“As do all marriages.”
“True, but I think our problems would have turned serious. I’m not sure Louis would have ever believed in Jesus Christ. He didn’t like to be told what to do, and one must be willing to put oneself under authority, or so the Scriptures have led me to believe.”
“Has that been hard for you?”
Niki sighed.
“At times. Trust does not come easily for me.”
Edward wasn’t quite sure how to reply to this, but it didn’t matter: His mind was on something else she’d said.
“Did you say that your husband did not like to be told what to do?”
“Yes. He wasn’t harsh with me, but if his mother demanded something of him, he would push his heel into the dirt.”
“She taught him well, didn’t she?”
Again Niki looked at him, her brows raised in surprised admiration.
“You’ve certainty taken little time to understand my mother-in-law. At times word has come to me that my keeping the boys has enraged her. She’s very accustomed to having her way. No one, and I do mean no one, tells Patrice Bettencourt what she can and cannot do.”
“She sounds like a formidable adversary.”
Niki took a deep breath and admitted quietly, “In truth, she frightens me.”
“You’re safe here.”
“Not if she finds me.”
“Even then.” Edward gently pushed the point, but Niki didn’t seem to hear him. They had reached the boys, and Niki saw that their clothing was only getting worse. She had chosen older pants and shirts for each of them, and her own dress was ancient, but enough was enough.
“Chris, Rich, I think we’ll return to the house.”
“Must we?” Christopher complained.
“Yes. It’s time to clean up a bit.”
The boys did not move.
“Come along now,” Niki urged them, and with ill-concealed displeasure they rose to their feet and accompanied her.
Watching them, Edward thought an element of thankfulness was missing for their having an outing at all, but for two reasons he didn’t voice his misgivings: They were not his children, and if the slight droop in Niki’s shoulders was any indication, she already had enough on her plate.
Ludlow
“Lizzy, I’m going to have a baby.”
The words Cassandra had whispered to her sister lingered long after she’d left for Pembroke. Lizzy had not been expecting to hear such news, but she was completely thrilled for her sister. And considering how much she wanted a child of her own, surprisingly unenvying.
Lizzy’s yearning for a baby was still strong, but it didn’t diminish her joy at the prospect of becoming an aunt. Lizzy smiled as she visualized Cassandra growing round in the middle. For a moment, Sarah Weston came to mind. Cassandra and Tate’s baby would be just as adorable, and Lizzy knew she would fall instantly in love.
A moment later, Lizzy sat up straight in her chair. She had to tell Morland! But where had he said he was going?
“Here you are,” Morland said with satisfaction as he strolled calmly into the room Lizzy occupied. “I couldn’t find you.”
Morland had barely entered the room before Lizzy rushed across the room to hug him.
“I have news!” Lizzy told her husband, still holding onto him.
Morland looked down at his wife’s face, his heart filling over the joy he read there.
“Lizzy, are you pregnant?” he asked hopefully.
“No, but it’s the next best thing. We’re going to be Uncle Morland and Aunt Lizzy.”
“Charlotte and Barrington?”
“No, Cassie and Tate. Can you believe it?”
“Cassie?” Morland asked in surprise, shaking his head a little. Cassandra was the youngest in the family, the one they had always tried to baby. For a moment, Morland couldn’t imagine her with a baby of her own.
“You don’t look excited,” Lizzy mentioned, trying to read his expression.
“I am,” he assured her, “but it takes a little getting used to. Our Cassie, a mother. I can’t take it in just yet.”
Lizzy smiled at him.
“You’re looking very pleased,” Morland said when he caught her eye.
“I’m just so excited for them. It’s going to be wonderful.”
“Are you struggling that it’s Cassie and not you?”
“No, I’m all right. I think God has children in mind for us, but not just yet.”
Morland bent so he could kiss her nose. Lizzy wrapped her arms around him, and they held each other close. They had been married nearly eight months, and they had been some of the happiest months of Lizzy’s life. She knew she would be plagued again about motherhood and God’s timing versus her own, but for the moment, she was choosing to rest.
Aunt Lizzy, she said to herself, hugging Morland just a little bit tighter and thinking the name had a lovely ring.
The Manse
“What are you looking for?” Pastor Hurst asked his wife on Sunday afternoon when he found her in their bedroom, paging through her Bible. Lunch was over, the baby was asleep, and the older children had been asked to engage in quiet activities for the next few hours.
“That verse you referred to at the end of the sermon. Robert was beginning to fuss, and I missed the reference.”
“Get me started,” her husband prompted.
“It was something about ‘faces harder than a rock.’”
“Jeremiah 5.”
Judith turned to that chapter and began to read out loud.
“‘Run ye to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if ye can find a man, if there be any that executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth, and I will pardon it. And though they say, the Lord liveth; surely they swear falsely. O Lord, are not thine eyes upon the truth? Thou hast stricken them, but they have not grieved; thou hast consumed them, but they have refused to receive correction. They have made their faces harder than a rock; they have refused to return.’”
Judith stopped and looked up at him.
“I can’t remember why you read this.”
“I was making a point about the patience of God. The children of Israel failed so many times. Even when He punished them, God was gracious, but they kept on sinning.”
“I don’t recall ever reading these verses before.”
“‘Rock-hard faces’ is a vivid phrase, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Judith suddenly laughed. “It was actually helpful to have Robert deciding that he needed to be fed on the spot. His face very clearly told me that he was unhappy over not having his own way.” Judith shook her head. “We want our own way from a very early age, so I’m not surprised that the Israelites had trouble getting it right.”
Judith looked into her husband’s face.
“You look tired, Frederick.”
“I am. I’m going to nap.”
“I think I’ll join you.”
Without further ado, the couple got comfortable in bed. They talked a bit more about the morning and the sermon, but extra rest was too necessary these days. Hoping that little Robert would sleep for at least another hour, Pastor and Mrs Hurst fell sound asleep.
Blackburn Manor
“What did Pastor Hurst mean this morning when he said we need to be saved every day?”
“He’s been introducing us to that concept off and on for several months now, Niki,” Walker told her after lunch. “He’s not intending to cast doubt on our eternal salvation, but heaven-bound believers need God to rescue them—to save them—each and every day from their sinful thoughts and choices.
“The first time I heard it, I was completely confused. So many of the New Testament books are written to believers, and yet He tells them to be saved.”
Niki looked completely at sea. She tried to put this together in her mind but didn’t succeed.
“Can you show me some places?” she asked after a moment.
“Yes,” Walker
answered, even as he rose and went for his Bible. Turning to the fourth chapter of Ephesians, he resettled in his armchair.
“Starting at verse 22 it talks about their former way of life, so we know these are believers, but then verse 25 tells us to put away lying, verse 27 tells us not to let Satan have a place in our lives, and verse 28 talks about not stealing but instead working hard.
“These are verses to folks who have already believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, Niki. They are still tempted to lie and be lazy. What Pastor Hurst wants us to see is how much we need to be saved every day from those old patterns. Not eternal salvation, let me repeat, but daily salvation, so we can live the life Christ gave us when we put our faith in Him.”
“So it’s not because I’ve lost my salvation. It’s about sinful habits.”
“Exactly.”
Understanding lit Niki’s face. She had complicated it in her mind, but this was simple. This she could grasp.
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I pray every day to be saved from my daily sins and old habits, Niki. Mary does too.”
Niki looked over at her aunt, who smiled at her.
“I’ll have to work on that,” Niki told her.
“Do you have any idea how proud I am of you, Niki?” Mary suddenly asked.
Niki shook her head no.
“I’m very proud. I know all of this has been so hard, but you keep working at it.”
“I’m afraid I’m not making much progress.”
“That’s not true,” Walker said. “You’ve made progress just in the weeks you’ve been here. Don’t let your heart tell you lies.”
Niki nodded, wondering how often her heart did just that.
“Niki, I need to ask you something,” Walker interjected. “But it’s not really my business.”
“I don’t think I’ll mind.”
“All right, but if you do, just tell me.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Are you somewhat interested in Edward Steele?”
“Interested in what way?”
Thinking she would know just what he meant, Walker shrugged a little and said, “I don’t know exactly. I just wondered if he’s a little special to you.”
Niki smiled.
“Edward Steele is the first man since Louis’ death to make me laugh and forget some of the pain. He’s not a man my heart can ignore.”
Walker and Mary exchanged a swift glance, one that Niki didn’t catch. By the time she looked back at them, they were both smiling at her in very real pleasure.
“Why do you ask?” she wished to know, having read something in their faces.
“We find ourselves wishing that you’ll be around for a time,” Mary confessed. “We thought Edward might be reason enough.”
To this Niki only smiled. She didn’t have an answer to that question and was glad they didn’t press her. In her mind, Edward was more than enough reason to stay in Collingbourne, but as in the past, the decision to stay anywhere would probably be taken out of her hands.
Collingbourne
“We have to shop for baby things,” Lizzy told Cassandra as the coach entered town on Monday morning, her eyes on the list in her hand.
Cassandra protested. “No, not yet, Lizzy. We’ll have everyone gossiping about the possibility, and they’ll be outright guessing.”
“We’ll be subtle.”
“You can’t be subtle in Collingbourne. It’s too small.”
“I can manage. You’ll just have to study the way I do it and learn something.”
Cassandra shook her head and muttered, “By the time we leave for home, my condition will be all over town.”
But Lizzy was not convinced. She was quite excited about shopping for baby items and was certain she could do it without drawing attention to herself.
“We’ll start at The Mill.”
“Why The Mill?” Cassandra asked.
“They have the best fabrics.”
“How are you going to buy fabric suitable for a baby’s needs and not give this away?”
Lizzy opened her mouth to reply and then closed it.
Cassandra waited.
Lizzy stared at her sister, her brow furrowed.
“I thought I was going to study the way you do things and learn from you,” Cassandra inserted.
“Yes, well, I might have been a bit hasty with that,” Lizzy said, sounding comical to Cassandra, who began to chuckle.
“We could just go to tea at Gray’s and call it an outing, Cassie,” Lizzy suggested, and that put her sister into fullblown laughter. Lizzy, shaking her head at her own arrogance, laughed with her.
The women did end up shopping at Benwick’s, taking their time and actually finding a few things, but it was nothing like Lizzy had envisioned.
They enjoyed a leisurely tea at Gray’s and then headed for home, laughing all over again at Lizzy’s plan and the way Cassandra was supposed to watch and learn.
Chapter Sixteen
Blackburn Manor
Juliana’s letter began, We’ve been discovered. Having seen who the letter was from, Niki had gone to her room for privacy. She now sat down slowly on the bed, her eyes taking in the words.
A man by the name of Ellenborough has been put on your case. He’s a chap from London with an excellent reputation for finding anyone he’s hired to locate. He was here poking about, and for that reason we’re moving. When we get resettled, we’ll come to see if you need to join us in our new place. As always, you and Denley know how to reach us should the plan fall to pieces.
The letter went to Niki’s lap, and for a long time she sat staring at nothing. For a short while she had believed that she had left the past behind. For long hours and sometimes days, she’d forgotten that Patrice Bettencourt was hunting for her and the boys.
A sigh lifted her chest even as she tucked the letter away and went in search of her servant. He would need to be informed and start making trips into town. They didn’t have to leave Collingbourne, but they would have to be more cautious.
As Niki exited her bedroom, her mind quite naturally went to Kendal-in-the-Forest. She loved that home and its location. The boys did too. She wanted to cry at the thought of never being there again.
“When will this end?” she whispered quietly, making her way down the hall in search of Denley, the one person who had been with her through it all.
“Let me see it,” Denley said to Christopher, whose tears were very close to the surface. “Ah, yes, you did pinch it, Master Christopher. Shall we find a cool cloth to put on it?”
The little boy nodded, trying to be brave even as his right index finger throbbed no small amount.
“I’m sorry, Chris,” Richard repeated.
Christopher looked at the person identical to himself, but he wasn’t angry. The two little boys walked side by side behind Denley, who was the soul of gentleness and patience. The boys should not have been playing with the garden tool they’d found lying in the grass, but they had, and now Christopher was in pain.
Looking at Richard’s small face, Denley thought Richard’s pain might be just as great as Christopher’s because he had been the one to close the handles and cause the pinch.
“Denley—” Niki was suddenly in front of him as he crossed the veranda, not seeing the boys in his wake. “I need to speak with you.”
“Right away, Mrs Bettencourt.”
These words were no more out of his mouth than Christopher threw himself at his mother. He didn’t cry but buried his face against her and held on for dear life.
“What’s this?” Niki questioned the top of his head, but Richard did all the talking. Niki heard him out and would have scolded them but thought Christopher’s hurt finger might be punishment enough. If their faces were any indication, they had learned their lesson.
“Go with Denley now and get that taken care of. Then I must speak to Denley. After that, we’ll sit quietly and I’ll read to you.”
Niki lingered on the veranda
until Denley returned. Wordlessly she handed him the letter.
“Do you wish to leave?” he asked, returning the paper to her hand.
“No, but I think this merits some activity in town.”
“How often would you like me to go?”
Niki had to think about this, and for the next several minutes the two put together a plan. From there, she went in to read to her sons. Privacy had become a way of life with Niki, and for that reason, it never once crossed her mind to tell Mary or Walker about the letter.
Pembroke
“Cassandra Tate!” her husband said from behind her, nearly upsetting her balance. “Get off that chair.”
Cassandra climbed down, trying to look nonchalant and innocent but not quite pulling it off.
“Now, I think I’ve improved,” Tate began severely as he crossed the room toward her. “I’m not watching you every moment as though you’re going to break, but do not expect me to stand back and watch you climb onto pieces of furniture, pregnant or not.”
Cassandra stood beside the chair, torn between guilt and laughter. She knew Tate would not find this funny, so she said nothing.
“What were you doing?”
“I couldn’t reach the book I wanted.”
Tate’s expression of long-suffering almost broke her resolve not to laugh.
“You have a houseful of servants and a very tall husband.”
“I didn’t think of that,” Cassandra admitted, and Tate caught the twinkle she had worked so hard to hide.
“You think this is funny, don’t you?” He looked astounded.
“No,” Cassandra lied, her eyes growing large with the effort.
Tate leveled her with a look, and Cassandra glanced away, her fingers going to her mouth.
“Which book?” he asked, keeping his ire close at hand so he wouldn’t laugh with her.
Cassandra pointed.