"She is, indeed." Victoria smiled then, beaming at Ian as if he were some hero of old.
Grant's breath whistled out. He'd seen her smirks and sneers, but her smile...Her teeth were perfect and white, her eyes lit up, and God help him, she had a beguiling dimple in her cheek. Even Ian seemed taken aback and looked to Grant for direction. Now, with her cheeks rosy from sleep, her hair curling in thick white and golden strands all about her shoulders, the dip between her breasts bare--he had no defense against this....
Would Ian?
Her shirt was open. He pinned a flat hand over her chest.
She gave him a fierce look, slapped at him, then tumbled away.
Ian was struggling not to laugh.
Grant snapped, "We'll be in the camp shortly. Since Miss Scott's on board, have her choose some clothes for Victoria from the trunk I brought."
"I live to serve." Ian flashed one last grin and turned to go.
"Ian?" Grant called. "I can trust you won't say anything about this?"
Ian turned and placed a hand over his heart. "You wound me. Would I betray a confidence?" He ambled away, snickering.
They were ruined.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he cast about for something to say. "You moved to my bed last night."
She gave him a nasty look. "No, you moved to mine!"
He had. Christ, this was awkward.
She was looking away, bundled in her cover, knees to her chest. He grasped his forehead with one hand. "I apologize for this. It should never have happened. It won't happen again."
She waved his words away. "You keep saying that, and yet you keep touching me and kissing me."
His shame turned to anger. "I believe you were touching me quite enthusiastically as well."
"I was half asleep!"
He'd let her have her lie. "I need to get dressed."
This time instead of making a derisive comment about propriety, she grabbed her clothes and dashed from the room.
When he descended, he found her dressed, staring at the Keveral.
"We're leaving today?" she questioned softly as though she didn't believe it.
"With the next tide."
"And you will stop in Cape Town?"
He hesitated, tempted to remind her that she was in no position to make demands, but finally answered, "Just long enough for Miss Scott to see a doctor."
"Leaving today," she mumbled again, her face pale. Never taking her eyes from the ship, she said, "I have to get some things before I go."
"Then you've got the rest of the morning. I'll accompany you."
"No." She shook her head. "I want to be alone."
Unfortunately, Grant knew her request was reasonable, but he didn't want to let her out of his sight. "Very well." She'd think she was alone.
He gave her a head start, then followed, sure that she would have sensed him behind her if she hadn't been so distressed. Just when he'd decided that she did know he'd trailed her and was purposely dawdling, doing nothing, probably talking to flowers, she entered a clearing.
He found her kneeling by a makeshift cross, marking what was obviously her mother's grave. He remained hidden, watching her tearfully whispering, wincing when her small shoulders shook.
The realization of what Grant was taking Victoria away from hit him hard. She was leaving more than just the island, or even a way of life.
He'd begun thinking of her as a prize, a goal, a means to an end. Now he saw her as a young woman who hurt. Someone who was under his care, but was afraid.
She opened an old wooden box placed by the grave, and from inside she took a length of twine with something on the end, like an amulet. When she placed it around her neck, he knew that she would indeed leave with him, and so he crept away, truly allowing her privacy.
Two hours later, Victoria returned with a box of mementos and a motley collection of seashells. He found her at the edge of the beach, regarding him and the men packing up the camp with uneasy eyes. He gathered up the clothes sent from the ship and met her there.
She stared at the bundle he pressed on her as if it were incomprehensible.
"Do you remember--?"
"I remember," she whispered.
"I'll stay here in case you need help."
Mechanically, gaze forward, she began undressing.
He twisted around. "And I'll turn to give you privacy."
"I'm done," she said minutes later, her voice flat.
He faced her, unnerved by what he saw.
This morning, he'd encountered her first smile. Later, he'd realized he'd never wondered how she felt about all this. Now, another blow--garbed in a light-blue day-dress, she looked like such a lady, such a young lady, that his shame deepened. This morning, the way he'd touched her...It seemed inconceivable as he considered her in that dress.
He frowned. She fidgeted with it, though it fit her slim form well, with straight narrow sleeves and a tightly gathered waist. A large, fussy bow sat on the neckline and clearly irritated her. She ripped it off, leaving a smooth, clean bodice, and looked at him, daring him to say something, but he thought it much better. She needed no embellishments.
Victoria glanced out at the ship and her face tightened. Something about her, with her fire banked and her considerable pride tempered, touched him. He'd finally figured out that he was attracted to her strength. And now to her vulnerability as well? When was he not attracted to her?
Even when her body trembled, she raised her chin. And he'd be damned if he wasn't proud of her.
Tori stared at her home, overcome that she would never see this place again. She felt as hollow as the island seemed, though not much had changed here. They weren't, after all, packing up, but it was lifeless just the same. Haunting, even.
"Victoria, it's time," Sutherland said, his tone emotionless.
Unable to move away, she was startled when he picked her up, until she recalled that women were always conveyed over the water. Sutherland was ever the gentleman, carrying her with a detached politeness that belied his passion just hours before.
He handed her into the boat to the small man, Dooley, as though she were fragile china. She stiffened and scrambled to her seat. Some of the sailors regarded her with curiosity, some smiled. She thought Sutherland glowered at anyone who looked at her, but she could have imagined that.
Being around his crew made her uneasy, but that feeling was blunted by the numbness of leaving. When they pushed off and the oars sliced into the water, the overwhelming scent of jasmine was lost to her for the first time in years. Her island grew smaller. She could see flocks of birds like dots, suspended over the trees, and cascades like silver threads fluttering to the ground. For all the dangers and hardships they'd faced there, her home still looked like heaven.
Too quickly, they reached the ship. Sutherland took her hand, helping her up to stand below the ladder as they bobbed with the waves. When her feet rested on the first rung, she turned back to him. He climbed up as well, standing next to her, steadying her.
"It's nothing to be afraid of," he said for her ears only.
"I'm not afraid," she whispered to him. But she didn't move. She craned her neck up to see the ladder crawling on and on up the side of the ship. If a person should fall from that height...
He patted her shoulder awkwardly. "Come, now, Victoria. We need to be off."
Anger drowned the worst of her fear. His detached politeness for the crew--so they wouldn't suspect he'd been fondling her throughout the night--riled her.
She climbed easily, even in her godforsaken dress, with him just down and to the side of her the entire way. She'd resolved not to look down, and finally made it to the deck, clutching the rail like a lifeline. While the others stepped aboard and raised and stowed the boat, Grant gave out orders.
She paused, moved with the ship, then sank down miserably in a heap of skirts. Tori smelled the moist sails and hempen ropes, and memories crept over her mind like a film. She remembered the old captain of the Serendi
pity had told her once that from the minute a ship met water it began decaying, dying.
"Weigh the anchor." Sutherland's voice was toneless. Dead.
Not yet. Not yet! As they made sail and lurched forward, she clambered up to see her island, sitting so serene and sure.
The movement of the ship, sliding under her like a slick embankment, made her stomach twist. She retched but didn't shame herself. Tears blinded her eyes. No control. Tori almost laughed in her panic--tossed about like a ship at sea...
All her anger and fear rose in her, threatening to strangle her. She remembered the horror when she and Cammy had looked about them on the island on that first night.
No idea where to find water. No idea where to search for food. A dawning comprehension of doom when Mother finally succumbed to the pain--the low, stifled cries. Seeing Cammy bloody herself on those damn flints to make a fire for Mother. Seeing something in Cammy fade when she failed that wet, gusty night and darken altogether, nearly a year later, when she dropped the bloodied rock next to the captain's limp body.
Tori's hand shot to the string around her neck, fingers digging in her dress to yank out her mother's wedding ring. Cammy took it from her dead finger because Mother told her to.
All of the memories welled in her like a long-capped fountain ready to explode.
Tori had had a life-or-death situation thrust onto her, and she'd adapted. She turned narrowed eyes on Grant. Here this man was using her to further himself, and in doing so was snatching her from one life and shoving her headlong into another.
When would she have some control over her fate? Fear warred with a fury so hot it scalded inside. So loud, she heard nothing but her pumping heart.
The ship bucked as the wind snapped the sails taut, making her insides feel wrenched, and the island grew hazier in the distance. She stood, tottered forward, and grabbed at the wheelhouse.
"Victoria, Miss Scott will show you to your cabin," Sutherland said from behind her. When she turned to him, he frowned at her. "Camellia's just here."
She vaguely heard him. In her mind, his mouth moved slowly--really no words came out. Her eyelids grew heavy and then she was spinning, able to see the sun straight above her. A loud thud sounded somewhere near her. She heard Cammy screech, and noticed the side of her head ached unbearably. She wanted to cry. The captain spoke again, only this time his words came from just beside her, not commanding but asking. "Victoria, please open your eyes."
When she struggled to open them, she saw that his face was tight.
"Keep your eyes open, sweet."
The ship bucked again, making her moan. When her eyelids fluttered, he scooped her into his arms. Vaguely, she felt Cammy slapping at the captain to get to her, and him squeezing her tighter into his chest. "Then take her to the cabin"--Cammy snapped--"if you won't let her go."
Eleven
The nightmare came with a vengeance. This time the sounds of the groaning ship boomed in her ears. Her stomach tumbled with the jagged rise and fall of the bow. Tori opened her eyes, waking into her nightmare, not out of it.
Cammy peered down at her, a feigned smile pasted on her green face. Tori scrambled up in bed, unable to mask her alarm over her appearance. Green around the gills? She'd never really understood the saying until now.
Tori sat up too fast. Her head felt light but for an insistent throbbing on the side of her skull. "Cammy?" she muttered. "What's happened?"
"You fainted and hit your head."
Fainted? Her? "I meant, what's happened with you."
"Seasickness." She gave a harsh laugh. "Ill on the island, sick on the ship."
"Don't say things like that. It'll pass." Her optimistic words did not match her thoughts. Cammy clearly felt wretched and needed to be in bed. Though the ship vaulted up a wave, Tori rose and went to the washstand.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to wake up." When they plunged into a trough, water sloshed from the bowl. Ignore that thundering sound. Ignore the way the boards shake beneath your feet.
"You need to rest!" Cammy said sharply.
"I was just about to say the same to you."
"But you've been hurt...." The last words were snuffed behind Cammy's tightened lips. Against her obvious efforts, she flew to a bucket and retched. Tori petted her hair, resisting the near overwhelming urge to join her. Fighting it was a grueling ordeal. Sweat drenched her, her breaths became gasps, and she had to lock her jaw. Tori knew that once you gave in to seasickness, you didn't stop until you hadn't the energy to move, a condition sailors called the special kind of hell.
Grant held out as long as he could. He didn't miss the looks Miss Scott gave him each time he came by the cabin. And his excuse that as a captain it was his duty to check on passengers? She waved it away.
At the door, he heard two voices. Finally, Victoria had awakened. He knocked and heard Miss Scott say waspishly, "If that man comes by one more time..." To him, she called, "Go away! She's fine. She's awake."
Damn it, woman. He hadn't wanted Victoria to know how often he'd been by. Just when he was about to leave, Miss Scott apparently changed her mind and called him in.
He greeted each with a cool nod.
"I need to talk to you, Captain," Miss Scott said.
Victoria frowned at her.
"You've got to get Tori out of this cabin. She's going to be sick like me if she stays."
Her eyes went wide. "I'm not leaving--"
"You are," Miss Scott said with a fierceness Grant would've thought impossible the day before.
"This is a cargo ship," he said. "There isn't a free cabin."
"Then move me somewhere. In the hold--I don't care."
"Victoria, come with me," Grant commanded.
"I said I'm not leaving!"
Miss Scott rose, her face pinched as she prepared to say something.
Grant grabbed Victoria's arm. "You're only going to upset her more. She doesn't need this from you."
"Indeed," the woman bit out before sinking back down.
Ian strolled by at that moment. "What's all the commotion?"
"They want me to leave Cammy," Victoria said, the words like an accusation.
"So she won't get sick," Grant added.
Ian swung his head in to survey the situation. "I was planning on entertaining Cammy today anyway--you know, regale her with all my engrossing tales."
Victoria scrutinized Ian for several tense moments.
"Listen to him, Tori," Miss Scott ordered. "He's got a stomach made of lead. You can return when you get yourself settled."
"Victoria, we'll be fine," Ian assured her. "I took care of her before you came aboard. And if you don't stay well, I'll be nursing two of you."
Seeming to make a decision about him, Victoria reluctantly nodded, and Ian entered. "Cammy, where were we?"
Miss Scott muttered, "You were about to tell me one of your exaggerated stories and I was about to lose my breakfast."
"Ah, just so."
When Grant drew Victoria from the cabin, he propelled her forward so he could shut the door. She stumbled back. Looking down at the considerable drop to the water made her eyes go wild. Grant swore under his breath and placed himself between her and the rail as he guided her to his cabin.
Once inside, she appeared to relax somewhat and openly studied the room. He wondered what she thought of it. Nothing superfluous cluttered the Spartan interior. It was tasteful but not colorful, and every piece had a purpose. "This appears to be straight seasickness with Miss Scott. Ian will make sure she's comfortable," he said.
"I believe that he will." She added in a mumble, "Otherwise, I never would have left." When she turned to his bookshelf, she sucked in a breath and hurried over. "Beautiful," she sighed. "And intact." She pulled out the first book, Robinson Crusoe, and raised her eyebrows. "Research?"
He stood straighter. "I've got to get back to work. I'll have some food sent in when you feel better."
She replaced the book and nodded,
but he made no move to leave. "You gave us quite a scare," he found himself saying. Luckily, his tone was casual. He hoped he didn't look as exhausted as he felt.
She sat at the edge of his bed, the first woman ever to be in his cabin. "Were you worried about me?"
So much that I didn't sleep. "You took quite a hit."
When she ran her fingers over the bed linens, images flashed into his mind of her flushed with pleasure and tumbled from sex. Realizing he liked her in his bed far too much, he excused himself, and attempted to run the ship.
Near dusk, the seas got lively. Grant returned to get his oilskin and found her sitting ramrod straight, fists bunched in the sheets, eyes wide and fixed directly ahead.
"Victoria, I should let you know there's a squall headed for us."
She swung her gaze to him. "I never would have figured that out all by myself." In a huff, she stood and paced.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm going to keep you safe." She never stopped, never even acknowledged what he'd said. Did she not believe him? Did she not think he could? The idea rankled. "You need to buck up. This is the first squall, but it won't be the last, nor the fiercest. You're just going to have to be strong."
"Be strong? So if I tell myself to be strong, it will just happen? Self, be better with arithmetic." She held up her hands. "Nothing there either." When he scowled at her, she said, "The truth is, I don't want to be strong."
The room canted up and to the right, and she stumbled into the bed, latching on to it. When they landed with a teeth-clattering thud, she moaned. He noted with alarm that tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'm sick of being strong! What I am now is scared to death!"
In the past, if a disgruntled woman cried, he'd always said, "I'll leave you to compose yourself." But now he couldn't stand the idea of her hurting.
Grant wasn't completely without feeling, no matter what people said. Hadn't he just yesterday battled the urge to bundle her in his arms on the deck? And lost? Though he was needed on the bridge, he said, "I'll sit with you awhile, if you don't want to be alone."
She hesitated, then weakly held out her hand, the simple movement beckoning him to sit by her. He did, and she sidled closer, looking up at him with such gratitude, her eyes were brimming with it.
In a low, soothing voice, he explained every song, yell, and knotted vibration. "That snap is the sail grabbing a gust.... That knock just there is a loose pulley someone really should tighten.... No, no, when the timbers groan, that's good. It means they're bending as they should."