At the same week Natalya got back her old job. But she was transferred to deal with poor citizens in another area, out of the Jewish streets. She did not want to raise Blooma’s curiosity about her relations with Rabbi Aaron. So she hired half a room, in a hut owned by an older gentile acquaintance of her, a factory worker.
Natalya could see Rabbi Aaron only at nights, and they would meet three times a week. He began teaching her a ‘prompt course to main principles of Judaism’ as he called it. Rabbi Aaron first asked her about her education in childhood days. He quickly understood, that she had but a little knowledge about Judaism, its religion (Halakha)and culture, being educated at school with Pravoslav children. Natalya’s father had been a handsome gentile man of theater, and her Jewish mother, who was an actress in a small theater- fell in love with him and became pregnant. However- her father had left while Ntalya was eight or nine. Her school was managed by a narrow minded woman, and the teachers were stupid. The Religion teacher hated Judas Ish Criot, who betrayed Jesus. Natalya, who had known that her mother was Jewish, was split who to believe: Her Mom was used to say, that the Jews were marvelous people, but tragically suffering; and for her - it had been enough to play tragedies on the theatre’s stage. . .But Natalya loved her father too, and he sent her to be educated in a school of his religion. Christianity had been proved to be successful and true for millions of believers in Russia; so, in her teenage she had adored that religion; ‘though I had remembered,’ she said , ‘that my father himself was a declared atheist, and tried to educate me in a way of thinking and disbelief’in what the priests harangue till he had abandoned me and my ma.’
In her teenage she began to read - in Russian- some tales from the Bible’s Old Testamnet, so she told Rabbi Aaron. Genesis and something about Moses’ Ten commandments. Also the Prophet Jeremiah’s book she had known: Her Pravoslav teacher liked that tragical prophet and poet, who had the gloomy vision of Judea’s destrucion, and he had prophesied the exile of the ‘Sinful Nation’.
“Jeremiah’s prophecy had amazingly been realized till nowadays, “ Natalya told the Rabbi, “that was for my school teacher - a proof for his long range vision.”
“But never had this antisemite teacher - taught you the Redemption prophecies of the old Testament?” asked Rabbi Aaron.
“No.” said Natalya. So, Rabbi Aaron asked her if she had not forgotten to bring with her the Old Testament in Russian, that she had owned. She pulled it out from her bag, and he said:
“You should now find, by yourself - the pages of Prophet Isaiah book. Read there chapter number forty.”
She read loudly the marvelloue redemption prophecy: “Condole, condole my People, so tells you God,” etc. Having finished the chapter, Natalya said that she was sorry for being ignorant in Hebrew, as the original poetry of the prophet, of course, would be even more beautiful than the Russian version.
“At some phase of your repent procedure,” reckoned Rabbi Aaron in his pedantic manner, “we must learn the Hebrew language. Otherwise you will not understand the exact meaning of prayers and ceremonies of our religion.” He asked her to close the Bible book, and began to read loudly and interpret some chapters’ headings from the ‘Code of the Arranged Table (Shulkhan Orukh)’- of the Jewish religion laws and ceremonies and behavior. He said he would first concentrate on the main daily prayers (Shema Israel and Eighteen requests from God). Then they’ll continue with the Holidays details, and at last - or together with that- he will teach her about a woman conduct, regarding intimate matters: regarding her monthly menstruation period, modesty and loyalty to her family, and so on.
He mentioned, that she might wonder, but a Jewish woman is not commanded to study all religion laws, written in those thick books.
“So, Natalychka, that’s enough for today,” he reckoned, “I’ve told you the edge of some principles, that I think to be important for a Jewish woman to know and practice. If you think that you can stand in that- you are welcome. . . If it seems to you too hard to maintain, you are free to leave this path. I know it’s quite difficult. To my disaster, my first wife, who I had thought to be the strongest God Believer - had fallen... So, a man experienced like me … what would he and what could he tell you, dear Natalya? You have to decide. It’s all yours.”
“I have decided, my dear Aaron. Wherever you go- I go. I know that categorical sentence from the Book of Ruth, that you have asked me to read. . .”
When she went home, she was too tired to think about all what they had spoken. Her feeling was, that Aaron’s talk to her had lifted her soul. She reflected that though her target would be hard to reach, she could lead herself to it. Her aspiration for truth and righousness would realize in embracing the religion, that had been so far from her. Perhaps because the other extreme side of her life had been proven to be so erroneous, ugly and unworthy. . .Now she will carry the torch, burning with the new flash of hope. She will not rush, nor inquire the exact reasons for her devotion to that blick of redemption. She must seize it and keep it carefully like a precious cinder, that should not be extinguished by any occasional wind or rain.
From time to time Rabbi Aaron would not be able to restrain himself. He would come to Natalya’s room in the afternooon, after ending his work in the Gallery. They would lie on her bed till darkness, and then they would both take the boy from Blooma, put him into his bed to sleep, and then begin learning together at his hut.
‘Well,’ Natalya was thinking, ‘Rabbi Aaron teaches both of us: His son – at noon, in the Gallery; and me here, at night. I am a dedicated pupil to these studies. I hope he has stopped thinking about getting out of Russia. He would not talk about that any more. I try to convince him to marry soon. Because what happens - if I get pregnant? With a big family - it would be even harder to leave Russia, if at all. . .But for the time being my womb like refuses. I feel that it has something to do with the abortion trauma that I had. . .Rabbi Aaron does not inquire. I think he is satisfied with this situation, that we are not officially married. He asks every month about my menstruation. I don’t mind that he is relating to me as his concubine. I have much patience to him. He is still split within himself about his ability to keep all the strict religion’s instructions regarding me. “We fulfill whatever religious duties that we can,” Aaron has told me recently, “Had we lived in one of the free countries, we could have kept much more strictly all the religious codex. I pray daily to God, asking His forgiveness to our sins. The known ones - and those hidden from our eyes. . .I swear to God, that my soul is pure. I believe - that is what matters to Him.”
CHAPTER 31