“Oh, Ben,” I cried, “you killed my father!”
He shook his head. “No…no…not that. Though I had a gun in my hand and would have done it too. But I thought, No. I don’t want this man’s life on my hands. It’s not worth it. So I said: ‘I’ve caught you red-handed. You’ll put that opal back in the safe where it belongs and you’re going to get out of here fast. You’ll never show your face here or at the Fancy, for if you do I’ll expose you for the thief you are. Get out. Leave my house…now. I’ll swear you’ve got your bags packed and are ready to leave.’ Oh, I was mad with him. I can tell you what restraint I had to put on myself to prevent my pulling the trigger. That would have been silly…messy…and wouldn’t have done me any good. So he put the opal back in the safe and I marched him back to his room. Sure enough, there were his bags…already packed. He planned to get the opal and clear out…like a thief in the night…which was what he was.”
“So you sent him away…away from my mother.”
“He would have been no good to her. He knew he’d have to keep out of the way if he’d got the Flash. He’d planned it all. He was going to take the opal and get out.”
“My poor mother!”
“There’d been women in his life. Nothing had lasted. I knew this. I wanted him out of the way…for her sake. I didn’t know you were on the way then. That could have been different.”
“You said he had stolen the Green Flash.”
“That’s what I want to tell you. It was a pretense on my part. He’d gone…disappeared in the night. He wasn’t coming back. He wouldn’t dare face me, for I’d let it be known that he was a would-be thief. We’re very rigid in Australia. We have to be. There’s a rough-and-ready justice. We don’t tolerate thieves and we don’t tolerate murderers. We can’t. There’s too much to take care of. He was finished for the Fancy when I found him at the safe. He knew that and he had been ready to risk everything for the Green Flash. I thought then: I’ll make people believe he’s got the Green Flash, then no one would seek to rob me of it. No one would ill wish me with that certainty that misfortune was going to overtake me. I left soon after for Australia…taking the Green Flash with me.”
“Does Joss know this?”
“He does now, because I’ve told him as I’ve told you. Believe me, Jessie, I’d have acted different if I’d known you were on the way…You don’t speak.”
“I feel so shocked.”
“It’s in the past. Your life is about to open out. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to have all your mother didn’t have. I promise you you’re going to find life a great adventure.”
“I can’t think of the future. I can’t stop thinking of my mother.”
“You’ve got to forget all that.”
“I wonder where my father is.”
“He’d fall on his feet…he always did.”
“All those years you have allowed him to be suspected, and my poor mother…”
“She should never have done what she did.”
“She was driven to it.”
“No, Jess, we’re none of us driven. We act of our own free will, and if we find life too much to be borne, then clearly there’s no one to blame but ourselves.”
I turned my face away. I was going over it all, my father caught at the safe, Ben forcing him to get out. His belongings already packed, so he had meant to go with the Green Flash…and leaving my poor little mother to bear me and then destroy herself.
Ben was caressing my hand.
“Don’t think badly of me, Jessie,” he said. “I’ll not be here much longer you know. I couldn’t bear there to be bitterness at the end. I’m a violent man. I’ve lived dangerously. I don’t belong in a historic manor like this. I’ve had to fight throughout my life and it’s made me hard and strong and ruthless. Perhaps I don’t set so much store on morals as I should. In the Outback there were men who were ready to kill me for the Green Flash. Do you understand? Tell me you do understand.”
“Yes, I do understand, Ben.”
“And we’ve loved each other, haven’t we? Didn’t your life change when we met, and wasn’t it for the better?”
“It did, and I love you, Ben.”
“Then you’ll have learned something. When you love it’s not for rhyme nor reason. And whatever the loved one’s done makes no difference…not to true love. I don’t love you any less because I’m a wicked man on some days. I’m still the same old Ben, sentimental and loving where he gives his love, and when he gives it he gives it for good.”
“It’s true, Ben. I could never do anything but love you. I can’t bear to think of your not being here…”
“Never mind, never mind, because I’m not leaving your life empty. There’s better coming into it than was ever there before. That’s what I’m going to promise you if you’ll listen to me, if you’ll take my advice. There’s a lot I know about human nature and that means I know you perhaps even better than you know yourself. I’m going to talk to you tomorrow. You’ve had enough for one day. You’re a gambler, as I am, and you’re going to have to gamble a bit with life. I always have. You wouldn’t want to turn your face away from life. You wouldn’t want to live out your days in that dismal old Dower House, would you?”
“Oh, Ben,” I said, “I wish it hadn’t been like that…about my father, I mean. And the Green Flash is still in your possession…with its ill luck. Is that why you had your accident? Is that why this is happening to you now?”
“That’s what people would say, but I’ve never regretted having it. It’s meant a lot to me. I used to go down in the dead of night and take it out and look at it…and I felt it was telling me ‘Go on…enjoy your life. Never mind if you live dangerously. I’m yours and if you have to pay for having me, pay cheerfully.’”
“Does Joss know all this…about my father and mother?”
“He knows it all.”
“And the Green Flash will be his when…”
“When I die. Oh, I’ve plans, and that’s something the three of us are going to talk about tomorrow.”
“Tell me now, Ben.”
“Oh no. You’ve had enough to digest for one day, I reckon. You’ve got to be in the picture to see it all clearly. Don’t fret, Jessie. I want my last weeks to be cheerful. There aren’t many left to me.”
“Please, Ben, don’t.”
“All right, I won’t. Go home now and come back tomorrow afternoon. Then I’ll tell you my plans, and don’t worry, my dearest girl.”
I left him then and went to the Dower House. I was very disturbed; the revelations coming immediately after my meeting with Joss Madden had completely bewildered me.
As I went into the house my grandmother was in the hall arranging a bowl of flowers.
“Oh dear,” she said, “it’s so difficult here. How I miss the flower room we had at Oakland! By the way, I see your friend has a visitor staying there. He looked slightly superior to the mining type…almost a gentleman. He sits his horse like one.”
I did not answer. I was too full of emotion to think of one of my retorts so I merely went quietly to my room.
***
I spent a sleepless night and fancied I looked a little haggard next day. Why this unaccustomed attention to my appearance? I asked myself; but I knew of course that it was due to that man. He had a way of assessing me, and there was something in his expression which I felt was shaming. I began to wonder about him, and remembered Ben’s saying something about his being fond of women. I thought: I know the type—wondering whether every woman he meets is going to find him irresistible. He really is an odious character. But I was still too upset by Ben’s confession to think very much about Joss Madden. I wished that he would not keep intruding into my thoughts when my desire was to keep him out.
When I arrived that afternoon, it was to find them awaiting me and I sensed an impatience in them bot
h.
“Oh here you are at last,” said Ben. “Now come and sit down.”
He was in bed. I supposed the excitement of yesterday had exhausted him. He certainly looked less well, and I noticed the bluish tinge about his mouth.
“One on either side of me,” he commanded, and as we sat there I saw those peacock-blue eyes on me and again I sensed that uncomfortable feeling Joss Madden’s too close scrutiny aroused in me.
“Now, I’ll start,” said Ben. “I’m going to die very soon and I don’t want to. There’s so much I wanted to see before I went. One of my dearest dreams was to watch my grandchildren playing here on these lawns or those of Peacocks. You see, I never had any little ones around me. I was always too busy making a fortune, and then because it was not orthodox my children were never with me. Not until Joss came marching across the lawn with his suitcase…and he was never a little ’un. You were a giant for your age even then, Joss, and you talked like a man and acted like a man. So I was cheated out of babies. Joss, you never married and I used to fret about that…until I came here and met Miss Jessica Clavering. I’ve always had a feeling for the Claverings. I can’t tell you how much I’ve wished I was one when I look at that family tree in the hall. It’s grand to belong to a family like that. So what I want more than anything is to bring the families together. I want our blood mingled…that of the boy who sold gingerbread fancies in the Ratcliffe Highway and those who served kings in their historic battles…those who have been born to riches and those who had to fight their way to the top. I reckon there couldn’t be a better combination for future generations.”
I lifted my eyes and met that dark blue stare. What is he suggesting? I asked myself. Oh no, Ben, even you could not be so audacious as that. I tried to read what was in Joss Madden’s eyes. He must be as horrified as I was.
“So that’s why I want you two to be friends…more than friends. The plain fact is that more than anything I want to see you two marry. Don’t fly into a rage, Jess. I know it’s a shock. But you haven’t heard it all. Joss will be a good husband…if you go along with his ways. And Jessica will be a good wife, Joss, if you’re careful how you handle her.”
I said hotly: “Please, Ben, let us have an end of this. I’m sure I could never go along with Mr. Madden’s ways, nor would I agree to place myself in his careful handling.”
“You see, Joss, our Jessie can fly into a temper pretty quick,” said Ben. “But you won’t mind that. You wouldn’t want a mild and meek gentle little dove, would you?”
Joss did not reply. I imagined he was regarding me with the same horror I felt for him.
“Now I should have had time to condition you,” went on Ben, “but time is running out for me. Who knows when the powers that be will come for me? Could be tomorrow. Could be the next day…or six months hence. All we can be sure of is that they’re coming. Now I’d like the wedding to take place soon because I want to know it’s done. Then I’ll rest happy.”
“You don’t know what you’re suggesting, Ben,” I cried.
“Oh yes I do, my dear. I’ve been thinking of it for a very long time. As soon as I got to know you I said to myself: That’s the one for Joss. That’s the girl I want to bear my grandsons. I’ve thought of nothing else for weeks.”
“Now, Ben,” said Joss, “you see from Miss Clavering’s horror that your little scheme will have to be abandoned.”
For the first time I gave him a look of approval.
“Marriage is a bit of a gamble,” said Ben. “Well, you’ve both got gamblers’ blood in you. When you’ve considered everything involved, Jess, you’ll fall in with my schemes. Joss is already halfway there.”
“Not now,” he replied, “not now that I see Miss Clavering’s repugnance.”
“Oh, proud…proud as a peacock! You always wanted others to do the running. You thought it was your right.” He turned to me. “That’s Joss for you. Now why are you both being so stubborn. Jessica’s an attractive girl. Don’t you think so, Joss? Now, Jessie, you’ve got to admit Joss is a fine figure of a man. You could search through England and Australia and where would you find a better mate? Be sensible, both of you. I tell you this is my dying request. You can’t refuse me that, can you?”
“We can,” said Joss. “Ben, you’re outrageous.”
“I know,” he replied with a hoarse chuckle. “But I never wanted anything in my life so much as I want this. I can only die happy if I see you two married first. I just know it’s right. I can see into the future.”
I thought: He’s mad. Surely the old Ben would never have talked like this.
“Now listen to me,” he went on. “I’ve made all the arrangements. I’m leaving everything to you…except for a few minor legacies…that’s if you’re married.”
“And if we aren’t?” said Joss.
“My dear Joss, you get nothing…nothing.”
“Now look here…”
“You can’t argue about a man’s estate when he’s on his deathbed,” said Ben, and there were lights of mischief in his eyes. “You don’t get a thing…either of you…unless you marry. That’s plain fact. Joss, do you want to see the Company pass out of your hands?”
“You couldn’t do that.”
“You’ll see. Jessica, do you want to spend your days in the Dower House with that virago of a grandmother…looking after her when she gets more fractious…or do you want a life of excitement and adventure? It’s for you to choose. You’re right, both of you, when you say I can’t force you. I can’t. But I can make it very uncomfortable for you if you don’t do what I want.”
We looked at each other across the bed.
“This is absurd,” I began, but Joss Madden did not answer. I was aware that he was contemplating the loss of the Company. Ben had conjured up a picture for me too. I saw myself ten…twenty years hence, growing pinched about the lips just as Miriam had begun to look…decorating the church, taking baskets to the poor, growing old, growing sour because life had passed me by.
Ben knew what I was thinking. “It’s a gamble,” he said. “Don’t forget that. What are you going to do?”
He lay back on his pillows and closed his eyes. I stood up and said I thought he was tired.
He nodded. “I’ve given you something to think about, haven’t I?” He seemed full of secret amusement.
Joss Madden came with me to the door.
I said: “I’ll go by the back way across the bridge and the stream.”
“I’m afraid this has been a shock to you,” he said.
“You are right,” I answered. “How could it be otherwise?”
“I should have thought young ladies in your position often had husbands chosen for them.”
“That does not make the position any more acceptable.”
“I’m sorry I’m so repulsive to you. You have made that very clear.”
“I don’t think you showed any enthusiasm for the proposed marriage.”
“I suppose we are both the sort of people who would want to choose for themselves.”
“I think Ben must be losing his senses.”
“He believes he’s in full possession of them. You Claverings have cast a spell on him. It’s those grand antecedents of yours with your ancestral home and so on. He wants your blue blood to be brought into his family.”
“He will have to think of another way.”
“I hardly think he can if you refuse to comply.”
“You surely don’t mean that you would?”
I had stopped short in my amazement and looked at him searchingly. His lips twisted into a wry smile. “There’s a great deal at stake for me,” he said.
I said shortly: “I’ll leave you here. Good-bye.”
“Au revoir,” he called after me as I sped across the grass.
***
I went back to the Dower House in a kind of da
ze. As I came into the hall the familiar smell of lemon wax struck me forcibly, although I should have become accustomed to it after all these years because it was always there. My grandmother used to say that even though we had come down in the world we must show people that we had not given up our standards and there was no excuse for even the most humble dwelling not to be spotlessly clean. There was a bowl of flowers in the hall—lilacs and tulips arranged by my grandmother neatly and without artistry. I could hear voices in the drawing room—those of my grandmother and Xavier, and I wondered whether my grandfather was there in his usual role of penitent. I paused for a moment and contemplated the confusion which would result if I opened the door and announced that I had had a proposal of marriage and would in due course be leaving for Australia. That would scarcely be true, for I could hardly call it a proposal since the intended bridegroom was more reluctant than prospective. It then occurred to me how deeply I should have enjoyed confronting them with such news.
I went to my room—a pleasant little one with a picture of one of our ancestors on the wall. She had once graced the gallery at Oakland. My grandmother had been hard put to it to find suitable spots in which to accommodate all the pictures in the Dower House. With a characteristic desire to improve us all, she had distributed ancestors with considerable judgment. I had Margaret Clavering, circa 1669, a handsome young woman with a hint of mischief in her eyes. I had never heard exactly what she did, but I knew that it was something shocking, something to make even my grandmother’s lips twitch with amusement. Her misdemeanor must therefore have been committed in high places—I suspected the King himself was involved as indeed he was with so many. Even so, poor Margaret did come to an untimely end when she was thrown from her horse while escaping with a lover from one of her husbands—she had apparently had many of the former and three of the latter.
In my grandfather’s room gamblers looked down from the walls. I always thought they were a jolly-looking crowd, all those wastrel Claverings, and might prove an inducement rather than a deterrent; and they certainly looked nicer to know than the virtuous savior of our fortune from the eighteenth century who looked down primly, and I am sure approvingly, on my grandmother.