CHAPTER 16
I couldn’t feel my legs carry me out of the bathroom and down the corridor. I could’ve went the other way, back to the dance knowing very well that I’ll find him there waiting for me. Sadly I didn’t have that confidence and because deep down inside I knew some truth rang in Brea’s words.
I’m crazy about you, no one else.
I gave him a chance because I saw something in him I knew I just had to have. Why was that derailed just because some mean girl said otherwise? He’s done anything but plant a seed of doubt in my head, so why didn’t I turn around? He deserved my trust and I felt guilty that even now I didn’t give it to him.
I decided to make a deal with myself, I’ll look for him and if I don’t find him, this is the last time I will ever doubt him.
I turned a corner and no one was there, I turned again and froze, Brea wasn’t lying for once. There they were lip locking. Adrianna had both her hands on his face firmly holding him to her and suddenly Brandon pulled away.
“Next time I’ll let you kiss more than just my lips.” Adrianna purred and I felt a bile rise in my throat. I closed my eyes for a second hanging my head, this is what he wants, girls like Adrianna, not naïve expectant girls like me.
I just wish he’d had the decency to cut his losses with me first. Brandon was about to say something but he stopped and his eyes locked on me, slightly widening.
Adrianna turned around to face me; she had a satisfied look on her face. I snapped, how dare she have that smirk on her face, did she forget she’s seeing my brother? I decided to dwell on my rising anger than shuttering hurt and betrayal.
I walked up to her “I never thought it was possible for you to disgust me more than you do right now.” I hissed at her “The fact that my brother has anything to do with you makes me sick to my stomach.” I added.
She stared at me with a little surprise, I didn’t dare look at Brandon, if I did I’d crack, I knew I would. “Well I’m going to end this so called relationship if it’s the last thing that I do.” I spat, even though my heart was breaking with each second that ticked by, all I could think was that this bitch was breaking JT’s as well.
I couldn’t protect mine, but I’ll make damn sure Adrianna doesn’t hurt my brother.
“You’re going to break it off with him and you’re going to get your claws out of him and leave him alone, or so help me God Adrianna—” I said getting in her face as my voice rose higher.
“Katelyn…” Brandon said and my head snapped to him
“Not a single word from you!” I shouted, “I have nothing to say to you.” I shrieked and he blinked a few times, a flurry of emotions passing in his eyes. Bewilderment, pain, regret?
I stared at him for a second and chuckled without humor, it sounded wrong, even to my ears as I held back tears. I refuse to cry.
“Leah was right, you’re an ass. They were all right, and deep down inside I knew it too. But shame on me for choosing not to believe it,” I said with quiet resignation. Suddenly I couldn’t stand the sight of both of them, I couldn’t stand to be here anymore. I turn on my heel and do what I do best.
I heard Brandon call after me and his footsteps follow as I quickly stalked back down the corridor. I carried my dress, vaguely aware that I was wearing high heels as I made my way towards the double doors and I pushed through them.
I warily welcomed the night breeze as I continued towards the car, “Katelyn please…” Brandon shouted after me running towards me now.
“Leave me alone!” I shouted back, my voice making a small echo through the empty parking lot “Don’t come anywhere near me.”
Tim must’ve seen me coming because he suddenly walked out of the car towards the back passenger door. His expression bemused but grave as he looked between me and a fast approaching Brandon.
“Take me home.” I whispered when I reached him, and I wasn’t even sure he heard me until he nodded stiffly and opened the door for me. I swiftly got in and he shut the door behind me. Turning to stop Brandon from getting any closer to the car. “I’m going to ask you to hold it right there.” I heard him say with an arctic voice. Brandon held up his hands then I couldn’t hear what Tim was saying to him anymore.
Brandon’s eyes were searching for me inside, looking like he wanted to leap away from Tim to get to me. I knew he couldn’t see me through the heavily tinted windows, he couldn’t see how much I was hurting, which provided a sense of comfort. Suddenly Brandon flinched looking back at Tim before he took a few steps back and I couldn’t look at him anymore. Tim made his way around the car and got in. I didn’t look at Brandon as the car pulled away from him.
Tim didn’t say anything in the ride back home only timidly asked if I was okay.
My body was on autopilot when I got back home.
I stopped in the entrance hall finding Mom with her feet up on the sofa and a glass of wine in hand; she was staring blankly at the TV. She looked distant, almost sad and I knew she missed Dad. Seeing her like that broke the dam and I started crying. Was I going to look like that from now on too? Missing Brandon and knowing I can’t be with him?
I couldn’t possibly compare myself to Mom, the love she and Dad have I could never fathom. But looking at her now, I considered if that was my fate as well and it hurt, knowing that unlike her, it wasn’t ending in the near future.
Mom’s head snapped to me and she stood up with a worried and pained but understanding look on her face. She knows, of course she knows.
I wondered if it was her maternal instincts kicking in, she held out her arms and I walked into them, crying a little harder and she sank us both back on the couch. She held me tightly and silently for a while until I calmed down, even then we sat like that, I appreciated the silent comfort. It meant more than anything she could say or do.
“Shh, I know it hurts sweetie.” She said softly and I looked up at her “Do you?” I asked and she nodded. “I said you were growing up, and sometimes getting hurt is part of that.” She said gently stroking my flushed cheek. “I hate seeing you like this, but I can’t stop it from happening.” She added. I sat despondently, keeping quiet.
“You want to tell me what happened?” she asked and I shook my head “Tomorrow?” she probed and I nodded, continuing my mute responses.
“I actually just want to go to bed.” I said my voice monotonous, Mom frowned but nodded “Alright sweetie, you need anything?” she asked and I shook my head standing up. “I love you.” She added when I started walking away.
I stopped then turned back to her, I kissed her forehead “I love you too Mom.” I said giving her hand a squeeze. I went up the stairs and found myself in my room. Last time I was here I was smiling, excited and hopeful for a great night, funny how those very beautiful moments can also turn sourly wrong.
I was exhausted to the point where I didn’t even have the energy to get out of my dress and undo my make up.
I fell into a troubled sleep.