“Perhaps because they saw it as a betrayal.”
“I came to that conclusion as well, though not until years later. I don’t know how I got home that day—at least, I have no memory of it. Because I was beat up pretty badly, for once I even had my mother’s attention again. I do remember that, and I even let her coddle me in bed for a day. That was a strange mixture of feelings, being glad that she was noticing me again but angry that I had to get hurt for it to happen. Yet there was also an urgency. I still had to set things right with Dougi. And the urgency won out.”
“So you sought Dougi oot, wi’oot giving yourself a chance tae mend first?”
“Tried to. Unfortunately, all his brothers had heard what had happened by then—their version anyway—and were up in arms about it. I got to see Dougi, though not alone. Four of his brothers stood there to keep me from getting close to him. Their attitude didn’t make it easy to apologize, but I did so, only to hear them scoffing that I wasn’t sincere. Whether Dougi believed them or not, he wouldn’t accept my apology. And his brothers wouldn’t even let me see him after that, to try again. Which was when I lost my temper with the lot of them.”
“You didna think tae let the matter settle down first afore you tried again?”
“Do you really think that would have made a difference with your uncles?”
“It might have. It was at least another option tae try. But perhaps that didna occur tae you?”
“No, I admit I wasn’t thinking very clearly at the time. I was devastated. As I saw it, I’d lost the best friend I’d ever had over some stupid teasing that had gone awry, and the rest of the MacFearsons weren’t going to allow me to correct it. My rage over their interference just got worse and worse. And my mother added guilt to the issue, ordering me not to leave the house and to stay away from them, neither of which I could do at that point. It was paramount that I get to Dougi to make things right with him.”
“Sae you felt guilt for ignoring your mother’s directives, sorrow for the whole mess, and rage because m’uncles united tae keep you from fixing it. Aye, some powerful emotions tae be plaguing such a young child.”
He gave her an odd look. “You make it sound so very simple.”
She blushed. “Nae, I’m no’ trying tae make the matter seem trivial, just trying tae picture what all o’ that would do tae a young laddie.”
“I wasn’t complaining about your assessment, I’d just never looked at it from such a simplistic view myself. At the time, however, I wouldn’t have been able to if I’d tried. There was also some pain involved—quite a bit, frankly—since I’d ended up with a few broken bones from that first encounter and a few more from the next. Looking back, I know that pain clouded my reasoning, but I just couldn’t see it happening. To anyone else it probably did make me seem somewhat crazy. But in my mind I had a goal that had to be met, to get to Dougi, even if I had to plow through his brothers to do it.”
She leaned forward until she could touch his hand. “Pain can do strange things tae you—aside from hurting.”
He smiled at her. “I suppose it can. To be honest, my memory is rather vague on what happened after that. I’m sure I kept trying to see Dougi. I know there were more fights. I vaguely remember pounding my fists bloody on a locked door—I assume it was my own—and climbing out the window eventually, which broke another bone or two, because my hands hurt too much to be able to grip the sheets I’d tied together. I remember my mother crying over my injuries. I just don’t remember which ones or at what point. But I probably could have brought tears to a stone by then, I was so beat up. I remember the pain being constant, that nothing would make it go away, and it was too great to even allow sleep. I think the lack of sleep may be why my memories are in such a jumble.”
“But you did finally sleep?”
“Yes, if you can call being drugged sleeping,” he replied sourly. “And for a very long time I was kept that way. He was a very gruff doctor we had, the only one available in that area. His motto seemed to be ‘If you can’t reason with a patient—then don’t.’”
“For how long?”
“I have no idea, really, though when I finally came out of it, I was almost completely mended.”
“But you could think clearly again after that?” she questioned.
“Oh, yes, and was met with the amazing news that I’d lost my home. I was to live with my Uncle Richard in England thereafter.”
Melissa sat back with another sigh. It was impossible to miss the bitterness that had entered his tone. It didn’t surprise her. To grasp everything that had occurred to him, and at such a young age—it was more than she could stomach.
“Perhaps that was for the best. Or were you done butting heads wi’ m’uncles?”
He shrugged. “I’ll never know. It wasn’t something I had time to think about, when I was told as soon as I awoke that I’d be leaving the next day. It was apparently easier for my mother to ship me off than to deal with my problem.”
“But what could she have done?”
“Got the matter resolved.”
“How? You think she could’ve reasoned with the MacFearsons, when there’s no Scot more stubborn than they are? They decided you were crazy, or capable o’ crazy actions, which is pretty much the same, aye. You could’ve behaved like a saint from then on, but they wouldna have trusted you tae no’ go crazy on them again, and for that reason they wouldna have let you near Dougi again.”
“Is it because you’re a woman that you’re taking my mother’s side? Or do you really believe that?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Neither. I merely know my uncles. And I’m telling you, you could ne’er have left Scotland, could have lived there till now, just miles away from them, but they would’ve kept you away from Dougi. The only way you could e’er have talked tae him again would have been tae find him alone. And even if he forgave you and wanted tae go on as before, it wouldna have happened. They would have forbidden it, and then they would’ve been the ones fighting—wi’ each other. Sae I’m thinking that if you couldna leave the matter go and forget you e’er met them, then ’tis better all around that you went tae live elsewhere.”
“But I was never given a chance to make that decision. I can’t say if I would have given up or not. But I’ll never know, because I wasn’t there to find out.”
“Ah, sae that is the bitter root you still carry? No’ that m’uncles put a wall ’tween you and Dougi, but that you werena there tae try tae break it down or no’.”
He made such a sour face over her conclusion that she laughed. He might have taken offense, but he didn’t. He even smiled at her.
“I rather like it that you aren’t afraid to disagree with me,” he said.
“Och, glad I am tae hear that,” she said with a show of exaggerated relief, then added seriously, “But there’s nothing tae disagree about in this case. Hearing the whole o’ it, wi’oot being one o’ the participants, I can only guess at the causes. The ifs and maybes are redundant. What happened back then canna be changed. It happened. That it’s come back tae haunt you in an unexpected way is what needs tae be discussed.”
“Indeed,” he agreed. “Being told who you are related to was a shock, but nothing in comparison to being told to stay away from you.”
“I take it you’ve been abiding by their wishes?” she guessed.
He nodded. “Only because I assumed you’d been talked to as well and were in agreement with them. But when Justin paid me a visit—”
She cut in, “Ah, so that’s why he suggested I call on your womenfolk.”
“He didn’t tell you why?”
“Nae. I can only assume he spoke wi’ one o’ m’uncles and was asked tae stay oot o’ it.”
Lincoln sighed. “Apparently. But what I cannot comprehend is why they would go to the trouble of seeking me out to warn me off, yet make no effort whatsoever to tell you they’d done so and why. Do you know why they would neglect to mention any of this to you?”
??
?That’s easy enough tae guess.”
“Then enlighten me, because it seems as if they don’t care what state of mind this has left you in, and if that’s the case, then why do they care who courts you?”
She suggested, “You’re letting your opinion of them color your assumptions. Tae answer why they might think it best no’ tae mention this tae me, you should know that there were a few lads who showed up tae court me at home. M’uncles managed tae scare them off, no’ intentionally, but the lads had heard the ’legend,’ o’ course. M’uncles could’ve merely looked at them wrong, and they’d have run for the hills. But because o’ that—and ’twas only recent—they’d probably rather I didna know they’d done it again, this time intentionally.”
“That’s it?” he said incredulously. “They’d rather let you think the worst of me—that I could state my intentions and then proceed to ignore you—rather than simply explain why they don’t think I’m the right man for you?”
“Well, there’s also the fact that although I love them dearly, they have no real control o’er what I will or willna do,” she replied.
“You mean you’re not obliged to obey them?”
“That’s a wee bit inflexible, tae put it that way. I’d hear them oot, o’ course, and if they make sense, I’d likely agree wi’ them. But when it comes tae the rest o’ m’life, nae, those decisions are mine tae be making.”
“And your father’s? Your uncles seem quite certain that he’ll change his mind about me and do some forbidding of his own.”
She winced. She hadn’t had time yet to think how her parents would view all this. For that matter, she hadn’t had time yet to mull it over, other than to consider her first instincts, which were that he wasn’t crazy, just a victim of a strange set of circumstances that had got out of hand. But her uncles could be quite persuasive when they were all of them banded together in a common cause. Not that her father would bend under such heavy odds if he were of a differing opinion. But still, Lincoln would have to have something strongly in his favor for her father to support him against such odds.
Twenty-Two
“YOUR silence isn’t very encouraging,” Lincoln said with a great deal of disappointment. “I take it I won’t like your answer?”
She hadn’t meant to prolong his suspense or give him the wrong impression. But it had occurred to her that once again her uncles were going to keep him from a personal goal. Was the past going to relive itself? Would he butt heads with them again because of it? No, they were all adults now, and adults talked their way through such things, without resorting to violence. Well, they ought to.
“I willna lie tae you, Lincoln. I’ve ne’er in m’life disobeyed m’da. Ne’er wanted tae, ne’er felt a need tae. Sae ordinarily I’d obey him wi’oot question.”
“Ordinarily?”
“Well, there’s m’feelings tae take intae account. There’s also m’mother’s opinion, which has been known tae change his on occasion.”
“Wouldn’t she be inclined to agree with her brothers?” he asked.
“Nae, just the opposite.” Melissa finally had a reason to grin. “She was raised English, which is no’ tae argue wi’ your elders, but anyone younger is fair game. And they’re all younger than her, as it happens.”
He chuckled. “I probably should disagree, since I was raised English as well.”
“Go ahead, I’m younger than you—by all o’ twenty years as I recall you thinking.”
He smiled at the reminder of the teasing they’d done about her age when they first met. That particular smile, though, affected her senses in an extraordinary way. It made her blush—and feel other things. She almost wished he weren’t so handsome. It was strange for her, having a man’s looks disturb her in such unsettling ways.
It seemed to be contagious, too. Her reaction to his smile, being somewhat visible—truly, a lot visible—affected him as well. His expression softened, his gaze turned sensually admiring. She was reminded quite potently that for all intents and purposes they were completely alone. And she’d better stop thinking along those lines….
She quickly got back to the matter at hand. “M’da is a fair man, extremely so. He’s been the MacGregor since afore I was born, and making decisions that have bearing on many, no’ just himself. My uncles are reactionary, as I’m sure you know. They’ll swing first and talk about it after. M’da is just the opposite. Probably because o’ his great size, he tends tae give any conflicts careful thought first.”
“He gets along well with your uncles?”
She chuckled. “Let us say he tolerates them. Being wed tae their only sister, who they’re pledged tae guard and protect no matter what, you can imagine he’s had his differences wi’ them, and no’ just a few. They’ve had many fights, both physical and verbal, o’er the years.”
“Now, that is encouraging.”
She made a face at him. “Bah, dinna be thinking that’s tae your good. As I said, he listens afore he reacts. He’ll be hearing everything they have tae say aboot you, you can be sure, which I hope willna be anything more than what you’ve said yourself.”
“I held nothing back. If there’s more to it, I simply don’t remember it.”
“That’s fine,” she replied. “Having already heard the brief version from Ian One, I’m thinking there canna be anything worse tae add tae it. I’m also guessing it’s your temper they’re most worried about, since it got sae oot o’ hand that it made you seem crazy. Have you had any problems wi’ your temper since that time?”
He shook his head. “I tend to keep such feelings to myself now.”
She frowned thoughtfully. “That’s no’ always a good thing, but…well, never mind. Tae keep tae the subject, though, I think you mun convince m’family that you’re no’ crazy, is all. And since I’m sure you’re no’ crazy, that shouldna be too hard for you tae do.”
“Sure, are you?”
She noted his grin. She would have swatted him if she were more familiar with him. A few more meetings and she wouldn’t hesitate. She settled on a scowl.
“This whole thing is going tae come down tae perception on their part, and if you get your foot in the door, I dinna doubt a testing. Your temper will be under close scrutiny by one and all, since it is the bone o’ contention. Now you’ve told your side wi’oot once raising your voice and wi’ only a couple sour looks, so I’m thinking you’ve outgrown any wild tendencies you may have once had. But I havena tried tae provoke you. Dinna doubt m’uncles will. And how will you be holding up under such fire?”
“With several buckets of water at hand.”
She stared at him, then burst out laughing. “Aye, Mr. Scot turned lordly English, I’m thinking you’ll do verra well—that’s assuming you get let in the door again. You can be sure I’ll be having words wi’ m’uncles that they willna like, o’er their high-handedness on m’behalf. But I’ve a feeling they’ll stand by their decision until m’da gets here tae say otherwise. In the meantime—”
“In the meantime,” he cut in as he sat forward, his elbows on his knees in a relaxed manner. “My problem, as I see it, is, how am I going to get you away from your despicable uncles to continue my courtship, short of abducting you?”
“Abducting, eh? Why is that no’ sounding a frightful experience?”
He grinned and reached forward to caress her cheek. “Would you like to be…abducted?”
Now she knew they were talking not about abducting but something entirely more intimate, and her pulse was racing as if he’d said the real word he meant. Somehow he’d just gotten far too close to her. She could smell him, could see the minuscule gold flecks in his brown eyes that made them not quite so ordinary. And though his fingers on her cheek were hot, nor did he remove them.
She had no idea what she would do if he suddenly kissed her. And then she found out. No question about it, she was kissing him back.
She was thrilled, just like the first time, but able to enjoy this kiss more. Without the fear of disc
overy that had been present before, she was able to relax, experience more fully the taste and feel of him. But she didn’t stay relaxed for long. Hot, determined, wicked his tongue was. And too many were the sensations it evoked.
He was sharing the same seat with her now, and holding her close. She hadn’t thought this would happen. The possibility had been there, surely, but they’d had too many things to discuss first. They were done with that for the moment, but nothing had been resolved and wouldn’t be until after her parents got to town.
She could hope for the best, but her future wasn’t guaranteed to include this man. She wanted it to, she really did, but the odds were currently against it. And the thought came, wickedly, that to make love with him would definitely better those odds—if her parents found out about it. Not a very fair way to go about it—rather underhanded, actually, not to mention highly embarrassing—but in desperate situations desperate measures could be examined.
Now there was no time to examine anything, though. They both got carried away very quickly, and it became a matter of need rather than decision.
Melissa stopped thinking about it. She was too caught up in the pleasure of his touch. He began innocently enough, caressing her cheeks, her arms, and, when she was too deeply involved in the kiss to notice at first, her breasts. But she did notice, and quickly. How amazing. She could touch her own breast and feel absolutely nothing. He merely rested his hand there and her heart slammed beneath it. And when he squeezed, ever so gently, there was a corresponding tug in her belly—and then lower.
Her breathing became deeply labored. The sensual tension was mounting fast, too fast. She had a fistful of his hair in one hand, and her nails were digging half-moons into his neck with the other—probably all the encouragement he needed to move his hand on to even more intimate regions. Her long skirt was hiked up by degrees as he cleared a path, and the sudden scalding heat of his palm on her bare thigh set off a wealth of coiled churning deep in her core.