Shelby nodded a bit reluctantly, not certain she was going to enjoy this.
“Can you tell me why exactly?”
Shelby played with her watch for a moment, her gaze diverted. She had to be honest but feared it would make him angry again. She tensed and tried to smile, but it didn’t work.
“It sounds so silly now, but for just a moment I thought you might be tempted to hit me.”
She said this and leaned a little away from him. Nikolai had all he could do not to react. He didn’t know when he’d been so surprised. He forced himself to nod in seeming calmness, but inside he was miserable. All this time, Lord, You’ve been prompting me to get to know her, to talk to her, but I ran from my job. Then I thought my parents had been duped. I thought she was a complete phony, but she really is extremely sweet and accommodating.
“Were you tempted to hit me?” Shelby asked in a small voice.
“No, Shelby,” Nikolai said, finding it no problem to keep his voice gentle; she was looking frightened all over again, and his heart wrung with compassion.
Shelby shrugged uncomfortably. “I told myself it was silly, but sometimes I don’t listen very well.”
Nikolai stared at her for a moment, the full import of what she had done coming home to him for the first time. Would he have left his home, all that was familiar and dear, to marry a stranger who had complete control over him? He didn’t think he would.
“I’m glad you told me, Shelby—very glad. I was angry with my father and took it out on you. It’s probably impossible for you to believe that right now because you don’t know me, but I hope in time you’ll come to see that I mean it.”
“Thank you.”
“Tell me something, Shelby. Did you have an appointment after Murdock spoke with us, or did you just feel you had to get away?”
“A little of both. I had an open appointment, one that I could take care of anytime, and I decided to go then.”
“Did it go well?”
Shelby blushed. “I can’t say as I remember very much about it. I’ll have to go back.”
“Murdock said you were also out of town this week.”
“Yes. I went to Yelverton. That’s been on my calendar for a few weeks. One of the Council member’s wives asked me to lunch, and when the queen learned of it, she asked me to stop in on an old friend for her.”
“It’s pretty up there in the north. My grandmother’s family is from there.”
“She told me about that.”
“That’s right. They said you had lunch with them.”
Shelby nodded again, feeling terribly insecure inside. This man was larger than life to her. He was tall, yes, but it was more than that. Even before the incident, she’d been slightly in awe of him. In a move to appear calmer than she felt, Shelby tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her legs.
“Am I going to offend you if I ask you about your hair?” Nikolai asked suddenly. He’d been watching her quite closely.
“No,” Shelby told him sincerely.
“Is the color yours?”
Not expecting this, she laughed a little. “Yes. For better or for worse, it’s mine.”
“What would make you say for worse?”
Shelby could have given him several reasons, but Murdock came to the door.
“I hate to interrupt, sir, but a call has come in, and I thought you should take it.”
“All right. Thank you, Murdock.”
Shelby stood so the prince would feel she understood.
“I’m sorry to cut this short,” Nikolai said sincerely.
“That’s fine. I understand.”
Feeling a bit thwarted as Shelby seemed on the verge of relaxing, Nikolai saw that he had no choice. He wished her a good day and went to take his call. By the time he finished, she was gone. The temptation to let her live her life so he could continue to cherish his memories of Yvette was very strong, but he’d already made that mistake and wasn’t going to do it again. He didn’t see Shelby again that day but prayed off and on until bedtime about the next opportunity to speak with her.
“Do you still drive yourself?” Lenore asked.
“Yes. I drove myself today.”
“But you don’t have to?” Deb checked with her.
“No. I can ask to be taken in the day limo.”
“You make it sound like the limousines are different at night,” commented Grace.
“They are,” Shelby answered, not minding the questions from the five women in her Bible study group. She was closer to these women than just about any others she could name and had not the slightest qualm in answering their naturally curious questions. Other than Lenore, she was seeing them for the first time since she was married.
“If I have to go out in the evening,” Shelby explained, “I’m taken in a regular limo—big, black, and very formal. The day limo is actually a nice car, no dark windows or glass divider.”
“And how does it feel?”
“A little funny at times, but the staff is so kind.”
“And the prince?” Natty asked in her quiet way. “Is he kind too?”
“I think so,” Shelby answered, being very honest with them. “I know it isn’t easy for him, but just this morning we talked for a while. We haven’t really had that much time together. You can pray for me about the relationship.”
“Like we’ve done anything else for the past six weeks,” Deb said with her classic sarcasm. She could always make Shelby laugh.
“Okay, okay.” Shelby’s hands went in the air. “Enough about me. How’s chemo, Natty?”
“It was better this week. I know the Lord is always with me—I never doubt that—but there are times when I’m more mindful of Him. This week was like that. I was even able to tell the chemo tech a little about my faith.”
“That’s great,” Connie spoke up. “I was at the hospital on Thursday about ten, and they told me I’d just missed you.”
Shelby listened to the women talk, amazed at the friends they had become. She hadn’t seen it coming, but the woman who had originally led the study had become pregnant and very sick. She’d met Shelby at the hospital and instantly thought of her. That had been more than two years earlier. Shelby had been meeting with the women weekly ever since. They had studied Romans, 1 and 2 Peter, and Hebrews. They were now tackling 1, 2, and 3 John.
The women studied for the next 40 minutes and took some time for prayer requests before Shelby headed on her way. Both Deb and Lenore had had a few more questions for her, and Shelby left with a small shake of her head and a huge smile on her face. She was in her car and halfway back to the palace before she wondered if she would ever know Nikolai well enough to invite him to meet the ladies. If their questions were any indication, they would thoroughly enjoy it. Right now the thought of asking him caused Shelby’s face to heat. Without a bit of hesitation, she pushed the thought far to the back of her mind.
Six
In town for the first weekend in much too long, the prince stood at the back of the church on Sunday morning, determined not to sit down until he found his wife. Murdock told him that the car had brought her here, and he was going to find her. He had checked with his parents but was told that she never sat with them. Nikolai began to grow anxious. He was not a small man, and to wander around when most people were sitting was starting to draw stares.
A moment later he noticed a man signing to someone near the front of the sanctuary on the right-hand side and suddenly knew where to look. He moved to the far right, still staying at the back until he spotted that bright copper head. He was immensely relieved to see she was not in a crowded pew. In fact, he was able to sit beside her on the end of the pew with room to spare. She was so uncrowded, in fact, that for several seconds she didn’t look up from her church bulletin to see who had joined her.
“Oh, Nikolai,” Shelby said softly, looking shocked and immediately feeling her face go red.
“Good morning. May I sit with you?”
“Yes, certainly.”
Nikolai looked at his own bulletin and sermon notes in an effort not to stare at her, but he’d seen her red face and could tell by the movements he caught out of the corner of his eye that she was unsettled by his presence.
A few minutes remained before the service began, so he leaned slightly and said, “Do you always sit on this side?”
“Yes. Is that all right?”
“Of course. Did you know that my parents sit on the other side?”
“Yes. I talk to them when I come in. If you want me to sit with them, I can.”
“No, it doesn’t matter,” Nikolai told her quickly as the service was starting. He listened with great attention, but not before reminding himself that he would need to find a way to let Shelby know she could relax. He suspected that she thought he had rules and regulations for everything, and in a desperate attempt to do the right thing, she was terribly nervous and contrite in his presence. That he had frightened her was not lost from his memory either. That matter was his last prayer as the announcements were completed and they sang the first song.
“And where did you go after that?” Shelby asked the little girl in the kitchen.
“We ate dinner at Samba’s. I had pie.”
“That sounds wonderful. What type of pie was it?”
The child, Emma Greene, looked to her Aunt Arlanda.
“I think you had the berry,” Arlanda filled in.
“Berry,” Emma told Shelby, her hand still touching Shelby’s hair. The housekeeper had tried to tell her not to touch, but Shelby had waved her away. “I like red,” Emma went on. “I wish I had red hair.”
“Do you want mine?” Shelby checked with her.
“Your hair?”
“Sure!” Shelby rounded her eyes and said, “We’ll just trade.”
Emma laughed. “I don’t think we can. My daddy likes my hair too much.”
“I like it too. Black hair is beautiful.”
Emma smiled with pleasure and then heard the timer. She stood with reluctance but didn’t complain. Her Aunt Arlanda had told her they could stay until the kitchen timer buzzed.
“It was nice to meet you, Emma.”
“Thank you,” the little girl said as she smiled up at her.
Shelby walked them to the door and even outside, waving as the car pulled away. She had been on her way to the park and passed through the kitchen to find Emma and Arlanda. They had been on their way out, but Arlanda held back when Shelby had begun to speak with Emma. Now Shelby stood and waved one more time before moving toward the dense growth of trees and the path she knew she would find. She had been tempted to get her skates but hadn’t found out yet if the park allowed skates and bicycles on the paths. She was vaguely aware of Kris following some paces behind her. He had become a part of her world, and most of the time she took his presence for granted.
“Well, Shelby, hello,” the queen said from down the path, her own companion trailing her at some distance.
“Hi.” Shelby smiled when she spotted her, gladly moving forward to accept her embrace. “How are you?”
“I’m fine and loving this weather. How about you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you really, Shelby? I mean really?”
Her tone was so suddenly serious that Shelby stared at her.
“I think so,” she answered uncertainly. “Why do you ask?”
The queen searched the younger woman’s face before saying, “Shelby, come sit on this bench with me, will you?”
The two women got comfortable before the queen went on quietly.
“I want you to know, Shelby, that Nikolai came to us about the way he treated you.”
“Oh,” Shelby said uncomfortably, still sorry she had been so foolish and run. “I didn’t handle that very well.”
“Shelby, what are you talking about? I’ve seen Nikolai angry. It’s not a pretty thing. The only difference is that I know he wouldn’t do anything. You had no such guarantee because you’re still too unfamiliar with him. Now, I want you to tell me if you’re all right.”
Shelby’s gaze went to the trees overhead. “I haven’t been able to talk to anyone, not even my parents. I can’t stand the thought they’ll think badly of Nikolai. I know he was upset, but at the moment I didn’t stop to analyze it. I just had to get away.”
The queen picked up Shelby’s hand. She held it gently and continued.
“You’re still speaking as though you did the wrong thing, dear. Nikolai was completely at fault, and his father and I know that. We’re so pleased with the way you let him apologize and that you forgave him. He knows he was wrong.”
For the first time since the incident, Shelby began to listen. She had been wrapped up in her own little world of hurt and not thinking clearly. She stared at the queen as understanding dawned and then admitted quietly, “I thought you might be sorry you chose me to marry Nikolai.”
For a moment, the queen’s eyes closed in pain. “Nothing could be further from the truth, Shelby.” She bent close now to be sure she was being heard. “If Rafe and I could do it all over again, you would still be the one.”
As if her heart was a bird that had been set free of its cage, Shelby felt as though she could fly. For the first time in days, she felt she could take a deep breath. So completely out of her depth in this place, terrified of making a mistake and disappointing the king and queen—not to mention being of no use to the prince—Shelby suddenly knew the worst was over. The prince might never love her. She might never have an intimate marriage or children with him, but she could be herself, she could be the woman God had created her to be, and that was worth almost any cost to Shelby.
“Thank you,” Shelby said at last. “I can’t tell you what a help you’ve been.”
“I’m glad, Shelby. I can’t stand to see you hurting.”
“Well, I’m sure I’ll hurt again, but the Lord never promised a walk in the park, and in the future I know I’ll be able to handle it.”
Erica couldn’t resist hugging her again, an embrace Shelby gladly returned. Shelby was just starting her walk, and Erica was on her way home, so after a few more minutes the women parted company. Shelby’s long legs ate up the path as she kept herself just short of a run, her heart prayerful and light as a child’s. She decided she would have to drop a note to the queen, thanking her again.
“But how would I word it?” Shelby asked the air in front of her. “Never mind, Shelby. You already thanked her. Let it go at that.”
Kris, still trailing her and keeping his eyes open, had the impression that something was different. As was his job, he would just have to wait and see.
“And where is the princess?” the prince asked of Murdock. It had been his standard question for the last ten weeks. It had started after the King’s Ball. Princess Shelby was constantly in demand, and unless she was with the prince, the rather shy, quiet young woman was gone.
The staff had had a small taste of Shelby in the first several weeks she lived in the palace, but the real woman, the woman who liked to bake cookies at ten o’clock at night or slide in stocking feet along the polished floors of the hallway, was now out in full force. They also found her kinder than ever—taking hot soup to one of the staff members when she was down with a cold and cookies to the queen mother when she learned her favorite type.
Nikolai had foolishly packed his schedule when they had first married and now found himself always moving in the opposite direction from his wife. That he had originally wanted this and was still tempted to do it was beside the point. He knew it was wrong, but in some ways the damage was done, at least for a time. Other than Sunday mornings and evenings when they were both in church, he would never have known where she was if it hadn’t been for Murdock. There were times when things were too set to be rearranged, but the prince was making a genuine effort to get to know his shy wife. In the process he was finding out that she was one popular lady.
“Let me rephrase that,” the prince said. “Is there any place I might catc
h up with her today?” He watched his minister check his ever-present calendar book.
“She’s at the care center this morning, but at noon she’s scheduled at the Faraday Garden Club for a luncheon with your grandparents. The ladies and gentlemen of the club have asked her to be a member. They will present her with a dozen trees to plant here at the palace and a dozen more to plant where she chooses. They have asked her to address the group after the presentation.”
The prince looked thoughtful. “Have you heard her speak, Murdock?”
“Not personally, sir, but both Kris and Hank tell me that she holds an audience in the palm of her hand.”
Nikolai nodded slowly. “I’ll head there as soon as I finish my Bible study assignment from Grandfather.”
“Will you make it for the luncheon, sir?”
“I should.”
“I’ll call ahead and warn them,” Murdock said as he made a note in the daybook.
“Is she happy?” the prince asked suddenly, his voice low.
The faithful house minister looked up at him. “I would say she’s very happy, Prince Nikolai.”
“Does she ever ask about me or where I am?”
Murdock shook his head no. “If I may be so bold, sir, I think she would say that it’s none of her business.”
Nikolai nodded. “It’s an unconventional situation; there’s no doubt about that.”
Murdock opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. The prince caught the action and commanded him to “spit it out.”
“I was going to say that given time I think that will change, but I remembered, sir, you may not wish for that change, and then my words would be of little comfort to you.”
Nikolai stared at his old friend and servant. “You’re right. At this moment I wouldn’t care for that, but I have a responsibility. Shelby’s parents gave her hand to me, believing she would be well. I want to know that she’s happy and cared for.”
Now it was Murdock’s turn to nod. Shelby was happy, he had just told the prince that, but as to the future—a future with a man who kept her at arm’s length—that would remain to be seen.