"youneedn't worry about any funny stuff."
Kyla gave me just the flicker of a grin, and I realized she wasincluding me on the Darkovan side of a joke against this big man who wasso unaware of Darkovan etiquette. But her voice was cool and curt as shesaid, "I'm not worrying," and loosened her heavy coat slightly beforecreeping into the nest of blankets between us.
It was painfully cramped, and chilly in spite of the self-heatingblankets; we crowded close together and Kyla's head rested on myshoulder. I felt her snuggle closely to me, half asleep, hunting for awarm place; and I found myself very much aware of her closeness,curiously grateful to her. An ordinary woman would have protested, ifonly as a matter of form, sharing blankets with two strange men. Irealized that if Kyla had refused to crawl in with us, she would havecalled attention to her sex much _more_ than she did by matter-of-factlybehaving as if she were, in fact, male.
She shivered convulsively, and I whispered, "Side hurting? Are youcold?"
"A little. It's been a long time since I've been at these altitudes,too. What it really is--I can't get those women out of my head."
Kendricks coughed, moving uncomfortably. "I don't understand--thosecreatures who attacked us--all women--?"
I explained briefly. "Among the people of the Sky, as everywhere, morefemales are born than males. But the trailmen's lives are so balancedthat they have no room for extra females within the Nests--the cities.So when a girl child of the Sky People reaches womanhood, the otherwomen drive her out of the city with kicks and blows, and she has towander in the forest until some male comes after her and claims her andbrings her back as his own. Then she can never be driven forth again,although if she bears no children she can be forced to be a servant tohis other wives."
Kendricks made a little sound of disgust.
"You think it cruel," Kyla said with sudden passion, "but in the forestthey can live and find their own food; they will not starve or die. Manyof them prefer the forest life to living in the Nests, and they willfight away any male who comes near them. We who call ourselves humanoften make less provision for our spare women."
She was silent, sighing as if with pain. Kendricks made no reply excepta non-committal grunt. I held myself back by main force from touchingKyla, remembering what she was, and finally said, "We'd better quittalking. The others want to sleep, if we don't."
* * * * *
After a time I heard Kendricks snoring, and Kyla's quiet even breaths. Iwondered drowsily how Jay would have felt about this situation--he whohated Darkover and avoided contact with every other human being, crowdedbetween a Darkovan free-Amazon and half a dozen assorted roughnecks. Iturned the thought off, fearing it might somehow re-arouse him in hisbrain.
But I had to think of something, anything to turn aside thisconsciousness of the woman's head against my chest, her warm breathcoming and going against my bare neck. Only by the severest possible actof will did I keep myself from slipping my hand over her breasts, warmand palpable through the thin sweater, I wondered why Forth had calledme undisciplined. I couldn't risk my leadership by making advances toour contracted guide--woman, Amazon or whatever!
Somehow the girl seemed to be the pivot point of all my thoughts. Shewas not part of the Terran HQ, she was not part of any world Jay Allisonmight have known. She belonged wholly to Jason, to my world. Betweensleep and waking, I lost myself in a dream of skimming flight-wise alongthe tree roads, chasing the distant form of a girl driven from the Nestthat day with blows and curses. Somewhere in the leaves I would find her... and we would return to the city, her head garlanded with the redleaves of a chosen-one, and the same women who had stoned her forthwould crowd about and welcome her when she returned. The fleeing womanlooked over her shoulder with Kyla's eyes; and then the woman's formmuted and Dr. Forth was standing between us in the tree-road, with thecaduceus emblem on his coat stretched like a red staff between us.Kendricks in his Spaceforce uniform was threatening us with a blaster,and Regis Hastur was suddenly wearing Space Service uniform too andsaying, "Jay Allison, Jay Allison," as the tree-road splintered andcracked beneath our feet and we were tumbling down the waterfall anddown and down and down....
"Wake up!" Kyla whispered, and dug an elbow into my side. I opened myeyes on crowded blackness, grasping at the vanishing nightmare. "What'sthe matter?"
"You were moaning. Touch of altitude sickness?"
I grunted, realized my arm was around her shoulder, and pulled itquickly away. After awhile I slept again, fitfully.
* * * * *
Before light we crawled wearily out of the bivouac, cramped and stiffand not rested, but ready to get out of this and go on. The snow washard, in the dim light, and the trail not difficult here. After all thetrouble on the lower slopes, I think even the amateurs had lost theirdesire for adventurous climbing; we were all just as well pleased thatthe actual crossing of Dammerung should be an anticlimax and uneventful.
The sun was just rising when we reached the pass, and we stood for amoment, gathered close together, in the narrow defile between the greatsummits to either side.
Hjalmar gave the peaks a wistful look.
"Wish we could climb them."
Regis grinned at him companionably. "Sometime--and you have the word ofa Hastur, you'll be along on that expedition." The big fellows' eyesglowed. Regis turned to me, and said warmly, "What about it, Jason? Abargain? Shall we all climb it together, next year?"
I started to grin back and then some bleak black devil surged up in me,raging. When this was over, I'd suddenly realized, I wouldn't be there.I wouldn't be anywhere. I was a surrogate, a substitute, a splinter ofJay Allison, and when it was over, Forth and his tactics would put meback into what they considered my rightful place--which was nowhere. I'dnever climb a mountain except now, when we were racing against time andnecessity. I set my mouth in an unaccustomed narrow line and said,"We'll talk about that when we get back--if we ever do. Now I suggest weget going. Some of us would like to get down to lower altitudes."
The trail down from Dammerung inside the ridge, unlike the outsidetrail, was clear and well-marked, and we wound down the slope, walkingin easy single file. As the mist thinned and we left the snow-linebehind, we saw what looked like a great green carpet, interspersed withshining colors which were mere flickers below us. I pointed them out.
"The treetops of the North Forest--and the colors you see are in thestreets of the Trailcity."
An hour's walking brought us to the edge of the forest. We travelledswiftly now, forgetting our weariness, eager to reach the city beforenightfall. It was quiet in the forest, almost ominously still. Over ourhead somewhere, in the thick branches which in places shut out thesunlight completely, I knew that the tree-roads ran crisscross, and nowand again I heard some rustle, a fragment of sound, a voice, a snatch ofsong.
"It's so dark down here," Rafe muttered, "anyone living in this forestwould _have_ to live in the treetops, or go totally blind!"
Kendricks whispered to me, "Are we being followed? Are they going tojump us?"
"I don't think so. What you hear are just the inhabitants of thecity--going about their daily business up there."
"Queer business it must be," Regis said curiously, and as we walkedalong the mossy, needly forest floor, I told him something of thetrailmen's lives. I had lost my fear. If anyone came at us now, I couldspeak their language, I could identify myself, tell my business, name myfoster-parents. Some of my confidence evidently spread to the others.
But as we came into more and more familiar territory, I stopped abruptlyand struck my hand against my forehead.
"I knew we had forgotten something!" I said roughly, "I've been awayfrom here too long, that's all. Kyla."
"What about Kyla?"
The girl explained it herself, in her expressionless monotone. "I am anunattached female. Such women are not permitted in the Nests."
"That's easy, then," Lerrys said. "She must belong to one of us." Hedidn't add a syllable. N
o one could have expected it; Darkovanaristocrats don't bring their women on trips like this, and their womenare not like Kyla.
The three brothers broke into a spate of volunteering, and Rafe made anobscene suggestion. Kyla scowled obstinately, her mouth tight with whatcould have been embarrassment or rage. "If you believe I need yourprotection--!"
"Kyla," I said tersely, "is under _my_ protection. She will beintroduced as my woman--and treated as such."
Rafe twisted his mouth in an un-funny smile. "I see the leader keeps allthe best for himself?"
My face must have done something I didn't know about, for Rafe backedslowly away. I forced myself to speak