Glancing down to the floor, I nodded. “Annie, do you remember that baby deer we found?”
With a chuckle, she bumped my shoulder. “Yes. We nursed it back to health.”
With a grin, I thought back to how much Annie loved that fawn. “You remember the day we let it go? What my father said to us?”
Her smile faded. “If we loved it, we had to let it go.”
“I love her too much to ask her to walk away from her dreams.”
She shook her head. “I get that, Brett. But that was a deer! This is the woman you love and I know she loves you. You have to let her decide if she’s going to walk away or not.”
Leaning over, I kissed her on the forehead. “I’m exhausted, Annie. The only thing I can think about right now is Dad.”
Standing, she reached for my hand. “Promise me you’ll call her, Brett. Call her and let her know what’s happening with your dad at the very least.”
Feeling my chest squeeze, I knew she was right. Maybe what I thought was the right thing to do, was really just me being scared of my feelings for Aubrey. She freaked me the fuck out by pushing me into answering her marriage and family question. Even though deep down inside I knew she was the only woman I’d ever truly love.
“I’ll call her right now.”
Jumping up, she threw her arms around me. Whispering in my ear, she said, “Use that dirty talk on her.”
Laughing, I pushed her back and headed up stairs. After shutting my bedroom door, I took out my phone and pulled up Aubrey’s name.
Hitting her number, I took a deep breath.
When her voicemail started, I closed my eyes. The sound of her voice felt like a warm blanket covering my body.
Fuck, I missed her.
“Leave your message after the beep.”
“Hey … Aubrey, it’s Brett. I um … miss you. I’m in Wyoming. It’s my dad. Anyway, I don’t want to tell you in a voicemail. If you get a chance, will you give me a call back? Thanks.”
Hitting End, I set my phone on the side table and crawled into bed. I did what I told Annie I would do. Now the ball was in Aubrey’s court. How she played it was totally up to her.
“Brett? Darling, why don’t you head on over to the hotel and get some sleep?”
Stretching, I caught my mother’s gaze. She looked tired.
“Nah, I nodded off for a few minutes, but I’m good, Mom. Why don’t you head on over and get some sleep?”
“Why don’t you both leave and get some sleep?”
Jumping up, I followed my mother over to the side of my dad’s bed. “Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”
My father’s blue eyes met mine. “Thirsty.”
“I’ll go get some cold water.”
Quickly making my way out of the room, I ran into the night nurse. “Hey, I was coming in there to check on everyone.”
With a huge grin, I said, “He woke up and is thirsty.”
“Ice chips first, then water.”
I lifted my brows. “He’s going to be pissed … you know that, right?”
Scrunching her nose up, she shrugged. “Then I’ll be the bad guy. You get the chips and I’ll deliver the news.”
With a chuckle, I made my way into the small kitchen area and got a cup full of ice chips. Joanne was the night nurse and had been so kind to Mom and me. Before walking back out, I checked my phone. I’d called Aubrey last night and still hadn’t heard back from her. The ache in my chest and the silence on my phone was the tell-tale sign she was most likely over me.
Sighing, I pushed it back into my pocket and made my way to my father’s room. By the time I got back, the doctor was already there, speaking to my parents.
“I feel really good about the surgery. We did preliminary tests on the surrounding tissue and there are no signs the cancer has spread.”
It felt as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Peeking over to my mother, I saw her let out the breath she had been holding.
“I hope you are planning on taking it easy for a few weeks,” the doctor said, looking directly at my father.
Guilt washed over my body knowing I would be heading back to Texas in a few days.
My father looked at me, almost as if he knew what was going through my mind.
“I plan on resting, don’t worry. I’ve asked my foreman to take over everything until Brett finishes out his season.”
The doctor looked at me. “You’re leaving Austin?”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “Yes, sir. My place is next to my father, doing what’s in my blood. Ranching.”
He grinned. “Well, I’m sure they’ll miss you. You’ve done a fine job done there, Brett. Who knows, you might get into coaching again someday.”
With a quick nod, I replied, “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. I guess you can never say never.”
He chuckled and agreed. “That’s right. Okay, get some rest, Joseph. I’ll be back in tomorrow morning.”
After the room cleared out, it was only the two of us. Sitting, I scrubbed my hands down my face and took in a deep breath.
“Don’t give up your life because of this, son.”
Dropping my hands to my sides, I looked at my father. “I’m not giving up my life, Dad. I promise you that. It took me a bit of time to figure out what I truly loved in life. For years I’ve been living this sort of, Peter Pan existence. It was football and sex. That’s all I cared about.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t let your mother know all that gossip about you was true.”
With a curt laugh, I shook my head. “Then Aubrey came into my life, and my world literally was turned upside down in a matter of weeks.”
“Have you talked to her?”
“I called her. Left a message, but she hasn’t called me back. I don’t blame her, really. I acted like a dick. It’s been months since she left.”
My father reached his hand out, prompting me to take it. “Well, it takes two to tango. I’m sure you both did and said things you wish you could take back. Don’t worry, son. She’ll call. Don’t give up.”
Trying to smile, I didn’t feel as confident as my father. I knew Aubrey, and I knew she always had her phone with her and she would have called by now, especially with me missing the game. Trying to push the sick feeling in my stomach away, I changed the subject.
“So, are you ready for me to work side by side with you, old man?”
“I’ve never been more ready, son.”
The way his face lit up, I knew I was making the right decision. Not only for me, but for my father.
My phone buzzed and I looked down to see Troy was calling. “Dad, let me grab this.”
He closed his eyes and I hoped the few moments of peace would allow him to fall back asleep.
Walking out into the hall, I answered the call.
“Hey, Troy. What’s up?”
“Nothing, I wanted to check in and see how your dad was doing.”
My heart warmed at the kind gesture. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends. Really, I only had two I fully trusted. Troy and Pat. I knew I was leaving my team in good hands with Troy. “He’s doing great. It looks like the cancer didn’t spread, but we’ll know for sure when the rest of the tests come back.”
“That’s great news, Brett. I’m really happy for y’all.”
I could hear something was off in his voice. “What’s wrong?”
Clearing his throat, he replied, “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you or not.”
My heart dropped. “Did someone get hurt? I’ll kill someone if they got hurt.”
“It’s not about the team. It’s something I heard about Aubrey.”
My breath hitched. “Aubrey?”
“Yeah, apparently she’s dating someone.”
It felt like I had been hit by a truck. I felt dizzy and had to grab onto the wall to hold myself up.
“Wh-what? How do you know?”
“I overheard someone saying she was dating some NFL analyst who also worked at ESPN. D
ude, I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but I know if it were me, I’d want to know.”
The air in my lungs felt heavy. Joanne walked up with a smile on her face. It dropped the moment she saw me. “Brett, are you okay?”
“Who’s that?” Troy asked.
“The nurse,” I mumbled.
My head was spinning.
Aubrey’s dating someone. That explains why she didn’t call me back.
She’s moved on.
Holy shit. I waited too long.
She’s. Moved. On.
SITTING IN THE conference room, I sent Michelle a text.
Me: Will you grab me a coffee? I have a feeling this is going to be long.
Michelle: Done.
I’d been the first one in the room and was able to get caught up on a few emails. I’d sent one to Pat, in an attempt to find out anything about Brett and why he had missed that game against Oklahoma last month. No one had any clue as to why he missed it. The U of A was keeping it tight-lipped, which led me to believe Brett was looking at moving to the NFL. I knew he was highly sought after by a few team owners. I’d attempted to call him a number of times, but guilt swept over me every time I tried.
My gaze lifted as Holly and Jen walked into the room. Two other sideline reporters. Both were laughing.
“Hey girls,” I said with a grin.
Holly waved and slid down onto a chair. “Hi, Aubrey! How’s it going?”
Jen sat opposite of her on the other side of the table. “Hey, Aubrey, you ready for the holidays?”
Nodding, I answered, “Yes. I’m mostly excited to spend some time with my new baby nephew. He’ll be a month old next week.”
Both women smiled at me before I went back to reading an email.
“So, guess who’s back to his normal self again?” Holly remarked.
Jen asked, “Who?”
“Brett Owens.”
My head snapped up. Both of them were taking out their laptops and didn’t notice my reaction.
Jen chuckled. “For a while there, the rumors were he had finally settled down.”
Holly typed in her password and replied, “Well, he must not be anymore. After my interview with him, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner. Then he said something pretty naughty and I’ll admit it, I blushed. I don’t know how you dealt with him for so long, Aubrey. The man is sex on a stick.”
Jen leaned forward and I found myself doing the same thing. “What did he say?” Jen asked.
Holly looked between us and giggled. “He asked if I wanted to a part of a threesome, me, him, and Kasey Vaugh from Fox Sports.”
My stomach turned.
“No way,” Jen gasped with a chuckle.
Jen looked at me. “How many times did he ask you that, Aubrey?”
Trying to recover from my shocked state, I focused on keeping my voice straight. “Um, never. He never said anything like that to me.”
With a wave of her hands, Holly laughed. “Well, he was clearly kidding, but let me tell you, for a second, I honestly thought about it!”
Both of them busted out laughing. “How … how do you know he was um … he was kidding?”
Holly glanced over to me. “Oh, he leaned closer and said he was totally kidding. But not about dinner. I declined, though. I did see him talking to Kasey, though. They actually left together, so I’m sure she got her some of that.”
She wiggled her eyebrows and I quickly stood up. “Excuse me for a moment.”
Quickly leaving the room, I almost ran into Michelle with our coffees. “What’s the matter with you?” she asked as I placed my hand over my mouth and ran to the restroom.
Five minutes later, I heard the door open.
“He didn’t sleep with Kasey.”
Wiping my tears away, I tried to talk normal. “I don’t care if he did.”
“Uh-huh. Well according to Holly and Jen, you looked like you just lost your favorite dog. Now they’re both asking if something happened between the two of you.”
Stepping out of the stall, I glared at her. “You didn’t tell them did you?”
Pinching her eyebrows together, she answered, “Of course I didn’t.”
I stepped around her and went to the sink. Staring at myself in the mirror, I shook my head. “I’m so stupid. How could I honestly think I’d get over the only man I’ve ever truly loved by sleeping with another guy?”
Michelle leaned next to the sink and I was instantly brought back to the day I found out I was going to be interviewing Brett. I had come full circle.
“How are things going with you and Logan by the way?”
Tears built in my eyes and I forced myself not to go there. Michelle never liked Logan or me dating him. She never could understand why Brett and I didn’t talk about our feelings. Something I questioned for the last few months. Were we both stubborn or just plain stupid?
“They’re okay. Things changed after we slept together.”
Turning to face me, she leaned her hip on the sink. “What do you mean?”
Pressing my lips together, I fought to keep my voice sounding strong. “I don’t know, Michelle. I really thought I was going to be able to move on. Taking my relationship with Logan to the next level seemed like the right thing to do at the time. We had been dating a few months, he was super patient, it was a romantic setting. I mean, I was staying in the same house as my parents, but we snuck off to the pool house and… and …”
Lifting her brows, she asked, “And?”
“At one point, I almost asked him to stop. I felt guilty, like I was cheating on Brett. It was awkward, nothing like…”
“Brett? Well my God, girl. Have you forgotten what Brett looks like? How he made you feel? Did Logan not make you feel anything like that? He must have made you feel something if you took it to the next level.”
Wiping the tear that slipped from my eye away, I shook my head frantically. “Nothing. I’ve been trying so hard to feel something stronger. Anything. I feel like I’ve simply settled.”
With a frown, Michelle pushed off the sink. “Then break up with him.”
“I care about him, don’t get me wrong. And when I think I’ve moved past Brett, something or someone reminds me about him and I feel like I’m right back to that day in the park.”
“He hasn’t tried to call or text?”
Biting my lip, I felt my chin tremble. “No,” I whispered.
“Have you tried calling him?”
My head dropped. “No,” I whispered. “I’ve felt too guilty.”
The door to the bathroom opened and Holly poked her head in.
I had quickly wiped my tears away and plastered on a fake smile. “Hey, Joe’s ready to start.”
Smoothing out my pencil skirt, I looked in the mirror and adjusted my hair. My eyes were bloodshot red now. Great. Holly walked up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Aubrey, he didn’t sleep with Kasey. She showed up at the hotel bar and said Brett freaked out on her. He kissed her, but then pulled away and said he couldn’t do it. He ended up leaving her in the hallway of the hotel. They didn’t even make it to the room.”
My heart raced in my chest.
Hugging her, I whispered, “Thanks, Holly.”
I followed my co-workers back into the conference room and put on my everything is fine face. Joe talked about the upcoming championship games, as well as the holidays. I’d be covering the University of Austin against Baylor game. That was a given. I simply nodded and acted like I was taking down notes.
The only thing on my mind was why Brett turned Kasey Vaugh down and what would he think of me if he knew I had been in a relationship for a few months and had slept with Logan. Granted, we’d only slept together the one time. I’d used every excuse under the sun not to sleep with him again. I had a feeling he knew something was wrong.
I knew what I had to do.
As much as it would hurt me to let go of such a great guy, I knew I didn’t love Logan and I couldn’t see a future with him.
Looking down at the piece of paper, I held my breath at the note I wrote.
“Rick, we need to make sure we get up there and get to Owens before Fox does,” I said.
Nodding, Rick took another bite of salmon. “Got it. Jesus, Aubrey, can you not just enjoy the fancy dinner we’re at? We can go over all this tomorrow before the game.”
With a frustrated groan, I rolled my eyes. I hated these dinners. It was nothing but ESPN big shots, a few NFL players, and some coaches. If one more football player hit on me, I swear I was going to kick someone in the balls.
Glancing around the room, I smiled politely when Joel Nickerson, the Denver quarterback winked at me.
Ugh.
This was my payback from asking Holly to cover my game during my sister’s wedding. I wasn’t really so sure Marie was worth this.
“You know how I feel about these dinners,” I sighed. We attended so many functions I had started to lose count on which one was which.
Rick laughed. “Yep, I know. Tomorrow you’ll be on the sidelines doing what you love most.”
His words felt like someone has punched me in the stomach. Was this what I loved most? I didn’t know anymore. Logan had all but told me I’d be moved up to the NFL next year. But why? Because I had slept with him, or because I had earned it? Did I even want that anymore? A year ago, I would have said hell yes.
Now? Now, I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
I absentmindedly said, “Yeah. Doing what I love most. What dinner is this anyway?”
Rick chuckled. “Shit, Aubrey. You should know what freaking dinner we’re at. It’s the college coaches’ dinner.”
My stomach dropped. Why did I think that was next week?
Quickly glancing around, I said, “I’m going to mingle for a bit, Rick.”
He lifted his hand to dismiss me as he reached for another hors d’oeuvre that the waiter walking by had on his tray. “I’ll be here … eating.”
With a chortle, I made my way through people. Instead of going out and buying a gown for the dinner, I wore the simple curve-hugging dress I had worn in my sister’s wedding. It was beige and I could have kissed Marie when she picked out dresses I knew I could get a second or third use out of.