They had barely gotten on the interstate when exhaustion set in. The toasty warm car and the fact she hadn’t done so much in weeks kept her fighting to keep her eyes open. It wasn’t long before she nodded off.
The car coming to a stop jolted her awake. Her eye-lids fluttered open to take in Aidan’s driveway. Yawning, she turned to Pesh. “I’m pretty rude company, aren’t I?”
He shook his head. “I’m surprised you made it as long as you did. It’s been a big day.”
“Yes, it has.”
“Here, let me walk you to the door.”
As Pesh started around the car, Emma grabbed her purse. The house was dark as they started up the front walk-way. Aidan hadn’t left the porch light on for her. She drew in a shaky breath at the thought of facing him again.
When they got on the porch, Emma turned to Pesh. “I want to thank you again for the lovely evening.”
Pesh smiled. “It was my pleasure. I hope it’s something we can do again.”
Emma nodded. “Me too.” She leaned over to kiss Pesh chastely on the cheek. When she started to pull away, Pesh quickly pecked her on the lips. And then before she knew it, his lips were moving against hers. Within a second of them being joined, his tongue plunged into her mouth, and Emma knew it was all over.
He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her flush against him. She brought her arms against his chest, but instead of pushing him away, she slid her hands up to his neck and curled her fingers into his hair.
At her actions, a growl reverberated deep in Pesh’s chest. Without warning, he pushed her back against the brick wall. As he pressed himself into her, she could feel the fabric of her dress, along with her thigh highs, snagging against the rough foundation. But she didn’t care. She couldn’t get enough of him being close to her. His smell, the way his body molded against hers, the way his tongue set her on fire as it darted in and out of her mouth.
All thoughts of any propriety flew out of her head. The very fact she was making out with another man on Aidan’s front porch should have immediately doused any desire she felt. But instead, her chest rose and fell in rapid breaths.
Pesh tore his lips from hers and started kissing down her neck. Throwing her head back, she murmured, “Mmm, oh Aidan.”
Her eyes flew open as Pesh stilled his lips. A strangled cry erupted from her throat as she pushed away from him. Oh God, she had said his name. In a moment of pure and electric passion with Pesh, she had called out Aidan. Embarrassed tears stung her eyes as she turned to flee.
Pesh grabbed her arm. “Wait, Emma.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” she cried, as tears streaked down her cheeks. She tried pulling away from him to escape because she couldn’t bear to look at his face.
“Stop it, and look at me!” Pesh commanded.
Emma dragged her gaze off the tiled porch floor and up to Pesh’s face. “Please, just let me go. There’s nothing you can say that would make me hate myself any more than I already do.”
Surprise flooded her when he drew her into his strong embrace. “I don’t hate you, so you sure better not hate yourself.”
She jerked her head back to stare incredulously at him. “I just called out the man who broke my heart’s name while I was making out with you!”
Pesh’s expression saddened. “And when I pressed you back against that wall, all I saw in my mind was Jade, and all I wanted to feel was her.”
Instead of being angry, Emma’s heart ached for Pesh. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I think she confirms what I’ve feared for a long time. We’re just two broken people who aren’t ready for someone else, no matter how hard we try to force it.” He pushed a strand out of her face. “We’re both still desperately in love with other people.”
“I want to love Aidan…I mean, I do love him, desperately at times, but I’m afraid to let myself feel what I do. Your wife was always true to you. She would have never left you.”
“I’ll admit that what Aidan did still infuriates me to where I want to inflict bodily harm on him. But he loves you, Emma. He’s been working his ass off the past two weeks to try to get you to see that.”
“But he can’t even say the words. Every time he tries, he gets interrupted and then he never makes an effort again!”
Pesh took her chin in his fingers and forced her to look him in the eye. “I want you to think about this for a minute? What would you rather have? Words that can be spoken lightly and then taken back so easily, or would you rather actions?”
A reel of images of Aidan’s behavior over the last weeks flickered through her mind. He had risked his job to take care of her. Not to mention, he had cooked everything and anything she wanted, made midnight runs for bacon and ice cream, massaged her feet while watching chick flick movies he hated and held her when she had felt despair.
He smiled. “I don’t know why he can’t say the words, but I know without a doubt he loves you. For most of his life, Aidan probably loved himself more than anyone else in the world. And now he loves you more.” His hand briefly touched her belly. “And he loves his son.”
A sob tore through her chest, and she didn’t fight the tears that came. She threw her arms around Pesh and squeezed tight. “Why do you have to be so wonderful? You should be mad as hell and turning over furniture, calling me a tease or something!”
Pesh laughed. “The last thing I am is a hypocrite. I know exactly how you feel.”
“You’re going to make someone a wonderful husband.” She pulled away to cup his face in her hands. “I want a wife and family for you more than you can ever imagine.”
“It’s just not time, yet, Emma.”
She kissed his cheek tenderly. “I’m going to pray for your heart to open to someone. Jade would want you to be happy.”
Pesh clenched and unclenched his jaw, and Emma knew he was fighting his emotions. “I know she would,” he whispered.
“Then make two women who adore you proud and find yourself a wife.”
His mouth fell open as he stared at her. Emma smiled and nodded. “I do care for you, Pesh. I realize now the feelings I had for you weren’t entirely romantic, despite my behavior in the carriage or here on the porch. Regardless of the fact I love Aidan, I can’t help but care for you deeply.”
“I care for you, too. And I want you to be happy more than anything in the world.” He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “And I think that happiness is right inside that door.”
Tears stung Emma’s eyes. Unable to speak, she bobbed her head in agreement. When Pesh pulled back, he winked at her. “Hurry on in and make Aidan’s night.”
She gave him a final kiss on the cheek before digging the keys out of her coat pocket. “Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re welcome.” He then waved good-bye before hurrying down the porch steps to his car.
Emma’s fingers trembled as she unlocked the door. Tentatively, she stepped inside the house. Darkness enveloped her as she made her way through the living room. She was surprised not to find Aidan awake. Her nose wrinkled as she eyed the beer cans littering the coffee table.
As she took off her coat, something warm and furry brushed against her leg. “Aw, boy, were you waiting for me to come home?”
Beau whined and nudged her belly. “We’re home now. You don’t have to worry anymore.” She reached over to scratch his ears. “Where’s Daddy, boy?”
He yipped and then started for the stairs. With the way they had left things, she wasn’t too surprised that he wanted to be apart from her so he hadn’t slept in his bedroom. Taking the stairs one at a time, she then crept down the hall to the guest room. Beau’s claws clacked behind her. When she reached the door, she turned back to him. “Stay boy.”
He reluctantly slid down on his paws to lie outside the bedroom. She smiled at him. “Good Beau.”
Her shaky hand worked hard to turn the doorknob. Aidan’s soft snores met her as she stepped inside the darkened bedroom. Since he hated s
leeping in the dark, the nightlight next to the bed lit her way across the floor. She eased down on the bed beside him. Lying on his back, the sheet was bunched around his waist while one arm was thrown lazily over his head.
As she gazed down at him, she wondered how she had ever thought she could want anyone else. Mortification caused her to shudder when she thought of how she had kissed Pesh when all along she had only wanted it to be Aidan’s lips and Aidan’s hands on her. Just like Aidan had fought his feelings for her by taking home a stranger, she had tried to do the same thing with Pesh. And like him, nothing she could have ever done with Pesh would have driven away her true feelings for Aidan.
In the end, there would only be two loves in her life—Travis and Aidan. She rubbed the back of her hand along his cheek. It brought a smile to her lips because she realized how he was keeping a close shave because he knew she liked it.
When he didn’t wake at her touch, she leaned over and kissed his lips. She pulled away and stared into his sleeping face. “I love you, Aidan Fitzgerald. I always have, and I always will. I’m sorry for hurting you,” she whispered.
He grimaced in his sleep, his hands fisting the sheet. “Em…Em please…I…I love you.”
Emma’s heart jolted and then restarted. Her hand flew to her chest and rubbed where the slow, aching burn filled her. He was calling out to her. Somehow, somewhere in his subconscious he really did want her, and he had said the words she had longed to hear. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to make love to him and truly cement their feelings for each other.
With another kiss, Aidan still slept soundly. Biting her lip, Emma knew the one way she was going to have to wake him up to ensure he would be ready and willing. Leaning over she began kissing a moist trail down his bare chest. When she reached the waistband of his underwear, he still hadn’t stirred. Easing it down, she took his cock in her hand. Working her fingers over him, his length began to swell. Aidan shifted in the bed, but his breathing didn’t change.
When she slid him into her mouth, his hips bucked. Then a low groan rumbled through his chest. “Emma,” he murmured, and she paused. Her heart stilled when she realized he was still asleep and calling out for her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Aidan tried shaking himself out of his dream. Once again, his nights were filled with Emma. His days were consumed by the growing ache of his feelings and now he was even tormented in his dreams. Tonight was physically painful as he could actually feel her lips on him, moving him in and out of her warm mouth.
He groaned. “Emma,” he murmured. God, he wanted her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and bury himself deep inside. He wanted to hear her cry out his name again like she had before. “Emma, I need you.”
“I’m here, baby, and I want nothing more than to make love to you.”
His eyes flew open. He realized he wasn’t alone in the bed. This was no dream Emma. She was real and was straddling him while she worked her lips and tongue over his erection. “No, wait,” he croaked. When she licked and then sucked one of his balls into her mouth, he threw his head back against the pillow. Fuck, it had been so long. His hips moved involuntarily, bucking his length farther into her mouth.
No, no, no. He couldn’t do this. Their relationship started on sex, and he wasn’t about to let it restart that way. It was about love this time—pure and beautiful love. He pushed himself into a sitting position. “No, Emma, don’t,” he said.
Her eyes glanced from his cock up to his eyes in surprise. He shook his head. “I don’t want you to do this.”
She pulled away so violently he winced as her teeth scraped along his length. He tried to grab her shoulders, but she stumbled off him so fast that he couldn’t. She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.
He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. Why did he seem to have a gift for completely and totally fucking things up every single time he was around her? He threw back the sheet and hurried over to the bathroom. He could hear her crying. When he reached for the doorknob, he found it locked. “Em, I’m sorry. You misunderstood me, I swear.”
At his words, she cried harder. Aidan banged his fist so hard into the wood his hand screamed in agony. “Dammit, Emma, would you please open the door and let me explain?”
“How could I possibly misunderstand you? You said you didn’t want to sleep with me!” she screeched in between the sobs that drove spikes into Aidan’s heart.
Growling with frustration, Aidan kicked the door. “Em, has there ever been a time in our relationship when I didn’t want you? You’ve always kept me at half-mast just being in the same room.”
Her crying grew louder, and he could hear her fumbling under the counter for what he assumed was more toilet paper. He was correct when he heard her blow her nose loudly.
Raking his hands through his disheveled bed hair, he shook his head maniacally. He knew he had to do something and do it fast. He was losing her to Pesh, and in her fragile physical and mental condition, this was enough to drive her over the edge. He sighed. “So are you really going to make me do it this way—in my boxers with a hard-on from your delicious mouth while you’re crying in the bathroom?”
“Please…just leave me alone.”
“No, I will NOT leave you alone. I want to be with you, Em. I want to be with you every fucking moment of every fucking day!” As his heart began beating rapidly, he took in a few ragged breaths. This was it. Now or never.
“And you know why? Because I love you! Did you hear that? I love you, Emma Harrison! I love you with everything in me. If I was honest with myself, I’ve probably loved you since that first night at O’Malley’s. I just couldn’t say it until now.”
Silence echoed back at him. “Trust me. It’s not that I didn’t want you to keep sucking me off. It’s that I didn’t want us to do anything else sexual until I told you how I felt about you. Even though the doctors say we can, I don’t want to fuck you or have sex with you. I want to make love to you, Em.” He stared at the closed door. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Why hadn’t she thrown the door open and rushed into his arms? Wasn’t he saying what she wanted to hear?
Aidan didn’t know what else to do, so he just kept speaking from his heart. “Everything has been so crazy with Pop and you and that damned Alpesh trying to steal you away and making me crazy with jealousy. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you that day on the dock. Even before you told me, I knew how I felt, and it scared the shit out of me. I felt more for you in that instant than I did for Amy in the four years we were together.”
When she still didn’t say anything, his throat burned as tears flooded his eyes. Dammit, he never wanted to cry in front of her. He rested his forehead against the door. “Please, Em. I love you so much it hurts. I ache for you in my soul. Please…I can’t live without you. I want to be with you every minute of every day. I want to marry you and make a life with you. I want to raise Noah and be a family together. Please…please say you want to be with me forever.”
When the door flew open, Aidan had to brace his arms against the frame not to fall forward. Emma stood before him, wide-eyed, open mouthed, and with mascara blackened tears streaming down her cheeks. She took a tentative step toward him. “Say it again,” she finally whispered.
A sob choked off in his throat. “I love you.”
“Oh, Aidan,” Emma replied. She cupped his face in her hands, brushing away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks with her thumbs. She brought her lips to his and gave him a tender kiss. When she pulled away, her expression was a mixture of happiness and regret. “I’m so sorry for tonight and for hurting you with Pesh. Deep down, I never, ever stopped loving you, and you were right when you said our feelings had grown in the last two weeks. It was just…I was angry and bitter and broken hearted over what you did. But even though I wanted to hate you, I never could. And once again you were right because I thought I could make my feelings for you go away by trying to start something up with Pesh, but I couldn’t.” She
gripped the sides of his face in her hands. “I swear to you that my heart will always belong to you.”
He shook his head with disgust. “You never should have had to wait, Em. Part of me wanted you and Pesh to end up together. I knew he could give you everything I should have without question, and his love wouldn’t be tainted by cheating.”
Emma brought her finger to his lips to quiet him. “Stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake, and now it’s forgiven.”
Aidan sucked in a breath. “Really?”
“Oh yes.” She gave him a lingering kiss before pulling away. “And I should have never gone out with Pesh tonight or had him over. Not only was it disrespectful and hurtful to you, it was stupid of me to try to tempt fate. Besides, he could never give me what you have. You made my dreams come true by giving me Noah. The fact that I fell in love with you exceeded anything I could have ever imagined. And now that I know you love me back—” A sob cut off her voice.
Aidan tenderly swept the tears from her cheeks. He couldn’t bear seeing her cry, especially since everything was finally right between them. “I’m serious about marrying you, Em. But I want to propose to you the right way—not half-naked and sporting wood. I want to ask Earl for his permission, and I want to get down on one knee and put a ring on your finger. You deserve that, and I want you to have it.”
Her green eyes widened. “Really?”
He bobbed his head. “I swear.”
“Oh God, you make me so, so happy!” she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. Rocking her back and forth, he squeezed her tight. “I love you, I love you, I love,” she murmured into his ear.
“I love you, too,” he replied.
She squirmed against him, and when he eased up on his embrace, she stared up at him with a combative mixture of both love and lust in her eyes. “Make love me to Aidan,” she pleaded.
“Is that what you want? Because there’s nothing else in the world I would rather do.”
Grinding her pelvis against his, she said, “I want you more than anything in the world.”