At least that's what I often find it useful for people to think.
I shrugged. "I decided to ride my bike."
"You w/7af?"Cassiesaid.
Cassie and Rachel are best friends. Like me and Jake, they're almost complete opposites. While Rachel's well dressed and prone to violence, Cassie's a slob and good and caring and strong - and usually right.
"I rode my bike," I repeated impatiently. "Weren't you the one giving me grief about never exercising? So I exercised."
No way was I going to tell the others about my morph freakout. That I'd barely managed to de-morph before suffocating. That I had been too freaked to try morphing again.
A fluke, that's all it was. I'd been distracted, preoccupied. I must have lost focus. I was just going to put it out of my mind. Just forget that something that was already terrifying had gone to total nightmare.
20 «Ah, yes. Physical fitness,» Ax said in thought-speak. «But surely a special array of artificial skins are necessary. From "These Messages" on television, I have learned that fitness requires particular shoes and particular clothing. It is not possible to become physically fit dressed as you are, Marco.»
Ax, also known as Aximilli-Esgarrouth-lsthill, is our resident alien.
He's an Andalite. Think deer. Except with blue fur. And a humanoid torso growing out of the front of his body. A torso with skinny arms and seven-fingered hands.
Weird enough for you yet? But wait! There's more!
Andalites have human-shaped heads. With deerlike ears. No mouth. Eyes inside their skull, just like you and me. But on top of their heads they have an auxiliary pair attached to stalks that can twist and turn 360 degrees. Making it virtually impossible to sneak up behind them.
Ax also has a long tail with a blade on the end that could lop your head off before you even saw it twitch.
The Andalites invented morphing technology. It was Ax's brother Elfangor who gave us our powers. Shortly before he was murdered by Visser Three.
At this moment Ax was in his human morph, a
21 strangely attractive DNA combination of me, Jake, Rachel, and Cassie.
"Anyway," Rachel interrupted. "Was that the only reason we called this meeting? So Marco could work off some of his leftover baby fat?"
"I hope not," Jake said tightly. "I've got tons of homework."
"Anyone ever hear of a guy named William RogerTennant?" I asked.
"Sure," Rachel answered. "The hippie guy. The one with that weird touchy-feely talk show with the Lava lamps. Contact Point."
"Didn't he write all those Men Are from Jupiter, Women Are from Venus books?" Jake asked.
«l do not believe either Jupiter or Venus are inhabitable, certainly not by humans,» Ax said.
"Mars, not Jupiter," Cassie corrected.
«Mars may be marginally habitable.»
"Actually, some guys are from Uranus," Rachel said. Then she made a face. "Did I just say that? I'm spending too much time around you, Marco."
"I'm rubbing off on you."
"Different guy anyway," Rachel said. "But Tennant has written a lot of self-help books. My mom reads them. Reads 'em and for, like, two days she's all mellow, then it wears off."
«Self-help books?» Ax asked. «Are they similar to instruction manuals?»
22 «Not exactly, Ax-man,» Tobias said. «Self-help books are like instruction books for living.»
«lndeed? Instructions for living? Such as "Consume necessary nutrients"? "Breathe sufficient air"?»
"Hey! Ax just made a joke."
«l did?»
"Self-help as in wise advice," Cassie explained. "Chicken Soup for Whatever. I'm Okay, You're Messed Up. You know. They give you advice on how to live your life."
«Ah, yes. Like Oprah,» Ax replied. «She, too, enjoys chicken soup. But it must be low-fat and heart healthy.»
Ax has been a bit unusual - if that's possible - since he got a TV in his little woodsy hide-out.
"Okay. Now, if we can slowly back out of the lunatic asylum and rejoin reality," Jake said impatiently. "Marco? You were saying?"
"I was just watching his show -"
Rachel cut me off. "You were watching William Roger Tennant? Marco looking for advice? On what? Coping with shortness?"
"I was just channel surfing," I yelled. "That's not the point! He's a Yeerk! He's using the show to recruit people for The Sharing."
«Uh-oh,» Tobias said.
"What exactly did Tennant say?" Jake asked.
23 I repeated Tennant's pitch to the elderly caller named Marie.
"We have to stop him," Cassie said simply.
"How?" Rachel asked, only half-joking. "Trash the studio?"
Like I said. If we were a hockey team -
"We could launch a direct attack," Jake said thoughtfully. "But what's to stop the Yeerks from moving Tennant to another studio? He'd be back on the air in a few days."
«The real problem is William Roger Tennant himself,» Tobias said. «We've got to find a way to get him off the air. Permanently.»
"Yeah, but how?" I said.
"We dig up some dirt on him," Rachel said. "Major smear campaign. That's how you take down a celebrity. Unless he's like a politician. Or an athlete. They're immune."
Jake frowned. "This means surveillance. We watch him, starting now. When we have the info we need, we take him down. Marco? Take Ax and see what you can find online. An address would be a good start."
"You know, I can surf the Web without Ax holding my hand."
"Yeah, but he can do it without wasting three hours cruising Baywatch Web sites."
"Oooh. Through the heart," I said, miming a knife in the chest.
24 "Then, given the time of day, Ax and Tollies? You take the first shifts. Marco and I will relieve you after school tomorrow. Probably bird morphs, as usual. Okay, Marco?"
I swallowed hard. Morphing. No big deal. Unless . . .
"Okay, Jake. No problemo."
25 « I his bites,» I said. «Why did we get stuck with the Saturday morning shift? I should be asleep right now. Or watching The Powerpuff Girls.»
Cassie and I were in seagull morph, on the top of the compound's east wall. A gust of wind came in from the ocean, forcing me to flap my wings to keep from falling off.
It had been three days since we'd started our surveillance of William Roger Tennant. Three days of watching and waiting.
And during those three days I'd had to morph several times. Not once did I have a problem. No mutant morphs. A huge relief.
26 But the fear still lingered. Why had it happened? Would it happen again? And if so, when?
It had turned out that William Roger Tennant owned a huge beachfront mansion. Three stories. Lots of windows. A compound filled with a variety of trees and shrubs. Hedges sculpted into animal shapes. A stone wall covered with ivy surrounded the property.
«You know why you're here,» Cassie replied. «You switched with Jake so you could watch the South Park marathon last night.»
«Yeah, but that was before I knew about The Powerpuff Girls marathon,» I grumbled. «They shouldn't have more than one marathon in a week. It's just wrong. And why are we still doing this stakeout, anyway? We know Tennant's a Controller. Ax and Tobias saw him sneak into the Yeerk pool through The Gap entrance yesterday morning. What we need is to get inside the house,» I added. «We've got a plan. Albeit a suicidal one. Why not just get it over with?»
«You know why,» Cassie said. «Rachel's on little sister duty this afternoon. We're going in tomorrow. Meanwhile, we're learning Tennant's habits.»
«But we know his habits! And in the past three days he hasn't done anything even remotely illegal or scandalous. The guy's a saint.»
«Yeah, I know,» Cassie agreed. «The guy's
27 squeaky clean. He's spent his entire life helping people. He's given millions to charity: Doctors Without Borders, the Humane Society, all kinds of diseases, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. I mean, if I didn't know bette
r, I'd love this guy. And he's got tons of famous friends -»
«Which is probably why the Yeerks wanted him on board,» I said. «He's a perfect recruiters
William Roger Tennant emerged from the compound, dressed in a dark blue running outfit. Did some stretches. Then started his jog along the beach.
«Like clockwork,» Cassie said.
«Let's go.» My spindly seagull legs pushed off the wall. I opened my wings to catch the warm breeze that was blowing off the water.
Every morning William Roger Tennant went for a forty-five-minute jog along the beach. Same path. Same speed. Same distance.
«Maybe he's not really a Controller after all,» I said. «Maybe he's an android. I mean, what kind of human keeps such a strict schedule?»
We kept Tennant's bouncing brown ponytail in our sights as he jogged along at his deliberate pace.
«Uh-huh,» Cassie agreed. «lt's the same thing every day. From eight a.m. to eight-forty-five a.m. he goes jogging. Comes home, takes a
28 shower. Sits at his desk and works for a few hours. Writes on the computer. Makes a few phone calls. Eats lunch, at his desk. Feeds the birds. Talks to them. Then at five o'clock he hops in his limo and is driven to the TV studio.»
«You know, I kind of wish Tennant weren't a Controller. I mean, apart from the Yeerk in his head he's such a swell guy. I watch Contact Point and I want to tell him about my own problems.»
«Something bothering you, Marco?» Cassie asked.
«No, absolutely not.»
«Uh-huh. So it doesn't bother you that your dad is dating?»
«What? No way. My dad is seriously gaga over Ms. Robbinette. So what? Not my problem, his problem.»
I'd told the others about my dad dating my math teacher. Back in the beginning. I'd had to tell them that much. We had to make sure Ms. Robbinette wasn't a Controller. For three days we'd followed her. She'd never gone near any known Yeerk pool entrances.
«She seems nice,» Cassie said. «Aren't you happy for your dad?»
«Sure. Why not?» I said.
«Still, you're in a tough position,» Cassie said.
«Actually, I'm sorry I brought it up. I don't
29 want to talk about it. It's boring. I mean, who cares, right?»
«0kay.»
«l mean, the situation's bad enough,» I continued. So maybe I did want to talk about it. Just a little bit. «But does she have to be one of my teachers? Let alone my math teacher? And then there's Euclid.»
«Hertoy poodle.»
«Satan with a perm. Simple commands like "sit," "stay," "heel" all mean the same thing to this dog: Bark at Marco. Jump on Marco. Bite Marco's ankle.»
For forty-five minutes we followed William Roger Tennant up the beach and then back to the compound. For forty-five minutes I vented. Cassie may or may not have listened. Every once in a while, she said «"uh-huh"» or «"bummer."»
By the time Tennant walked back through the gate of the compound, I felt a little better.
I had not mentioned the mutant morph.
«l know it's hard, but try to see the positive side of the situation^ Cassie said as we watched Tennant do his post jog stretches. «Your dad is happy. That's a good thing. Start there and maybe things will be okay.»
«Yeah,» I replied.
We landed on the stone wall encircling the compound. Watched William Roger Tennant
30 cross the courtyard and go inside through the main entrance.
From our perch we could see into Tennant's office. It was hard not to. Two of the walls were made almost entirely of glass. The room had an amazing ocean view.
«l mean, it probably doesn't matter anyway. Our chances of surviving tomorrow's mission are slim to none.»
The office door opened. William Roger Ten-nant, now dressed in his usual faded jeans and rumpled button-down oxford shirt, walked over to his desk and sat down. He raised his left hand close to his face.
Perched on his finger was a gray feathered creature about a foot long. He raised it up to his lips and gave it a dainty little kiss.
William Roger Tennant had a large collection of domestic birds. Finches. Parakeets. And cock-atiels.
The plan was for five of us to morph cock-atiels and search his house.
Five tiny, helpless birds fluttering around inside the house of a powerful Yeerk.
We'd get caught, I'd get crushed, I wouldn't even have to think about my dad and the math teacher.
31 L-ockatiels.
According to one of Cassie's bird books, a species originally from Australia. About a foot long, from the crescent-shaped plume of feathers sprouting from the top of its head to the tip of its long gray-feathered tail.
Said to be highly intelligent. Even capable of mimicking human speech. We'd morphed parrots once, long ago. Just to mess with some people's heads. This would be different. We'd be going seriously in harm's way, which brought to mind the image of me yelling, "Squuuuaaawwk, don't kill me, squuaaawwk!"
William Roger Tennant owned ten cockatiels. Along with the other birds they seemed to have
32 free reign of the house, although they spent most of their time in an open aviary. All of which made them perfect morphs for spying on Tennant.
Maybe too perfect.
«Remember. This could be a trap,» Jake said. «Tennant knows about the "Andalite bandits." He knows that at some point we'll try to come after him. What better way to kill us than by luring us into his house in vulnerable morphs?»
«What better way to capture us,» I replied, jerking my head left, right, left, back.
«That's why we're spreading out,» Jake said. «We get in and morph the cockatiels. Marco and Rachel, you stick with Tennant. Cassie, Ax and I will search the house. If one group runs into trouble, the other group hides and does battle morphs. Tobias will stay outside and let us know if the Yeerks send in reinforcements.»
He suddenly sat up on his haunches, looked back, left, focused, right, up.
As far as we knew, William Roger Tennant lived alone with his posse of birds. A housekeeping service came in and cleaned the mansion every morning. Had to be every day what with birds crapping everywhere.
Except for Tennant and the birds, the house was empty all afternoon.
33 We hoped.
«We don't know what's in the basement, Jake,» I pointed out as I jerked my head left, left, right, up. «What if Tennant's got a dozen Hork-Bajir down there? You going to be able to get away in time to morph?»
«We call for you and Rachel. Do you have a problem with this plan, Marco?»
«No,» I replied quickly. What was I going to do? Tell everyone I suddenly wasn't sure they should be relying on me? That I wasn't sure I could morph in an emergency? Just as we were about to go into a very, very dangerous mission? No. «0f course not. Just want to be sure we know the risks. »
«lf Jake's done explaining and Marco's done whining, maybe we can get down to business,» Rachel said. «This morph does not like to sit
«Yes,» Ax added. «This is a very energetic creature. »
The four of us had acquired squirrel morphs. Cassie already had one. Our morphs were like the squirrels scampering around your backyard right now. Gray, brown, and white fur. Long, twitchy bushy tail. Big, twitchy dark brown eyes. More energy than a hyperactive kid after a dozen cups of coffee.
34 Between the five of us we were jerking our heads, looking in every possible direction, about nine times a second.
«0kay. Let's go,» Jake said. He raced up the telephone pole. I raced up after him. So cool! The squirrel might as well have been running horizontally. Tiny little claws instantly found tiny little handholds.
Then, onto a phone line that led to the house. I looked out along that long, swooping wire and felt the squirrel's utter confidence. Walk on a wire? Sure, why not?
Off we went, single file of course, zipping along without a care in the world aside from the incessant, jerky, twitchy caution. I felt rather than saw Tobias in the air above us. The squirrel was
not happy about his shadow.
Along the wire. Off onto a nearby tree branch. Then down onto the top of a stone wall. Then down to the ground in the courtyard.
«We are the ultimate burglars,» Rachel said.
She jumped from the stone wall to a large oak and motored over the courtyard to Tennant's house.
«Ax?» Jake said, stopping to stare with squirrel intensity at the alarm junction.
«The creature's digits are quite nimble,» Ax said. «There should be no problem.»
The house was protected by a high-tech bur-
35 glar alarm system. It took Ax about fifteen seconds to disarm it, working away with his little squirrel hands and chattering in squirrelese the whole time.
It was a bright, sunny day. Plenty of open windows. All had screens. But we'd come up with an insanely brilliant plan to get through the screens. A plan requiring very sophisticated human technology.
«Here goes,» Jake said. He hopped onto a narrow first-floor windowsill, a two-inch-long Swiss Army knife clenched in his teeth.
The window opened into a library a few doors down the hall from Tennant's office. Right next to the aviary. We'd seen Tennant use the library only once, at night.
Cassie had told us we probably didn't want to sneak directly into the aviary. Cockatiels can be kind of nervous. And they can be very loud when upset.
Jake jabbed the blade of the knife into the screen and pushed down on it, making an inch-long incision. Then he stuck his nose in the hole, bit on the screen, and ripped it open another inch.
«0kay, we're in.» Jake tossed the knife back down to the ground. «Tobias? Grab that for me. We don't want to leave any clues.»
Jake slipped through the hole. We followed,
36 one by one, until the five of us were inside. Except for a couple of reading chairs, a floor lamp, and a massive bookcase, the room was bare.
«0kay,» Jake said. «Marco and Rachel. You go first»
«When we're all done acquiring we'll see if we can close off the aviary,» Cassie said. «We don't want Tennant seeing double.»
«0nce Tennant sits down at his desk, he's usually there all afternoon,» Jake went on. «We'll just take a buzz around the place and leave without his ever knowing we were here.»