My eyes drifted to his hard length and I whimpered slightly, knowing I was going to be filled with him again. He reached for a condom and, again, my heart broke slightly. That hidden knowledge he didn’t want kids bothered me more than I was willing to admit. For now, though, I wouldn’t think about it. All I needed was Brett.
Once he sheathed himself, he slowly pushed inside of me, drawing out a low growl from the back of his throat that vibrated through my entire body.
Taking my hands, he held them above my head as he made love to me. My mind drifted to the day he said he didn’t make love. That he hadn’t found the one person he felt he could make love to.
And here he was.
Making love to me.
It was almost too much for me to take as I stared into his eyes. Brett Owens had taken my heart and I was positive he would own it for the rest of my life. He moved and hit the spot only he seemed to know.
With a gasp, I felt myself falling apart as he pushed his lips to mine and we came together.
The last two days had been pure bliss. I’d never had so much fun in my life as when I spent time with Brett. Today we rented bicycles and were riding around Lady Bird Lake. Mine had a basket attached to it and I imagined it to be like something my grandmother would have rode when she was my age.
“How about there?” Brett asked, pointing to a large oak. Smiling, I followed him over to the large tree. Brett spread out the blanket as I placed our lunch down on it.
If someone had told me a few months ago I’d be having a picnic under a tree with Brett Owens, I would have laughed in their face.
Chicken salad sandwiches, fresh fruit, and a bottle of wine.
Perfection couldn't describe it.
Pulling out the plastic cups, Brett poured us each a glass of wine. Handing me mine, he winked. “How do you feel about public sex?”
I choked on my drink. “Excuse me?”
“You know. This tree, you up against it, my cock pounding your sweet, tight pussy.” He wiggled his eyebrows as I stared at him. Bastard. He still could shock me.
I was about to say something when a female voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Brett? Oh my gosh, Brett it really is you!”
My gaze lifted to see a beautiful blonde standing before us.
Brett jumped up. “Nicole?”
My heart dropped. His ex.
“My goodness you look great!” she stated as her eyes roamed his body. Clearly she still desired him with the way she eye-fucked him.
Brett looked stunned. As if he wasn’t sure how he should be reacting. “I thought you moved?”
“I did, but decided I missed Austin too much. I thought about calling, but I know how we left things, so I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do.”
My heart felt pained as I watched him with her. This was the woman he married. A woman he claimed he wasn’t even sure he loved … yet he married her. The fact that he didn’t want that with me suddenly hit me full force. All those thoughts rained down on me all at once.
I wanted marriage. I wanted a family. I wanted all of that with Brett. But he didn’t feel the same. What made him want it with her … but not me?
Nicole glanced down to me, which seemed to cause Brett to snap out of his moment of utter shock.
“Um, Nicole, this is my girlfriend, Aubrey. Aubrey, this is Nicole.”
Standing, I felt like I had won a small victory since he hadn’t introduced her as his ex-wife but made sure she knew I was his girlfriend. But would I always be just the girlfriend?
Nicole held her hand out and gave me a fake smile. “It’s nice meeting you.”
I could hear the hate in her voice as she stared at me. “Same here, Nicole.”
You could practically cut the tension in the air with a knife. She looked me over and then glanced down to the picnic.
“Well, it seems like you found the girl to bring out the romantic in you.” She looked between us and back to me. Was Brett not romantic with his own wife? “You’re a very lucky girl. I should know, I’ve been in your shoes.”
Frowning, I stared at her. Who says something like that? Brett cleared his throat, causing her to look back at him.
“Well, it was great seeing you again, Brett. Maybe we can get together for lunch sometime.”
“I don’t think so, Nic.”
Ugh. He had a nickname for her.
Her eyes looked sad. “Brett, I need you to know something.”
My heart started pounding as I wondered what in the hell she could possibly have to say.
“If I could go back, I would give you the things you wanted.”
Brett grunted. “If you’ll excuse us, we’re having lunch.”
He took Nicole by the arm and walked her away from me. He said something to her then turned and made his way back over to me. I wasn’t sure why, but I was frozen in my place as I watched her retreating.
What had she meant by if she could give him the things he wanted. Kids? Was that what she was talking about? The thought made me sick, especially knowing he didn't want that with me.
“Bree? Are you going to sit back down?”
Snapping out of my daze, I sank to the blanket. Brett took a drink of wine and said, “Sorry about that. I never imagined I’d be running into her again.”
I tried so hard to push it all from my mind, but I couldn’t. Brett had given me conditions up front with our relationship. I knew he didn’t want marriage or a family. Yet, the idea of letting him go, at that time, was too painful and I went along with it. Content to just wait. But how long could I wait? I wasn’t getting any younger.
“Will you ever want to marry me?”
Brett looked at me with a stunned expression. “What?”
“It’s not a hard question, Brett.”
He narrowed his brows. “We’ve already talked about this. I’m not ready for that kind of commitment yet.”
“What if I am?”
His mouth opened, but he quickly shut it. “What did she mean she would have given you everything you asked for? Why were you ready for marriage and a family with her, but not me?”
Brett let out a frustrated groan as he laced his fingers through his messy dark hair. “Aubrey, things with you are very different than how they were with Nicole.”
“So are you saying you don’t love me enough to marry me and want kids, but you did with her?”
“No! I’m not saying that all. Where I’m at right now in my life, I can’t commit to marriage and kids. I mean look at us. We don’t even live in the same fucking town. How often will we see each other? Every few weeks? What do you want, to get married and pop out a baby and then what? Leave her with someone else to take care of her while we work our asses off and travel every week. Is that what you want?”
My stomach flipped. He said her. A little girl. I imagined holding a baby in my arms as I rocked on the front porch.
Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I responded. “Yes. That is what I want, Brett. I thought I could wait, but I need to know that it’s something you’ll want as well.”
A look of horror flashed over his face. “Bree, I don’t … I can’t. I don’t even know where my own life is going right now, and to bring a wife and child into a future I’m not even sure is not fair to you.”
Standing, I swallowed hard. “What are we doing? It’s clear you’re uncertain about our future, and maybe this long distance thing wasn’t a great idea. I guess I didn’t realize I needed more from you.”
Brett jumped up. “What? Aubrey, why are you all of sudden giving me an ultimatum? We just started dating for Christ’s sake, and you want me to marry you and have a kid? Why can’t we work on this? Us?”
I shook my head. “I’m not asking you to do that right now! I’m asking you to tell me there is a possibility of it, Brett.”
“Is this because of Nicole and what she said? That part of my life was another world. Aubrey, I can’t decide what my future is going to be right now. Not wi
th everything up in the air.”
“What’s up in the air, Brett? What are you not telling me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
My mouth fell open. “You don’t want to talk about it? Well whatever it is that you don’t want to talk about it is affecting my future as well, and fuck if I don't want to talk about.”
“Bree, why all of sudden are you doing this?”
My chin trembled. “Maybe because I realize I want things you don’t.”
Brett’s eyes searched my face. “I can’t give you what you so clearly want right now, so maybe your right.”
My stomach dropped and dread filled my body. “So that’s it. Are we breaking up?”
He didn’t utter a word as he stared into my eyes. It was as if he was having an internal struggle, and I wanted to grab him and scream for him to tell me what he was thinking. But he stood there … not saying a word.
Forcing myself not to cry, I replied, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I quickly got on the bike and peddled away from the one man I knew I loved more than the air I breathed. The only man I’ve ever gotten drunk from his kisses.
The worse part was, he didn’t even try to come after me.
He let me go.
Knowing I wasn’t even worth a fight was the ultimate slap in the face.
STARING OUT OVER the mountains of Wyoming, I took in a slow deep breath and exhaled. The very last bit of snow barely sat atop the mountains. I loved this place. More than I ever wanted to admit. My eyes had been opened to what my heart truly wanted. One was in reach, the other I let go without even trying to fight for her.
“Your mom said you’d be here.”
Turning, I gave Annie a weak grin.
“Hey, Annie.”
Her horse stopped next to mine where she remained quiet for a few minutes.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I replied.
She chuckled. There was no way she was going to let this go. I’d known Annie since I could remember coming up here. Her dad was the ranch foreman and was getting ready to retire. The main reason my father was thinking of either selling or having Mac run this place. Fuck that. I’d never let Mac touch this place. This was mine. I just never realized how much it was mine until the idea of it being gone was pushed in my face, by none other than by Mac himself. I loved the ranch in Texas, but there was something about Wyoming. The mountains, the streams, the fresh air.
I loved it here more than any place on earth.
“Well, we’re going to talk about it. I’ve known you my whole life, Brett. And I’ve never seen you this depressed. Why did you let her go?”
My head snapped over to look at her. “Been talking to my Mom?”
With a wide grin, she nodded.
“What all has she told you?”
Annie looked straight ahead. “That she’d never seen you so happy before. And how amazing Aubrey is.”
“She is amazing.”
I could feel the heat of her stare. “So why did you let her go, Brett?”
I slowly shook my head. “Because she wanted things I couldn’t give her right now.”
“Such as?”
“Marriage, a family.”
Annie chuckled. “Brett, I know you want those things too.”
Letting out a frustrated groan, I turned to her. “How can I promise her a future when I have no clue what mine is going to be? Will I be coaching in Austin next year or will I be living here in Wyoming? I have no clue. A part of me has always known I would be taking over the ranch, either this one or the one in Texas. Do you really think she is going to want to be married to someone who runs a cattle ranch? And with dad not feeling well lately, it might be sooner rather than later. With her job and how much she travels, we’d never see each other. I’ve already tried that before, remember? And that wasn’t with me living in the middle of Wyoming. You can’t come and go very easily here, Annie, and you know it.”
Annie nodded. “I do remember. If my memory is right, you also didn’t love Nicole like you love Aubrey.”
I knew she was right. “She has her whole life ahead of her, Annie. I can’t expect her to let me whisk her away from her family, friends, and her career, while I take care of the ranch. I love her too much for that. Besides, the last time I felt pressured into marriage look what happened.”
“If you truly loved her, you would have let her make that decision for herself, Brett Owens. You’re being an asshole. A stubborn asshole. I’m guessing she isn’t asking you to marry her right now, but to know that it’s something in the future. That isn’t so much to ask for.”
Shooting her a go-to-hell look, I huffed. “Her father just had a heart attack. She got a huge promotion at work and she’s working on trying to get on the NFL sideline. I won’t take that away from her, and I won’t live two separate lives. I thought at first, maybe if she moved to Austin, we could make it work. Then everything changed. I started questioning if football was really what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and I’m worried.”
“Your dad?”
With a grim look on my face I turned back to the mountains. “I have a bad feeling and I can’t shake it. It’s been with me since I brought Aubrey to Marfa.”
“Have you talked to him?”
I shook my head. “No. Not about that.” Letting out a frustrated sigh, I mumbled. “Fuck. When I brought Aubrey home to Marfa, something in me changed, Annie. I realized how much I missed the ranch. How much I missed working with my dad. Maybe that’s why I avoided going home, because I knew deep down it was what I truly wanted.”
“Brett, don’t you think maybe it had something to do with Aubrey being with you there as well?”
With a shrug, I answered. “Maybe. But I love football. Fuck, I love it. I love coaching. Putting on those headsets and feeling the excitement from the crowd. It’s a rush.”
“Then don’t give it up.”
Turning to her, I felt my test tighten. “For once in my life, there are other things more important than football.”
She smiled. “The ranch?”
“And, something else I’m afraid I lost before I ever really had her. Aubrey.”
Walking into my father’s office, I smiled at the view in front of me. The back wall was almost floor to ceiling windows. The view to the mountains looked like a picture.
The moment I found out Mac was trying to push his way in further with the ranch, I made it known to my father, I wanted that job. Not Mac. Both of these ranches were in my blood. I’d been putting football above my family for far too long. Things were about to change.
“How you feeling?” I asked, making my way over to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Glancing up, he grinned. “I’m feeling fine.”
My father had beat prostate cancer not too long ago so anytime he wasn’t feeling well, I worried.
I took a seat. “Have you thought anymore about what we talked about last night?”
Leaning back in his chair, he looked at me. “I have. Brett, you’re talking about walking away from something you have dreamed about and worked your ass off for. Why? Because your worried Mac is going to move in.” He moved forward and stared into my eyes. “Son, this ranch is yours. The ranch in Texas is yours. Anytime you want it, but don’t do this because you think I’m not capable of handling it anymore or someone is going to take it out from under you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that, Dad. What I know, is that I’ve been denying something that has been a part of my life since I can remember. Football was my dream. I won’t deny that, and I made it the NFL and chose to leave. I made it as a college football coach and took my school to the National Championship three years in a row. I’ve lived football for so long, Dad. The endless driving you and Mom did for select playing. Walking away from a family tradition. I love football, yes, but I’ve ignored the two people who mean the most to me.”
“Is this beca
use Mac said you weren’t here during the cancer? From what I understand, the two of you really went after each other.”
Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I replied, “It has something to do with it, yes. But that’s not the only reason. Being in Marfa a few weeks back opened my eyes to how much I want this life.”
He lifted his brow. “And what about Aubrey?”
My heart felt like someone gripped it with a vice. “I can’t think about that right now. What I need to be thinking about is if I’m going to be coaching college football next year, or running one of these ranches.”
The look on my father’s face turned serious. “Brett, I really think we need to sell one. The job of running two cattle ranches has been crazy, and the only reason I could do it was because Dalton was running this ranch. Besides you, he is the only person I trust taking on this place full-time. With him retiring, I don’t think I could trust it to anyone else.”
With a nod, I looked down and thought about what my father had said. I knew what I had to do. I needed to put my parents first, above all else.
“You’ve always talked about living up here in the summer and Hawaii in the winter.”
Letting out a roar of laughter, he agreed. “Yes, that’s been a dream of your mother’s and mine for a while.”
“Sell the Marfa ranch, I’ll run this one and you and mom can do just that. Dad, you’ve been working these ranches since you were twelve-years old. It’s time to take a break.”
He furrowed his brows and gave me a hardened stare. “You would be able to walk away from everything you built?”
“Yes, because I’d be walking toward everything you built and grandad built, and his dad! This ranch has been in our family a hell of a lot longer than the Marfa ranch. I’ve always talked about living here, Dad.”
His face softened. I could see the years of hard work in his eyes. He was tired. He’d work himself into the grave if he thought he had to.
“Sell the Marfa ranch, huh?”