On went the celebrations, even Florence smiled for a while, the strawberry haired girl slipping her mind for a few moments.
When eventually the crowd fell silent, Florence turned and saw Rafael standing at the edge of the clearing.
"On this day we all rejoice, for we have had one whole year of safety. Today marks the anniversary of the momentous day that brought us our very own purine, Frau Florence." his speech dragged on, Florence was quietly indifferent to the endless trail of compliments, most of which were completely made up. "...and now, please join me in showing our respects for our beloved protector." A cacophony of clapping and cheering stretched on for what seemed like an eternity. Florence forced a smile. No matter what, she couldn't get the look of desperation in the strawberry haired girl's eyes out of her head. The image made her stomach flutter and she couldn't concentrate. The noise filled her head, a high pitched buzz joining in. The sea of small faces before her wavered and swum. Their clapping hands were in her face, slapping together, crashing together, smashing together. Her head spun, faster and faster. The colours were a blur, red into green, blue to yellow.
Her knees buckled and she fell into a heap on the ground.
If only their gasps were able to catch her, maybe then she wouldn't have ended up with so many bruises.
Jill the Reckless
4th June 1939
The book lay in Florence's lap, its cover a creamy colour with red writing, Jill the Reckless. The paper crinkled drily as she turned the cover over.
"Ready?"
"Ja." Lisette's heart fluttered. She had been deprived of books for months.
"Jill the Reckless, by P. G.Wodehouse." The paper crinkled again as the page turned. "Chapter one, the family curse. Freddie Rooke gazed coldly at the breakfast-table. Through a gleaming eye-glass he inspected the revolting object which Barker, his faithful man, had placed on a plate before him. 'Barker!' His voice had a ring of pain. 'Sir?' 'What’s this?' 'Poached egg, sir.' Freddie averted his eyes with a silent shudder. 'It looks just like an old aunt of mine,' he said. 'Remove it!'” Florence gently turned each page as the flow of words came lovingly. The story poured out of the book and into their ears. Ben sat sprawled out on the grass, hands behind his head. Lisette sat still in her rusty, second hand wheelchair. Florence sat cross legged beneath a tree, resting against the trunk. The sun was harsh but the shade was cool and a relief from the warm summer air. The paper was crisp and dry, having only been opened the very first time just before.
...“'Nonsense!' 'The wheeze would simply be to ....' 'It’s impossible.' 'Oh, very well,' said Freddie, damped. 'Just as you say, of course.' 'But there’s nothing like a gang, old son, nothing like a gang!'"
Florence stopped, the Roman numeral for two was sitting next on the page.
"Flory?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you think, maybe, it would be possible to, umm, go exploring?" Lisette asked sheepishly, her face hopeful, unsure.
"Well, I don't know Lisette. I don't know if you're up to it." Lisette raised her eyebrows at her cousin.
"Come on Flory. Don't kid with me. You're not like the others. You the only one who know that I'm a poor, helpless baby who must get her own way." There was no way Lisette would lose. Her words were sarcastic and light hearted, but her desire burned strong, just beneath her skin.
Florence once again saw the plea in her cousin’s eyes. Surely it wasn't a good idea.
"Come on Flory, we don't have to go far. I agree with Lisette. She's been cooped up for months, some fresh scenery may just work wonders." Florence looked at Ben, already decided.
"Alright then. But we can't go far, all right?" Ben already had Lisette's wheelchair by the handles and was wheeling her away.
"Come on Flory. It'll be fine."
And so it was. The moment they left the Mele's garden Lisette felt better. It was like the gentle breeze was blowing off the heavy cloak that was draped across her shoulders. As she re-entered the forest for the first time in months, she took her first breath of real, pure air. The first breath that truly stroked her lungs, bathing every artery and vein in gorgeous oxygen. The first breath she could really taste, the freshness and beauty stung her tongue. The first breath that she could appreciate. She savoured and treasured it like it was gold. Although, to her, it very well could have been gold.
Florence and Ben had brilliant smiles on their faces, but neither were happier than Lisette.
The child with very little
11th June 1939
"So Lisette, it's your day. What do you want to do?"
"I want to go to Dreiheimne and go fishing again." The girl sat slumped in her bed, an unopened present lying in her lap.
Florence and Ben glanced at each other. There was no point in trying to say no. It was her birthday after all. She deserved this little luxury, at the very least.
Sneaking out of Lisette's new room downstairs, Ben carried her on his back, Florence, with the present, in his wake. The floorboards creaked and they winced. But of course, despite their attempt at stealthy movements, the inevitable happened.
"Salomon? Is that you?" Édith appeared from the doorway of her bedroom and stopped dead in her tracks.
"What on earth are you doing?" she asked, completely caught off guard. Florence and Ben were lost for words. They'd broken the rules big time and there was no going back now.
Fortunately Lisette was too determined to let anyone stand in her way.
"Florence and Ben are taking me out. They seem to be the only ones who know what's good for me. Don't worry about me Maman, crois-moi." Édith stared at her little daughter and choked on her words.
How could a mother say no? Especially to Lisette? She had so little, how could she possibly take more away?
"At least take the wheelchair."
*
For the rest of her life,
Édith Mele would regret not doing more for her daughter.
She wished she could have taken her to the sea more often.
Taken her around her country more,
bought her that extra lolly,
given her that extra hug,
that extra kiss.
If only she could have known.
Known what was in store for her only daughter.
*
The wheels of the wheelchair bumped and crashed over sticks and rocks, throwing its passenger about. Not that she minded of course, she barely even noticed. It was the furthest she'd gone outside for over five months.
With Florence in the lead, Ben pushed the girl through the trees to the pond. It certainly was no easy feat.
The water rippled, glinting off the sun and it made Lisette's stomach fill with overexcited butterflies. She had never seen a more beautiful place. The trees were the greenest and lushest she had ever seen. The summer sky was spotted with gold rimmed clouds. The air was sweet and fresh and the water was as inviting as a fire in the wintertime. If she could, she would have thrown her shoes off and darted into the water. But as it was, she couldn't. So instead, she sighed and gazed dreamily into the rippling water.
The improvised fishing line was hooked up and placed beside Lisette. It stood upright like a guard on patrol.
When some poor fish finally took the bait, all the birds in the trees flew away in panic. The cheers and yells of Florence and Ben echoed around the pond. Lisette joined in with a smile, but it just wasn't the same.
No matter how amazing your best friends are, nothing can be the same once your life changes beyond return.
*
The present was taken gently from Lisette's lap and the recycled wrapping was torn off. It was crinkled up into a papery ball and the gift was placed back onto her lap for her to admire.
"Claudine à l'école, par Colette." Lisette read. The brown cover was soft and slightly scraggly.
"I'll read it next, alright?" Florence smiled at the expression on her cousin's pale face. Lisette simply nodded, choking on her words.
"Happy Birthday Lise
tte, we both love you very much." Ben wrapped his arms around her, but of course she couldn't return it. Florence joined in and the three once again embraced in silence.
Rafael's threat
11th June 1939
There was a sharp knock on the door. Grace shot a worried look at her husband before scraping her chair back. She turned the handle with her bony hand and the door creaked open.
"A private word with you, if you will?" Rafael stood on her front doorstep, his crisp words more of a command rather than a request. Nervously, Grace stepped outside, into the darkness of the night. The old frescreet grabbed her wrist and she had to restrain herself from ripping it away. Near the clearing's edge, he stopped and turned. He faced her with icy eyes.
"What do you think you are doing? You would be stupid to think I haven't noticed."
"I don't know what you are talking about." she lied.
"Don't mock me. But, I suppose I mustn't be too harsh on you. You are, after all, just a silly little human at heart. Besides, it's only natural that you would want to save your sister. I can understand that-"
"No of course you don't Rafael, if you understood, you wouldn't be doing this to me, or Florence for that matter. You're too selfish to look beyond your own non-existent heart." Grace's eyes were on fire. It was a wonder they didn't melt the icy ones she was staring into.
"You are fully aware of what I can do. You would keep your distance from Florence if you know what's good for her." His open threat flew in through her ears and fell to the bottom of her feet. His voice no longer held any patience. "I think you had best get back to your husband now Grace." Speechless, she turned and stalked away, holding her head high, biting back a scream and the tears. "Remember Grace, I'll be watching." Grace's door slammed shut and the old hunched man hobbled away.
In the kitchen, Grace sat slumped on her chair. She held her head in her hands and her tears splashed onto the table. Her husband, Johann, stroked her hair, his other hand on her shoulder. All was silent but the quiet gasps and sniffles of Grace's weeping.
Her fight hadn't been extinguished.
Not yet. Not ever.
Fires that burn so brightly can never be put out.
The cane clicked on the stones as Rafael hobbled up to his front door. The door was opened before his hand even touched it.
"Where have you been?" Jael stood in the doorway. Her voice quavered but she managed to bite back her anger.
"Sorry Jael, I just been, tying off some loose ends." She raised her eyebrows but accepted his answer in silence.
*
Jael wasn't stupid,
She had noticed Rafael was keeping something from her.
He didn't trust her like he should.
But,
she was still naive.
Naive enough to sit back and take it.
Silly girl.
*
Alone with one thousand thoughts
18th June 1939
She had a few hours. A few hours when no one was expecting her. A few hours alone. Of course, being Florence, she decided to spend those few solitary hours in the forest. With just the clothes on her back, she walked out of her house and past the tree line.
For once, she was alone. There were no frescreets, no Ben, no Lisette. Even Ollie wasn't there. For the first time in months, Florence was truly alone.
*
If this were a film,
that would be the part when I would appear in the shot,
smiling slyly,
creepily.
She was never alone.
I am always there.
*
The warm air felt like hot soup, thick and gluey. The softened twigs and leaves gasped under her bare feet and the clouds filled the sky, covering the sun like a torch beneath a bed sheet.
A soft tune was on her lips, barely audible. Instead of heading left, down the lightly trodden path to the frescreets, she turned right, away from her path and into the thick of the trees.
*
Most people wouldn't go into the forest alone,
even if their life depended on it.
I suppose that makes Florence 'not most people'.
The forest was where she felt best,
it was her second home.
*
Underneath a thick tree with foliage reaching down to the ground, Florence made her seat.
She opened Jill the Reckless, and began reading.
It felt nice to be reading alone for once, not having to read aloud or be listened to. Her eyes strained in the dim light. The bark from the tree jabbed into her back. Her legs were sore from the sticks and leaves. Florence barely noticed any of this. Her senses were numbed and tingly. Several times she nearly fell asleep, not because she was tired but because she was so calm. Eventually though, after reaching chapter six, she left the forest floor.
The water splashed beneath her bare feet. It ran between her toes and under her dirty nails. She followed the river, walking right up the middle. It lead her to nowhere in particular, there was nowhere in particular she wanted to go. The trees shade was cool and it soothed her clammy skin. Thoughts trickled in and out of her mind, none staying too long. The usual buzz of ideas and things to remember were left behind in her empty room to collect again later. For now it was just her easy flowing head and the sounds of the forest.
Upstream, an hour or so from home, the peace was spoilt. It was spoilt like a slap on your birthday. Something always seems to pop up and destroy the moment.
But this time it wasn't a bill, but a hair ribbon.
There was no doubt in her mind that it belonged to a wandering frescreet. Who else would have been there? Her mind no longer flowed like the river beneath her feet but instead it was clogged up. Clogged with the remembrance of reality. With the ribbon between her fingers, she turned and headed back down the river, the forest no longer seeming so beautiful. The peaceful sounds clashed with her busying thoughts, a cacophony inside her head.
*
It seemed that she didn't really leave her pandemonium of thoughts behind.
When you have as much to worry and think about as Florence did,
you'll find it is quite impossible to ever leave your thoughts behind.
Quite impossible.
*
Playing teacher
19th June 1939
Even with only a few more days left in Florence's school life, she was still lost for ideas for her future.
There were no master plans.
No hopes and dreams of adventure to fulfil.
No ache for the bigger picture to satisfy.
So far, it had just been Florence and her family of frescreets. Being too poor to go to university or even finish her schooling, Florence simply chose not to worry too much. Whatever work came her way she would take. If you were in her position, you would understand that any work was good work.
Of course, all of this didn't mean Florence was stumbling around in pitch black, completely blind. More like stumbling around in the heavy grey fog with thick sunglasses on.
Undoubtedly she still had several wishes.
*
The two wishes of Florence Mele:
1. To give Lisette the best life possible, or at least what was left of it.
2. To keep the frescreets safe.
*
Being the purine she was, she naturally put others before herself, thus not having any selfish wishes. Unfortunately for her, this left her empty handed. While she would work for others, she would work her life away.
The greatest challenge Florence would ever face was herself. She would fight with herself to be more selfish. Do something for herself for once. All the trouble she would face came back to her childhood. Even before you were introduced to her.
It was written in her DNA. It was who she was.
On the other hand, Lisette knew exactly what she wanted for her life. She had grand plans and dreams to follow. She had places to go and things to see. She had books t
o write and Olympics to compete in. She had mountains to hike and seas to sail upon.
Her boundless dreams and aspirations were killing her like a sword to the heart. But the sword was the knowledge that now they would stay dreams and aspirations forever. Nothing more.
In those last few school days, nothing much was achieved. Just as it was every year, everyone's minds were set on the summer ahead. Even the teachers. There was no hesitation in working the students hard, though. With the teachers watching over with thundery voices, they scrubbed the desks of all graffiti, they washed the windows and they swept the floors.
"Verdammt! Zut! Damn! Accidenti!" Florence swore under her breath in every language she knew. Her multi language curse bank happened to be quite extensive.
She damned her arms that ached. She cursed the wooden planks that hurt her knees. She swore at the time which was flying by faster than she would have liked. There was barely enough time to say goodbye to her short list of friends, let alone to think about what she would do after her schooling years were over.
For the past few weeks, since Lisette had come home, Florence had been playing teacher. There was no denying Lisette missed her school friends, the bustling class and even the grumpy teacher at the head of the room. She longed to sit through another maths class, to feel the hunger play with her mind and to remind herself that lunch would be soon. There was also no denying that she missed learning. Her head felt old and dull, like it was wrapped in a three month old bed sheet. There was no new information for her to chew over in those endless, sluggish hours.
So she asked a favour of her cousin.
"Flory?"
"Mmm?"
"Please, teach me something."
So that was how the lessons began. Sitting on the end of Lisette's bed, Florence would teach her cousin. Arithmetic would often get Lisette's head in muddle, so they would always give it up and move on. Move on to reading, of course. Nearly all of their time was spent reading. Sewing was out of the question. As was cooking and gym. Her only student couldn't do any of it. So they were stuck with German, French and arithmetic.