.

  'Mississes, Sir,' replied Mr. John Smauker, with an alarming frown. 'Wedon't recognise such distinctions here.'

  'Oh, wery good,' said Sam; 'then I'll amend the obserwation and call 'emthe dear creeturs, if Blazes vill allow me.'

  Some doubt appeared to exist in the mind of the gentleman in the green-foil smalls, whether the chairman could be legally appealed to, as'Blazes,' but as the company seemed more disposed to stand upon theirown rights than his, the question was not raised. The man with thecocked hat breathed short, and looked long at Sam, but apparentlythought it as well to say nothing, in case he should get the worst ofit. After a short silence, a gentleman in an embroidered coat reachingdown to his heels, and a waistcoat of the same which kept one half ofhis legs warm, stirred his gin-and-water with great energy, and puttinghimself upon his feet, all at once by a violent effort, said he wasdesirous of offering a few remarks to the company, whereupon the personin the cocked hat had no doubt that the company would be very happy tohear any remarks that the man in the long coat might wish to offer.

  'I feel a great delicacy, gentlemen, in coming for'ard,' said the man inthe long coat, 'having the misforchune to be a coachman, and being onlyadmitted as a honorary member of these agreeable swarrys, but I do feelmyself bound, gentlemen--drove into a corner, if I may use theexpression--to make known an afflicting circumstance which has come tomy knowledge; which has happened I may say within the soap of myeveryday contemplation. Gentlemen, our friend Mr. Whiffers (everybodylooked at the individual in orange), our friend Mr. Whiffers hasresigned.'

  Universal astonishment fell upon the hearers. Each gentleman looked inhis neighbour's face, and then transferred his glance to the upstandingcoachman.

  'You may well be sapparised, gentlemen,' said the coachman. 'I will notwenchure to state the reasons of this irrepairabel loss to the service,but I will beg Mr. Whiffers to state them himself, for the improvementand imitation of his admiring friends.'

  The suggestion being loudly approved of, Mr. Whiffers explained. He saidhe certainly could have wished to have continued to hold the appointmenthe had just resigned. The uniform was extremely rich and expensive, thefemales of the family was most agreeable, and the duties of thesituation was not, he was bound to say, too heavy; the principal servicethat was required of him, being, that he should look out of the hallwindow as much as possible, in company with another gentleman, who hadalso resigned. He could have wished to have spared that company thepainful and disgusting detail on which he was about to enter, but as theexplanation had been demanded of him, he had no alternative but tostate, boldly and distinctly, that he had been required to eat coldmeat.

  It is impossible to conceive the disgust which this avowal awakened inthe bosoms of the hearers. Loud cries of 'Shame,' mingled with groansand hisses, prevailed for a quarter of an hour.

  Mr. Whiffers then added that he feared a portion of this outrage mightbe traced to his own forbearing and accommodating disposition. He had adistinct recollection of having once consented to eat salt butter, andhe had, moreover, on an occasion of sudden sickness in the house, so farforgotten himself as to carry a coal-scuttle up to the second floor. Hetrusted he had not lowered himself in the good opinion of his friends bythis frank confession of his faults; and he hoped the promptness withwhich he had resented the last unmanly outrage on his feelings, to whichhe had referred, would reinstate him in their good opinion, if he had.

  Mr. Whiffers's address was responded to, with a shout of admiration, andthe health of the interesting martyr was drunk in a most enthusiasticmanner; for this, the martyr returned thanks, and proposed theirvisitor, Mr. Weller--a gentleman whom he had not the pleasure of anintimate acquaintance with, but who was the friend of Mr. John Smauker,which was a sufficient letter of recommendation to any society ofgentlemen whatever, or wherever. On this account, he should have beendisposed to have given Mr. Weller's health with all the honours, if hisfriends had been drinking wine; but as they were taking spirits by wayof a change, and as it might be inconvenient to empty a tumbler at everytoast, he should propose that the honours be understood.

  At the conclusion of this speech, everybody took a sip in honour of Sam;and Sam having ladled out, and drunk, two full glasses of punch inhonour of himself, returned thanks in a neat speech.

  'Wery much obliged to you, old fellers,' said Sam, ladling away at thepunch in the most unembarrassed manner possible, 'for this herecompliment; which, comin' from sich a quarter, is wery overvelmin'. I'veheered a good deal on you as a body, but I will say, that I neverthought you was sich uncommon nice men as I find you air. I only hopeyou'll take care o' yourselves, and not compromise nothin' o' yourdignity, which is a wery charmin' thing to see, when one's out a-walkin', and has always made me wery happy to look at, ever since I wasa boy about half as high as the brass-headed stick o' my weryrespectable friend, Blazes, there. As to the wictim of oppression in thesuit o' brimstone, all I can say of him, is, that I hope he'll get jistas good a berth as he deserves; in vitch case it's wery little coldswarry as ever he'll be troubled with agin.'

  Here Sam sat down with a pleasant smile, and his speech having beenvociferously applauded, the company broke up.

  'Wy, you don't mean to say you're a-goin' old feller?' said Sam Wellerto his friend, Mr. John Smauker.

  'I must, indeed,' said Mr. Smauker; 'I promised Bantam.'

  'Oh, wery well,' said Sam; 'that's another thing. P'raps he'd resign ifyou disappinted him. You ain't a-goin', Blazes?'

  'Yes, I am,' said the man with the cocked hat.

  'Wot, and leave three-quarters of a bowl of punch behind you!' said Sam;'nonsense, set down agin.'

  Mr. Tuckle was not proof against this invitation. He laid aside thecocked hat and stick which he had just taken up, and said he would haveone glass, for good fellowship's sake.

  As the gentleman in blue went home the same way as Mr. Tuckle, he wasprevailed upon to stop too. When the punch was about half gone, Samordered in some oysters from the green-grocer's shop; and the effect ofboth was so extremely exhilarating, that Mr. Tuckle, dressed out withthe cocked hat and stick, danced the frog hornpipe among the shells onthe table, while the gentleman in blue played an accompaniment upon aningenious musical instrument formed of a hair-comb upon a curl-paper. Atlast, when the punch was all gone, and the night nearly so, they salliedforth to see each other home. Mr. Tuckle no sooner got into the openair, than he was seized with a sudden desire to lie on the curbstone;Sam thought it would be a pity to contradict him, and so let him havehis own way. As the cocked hat would have been spoiled if left there,Sam very considerately flattened it down on the head of the gentleman inblue, and putting the big stick in his hand, propped him up against hisown street-door, rang the
bell, and walked quietly home.

  At a much earlier hour next morning than his usual time of rising, Mr.Pickwick walked downstairs completely dressed, and rang the bell.

  'Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, when Mr. Weller appeared in reply to thesummons, 'shut the door.'

  Mr. Weller did so.

  'There was an unfortunate occurrence here, last night, Sam,' said Mr.Pickwick, 'which gave Mr. Winkle some cause to apprehend violence fromMr. Dowler.'

  'So I've heerd from the old lady downstairs, Sir,' replied Sam.

  'And I'm sorry to say, Sam,' continued Mr. Pickwick, with a mostperplexed countenance, 'that in dread of this violence, Mr. Winkle hasgone away.'

  'Gone avay!' said Sam.

  'Left the house early this morning, without the slightest previouscommunication with me,' replied Mr. Pickwick. 'And is gone, I know notwhere.'

  'He should ha' stopped and fought it out, Sir,' replied Samcontemptuously. 'It wouldn't take much to settle that 'ere Dowler, Sir.'

  'Well, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'I may have my doubts of his greatbravery and determination also. But however that may be, Mr. Winkle isgone. He must be found, Sam. Found and brought back to me.'

  And s'pose he won't come back, Sir?' said Sam.

  'He must be made, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick.

  'Who's to do it, Sir?' inquired Sam, with a smile.

  'You,' replied Mr. Pickwick.

  'Wery good, Sir.'

  With these words Mr. Weller left the room, and immediately afterwardswas heard to shut the street door. In two hours' time he returned withso much coolness as if he had been despatched on the most ordinarymessage possible, and brought the information that an individual, inevery respect answering Mr. Winkle's description, had gone over toBristol that morning, by the branch coach from the Royal Hotel.

  'Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick, grasping his hand, 'you're a capital fellow;an invaluable fellow. You must follow him, Sam.'

  'Cert'nly, Sir,' replied Mr. Weller.

  'The instant you discover him, write to me immediately, Sam,' said Mr.Pickwick. 'If he attempts to run away from you, knock him down, or lockhim up. You have my full authority, Sam.'

  'I'll be wery careful, sir,' rejoined Sam.

  'You'll tell him,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'that I am highly excited, highlydispleased, and naturally indignant, at the very extraordinary course hehas thought proper to pursue.'

  'I will, Sir,' replied Sam.

  'You'll tell him,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'that if he does not come back tothis very house, with you, he will come back with me, for I will comeand fetch him.'

  'I'll mention that 'ere, Sir,' rejoined Sam.

  'You think you can find him, Sam?' said Mr. Pickwick, looking earnestlyin his face.

  'Oh, I'll find him if he's anyvere,' rejoined Sam, with greatconfidence.

  'Very well,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'Then the sooner you go the better.'

  With these instructions, Mr. Pickwick placed a sum of money in the handsof his faithful servitor, and ordered him to start for Bristolimmediately, in pursuit of the fugitive.

  Sam put a few necessaries in a carpet-bag, and was ready for starting.He stopped when he had got to the end of the passage, and walkingquietly back, thrust his head in at the parlour door.

  'Sir,' whispered Sam.

  'Well, Sam,' said Mr. Pickwick.

  'I fully understands my instructions, do I, Sir?' inquired Sam.

  'I hope so,' said Mr. Pickwick.

  'It's reg'larly understood about the knockin' down, is it, Sir?'inquired Sam.

  'Perfectly,' replied Pickwick. 'Thoroughly. Do what you think necessary.You have my orders.'

  Sam gave a nod of intelligence, and withdrawing his head from the door,set forth on his pilgrimage with a light heart.