“Well, this was a wonderfully amazing start.”
“You’re welcome.” She could hear the pleasure vibrating in his voice. “So do you want to rest for awhile? Or I could fix you an early lunch.”
“Actually, I’d kill for a shower. I feel pretty disgusting.”
Aidan nodded. “I picked up the seat from the medical supply store. Let me go get it ready for you.”
“Great, I’m going to feel eighty years old,” she grumbled, trailing behind him into the bathroom. She skidded to a stop at the sight of her favorite robe hung over the door and all her toiletries and makeup laid out on the counter.
Aidan put the toilet lid down and motioned for her to sit. “You don’t need to be on your feet, remember?”
With a sigh, she obliged him and sat down. It didn’t take Aidan long to get the seat set up. After he turned on the water and adjusted the temperature, he glanced over his shoulder at her. “Okay then. You’re all set.”
“Thank you.”
When Emma didn’t move, Aidan’s brows creased in worry. “You need some help?”
The very thought of him seeing her naked again sent a stinging rush of warmth across her cheeks. She shook her head back and forth furiously. “I can handle it.”
“Fine,” he replied. When the door closed behind Aidan, Emma’s fingers went to the hem of her shirt and then froze. Her gaze honed in on the shower seat. A flashback of the later days of her mother’s cancer battle assaulted her. Her mother’s ravaged form trying desperately to get in and out of the shower flashed in her mind, and she shuddered.
That vision coupled with everything she had been through in the last twenty-four hours sent her emotions careening out of control. Most of all, fear still hung heavy around her. It was like a silent specter in the room, mocking her that her perfect dream of having a child would actually come true. Just the thought of losing Noah sent a chilling shiver reverberating through her.
Burying her head in her hands, she wept unabashedly. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she let the sobs roll through her. At the bathroom door cracking open, she froze.
“Em, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she replied forcefully, but her wavering voice betrayed her.
Aidan stepped inside. She tried to hide the trembling of her body as he tentatively walked across the tiled floor. Peeking up at him through her fingers, she took in his worried expression at the sight of her still sitting on the toilet. “Why aren’t you showering?”
“I, uh…”
Kneeling down in front of her, he took her chin in his fingers, raising her head to meet his gaze. “Em, you’ve got to stop crying. It isn’t good for you or Noah.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.
He brought his other hand up to cup her face. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re here with me now, and everything is going to be okay.”
Furiously she shook her head. “But don’t you see? Everything is not okay!”
“I know, but—”
“It’s easy to stand there and tell me not to get upset, but you have no idea what I’m going through at the moment!” she shrieked.
He cast his blue eyes downward. “I realize that, Em.”
She swiped her cheeks with the backs of her hand. “Every minute, every second, I can’t help thinking of it all falling apart. I’m so scared something bad is going to happen to Noah. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved. I can’t lose him, too.” Her chest heaved as another racking sob rolled through her.
Without hesitation, Aidan drew her into his strong embrace. She should have shrugged him away. Being close to him when she was so emotionally broken was playing with fire. But she was so very tired of being alone all the time and having to bear every burden on her own. Aidan had enough strength for the both of them, and just being held in his arms sent comfort pulsing through her.
Grabbing him around the back, she fisted his shirt in her hands, hanging on for dear life. Aidan’s lips warmed against her ear, causing her to shiver. “Shh, please, sweetheart. Don’t cry,” he crooned in her ear. “I’m here for you, and we’re going to get through this together.”
His words reassured her, and for both him and for Noah, she tried composing herself. When her cries begin to quiet, Aidan pulled away and stared intently at her. His blue eyes blazed with intensity. “Listen to me. You have every right to be scared, but I want you to believe me when I say that Noah is going to be fine. He’s blessed with some strong as hell genes.” Placing his hand on her belly, he smiled. “He’s part Fitzgerald, and for generations, the men of my family have been known for being tough, scrappy fighters with a will of iron to survive.”
“Really?” she questioned with a hiccup.
Aidan nodded. “But even more than the fighting Irish Fitzgerald blood pumping through him, he’s inherited the most amazing DNA from his mother. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
His words, coupled with the sincerity in which he spoke them, caused a burning wildfire in her chest. “Oh Aidan,” she murmured.
He brushed her hair out of her face. “You just have to keep being strong, Em. That fire that burns so deep within you—the one that’s seen you through the darkest times—you’ve got to stoke it to burn a little brighter.”
“I’ll try.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” He rose up off the floor. “Now come on. All the hot water is going to be gone before you get cleaned up.”
When he tore his shirt over his head, she widened her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Taking my shirt off. I don’t wanna get drenched helping you take a shower.”
Her head shook wildly from side to side. “I don’t need your help.”
“You’re exhausted, Em. Just let me help you, okay?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“And why not?”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “Because you’ll see me…”
A playful grin curved on his lips. “Have you forgotten that I’m well acquainted with every beautiful inch of your body?”
She stared down at her hands in her lap. “No, but it was different then. We were different then.”
The feel of his intense stare made her finally look up. “And it’s different now because I’m not going to devour you when I see you naked. I’m going to take care of you. There are more levels of intimacy than just sex, Emma.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“So let me help you.”
She exhaled a defeated breath and nodded. “Will you turn the chair around, so I’m not facing you?”
An amused glint twinkled in his eyes. “Yes, Miss Modest, I can.”
“For your information, there’s more of me than the last time you saw me,” she argued as he adjusted the seat.
He turned around and shrugged. “I doubt that. Besides, you’re still just as beautiful as the first time I saw you.”
“Always the flirt, aren’t you?” she replied with a grin.
“Just stating facts, ma’am.” Aidan’s hands then reached for the hem of her shirt. Instead of protesting, she let him pull it over her head. His gaze hovered over her cleavage a little longer than it should have before he tossed her shirt onto the wicker hamper. “Stand up,” he instructed.
“You’re so bossy.”
“And you’re so damn stubborn,” he countered as he pulled her pants down.
Left in only her underwear, she shivered. As if to even the playing field, Aidan’s fingers went to his fly and took his pants off as well. His eyes met hers as she brought her arms around her back and unfastened her bra. After it slid to the floor, she wrapped her arms around her breasts.
“Oh Em, seriously? Quit acting like I’m some pervert getting off at this.”
That little flicker of hellfire sparked within her at his exasperation. Her hands then went to the waistband of her underwear, and she ripped the panties down her thighs as best she could with her belly getting in
the way. Meeting his surprised gaze she strode over to the shower and sat down on the chair. “I’d like my vanilla body wash please and the pink sponge. Thank you.”
His chuckle echoed off the bathroom walls. Sticking his hand in the shower, he gave her the body wash. “I already put your shampoo in there.” He closed the shower door behind him. Emma didn’t dare glance back to see if he’d dropped his boxers or not. “Want me to wash your hair?”
“You seriously want to do that?”
“Of course. Besides it’s not like you’re going to let me wash the good parts anyway.”
A giggle escaped her lips. “I thought you were going to behave,” she protested.
“I am. That’s why I want to keep my hands busy with your hair.”
“Fine then.”
Taking the shower nozzle, he brought it to her head, soaking her hair. Once it was fully wet, he squirted the peach smelling shampoo in one hand and then worked up a lather.
She couldn’t help moaning as his fingers massaged her scalp. “Oh God, that feels so good.”
“I’m glad you like it. If I end up getting fired for taking this time off, maybe I have a future in cosmetology.”
Emma laughed. “I can’t quite see you doing hair for a living.”
“Me either.”
“You know, you washing my hair like this reminds me of Out of Africa when Robert Redford washes Meryl Streep’s hair,” Emma remarked.
“My mom loved that movie.”
“Really?”
Aidan laughed as he started rinsing her hair. “Yeah, she loved anything with Robert Redford. She used to say he reminded her of a blonde haired version of Pop.”
“Oh my God, now that I think of it, Patrick does look a little like Robert Redford!”
“I can’t believe he hasn’t already mentioned it to you. It used to give him a big head.”
“Hmm, an inflated ego? Sounds like a Fitzgerald family trait.”
“Ha, ha,” he replied. When Aidan’s fingers ran over the ridge of her scar, she tensed. “Em, what’s this?”
The sponge she had been bathing with fell from her hands and onto the tile floor. “It’s nothing. Just an old war wound.”
“It doesn’t feel like nothing.” Aidan’s hand left her head and came to rest on her shoulder. “Tell me.”
She hugged her arms around her chest. “It’s a reminder of a very painful time in my life when I did something very stupid.” When Aidan’s hand remained frozen on her shoulder, she sighed. “After my mother died, I was so alone. My grief for Travis was still very fresh. There was no husband, no father, no mother...I couldn’t see through the dark clouds that I still had Grammy and Granddaddy.”
A tremble ran through her body as she let the skeletons of her past dance precariously around her. “One night when I was in the mountains, I got up in the middle of the night and got into the car. I started flying over those curvy roads, hoping another car would come along, and I could end it all.”
“Oh God,” Aidan muttered, his hands squeezed her shoulders tight.
She glanced back at him. “I slammed into a tree instead. And even though it totaled the car and gave me that horrific scar, I walked away.”
“Was that the only time you tried to…” She could tell he couldn’t bear to say the words.
Emma gave a quick nod. “After that night, I knew it was meant for me to stay alive—to try to live a happy life for my parents and for Travis. I found a really good therapist, and she, along with my family and my faith, helped me through it.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me.” He leaned over and planted a kiss on the crown of her wet head. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“You really are.”
“What I did was really stupid and selfish and —”
Aidan shook his head. “I’m not going to judge you, Em. I’ve never had to go through the hell that you have. I’m just glad you’re here.”
“Thank you.”
He turned off the water. Glancing back at her, he asked, “All clean?”
She laughed. “Yes, all clean.”
He opened the shower door and went over to get her a towel and her robe. She was glad to see he still had on his underwear. Although with it soaked through, she had a very fine view of the imprint of his ass.
Rolling her eyes at her out-of-control hormones, she turned her gaze back to the tile. When he handed her the towel, she started drying off her arms and legs. He pulled her hair up and wrapped another towel around her head.
“Are you getting hungry?”
“Umm, hmm,” she murmured as she slid into her robe.
“What sounds good?”
She arched her brows in surprise. “You’ll fix anything I want?”
“Yep. Or go out and pick it up.”
“How about some of your shrimp scampi?”
Aidan nodded. “While you’re drying your hair, I’ll fix it and bring it to you.”
“Are you going to bring it on a silver tray with a rose bud in a crystal vase?” she asked, with a grin.
“Always that mouth,” he muttered as he headed out of the bathroom.
Emma giggled as she got out her hair dryer. She eased down on the toilet seat before Aidan could order her to do it. Once her hair was dry, she slid into a pair of pajamas and got into the bed. Beau happily climbed up beside her.
She eyed a stack of books on the nightstand before reading through the titles. They were predominantly nonfiction, self-help books. She picked up one of her favorites, Tuesdays with Morrie, and began rereading.
Aidan appeared a little while later with a tray with two plates and two drinks but sans the crystal vase and rose. She sniffed appreciatively. “Oh God, that smells so good!”
“Thank you.”
She eased up in bed and took the tray. As Aidan grabbed his plate, she motioned to the nightstand. “What’s up with the reading material?” she asked.
Pink tinged his cheeks. “Oh, um, well, those were recommended by my therapist.”
Emma choked on the bite of scampi she had taken. Once she recovered, she asked, “You’re in therapy?”
He nodded, turning his head from her intense gaze as he sat down in the glider. “How long have you been seeing a therapist?”
Staring at his plate, he nudged a piece of shrimp around with his fork. “Do you even have to ask?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He snapped his gaze up to meet hers. “I made an appointment the morning after I epically screwed up my life and yours.”
“I see.”
“I really like Dr. Leighton. She’s really helping me work on a lot of things.”
“How often do you go?”
“Three times a week.”
Emma gulped. “That often.” Even when she was dealing with her immense grief, she only went twice a week.
He gave her a sheepish grin. “I asked for the most intense program because I wanted to fix myself as fast as I could…for you and for Noah.”
She couldn’t still the rapid beating of her heart. He wanted to be a better man for her—to right all the wrongs he had done, and most of all be everything she wanted and needed him to be. Part of her wanted to reach over and hug him tight—to tell him that her heart still belonged to him and always would. But she couldn’t. She was too gun-shy.
“Wanna watch a movie?” he suddenly asked. When she gave him a skeptical look, he grinned. “Your pick, I promise.”
Her mind whirled with the possibilities. “The Sound of Music.”
Aidan winced. “Christ, do we really have to watch a musical?”
“You said my pick!” she countered.
“Fine, fine,” he muttered, digging into the mammoth box of DVD’s he had brought from her house. Once he found it, he popped it into the player and then grabbed his plate. He eased in the bed beside her rather than back in the glider.
“How’s the scampi?”
r /> “Mmm, delicious.” She grinned at him. “I sure hope you made more.”
He chuckled. “In your condition, I figured it was best to double the recipe.”
“Oh my hero,” she replied.
“Let me guess. Your hero is going to be marching his happy ass back to the kitchen in a minute to get you another plate.”
She batted her eyelashes at him. “Yes, but I’ll be sweet and at least wait until you finish eating first.”
“Angel of mercy,” he muttered through a mouthful of scampi.
Giggling, she flipped on the TV. As the opening credits began and Julie Andrews started twirling and singing on the mountaintop, Emma snuggled the blanket closer to her and sighed with contentment.
“You really dig this shit, don’t you?” Aidan asked.
She glanced over at him. “What if I were to tell you I played Maria my senior year in high school?”
Aidan swallowed hard. “You mean you wore a nun’s costume?”
“Of course I did.”
He licked his lips. “Damn, that’s hot.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”
Aidan chuckled. “Sorry babe, but every man has his fantasies.”
“You fantasize about me in a nun’s costume?”
“Actually you in anything…or nothing,” he replied with a wink.
“Whatever,” she mumbled as she fixated her gaze on the screen and not him.
After another plateful of scampi, her eyes grew heavy. When she glanced over at Aidan, his eyes were glassy, but she wasn’t sure if it was from exhaustion or being forced to watch a musical. She nodded off just before the Von Trapp’s escaped into Switzerland.
When she woke up, it was dark outside. Glancing over her shoulder, Aidan wasn’t beside her anymore. The sound of the shower running alerted her where he had gone. Peeking at the clock on the nightstand, it was just after six.
Yawning, she stretched her arms over her head before pushing herself into a sitting position. Shifting her body made her bladder scream for release. Nibbling her lip, she gazed at the closed bathroom door. There were two options: bust in on Aidan’s shower or be a coward and go down the hall to the half-bath in the foyer.